Sunghyuk leans forward, chin on his hand, eyes squinting as Dongmyeong enters the dining room.  There’s a crowd of students getting in line for dinner, others making way to their friends already at a table.

Dongmyeong talks a bit with some of their classmates, laughing loudly.

Sunghyuk hates it, it grates on his nerves, so annoying.

He looks on as Dongmyeong finally pulls away, pointing to the food line but body turned away, towards the table Sunghyuk always sits on.

He takes a deep breath, stuttering as he lets go of it, leaning back, hand going for his carton of milk.

“Hello,” Dongmyeong pulls a chair back, voice bright, eyes curving with his smile, “what are you doing eating alone?”

Sunghyuk doesn’t answer at first, looking at the other boy with thinly veiled annoyance.  Sunghyuk had met Dongmyeong on moving day.  He had entered his dorm, eyes trailing over the mess already sprawled on the bed pressed right by the window.  He had rolled in his suitcase, carried up his boxes of books and things.

The sun had began to set and his roommate had not been back.

It was an hour before dinner when he had heard the door open, looked up to see the head of blond hair, the wide smile that had broken the moment he had realized there was someone else in the room.

Sunghyuk had sat up, raised his hand in greeting and couldn’t help the way he recoiled at Dongmyeong’s loud hello.

He sighs, putting his drink down, Dongmyeong is looking at him, “I’m going back to the room,” he says, getting up, pushing the tray towards the other boy.

He doesn’t let himself look at Dongmyeong as he leaves, keeps his eyes on his shoes, counting the steps it takes him to get out of the dining room.

-

He has the lights off, curled into himself under his covers when the door to their room opens, the soft sounds of Dongmyeong’s steps on the carpet make him close his eyes in pretend sleep.

He listens as Dongmyeong moves through the dark, too nice to turn the lights on, just in case Sunghyuk is actually sleeping.

With his back turned to him, Sunghyuk hears the way clothes rustle, the sound of the uniform blazer dropping, followed by the crisp buttoned up shirt, the clink of his belt buckle.

Sunghyuk feels the way heat rushes to his cheeks, the warmness as they go pink, Dongmyeong must think he’s really sleeping.

It feels like time drags on before Sunghyuk hears the other bed creak, Dongmyeong pulling the covers over himself.

He waits for Dongmyeong to whisper his good night, but the night stays silent and he falls asleep.

-

He’s not sure what it is about Dongmyeong that rubs him the wrong way.  

Sunghyuk thinks about it a lot.  

He’s too bright, too happy, too willing to please and be helpful.

He’s annoying.

When all Sunghyuk has ever wanted was to be left alone and get through the four years of high school.

When he had applied for boarding school, he had never really thought about what kind of roommate he would like.  The first three years have been fine, Sunghyuk had gotten students that were as quiet, as reserved as he had been.  

Now as he sits on his desk, trying to do his math homework he knows he would have preferred anyone but Son Dongmyeong.

He looks back as the door begins to open, Dongmyeong pushing through, cheeks pink, hair rustled a bit.

They lock gazes for a second, Dongmyeong’s lips parted with his breathing, cheeks dusting darker with pink.

He doesn’t say anything as he goes to his bed, ing his blazer, sitting at the side of his bed.

Sunghyuk watches him, room silent.

“Someone kissed me,” Dongmyeong finally says, a hushed whisper that falls heavy between them.

Sunghyuk keeps looking at him, eyes catching the swell of his bruised lips.

It’s an all boy school.

It breaks into his thoughts, pushes forward until Sunghyuk can feel heat begin to pin prick all over his skin.

He looks away, turns to look at his book and asks, almost painfully.

“Who?”

Dongmyeong doesn’t comment on the way that one word holds so much strain,

“Gunhee hyung.”

Sunghyuk remembers him, an upperclassman somehow brighter, louder than Dongmyeong.

“I told him I had never kissed anyone,” Dongmyeong tacks on, voice sounding far away, the silence enough to let Sunghyuk figure out what happened next.

He wants to ask, what it means for Gunhee and Dongmyeong, if it means anything.

He words catch on his throat but he manages to ask, “do you like each other?”

Dongmyeong gaze feels heavy on his back, burning, even.

Dongmyeong laughs, a small bubbly thing.

“No,” he says between his laugh, “I just,” he pauses, as if thinking on how to continue his sentence, “I just didn’t want my first kiss to be terrible so hyung did me a favor.”

Sunghyuk hates how easy it sounds, so airy coming from Dongmyeong’s mouth.  Everything is so easy for him, and Sunghyuk can’t help but find it so infuriating.

“Was it terrible,” he asks, finally turns around, just in time to catch the far away look in Dongmyeong’s eyes.

“It was amazing,” Dongmyeong sighs.

-

The thoughts of Dongmyeong kissing someone, kissing another boy soon take over his thoughts.  

Sunghyuk tries to push them aside, but finds that its hard when he and Dongmyeong share their room, when Dongmyeong still sits next to him in the dining room, when he’s doing his work and he catches the way Dongmyeong smiles at his phone.

He lays in bed, listens to Dongmyeong’s even breathing and thinks about how he’s never been kissed.

And then, as sleep begins to take over, mind drifting off, breathing even, a thought blossoms for a fraction of a second, a question that he’s been trying to ignore.

How does kissing a boy feel?

-

As the week continues Sunghyuk becomes aware of many things.

The way his eyes trail over boys that he found interesting but now knows he finds attractive.

How his eyes linger way too long in gym class, watching his classmates play basketball, muscles on display.

His heart speeds up when a classmate he finds attractive leans in close to talk to him, when they throw an arm around him and smile at him.

He sits on his bed and realizes how all these strange feelings, this anxiety he has had, finally make sense and he’s not sure what to do.

Dongmyeong comes back from taking a shower, hair wet, pulling his shirt down, flashing Sunghyuk a chance to look at the soft skin of his stomach.

He offers a smile, like always, so insistent.

“I've never been kissed,” Sunghyuk says, quietly, eyes wide.