~ Even without a red string, Taeyeon and I still have something even more special between us ~

Hiya! Tiffany here! First and foremost, I know I said in the previous chapter that I’ll state here the reason why I’ve written said chapter but a little birdie told me that it would be better if I tell you in a different way, instead of just outright stating it here. Besides, the paper would go to waste if I don’t do otherwise—and I do not want to sleep on the couch again!

But before I continue on, I just want to ask if you can read the line at the very top? Actually, that was a very stupid question. But you do see the names, right? Yes? Good! Just keep those names in mind and you’ll be fine. Now, onwards!

P.S.

October 9. Year 5127 | Los Angeles, California | Chinese General Hospital | Dr. Han’s Clinic

‘Was I wrong? But I’m sure that’s what I saw.’ I thought to myself while staring at Doctor Han. She was a nice lady and could pass off as my mom since we both have the same blue eyes, though her hair is as bright as the sun while mine is as red as an apple. She could also speak English. But unlike my previous check-ups, she’s scaring me today. She’s not smiling like she used to and was staring hard at me as if she’s waiting for some kind of confession. Does she think I’m lying then? But I don’t lie about important things such as this.

I forced myself to look elsewhere when I felt like crying. I don’t want to cry because only the guilty cries. I know I said nothing wrong so I looked beside me and saw my real mother. We have the same hair but not the eyes. Hers are like the sand I like to play with. Her warm gaze always makes me smile. But not today either. She was staring at me the same way Doctor Han is. I couldn’t actually describe the look she’s giving me. Her silence is like when she’s angry but, again, that’s only when I have said or did something wrong—or when daddy comes home late, drunk, and had driven. I was a good girl today, as I can tell so far. Daddy’s not here either. He’s at work but possibly waiting for the results. How am I supposed to tell all of this to him when the teller, me, couldn’t even understand a single thing?

I took a deep breath and blinked multiple times when I felt my eyes stinging. ‘I’m not going to cry.’ I told myself when the silence continued. I looked around again, unable to take the look my mother gave me. What I saw was a silent clinic. Is a clinic ever silent? Well, besides today of course. I saw a nurse by the door and he looked surprised. It was probably at what I said. I looked at him for a few minutes before deciding that he was new so I just looked at my left ring finger. Out of habit, I caressed the finger with my left thumb and sighed. What I said was the truth.

“Are you sure, Tiffany?”

I jumped at Doctor Han’s sudden question. But I managed to nod. She closed then clenched her jaw, looking lost in thought. She looked back at her computer screen, opened a couple of documents—daddy always does the same when we’ve just arrived at his office—and said nothing more.

“Honey, you know that you have to tell the truth, right?” Mommy asked me this time. When I looked at her, her gaze was gentle, just like always, but her grip on my other hand is almost like she was asking something from me. Was she pleading? For what? The truth? But I already gave it to them! I suddenly felt very angry, as if I was betrayed.

“Why would I lie about this? It’s an important part of my life, right? You and daddy said so. So, I told the truth. The color of the string is a rainbow! There’s a red, yes, but there are other colors as well. I’m not saying this to be special or anything. It’s really a rainbow and the string’s leading to the door!” I stated with more force that I would’ve liked. I clenched my jaw when the tears threatened to spill but I forced them away with rapid blinking. Crying will do me no good.

Mommy then weaved her fingers through my hair with her other hand, consoling me. My anger immediately melted away with every caress until all that’s left was confusion. Why are they finding it hard to believe me?

“I believe you, honey, I really do. But a rainbow string has never been reported before. It’s always red.” She explained. She then had this ‘thinking look’. Mommy loves to study and I always get lost in her personal library since the bookshelves are taller and bulkier than me. I’m actually amazed that researchers like mommy find strings, particularly the red one, to be so amazing they study it their whole lives and even publish these thick books! They even get to teach in live T.V! But now that she mentioned it, there really was only red-colored strings. No blue, yellow, green, etc.

I wanted to ask why there’s only red but then whenever she wears her ‘thinking look’ she tends to zone out. So, I looked at Doctor Han. She’s a doctor that specializes in red strings so, surely, she knows a few things? But then, Doctor Han gave a soft ‘excuse me’, her phone pressed to her ear, and gestured for the nurse to follow her with a wave of her hand. He then closed the door behind him.

I sighed at the silence. The silence reminded me of home actually but instead of being surrounded by the smell of alcohol and medicine, our home smells like flowers, old books and technology. A caress on my left ring finger brought my attention back to mommy. She was looking at my left hand that was now in her grasp, still lost in thought, while her other hand rhythmically tapped her fingers on her knee. She was still thinking.

Suddenly bored, I stared at the cute, cat-like clock mounted on the wall near Doctor Han’s computer. Its black eyes were moving left to right repeatedly with every tick while it’s spotted tail moved in tandem. It was currently 1 p.m. The ticking became audible when the silence grew louder and I found solace in the repeating pattern. The large hand then moved when the small hand completed its course around the clockface before starting again. I managed to see the large hand move once more before the door of the clinic opened again with a sharp click.

In came Doctor Han but another doctor came in with her. He was a lot older than her with a slightly rounded belly. His head was shaped like an egg but with dark hair growing on top. He was so tall I thought he was going to hit his head on the doorframe when he stepped inside. He then stayed there, as if he was waiting. He wears glasses like daddy and he looked to be lost in thought, though he smiled in greetings when he saw me. Not wanting to be rude, I smiled back and waved. He chuckled and gave a wave of his own. Doctor Han stood beside him with her usual smile now in sight.

“Mrs. Hwang, this is Dr. Tan and yes, Tiffany, our names rhyme.” Doctor Han said then gave me a playful glare. I giggled at her. After a quick exchange of introductions and handshakes, Doctor Han continued, “Dr. Tan here is an ophthalmologist. He specializes in eye care.” I already knew that Doctor Han knew that mommy knew but I think this is what daddy describes as formality. Mommy though was worrying about something.

“Is there something wrong with my daughter’s eyes?” Mommy asked while gripping my hand. What she’d asked surprised me too. I thought this check-up was about my string. What does my eyes have anything to do with it? Out of curiosity, I waved my other free hand in front of eyes and found nothing wrong. I suddenly heard a deep chuckle before I felt a large hand gently descend on top of my head.

“I guess that’s one way to do it, Tiffany, but it wouldn’t be enough to tell if something’s wrong.” He said before taking a seat in front of us. “As for your question, Mrs. Hwang, that is why I’m here. I’m going to check your daughter’s eyes for anything that could be affecting her vision. But rest assured, I don’t think it will be anything too serious or life threatening. If anything, it might be a case of color blindness, though seeing a rainbow as a result of said condition is impossible.”

I blinked then stared at him for a long while. Okay, so a rainbow string is so rare they think I have problems with my vision? I don’t know if I should feel angry or offended. I might only be six years old but I can tell colors apart! Mommy must have noticed my deep frown since she smiled gently at me and started to caress my hair again to soothe me.

“They just want to help, honey. Just be patient for a bit more then it’ll be all over before you knew it. Besides, this makes your story-telling a bit more interesting. I’m sure your father will be delighted to hear all of it.” Mommy said with her usual caring smile. Well, at least I would know if my eyes are good and needles aren’t that scary. Besides, mommy finds it important so I can’t really argue with that. I then looked at Doctor Tan before nodding.

“I’m glad both of you understand. Now, please follow me to my office so we can begin.” He instructed as he held his hand for me to hold. I did. Walking hand-in-hand, we exited Doctor Han’s office and went to Doctor Tan’s. Once I was outside, I couldn’t help but look at the rainbow string that was leading to the other direction of the hallway. The string led to the right but we took a left. I then lost sight of it after entering Doctor Tan’s office.

---

October 10. Year 5127 | Los Angeles, California | Chinese General Hospital

After going through every single test Doctor Tan gave me yesterday, the results were immediately produced. Every single one said the same thing. Nothing was wrong with my vision. There were also no bad symptoms. I was perfectly healthy in that aspect of my senses.

As a result, Doctor Han accepted the fact that I have a rainbow string and not the usual red one. But, the time for my registration has to be moved since it was already dark out by the time we were finished and I needed to rest. What made up for our exhaustion was when I told today’s events to daddy. He was so shocked! Then, he became worried for my well-being that he started to cry. He’s such a worrywart, or as mommy likes to . The night ended somewhat peacefully after. And so, come next day, today, I found myself going back to the hospital with my mother once more. But the place we went to was bizarre, to say the least. It was at the very bottom of the hospital.

I wasn’t able to see the label outside of the room when I came in but I was sure this place isn’t a clinic. There were two guards stationed outside and two more inside. The guards inside seemed to be guarding the computers here. I wonder what’s so important about them. Daddy said that computers contains various data that are made of 0s and 1s. Something about binary. Maybe that’s what these guards are guarding?

While I was waiting by the door for further instructions, I saw a young man wearing a lab coat walk towards me. His hair was black but his eyes were gray. He looks like a superhero!

“Hello there! What’s your name?” He asked as he bent down so we could be at eye-level. He looks like mommy whenever she wears her coats, but he could pass off as her son. Speaking of mommy, she’s not here. She wasn’t allowed inside. Something about protocol?

“Is everything alright?” The same young man asked me.

“Oh, sorry about that. I was thinking. I got it from mommy! As for your question, my name’s Tiffany Hwang. What’s yours?” I asked back. Mommy said it’s the polite thing to do. What I got was a pat on the head. I like pats even though I’m not a dog. I have to ask daddy about that later on.

“You’re quite eloquent for your age. That’s good. And I’m Nathaniel Kim. It’s nice to meet you.” He replied with another kind smile. I wish I have him as my brother.

“It’s nice to meet you too!” I replied in kind. He simply smiled at me then straightened up and offered his hand. Wondering where we’ll go next, I quietly took it. He instantly started walking so I simply followed him. He then went further inside the room where another door was waiting. He pressed the palm of his other hand to a rectangular thingy beside the door. Said door opened with a woosh! It was so cool! What was before us was not as cool though. It was a long, gray hallway that was so long I couldn’t properly see the end. Knowing I’d be bored during the walk, I started with the questions again. He seemed kind and patient enough to tolerate a six-year old child.

“Oh, could it be that you’re half-Korean?” I asked him. I then stared at his facial features as we walk, searching for clues. What I found was his incredibly pale skin and the shape of his eyes that looks almost the same as mommy’s. His eye color though is unusual. I guess it’s a rare eye color.

“Yes, I am. How did you know?” He replied with the smile never leaving. His smile was real and he looked really interested. I really wish I have him as my brother.

“It’s your name. Mommy’s last name used to be ‘Kim’ too before she got married to daddy and got it changed.”

“Then that makes you half-Korean too, huh?”

At that, I shook my head, much to his surprise. “I’ve asked mommy about it before. She said something about a quarter, I think? Something about Irish, Korean, and American. I didn’t really get it.”

“Hmmm, it makes sense that a part of you is Irish due to the red hair and part-American for your eyes. Though, I can’t really see your Korean part other than your name. Well, regardless of that, I think you’re really pretty, Tiffany, and keep on smiling too! You have quite a pretty smile.” He complimented which made me laugh. He’s like a big teddy bear now.

“Thank you! A lot of people say the same.” I replied. I then saw a large, plain, metallic door with the same rectangular thingy beside it.

“That’s good. Oh, we’re here!” He announced with glee before pressing his palm on the weird object again. With another woosh, the door revealed a room that was far bigger than the one I was recently in. There were so many computers that I became scared of stepping inside since I might break something. There were also some lab coat-wearing people inside. All of them were either reading something from papers or looking at a particular screen. Everyone was busy. At the middle of it all was a large tube that could fit a grown person easily. Looking up, I saw the tube connected to this really large machine that looked like a spacecraft with lots of thick wires hanging from it. Looking at me was a camera with lens that seemed to be as large as my own hand. The machine was also making a few noises, a beep here and a boop there.

As I wondered about what happens next, one of the lab coat-wearing person came to us. She looked as old as Nathaniel. With the same kind smile he has—I wonder if everyone here is used to being around children—she spoke after bending down to my eye-level. “You must be Tiffany Hwang. I’m Seo Juhyun. I’m a researcher just like Kim Nathaniel. The machine isn’t ready yet so we have to wait for a few more minutes. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you.” Juhyun then extended her hand for a handshake. I quickly clasped her hand with my own before replying in kind.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Juhyun! But, how did you know my name?”

“Well, to tell you the truth, you’re quite famous right now. After all, a rainbow string has never been reported by a child ever since the discovery of red strings centuries ago. And as researchers, we’re quite curious and eager to learn about these kinds of topics. It opens up possibilities that are just waiting to be studied!” She answered with bubbling enthusiasm where she looked similar to mommy. Her dark brown eyes seemed to sparkle under the artificial lighting the fluorescent lights gave. For a moment, her eyes looked like diamonds.

I couldn’t help but be affected by her excitement as I bounce in my place. “Then, if you do get to learn something new, can you teach me all about it?”

Suddenly, the spark that illuminated Juhyun’s otherwise dark brown eyes dimmed significantly as if a candle within her was snuffed out. Her gaze then turned soft and clouded, and when she looked at me, it felt like she was seeing right past me. As if she was seeing someone else in my place. Silently, she cupped my cheeks before she offered a small, sad smile. Then, she whispered, “I promise.”

“Juhyun?”, was all I could reply with in my confusion. I was also inwardly wondering if she was alright. She looked so sad. But, as if she had woken up from her dream, her gaze cleared once more and her eyes regained the life it previously held. She also let go of my cheeks before backing up a bit, blushing in embarrassment.

“Ah, sorry about that. Your eagerness to learn just reminded me of someone I used to be close with. Let’s see, she should be around your age by now.” Juhyun tried to explain but I was still confused. Still, I did notice a few odd words in her sentence.

“You used both past and future tenses. Why is that?”

Juhyun looked surprised but she didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she straightened up then stared directly at Nathaniel who never left my side. The same sad smile returned but I couldn’t understand the look in her eyes. But, when I stared at Nathaniel as well, his gaze held the same soft look he gave me when he first greeted me. I just noticed that he looked to be reminiscing. Are those memories concerning this person?

I blinked to focus again when I saw him nod. Looking back at Juhyun, she sat cross-legged on the floor this time. Following her example, I sat down in front of her and saw Nathaniel do the same from the corner of my eyes. One of Juhyun’s hands then reached out to briefly caress my red hair before settling her palm on the side of my head. Her dark brown eyes darkened further when she spoke. “She was involved in an accident two years ago. As a result, she had slipped into a coma. ‘Till now, she still hasn’t woken up.”

Then, suddenly, right after she blinked, she looked at me with longing before biting on her lower lip. I silently questioned her about it with a slight tilt of my head. I watched as her cheeks further flushed. “I-um. This is quite abrupt, but would it be alright if I hug you?”

At that, I immediately went into her waiting arms and tried to give her as much warmth as I could. When she asked, she looked deeply hurt and guilty. They must have a special bond. I somehow understood her pain because my heart hurts as well when either mommy or daddy gets hurt, no matter how small of an injury. But I couldn’t understand why she looked so guilty.

“You could have been friends.” She whispered as she hugged me a bit tighter before letting me go. I unwrapped my arms around her neck but I held on to her hands. I then noticed she felt a bit cold. Did the sadness in her heart seeped through her skin? If so, I want to give her some warmth.

“We could still be. What’s her name?”

This time, it was Nathaniel who answered. “Her name is Kim Taeyeon. She’s my baby sister.” This time, it was the look in his eyes that I couldn’t understand. His lips were stretched to a small smile but the sentiment wasn’t reflected by his gaze.

I was silent for a few seconds, wondering how it would’ve felt to lose someone you deeply love then regaining hope but only for it to be snatched away at the last minute, so I could have even a small grasp of the emotion that reflected in his gaze. But I realize that it never happened to me so all I could rely on was my own imagination, which felt inadequate. It was like stepping on their hearts and belittling the pain they went through.

“Tiffany?”

I stared back at Juhyun, suddenly confused. How much could a person, who’s hurting like the two of them, be able to care for another? Surely there’s only so much a person’s heart could fit before it bursts. I wanted to ask them, but all that came out was a wish granting for their permission. “Can I go visit her someday?”

That certainly took them by surprise as I stared at the two of them back and forth. Nathaniel was the first one to recover from the shock by chuckling. “You sure love surprises, don’t you Tiffany? Well, of course you can go visit her! Just tell me when and I’ll be happy to accompany you. Taeng would love a new friend. She’s a bit shy but she’s a nice kid.”

“Well, if that’s so then I want to come too. It’s been a month since I last visited. She’d surely get angry at me.” Juhyun joined in as she giggled.

I stared at the two of them with a wide smile of my own, glad that I managed to give them a sliver of happiness. “I’ll tell mommy later!”

The three of us talked a bit more before another researcher came towards us. She told us that the machine was now ready and I could get registered. There were a few more tests that needed to be done exactly before entering the tube to avoid, in their words, ‘any kind of stimuli from interfering’. But when I finally did, all I could feel was excitement at meeting Kim Taeyeon.

---

Juhyun accompanied Nathaniel and I back outside where I saw mommy sitting on one of the many foldable, plastic chairs bolted to the wall. She closed the book she was reading and marked the page with a bookmark when she saw me running towards her.

“Careful, dear! You could get hurt!” Mommy reprimanded in a firm tone, though I know she wasn’t really mad especially with that smile of hers. She’s just always worried for me. Her smile widened when she saw Nathaniel and Juhyun approaching us as well. Another round of introductions was exchanged again before they told mommy what had happened inside.

“Everything went smoothly, Mrs. Hwang. And she’s become quite a favorite inside.” Nathaniel said with a chuckle as he ruffled my hair. I just laughed and tried to fix the messy strands, knowing he was right.

“She’s quite the ball of energy.” Juhyun added as she helped me with my task. I’m beginning to see why Kim Taeyeon and her were close. Juhyun behaves like an older sister.

“I hope my daughter wasn’t too much of a bother to anyone. I know that research work is quite stressful.” Mommy apologized. I frowned when she frowned. If mommy’s unhappy then I’m unhappy too.

“Oh, no. Everyone was happy of her presence. She took our stress away, like breathing fresh air after a long while. Chief Jung even thought of letting us watch videos of kittens and puppies during breaks to refresh ourselves. And they were all sad to see her go.” Nathaniel stated the earlier events. As I look at him keeping his smile, for the many times today, I wondered if he ever stopped. Maybe when Kim Taeyeon got into the accident and was in a coma, but even then, I could still see him, somehow, with a ghost of a smile as he tries to remain strong for the both of them. That then begs the question. What is the definition of strong, other than the one in dictionaries and search engines?

I looked at Nathaniel first, then Juhyun, and finally mommy. I stared at her for a few more seconds before holding her hand with my left one. I’ve decided to just ask her later at home since she seem content with the conversation.

“Yes, that’s right. Oh, and we tried to see if there was a child anywhere in the world that had registered with a rainbow string but, unfortunately, there is none. Seeing the rareness of Tiffany’s string, we guessed that it might take her a few more years before finding her soulmate.” Juhyun then looked at me with a teasing look in her eyes. “Then again, knowing just how excited you could get, I imagine that it won’t take you long to find your soulmate, rainbow string or otherwise.”

“Of course! Besides, mommy said that I’ll know my soulmate is near if the string isn’t scattered everywhere. And, well, right now my string is just laying on the floor and leading towards the elevator, I think.” I said then gave an experimental pull, wondering if my soulmate will pull back but there was none. Mommy said that my other half will pull back if they were near, asleep or awake. Seeing no response, I guess they were still a bit far away to notice the pull.

Soon after that, goodbyes were exchanged since it was getting late and daddy is waiting at home for the next chapter of my story. I looked back and waved goodbye at Nathaniel and Juhyun who did the same as mommy and I were escorted to the elevator by one of the guards stationed outside the room. Suddenly, I remembered about Kim Taeyeon.

“Oh, before I forgot! Mommy, can I go and visit Kim Taeyeon? Both Nathaniel and Juhyun said they’d be happy to accompany me!” I told her as we wait for the elevator doors to open but my smile dropped when hers did. Mommy looked at me as if she didn’t expect me to know where she’s hidden the map of a treasure.

“Honey, where did you learn of that name?” She asked, looking troubled. I was worried by her sudden change in emotion but she still asked a question.

“From Nathaniel and Juhyun, mommy. Kim Taeyeon is Nathaniel’s younger sister and they told me things about her. Why? Should I have not?”

To my relief, mommy smiled again.

“Ah, no. You did nothing wrong. I was just surprised that you know her.” Mommy said then caressed my cheek with her other hand in apology.

“What about you, mommy? Do you know Kim Taeyeon as well?”

“Yes, I did.”

I gaped at her in surprise. I thought she had just heard the name somewhere.

“Really? How?” I asked, eager to learn something new again.

“Well, you see, he—”

Without any warning, a fire in my chest that I didn’t knew I had exploded like a bomb before pelting my heart and lungs with its scattered, burning embers.

Everything came crashing down right after.

All I could manage to do was gasp before I doubled over at the sudden searing heat. Due to the embers warring inside, my heart soon caught on fire. The earth then shook. Without any support, I quickly fell to the floor.

The coolness of the tiles made me hyperaware of the lava that began coursing through my veins. Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe properly. Yet I couldn’t stop groaning at the burning pressure on my chest. That’s when I heard screaming. Ow. The noises pounded on my head. That’s also when I noticed the forceful thumping of my heart, as if it wants to jump out of my ribcage. The pain kept piling up with every beat. What’s going on? I-I’m scared.

As if she heard me, mommy held me in her arms. Her hands were wet when she did until I realized it was drenched by my own sweat.

“Tiffany!”

“Mo-Mommy…”

She was saying something else but all I could focus on was the heat and the pressure that kept on crushing and burning my heart. I began to squirm when I find it harder to breathe, as if someone was blocking my nose and throat. Then, there were other noises as well. But I couldn’t find the energy to know what and who. It was becoming harder to see and hear as well. When I blinked, there were black spots everywhere.

“I-It hurts…”

My whole body suddenly went rigid and I could feel my eyes rolling. Everything blurred and warped, and what is that shining thing?

“Oh god, Tiffany.”

Then, everything went black.

---

“Hey.”

There was a poke…somewhere. I couldn’t exactly tell where.

“Hey.”

I feel a bit numb.

“Hey.”

My head hurts a bit. What was I doing before?

“How long are you going to stay asleep?”

Asleep? Suddenly, in a form of a response, my eyelids fluttered open, where the first thing I saw was my own crossed legs. My whole body felt a bit stiff so I moved around a bit. The hard surface behind me felt like a wall. I guess that means I fell asleep while sitting down with my back pressed against said wall. With that said, where am I? And what was I doing here again?

“Oh good, you’re awake!”

My whole body jumped in surprise! Quickly looking up, I saw a little girl who looked to be as old as me, but her hair was pooling around her like a blanket. The strands were as dark as our lightless surroundings and I would’ve had trouble seeing her if it wasn’t for her incredibly pale skin and the equally white dress she was wearing. She seemed to be trembling with her arms around her stomach as she bent over.

Worried that she was hurt, I quickly crawled over to her, my legs still feeling numb. “Is there something wro—"

She scared me for the second time when she straightened up then exploded into loud laughter! Her voice echoed in the dark room we were in and it was scary for a little bit but I guess happiness is better than feeling pain.

I watched as long strands fell over her face—she really should cut some of her hair—as she squirmed from where she sat, continuing to laugh and trying to stop at the same time. I was waiting for her to calm down, which she did minutes later where her laughter lessened to chuckles then giggles until she was left to catch her breath as she laid on the floor.

“Are you done?” I asked, though I guess she must have sensed something in my tone since she immediately sat up and turned her body to fully face me. When she did, all I could do was stare in amazement.

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. I hope you aren’t mad. Just that, I’ve been here all this time so I got excited when I saw you. I’m sorry for laughing at your face.”

She had gray sapphires for eyes that twinkled like stars when she smiled at me in apology. I’ve seen those stones only once but I could never forget how they look. And the way she stared felt different somehow but it also felt like I’ve looked at that gaze before, I just can’t remember when and where.

“Hey, I’m really sorry if I’ve upset you. Just, please talk to me. No one’s come here before, well except for you. And you might just disappear so let’s talk for a little bit, please?”

I watched as her plead was accompanied by budding tears, causing her eyes to shine even more. When she sniffed, that’s when I realized that she was starting to cry.

“Ah, I’m sorry for zoning out! I wasn’t really mad in the first place!” I said, frantically, so she wouldn’t start sobbing.

“Really?”

I inwardly sighed out of relief when she wiped her tears away and looked at me with a small smile.

“Uh-huh. Your eyes are really pretty and I couldn’t help but stare at them.” I explained as to why I’ve been silent earlier.

I watched as a small blush adorned her cheeks. I couldn’t help but giggle at the cute sight.

“Th-Thank you. Someone used to say the same thing but I couldn’t really remember who. Oh, and I think your hair and eyes look beautiful. And the way you smile as well.”

That made me giggle even more, especially when she looked away in embarrassment. “Thank you for that and you’re welcome. So, what’s your name? I’m Tiffany Hwang.” I asked then held out a hand for her to shake.

“You’re welcome as well. I’m Kim Taeyeon! Nice to meet you, Tiffany!” She replied then clasped her hand with mine.

The moment we touched, a course of electricity flowed from the tips of our fingers to the top of our heads, literally shocking the two of us. We both yelped at the sudden pain before we jumped away from the other, suddenly afraid of getting shocked again. Then, a headache descended on me like a book landing on my head.

I groaned while massaging my temples the way…the way…huh? What was I thinking again? Suddenly, there was a flash of light, followed by an image pasting itself in front of my eyes accompanied by noises yelling into my ears. There was so much happening all at once that I felt like I was drowning, before I realized that there really was something deep into my throat. I squirmed, wanting to take it off but I couldn’t move my arms and legs the way I wanted them to. I think I was being hold down.

The thing in my throat moved even deeper, the pain causing me to tear up. I couldn’t breathe altogether anymore. I started flailing again, panicking, only to feel the same restraints. This time the hold was firmer that kept me latched on the surface I was laying on. Someone continued with the shouting. Please, make it all stop!

As if I was heard, air rushed into my lungs like I broke a dam. With relief flooding me the same way air was, I managed to open my eyes a bit but only to be surprised by the sharp, bright light raining down on me. I quickly leaned my head to the side to escape it, but only to stare at a pair of narrowed blue eyes looking back at me in determination. Those blue eyes widened for a second before softening. I then felt a hand caress my cheek. Doctor Han?

The noises around me then started to make sense, bit by bit, but the words they used was too big for me.

“…body…stabilizing. Not yet…cardiac…morbid way…saying…needs…rest. But…nothing…results…wrong…fine. Why…”

I was momentarily distracted by the tender caresses feathered on my cheeks by the same hand that it lulled me to sleep. Again, darkness pulled me in.

---

“Tiffany?”

I know that voice. I felt my eyelids flutter again, feeling Déjà vu, and sure enough I was staring right at gray sapphires that looked back at me with concern.

“Hi…Taeyeon.” I greeted, feeling a bit weak at first. What fully woke me up though was Taeyeon who tackled me to the floor. It’s a good thing I wasn’t laying on the wall again or that might have hurt really badly. “Hello to you too.” I coughed.

“I thought you were going to disappear!” She exclaimed, suddenly, which took me by surprise until I realized that she was crying. Oh no! What should I do to console her? Uhm…uhm…uhmmmmm.

“Well, I’m here now and I don’t think I’m going anywhere soon, not like I actually know how to leave this place, so please stop crying. I don’t really like seeing you cry.” I pleaded while trying to console her somehow. I rubbed her back and patted her head, thinking she would like it if I did.

To my relief, she got off of me while sobbing a bit as she rubbed her eyes, trying to stop herself from crying. “You don’t?”

“Yeah. It makes me feel sad too, like having something heavy in my heart, and we can’t be crying at the same time.”

“Why is that?” She asked with a small hiccup.

There’s really something about her eyes that kept poking at my brain. I just really can’t figure out what. Ah, right. She asked a question. “Well, if we’re both crying then who’s going to console the two of us, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” She agreed with a chuckle. She then wiped the last of her tears before beaming a smile, a dimple by her chin appearing when she did. I couldn’t help but poke it. “What are you poking at?”

“Your dimple.”

“Someone used to do the same, but, again, I can’t remember who.” She replied with a thoughtful look. I took that moment to look at my surroundings, suddenly curious.

I was wrong when I’d said that Taeyeon and I were in a lightless room. We weren’t. Instead, we seem to be in space because sprinkled all around us were countless stars that danced like glitters. They look to be dots from where I was but I just knew they were stars, which was weird because it seems that’s all I actually know, aside from my name and Taeyeon’s. I can’t even remember why I’ve fallen asleep when I know I’ve just woken up.

“Fany, are you okay?” Taeyeon asked, which brought me back to the present.

“What do you mean?” I asked back. At that, Taeyeon seemed confused.

“You were in pain earlier, remember? Right after we shook hands, you started complaining about a headache. Then, you fell asleep all of the sudden.” Taeyeon re-told the earlier events that seemed to have escaped my memory. She then put one of her small hands on the back of my head where I actually felt a dull throb. Now, it was my turn to get confused. There’s no way she would lie. So, how could I forget something like that? Still, even if she’d told me, nothing really comes to my mind. There’s just a blank space with Taeyeon and the stars in it.

“But you are okay, right?”

I snapped out of my thoughts to nod. But Taeyeon still looked worried.

“I’m fine, Tae-Tae, really.” I told her as firm as I could so she’ll believe me. It seems like she did when she smiled again.

“Okay. So, what’s with ‘Tae-Tae?’”

That made me giggle before I answered with a shrug. “Well, you called me ‘Fany’ earlier so I thought it’s only fair that I give you a nickname as well.” At my answer, Taeyeon then looked curious with a dash of eagerness in her gray eyes that looked to always be gleaming with life.

“What’s a nickname?”

Suddenly, I heard a voice echo in my mind.

“Your eagerness to learn just reminded me of someone I used to be close with.”

How…familiar.

“Fany, Fany, come on. What’s a nickname?”

When I looked back at Taeyeon to answer her question, for some reason that came from nowhere, I expected to see a pair of dark brown eyes. But, Taeyeon’s eyes are a light gray. Why would it be brown? This is getting confusing. I stared harder, confused at my own expectation. And that’s when I saw the dark bags under her eyes. Surprised, I backed away for a bit to take a clearer look at her. That’s when I realized it.

Taeyeon looked really tired. She was also thin and tiny, even for her age. I should’ve noticed with her skin before but it perfectly matched her dark, dark hair so I thought it was normal. But it actually wasn’t. Her shoulders hunched and her lips were pale as well. The only healthy sign of life she has were her eyes and hair, but even those was starting to get tainted by her sickness. The bags seemed to darken by the second while the ends of her hair were dry and lifeless. Then, there was her scar. The patch of skin from the very back of her left hand up to half of her forearm was darker than the rest that looked ridged and wrinkled but had healed as much as it could, as if it was mangled by fire. Under the light given by the stars, the scar looked to have a glossy sheen over it. And she wasn’t wearing a white dress. It was a hospital gown. Wait, how did I know it was a hospital gown? What’s a hospital gown again? Huh? What was I talking about? Right, Taeyeon.

Taeyeon.

Was something slowly devouring her?

I have never seen someone look as frail as she did.

I must have been frowning since her excitement immediately disappeared. She frowned as well and I might’ve mistaken her to be angry if it wasn’t for the worry her gaze never failed to carry.

“Fany? Are you okay?”

I blinked at her question.

“Why are you asking me that? You’re the one with a scar! Are you okay?” I asked back with force. I regretted it immediately when Taeyeon backed away, as if I had threatened to hit her. I quickly held on to her hand and instantly felt bad when she flinched. “Tae-Tae, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you or anything. I’m just worried. You look really sick and you have that scar. What happened?”

To my relief, Taeyeon visibly relaxed before scooting back closer to me. I didn’t let go of her hand though and it seems like she didn’t want to as well since she tightened her own grip.

“All I know was that there was fire and a falling post. Then, I just opened my eyes and found myself here. The scar was also already there. There was no one else. Just me. When I got bored, I tried to go to a different place but no matter how much I’ve walked, it felt like I was stuck in the same place; here. I don’t even know how long it’s been. All I know is I’m here, and nothing else. Then, there were times where I felt really tired, even though I was just sitting around, so I’d just close my eyes and get some sleep. But no matter how much I did, the tiredness never went away,” Taeyeon paused for a second to rub at her eyes as if she was being reminded, “and sometimes, I feel even more tired every time I do close my eyes. But there was one instance where I felt really, really tired and I guess I just fell asleep. My sleep felt longer than usual, I don’t know how I could tell, it just felt like it, but when I opened my eyes again, I found you. You were sitting there and you were asleep. I was really happy, you know, to have a friend to share this big space with.” Taeyeon then gave me a wide smile where her gaze gave me some warmth that I didn’t know I needed until she gave me some. And there must have been something sad in her smile because I felt my heart break in two.

The sadness was suffocating and I couldn’t begin to imagine how she must’ve felt the first time she realized she was all alone in this empty place. Suddenly, I badly wanted to tell her that I’m here now and that she wouldn’t feel alone again, but I somehow knew that words wouldn’t be enough. And so, I did the other thing I know I could do for her, which was give her a hug. She was surprised, of course, but she instantly hugged me back.

“F-Fany?”

I was actually surprised to find that her skin was warm and not as cold as I had expected, which was good.

“I wish I’ve come here sooner. You must’ve been really lonely.” I whispered to her. She didn’t say anything in reply. She just silently hugged me tighter then cried.

---

“Tag, you’re it!”

“Wha-Fany! That’s not fair! I wasn’t ready yet!”

I laughed as she threw a mini tantrum.

“All is fair in war and war! Come on, Tae-Tae! You’re it!” I shouted at her as I begin to run.

“Why you! Come back here!” She shouted back as she began to chase after me. I squealed before running faster.

It’s been a while since Tae-Tae cried on my shoulder and just as long when we started to play a game of tag. We would’ve played hide-and-seek but there really was no place to hide. We’ve also played countless other games like rock, paper, and scissors, the adding game, the pizza game and the looking game. Tae-Tae’s good at games where she would win most of them even on her first try! But, I’m just happy that she’s happy. In fact, whenever she laughs, the weight on my heart would lift.

“Gotcha! Now, you’re it, Fany!” Tae-Tae exclaimed before running away from me. Her laughter always echoes here, and just as I expected, another batch of warmth soothed my heart. It seems like whatever she does, I always receive some warmth.

“I’m giving you three seconds to run!” I told her as I sat down, breathless. Actually, I’ve been feeling tired since we started playing tag, but Tae-Tae looked so happy that I couldn’t bring myself to rest, even for a quick second.

So, this is what she’s talking about. Both my head and body feel heavy, and I badly want to sleep. I stared at the distance and saw Taeyeon running back to me. Ah, oh no, she looks worried again. I still couldn’t understand how she could have so much care and happiness stored in her tiny body.

“Yah, if you’re tired, you should’ve said so.” She lightly scolded before sitting in front of me like always.

“But I wanted to make you happy.” I replied. At that, she flicked my nose which made me whine. “Hey!”

“You already did. Besides, we could play later! Just rest for now. It’s not like I’m going anywhere else too.” She remarked then laughed. Again, warmth coursed through me, but this time it felt a bit warmer. It felt really nice.

I wanted to say something back but I guess I didn’t realize just how tired I really was. All I could do was nod before my eyelids closed on their own. Slowly, the darkness evaded my consciousness where I felt my whole body fully relax.

“W-Wait, Fany? You’re—”

Hmmm, Tae-Tae? Just give me a few more minutes.

“No wait! But you just said—No! Fany!”

I’m still tired, Tae-Tae. Just a bit more, okay?

“I—no, no, no! But—you can’t! Fany, please! What about me? Stay! No! Don’t go! Fany!”

Huh?

---

Tae-Tae!

Despite the sense of urgency that I felt, my eyelids slowly opened as if it was an ordinary morning. Well, it’s not! Something’s wrong with Tae-Tae! What happened to her? What happened to me? Why am I back here? She’s all alone in that empty space!

Suddenly, there was a loud sound that hurt my head. Still, I tried to look around but my head felt as heavy as a stone as all I could look at was the ceiling. Then, a person’s face appeared in my line of vision; red hair and brown eyes. It’s not Tae-Tae, but she looks familiar. Mommy? She looks to be saying something but my ears kept on ringing.

Then, a large hand caressed my cheek. To my surprise, the hand was actually wiping my tears. I didn’t even know I was crying. Why? I don’t feel…actually, I do feel sad. I felt like someone had punched me, but to the heart. It wasn’t just sadness anymore. Something more, something that made the pain feel deeper. Whatever the emotion was, I felt it twice as much, as if I have two hearts instead of one beating inside my chest.

A deep rumble distracted me from the longing I was suddenly feeling and saw that the hand belongs to another person with blonde hair and blue eyes. This is…is…daddy? Yeah, that’s right. He also seemed to be saying something but I felt like half of my head is still emerged underwater. The thought, however, reminded me of my tears again that still won’t stop. Is Tae-Tae crying too?

For a reason I couldn’t explain, the thought of Taeyeon crying all alone in that space deeply disturbed me, where a sense of urgency rose from my heart and beginning to smother me. I started to become frantic and panicked. I have to…I have to console her! Now! I—I don’t know where she is or how I’ll get there but my mind is starting to scream at me! And I can’t bear the fact that I’m doing nothing!

As my sense of urgency continued to grow, my body began to respond. I soon realized I couldn’t properly move my legs. At that realization, the screaming and the urgency, everything morphed into irritation. I began to jerk my body around, forcing my legs to cooperate. There was somewhere deep into my chest that was protesting, yelling no again and again but I didn’t stop as I continued to jerk around. Every teardrop that fell from my eyes fanned this need until my thoughts focused into a single one.

Tae-Tae. Tae-Tae. Tae-Tae. Tae-Tae. Tae-Tae. Tae-Tae.

Suddenly, I felt hands holding down my arms and legs. No, no, no! I have to—Taeyeon, she—

Blue eyes looked straight at me. The gaze held a plead and I know something was being said but I still couldn’t understand them. All of it was just garbled voices that meshed together. Those blue eyes must have noticed that I couldn’t hear them properly since I was given a gentle touch followed by a soft caress on my cheeks. The touch was warm. Then, everything came into focus.

“Shh, you’re alright.”

Doctor Han?

“Relax, Tiffany. Breathe for me.”

When I inhaled as deep as I could, that was when I realized I was panting with my heart running a mile a minute. And it hurt with every beat. Was my chest bruised in the inside?

“That’s good. Everything’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

I wanted to shake my head because everything is not okay but the warmth her touch gave soothed my mind until the urgency lessened. But it was still there, incessantly knocking on my mind. I have to see her. But all I could do was move my lips.

To my surprise, Doctor Han noticed my efforts despite the plastic covering my mouth. She leaned closer with her ear near my lips. Mustering some strength, I ignored the dry, swollen pain in my throat and verbally voiced the form my urgency had taken, “Tae…yeon…”

It was Doctor Han’s turn to be surprised as I saw her freeze from her position. Then, slowly she straightened up with her eyes trained on me, and I continued to stare at her, sending her my own plead even though I know she wouldn’t be able to understand. But I have to do something!

Then, Doctor Han’s gaze changed into something…something that showed familiarity. It was as if she did understand. Did she?

In response to my non-verbal question, Doctor Han leaned down again with her lips near one of my ears this time. “Taeng’s alright now. She…isn’t sad anymore.”

And then, the knocking stopped. Everything washed away as if the storm had finally passed and the ocean waves began to calmly lap at the rolling sand. A soft sigh managed to escape my lips before the moon gradually rose from the ocean’s depths and hung stars on the empty sky.

---

There was a tug and I immediately tugged back. Then, there was another. My hand continued to move even though the rest of me was still deep into sleep. One particularly hard tug however caused my eyelids to flutter again. With a soft groan, and after my finger tugged back, I slowly moved my head to the right to see who was waking me up. I didn’t notice that my rainbow string was the one getting tugged at until it was too late.

By the time I noticed that it was dark outside, that mommy was sleeping on the sofa, that daddy was holding my right hand as he slept, that Nathaniel had dropped his coffee cup, that there was another patient laying on a bed beside me, and that said patient was awake, I was already staring at a pair of gray sapphires that seemed to shine under the dull lighting of the room. Then came the tears.

Ah, I realized with a sob, I’m it.