~ In which, for a reason most people don’t know, Taeyeon is someone that must be protected at all times ~

This is not how we expected our Saturday night to go.

What we did expect are videogames, pizza, and the release of pent-up stress that will surely, definitely, turn into a stupid-induced mess that Juhyun has to clean up because the foundation of our close, tight-knit, I-will-die-for-you friendship is mutual abnormal-ness plus an angel who probably came to watch over us honestly speaking.

But noooooooo. Taeyeon had other plans.

Our Saturday night went like this:

Taeyeon was the last one home even though she said she doesn’t have any plans for today and that the rest of us were the ones that had important matters to attend to; I had to babysit the kids of my sick older sister, Hyoyeon left the dorm when the sun isn’t out yet to go home and visit her parents because it’s been so long and they missed each other, Sooyoung went on a long, overdue date with her boyfriend since both of them had to focus on their midterms ( exams! Just kidding, need to pass), and Juhyun, our ever-loving angel, participated in a day-long program that has something to do with the needy and the poor. She makes us feel like we’re dirty sinners whenever she just stands beside us.

When the door opened, we heard voices. Voices. Someone, besides Taeyeon, is coming in. And while that usually won’t be problematic, the clock said it’s already ten minutes before 10 p.m. Who comes to other people’s dorms at 9-freaking-50 p.m.?! We only have acquaintances outside of our circle of friends! That means classmates come over for school-reasons, parents visit to make sure we’re still alive, and the Head Honcho (a.k.a. the Dorm Manager) checks in to make sure the dorm is still intact and not crawling with anything illegal or, worse, pests.

Imagine our confusion!

Imagine our horror when Taeyeon finally came inside with a stranger—okay, with a pretty stranger while holding hands, no less! Why are they holding hands?! Why is this such a big deal, someone might ask. Well someone, let me let you in on a teensy, tiny bit about Taeyeon…TAEYEON HATES PHYSICAL CONTACT...unless you’re one of her special people. And getting someone like Taeyeon, whose brain is wired differently than others, even than us, to be comfortable around you, well, that’s a feat comparable to running to the top of Mt. Everest, getting a handful of snow, then running back home without letting said snow to melt from your gloved hands so you could put it in a jar that you forgot to take with you on your hike; it’s not impossible, just impossibly hard.

Us four are one of Taeyeon’s few special people: She and I are childhood friends. Sooyoung never lies. Hyoyeon is very open-minded. And she adores Juhyun both for the girl’s unbending moral compass and vast intelligence. Plus, we all stay true to ourselves despite what others had said to us in the past, or, at least, that’s according to Taeyeon.

Ehem. Anyway!

What came next was a bomb of an introduction, not because it went horrible since even if Taeyeon at social interaction, she could handle saying a name and a relation, but because the introduction itself was the bomb!

Let me elaborate:

“Guys, this is Tiffany Hwang, my girlfriend,” Taeyeon said, sounding so casual if it wasn’t for the prominent blush and the beaming smile, all the while waving her hand to pretty stranger’s—err, Tiffany Hwang’s direction.

Speaking of, Tiffany Hwang was only a few inches taller than Taeyeon with long, platinum-blonde hair she tied into a low ponytail and matching fair skin. In contrast, her eyes are a dark shade of brown, like melted chocolate.

“Good evening! Sorry for intruding so late though, but Taeyeon insisted that it’s fine. Uhm, it’s nice to meet all of you!” Tiffany Hwang greeted cheerfully.

And husky. Tiffany Hwang has a husky voice, my mind automatically added even though my whole being is every bit panicking and confused and shrieking. To the ones outside though, I look fine and calm while I watch her bow with her right hand still in Taeyeon’s grip.

Worst, Taeyeon gave us no time to take in the news.

“So, these dorks are my best friends. That’s Sunny, my bestest best friend,” she pointed at me first because privilege, and I would have squeaked out a ‘hi’ if everything settled in but it didn’t so on to the next person, “then, that’s Sooyoung,” she continued with the pointing.

“'Sharing is caring’, right?” Tiffany Hwang said, reciting Sooyoung’s motto, where we would have been surprised if we weren’t already. Taeyeon beamed so brightly though, looking extremely happy and proud at the same time, so she ended up looking like an energetic puppy with golden fur.

“Yeah, that’s right,” she affirmed with a wide smile before flapping her pointing hand.

My mind went into autopilot again.

The moment Tiffany Hwang saw the flapping hand, I stared! Stared long and hard at her reaction because there had been so many reactions, so many I could create a museum, that is if I knew anything about art though. But, instead of ignoring it or frowning at it or looking downright disturbed and confused by it, she had this ‘oh’ look that I only saw on my best friends when they were getting to know Taeyeon; a look that meant they understood.

Huh.

That’s a first in a long while since Sooyoung and the others had gotten to know Taeyeon back in the first year of high school. We’re now on our second to the last year of college, well except Taeyeon and Juhyun since they have two more years, with them studying to be engineers (big brains).

“That’s Hyoyeon but you probably already know that since she’s the face of the University’s dancing competition,” Taeyeon continued with a wider smile and even still, Hyoyeon wasn’t able to say anything else, “and that’s Seohyun. She’s our youngest.”

With Juhyun being Juhyun, she managed to recover from her shock long enough to stand up and walk towards the pair to shake Tiffany Hwang’s hand, “Good evening. I’m not familiar with you yet so I don’t know if it’s nice to meet you, but good evening either way.”

Ah, gotta love Juhyun’s bluntness.

“Good evening to you too, Seohyun-ssi,” Tiffany Hwang greeted back, still with the same smile, looking not at all surprised by Juhyun’s greeting nor offended in any way at the lack of greeting from the rest of us. That, or she’s good at hiding. Then again, if she is, she wouldn’t be here, holding Taeyeon’s hand and being introduced to us. After all, my bestest best friend is wickedly good at finding the right kind of people.

“Oh, please, just call me Seohyun. You’re Taeyeon-unnie’s girlfriend and not some acquaintance, which also means I’d be seeing you here more often after tonight,” Juhyun concluded. And by doing so, the reality that Taeyeon truly has a real, breathing, beautiful girlfriend finally settled in.

“…”

Holy .

This Taeyeon we’re talking about is the same insomniac Taeyeon who’s passionate about toys and puzzles all the while obsessing over Great White sharks, the same Taeyeon who makes weird, nonsensical vocalizations whenever she’s bored, and the same Taeyeon who shuts down now and then.

“…”

What the ?

“…”

“GIRLFRIEND?!”

The only reply we got from Taeyeon was a flinch and a cry of pain.

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And now we’re here. The new couple—is it even new? Were they together for a long time now and I just didn’t know? How come I didn’t notice anything? Am I a bad bestest best friend?—is sitting on the main couch, which is the one facing the large television. Taeyeon was grumbling and pouting, now in a foul mood, while Tiffany Hwang (girlfriend?!) gently rubbed the girl’s ears, following Taeyeon’s instructions since my bestest best friend always has her way of doing everything. Sitting on the couches beside the main couch is us; Sooyoung’s sitting beside me while Hyoyeon and Juhyun’s at the other side, though Juhyun, as always, had taken the liberty to get some drinks to calm us all down, to calm me down.

“What would you guys like to drink?” the Angel asks.

“Juice,” the five of us, including Taeyeon, chimed in. One look at Taeyeon’s pale, dry lips though made me decide that—

“No, Taeyeon. You can’t have juice, you’re almost dehydrated remember?” Tiffany Hwang reminded. More like, steal my line.

Taeyeon her lips at the reminder, “Oh yeah. Welp, water for me, Juhyun-ah, and juice for Tiffany too.”

Hmmm…no nicknames yet. They’ve probably gotten together not too long ago, or maybe they have and is still adjusting. Ugh, this is Taeyeon though! Normal, conventional means don’t apply to her damn it! The only way to get answers from her is to ask.

“Does it still hurt?” Tiffany Hwang asked, still massaging Taeyeon’s ears. I couldn’t help but squint at them.

“At first. Now, not so much. I just don’t like being yelled at,” Taeyeon grumbled, a frown still on her face but was enjoying the massage. This little not-saying-she’s-in-a-relationship .

“How much does it hurt exactly?”

I gotta admit though. At least, Taeyeon has some good taste in women unless she hasn’t told Tiffany Hwang the truth, that is.

“Depends. Sometimes, it’s like when a microphone is dropped, or when the microphone gets too close to the speakers. Then there’ll be ringing after. Sometimes, it’s like getting bitten by an ant, painful but fast. There’d be some throbbing but it goes away soon,” Taeyeon explained, to which Tiffany Hwang replied with another ‘oh’ look on her pretty face.

What makes this woman special anyway, so special she became Taeyeon’s girlfriend?

“Unnies, you didn’t have to shout,” Juhyun scolded when she got back, holding a plate stacked with glasses.

None of us have an excuse for that so we were all silent for a while; distributing the glasses, Taeyeon telling Tiffany Hwang that her ears are alright now, then sipping our juices/water.

The only problem is that Taeyeon was still frowning, and that is never a good sign. Her obvious bad mood only fanned the flames of silence and now we don’t know how to start.

At that thought, I glanced at Tiffany Hwang, wanting to see how she’s reacting to this kind of situation because this is not the last time it’ll happen. So, glanced I did.

Well, I expected awkwardness. I expected confusion. I expected meekness. I expected embarrassment. I expected done-with-this-. I expected a forced smile most of all.

Except, Tiffany Hwang was genuinely, truly, sincerely concerned for Taeyeon. And that struck me in a weird way ‘cuz the only people I know who could reach that level of sincerity and exude that raw sense of genuineness is Hyoyeon, Juhyun, and Taeyeon herself; they’re so sincere and so genuine it hurts. It’s the same as them not giving any about curving their words if you’re asking them for answers. Kinda like, the truth hurts but they hurt you with reality or something along those lines.

“So?” Taeyeon breathed out, hands holding her glass, with her posture gradually slacking as she begins to drape herself on the couch.

Not good! Not good!

“They’re sorry for yelling, Taeyeon-unnie,” Juhyun started, apologizing on our behalf even though I wasn’t. Okay, I am, a little bit, but come on, if your bestest best friend who never showed romantic interest in other people other than the usual  ‘he’s cute, I guess? I don’t know, I’m dumb with men’ or ‘she’s pretty’ suddenly revealed that she’s in a relationship, wouldn’t you yell in surprise too?

Anyway, we all simply nodded in reply since we still don’t know what to say or where to start. And this seems to further annoy Taeyeon.

With a loud, long exhale, Taeyeon further sank to the couch, looking the exact opposite from when she came home, “Well?”

The four of us exchanged glances. We took that as a cue to cut this meeting short. An annoyed, frowning Taeyeon is a big no-no! But when she gets listless? Might as well call it a day or, in this case, night. Both sides just get attacked.

“We’ll continue this tomorrow, Taeng,” I concluded. I then stood up, swiftly took her glass of water, and proceeded to the kitchen to give her no chance to protest.

I heard some shuffling right after so I assumed that Taeyeon’s following my orders and is preparing to send Tiffany Hwang off.

With that thought, I steeled myself into explaining what the hell just happened out there to Tiffany Hwang. The girl deserves at least this much even if I don’t trust her; that doesn’t mean I don’t trust Taeyeon’s judgment though.

True enough, when I passed the door-less doorway of our kitchen, the couple had now stood up with Tiffany wearing her backpack while seemingly whispering something to Taeyeon, who now looks exhausted. She’s probably confused on why Taeyeon’s unresponsive, judging from her small frown.

I didn’t bother to think more about that though as I call out to Tiffany Hwang while motioning for her to come closer.

Tiffany Hwang wordlessly followed my call, walking towards the kitchen but Taeyeon frowned deeply at that before grabbing her girlfriend’s backpack to stop her.

“Taeyeon-ah?” Tiffany Hwang asked, confused. I was too. Usually, when Taeyeon begins to become unresponsive, she stops giving care to everything and everyone since she’s either too exhausted or too overwhelmed to do so. And yet…

Taeyeon muttered something under her breath, probably just a word. She squirmed right after then flapped both of her hands. O…kay. That’s new. What the hell?

Tiffany Hwang seemed to understand though. What the ?

“I’m just going to talk to your bestest best friend, Sunny, first then we’ll do just that, alright?” Tiffany Hwang amended. Okay, where the hell did she learn that?

Anyway, Taeyeon seemed appeased enough to let go of her girlfriend. To her credit, Tiffany Hwang quickly joined me in the kitchen.

“Hello, Sunny-ssi. Sorry ‘bout that. So, what did you want to talk about?” Tiffany Hwang started. Wow, does this girl ever stop smiling?

“Look. I don’t trust you for reasons you either already know, or about to know, or don’t know. Bottom-line is I don’t trust you because that’s my bestest best friend you’re in a relationship in, and Kim Taeyeon is not your usual pretty lesbian. She’s—”

“Her brain’s wired differently, yeah I know.”

I stared at her, bug-eyed, in complete surprise. How did she know? Did Taeyeon told her or—

“I’m the one who asked her out and I kinda observed her long before that, as creepy as that sounds. I’ve seen some of her mannerisms and the routines she does along with what behavior she repeats. There’s so much I’ve yet to learn though. Taeyeon’s taking her time to tell me, by the way, since she has trouble expressing herself when it doesn’t involve logic or structure.”

I knew that.

Amazingly, she knows that too.

Tiffany Hwang smiled at me again right after before peeking at Taeyeon through the doorway. I did the same and saw Taeyeon sitting on the floor, rocking side-to-side while staring right at us, well right at Tiffany Hwang, while she waits. She’s still wearing a look of impassivity but it’s undeniable that her eyes shone brighter when the two of them locked gazes.

Taeyeon seems to take that as a cue that Tiffany Hwang and I are done talking. She began to stand up but Tiffany Hwang gestured for her to wait a bit more. Taeyeon pouted but she planted her right back on the floor before resuming her rocking, but back-and-forth this time.

“So, you know and understand why we suddenly cut our first meeting off? And why we’re pushing Taeyeon to go and rest?” I asked since if I didn’t, I’d be left speechless. No one from the outside has come this far.

“Well, I understand that rest and sleeps helps her brain regulate but I haven’t exactly understood when’s that necessary. Back then, I’d just notice that she’ll go to sleep whenever and wherever,” she answered, looking and sounding truthful. Oh, thank god. I thought she knows everything. I’d feel ty and useless if she does since if she knows even that then means they have been together for so long and I just didn’t notice it, which is a definite, big no-no when your title is ‘bestest best friend’.

“Okay, well, letting Taeyeon simmer in her annoyance just pushes her nearer and nearer to a shutdown. But when she suddenly loses her enthusiasm and becomes listless, it’s better to let her rest so her brain could lessen the stimuli it had received for the day. Wait, you know what’s a shutdown, right?”

I don’t know what to feel when she nodded so I simply ended our talk there.

“Thank you very much for explaining intimate details about Taeyeon to me even though you don’t trust me, Sunny-ssi.”

“Just call me Sunny. You became Taeyeon’s girlfriend for a reason.”

At that, she beamed so brightly that I thought I was going to go blind! Was she the Sun in her previous life or something?

Now, I see a reason why Taeyeon became attracted to her on a physical level. Tiffany Hwang is beautiful with crescents for eyes that comes out when she smiles so wide.

“I’d do my best to earn your trust, Sunny. And please, just call me Tiffany.”

With that, the girl turned around to exit the kitchen.

“Huh. So that’s why,” she muttered under her breath as she left. I was too mentally exhausted to give that much thought. I’d do that in the morning.

I watched Taeyeon bounce to her feet like a puppy who missed her owner; a puppy whose face is still that of indifference. Still, it wasn’t that hard to notice that Taeyeon’s excited with the way she’s tugging her girlfriend towards her bedroom.

Wait a minute.

“Taeng? Where are you guys going? Isn’t it time for her to leave?” I asked, holding on to the door frame so I wouldn’t faint and drop to the floor. She didn’t bother to answer me though and just continued on her way.

“Taeyeon, she asked you a question,” Tiffany lightly scolded then tugged the arm Taeyeon was holding on to stop the smaller girl’s advances.

Taeyeon was visibly annoyed at being stopped, well visibly annoyed at me.

Instead of verbally answering me, she proceeded into going through a series of motions.

First, she exhaled loudly through her nose, dug through her backpack, then pulled out her blue, palm-sized notebook from one of the many pockets of her bag. She properly wore her backpack again and prepared to throw the notebook at me. Naturally, I took a stance to catch it but Tiffany was having none of that.

“Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon flinched, pouted, then huffed. She firmly pointed at me, probably saying it’s my fault, before begrudgingly letting go of her girlfriend to walk towards me. As she walked towards my direction, she began to flip through her notebook before she stopped at a certain page.

Note to self, need to buy a new blue notebook soon.

I quickly took the notebook from her and began to read. I quickly scanned it since Taeyeon, at this point, and at her state, doesn’t like to wait.

“…! Seriously?” I asked her. Taeyeon rolled her eyes in reply. She’s serious. Oh my god.

“And she’s okay with following all of these?” I asked again, incredulous.

Taeyeon grunted, looking more annoyed, then began to tap a steady beat on her right thigh.

But come on! If we push Taeyeon to rest once we deem that her brain needs to regulate, we stay out of her way during the morning to avoid setting her off since there’s a lot of things in the morning that overwhelms Taeyeon. We only know it’s okay the moment she gets all hyper with us. That or she initiates physical contact. Until then, we duck for cover.

Taeyeon and mornings were just never meant to be.

So for her to readily accept another person on her bed and for said person to be okay to comply with all her terms…well, . Tiffany Hwang, just what the hell are you?

When Taeyeon finally couldn’t take it anymore, she started making long, monotonous sounds from —the same sounds a person makes when they slept well and are stretching.

Still, this is Taeyeon. As I’ve said before, she always has a way to do everything.

“Alright, alright. Geez, fine. You’ve both talked about it. Just, no funny business alright?”

Taeyeon simply snatched her notebook from me then went right back to Tiffany’s side to start tugging at her arm again.

I could only watch them with a sense of helplessness.

I still can’t believe Taeyeon has a girlfriend though. A girlfriend who understands that Taeyeon’s not normal and isn’t even trying to make my bestest best friend the least bit normal. Someone loves Taeyeon for who she is, quirks and shutdowns and all that.

Life’s so mysterious.

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Taeyeon’s bedroom is made of four walls painted a royal blue. She had put up some posters ranging from Great White Sharks, some drawings she had made, a poster of Naberal Gamma from Overlord, and to a small space where a whiteboard is hanging from a protruding nail. Taking a closer look, it seems like she had solved a math problem involving Laplace Transform.

She told me before that their Head Honcho gave her exclusive rights to put up whatever she wants after she confessed that she’s getting anxious about the new room. That was around when she’s a freshman in Uni. How cute she must have been back then!

I mean, she’s still very adorable right now but a clueless, naive Taeyeon is like a chipmunk you find at a park. So cute~

A pair of slim arms around my waist from behind followed by a grunt snapped me back to the present though. With another tug and grunt from her, we both fell back on her equally blue bed. As she makes herself comfortable by nuzzling the back of my shoulder through my t-shirt, I took a tentative touch of her bed.

Sure enough, her bed was as soft as a cloud and as smooth as a baby’s skin. No wonder she told me her bedroom is her haven.

“Are you alright with physical contact now?” I asked her in a whisper since I don’t know how I should move yet, though I know when she wants quiet. She answered with a shake of her head.

“Got it,” I affirmed before carefully taking my pink, palm-sized notebook and a pen from a hidden pocket on the inside of my bag. I felt her flinch away before I heard her wince when I opened my bag. It’s probably because of the noise of the zipper.

“Sorry,” I apologized but she was quick to going back into hugging me before I felt her shake her head.

“Okay, so I’ve set my alarm to 9 a.m.,” I started, still whispering, as I check the list she had written for me. Taeyeon hummed, rubbing her nose to my shoulder now. I couldn’t help but giggle at the ticklish sensation. That seemed to make her happy where she giggled along with me. Huh, I thought she wouldn’t be affectionate with me when she’s in a foul mood.

“After waking up, we wash our face and brush our teeth. I’ve brought along everything I need for that so check. Then, breakfast. After that, we go and start on our project. If there’s time left, we could go and buy that toy you wanted. It sounds right to me. How about you? Just nod or shake your head,” I instructed, not wanting her to push herself for my sake.

“Your book,” she squeezed out before wincing in pain, probably at how the sound bounced in her silent bedroom before echoing in her ears. I still don’t understand why she only feels pain when it’s her who’s talking, or whispering at this point.

“Don’t force yourself if you don’t want to talk, but thank you. Come on, let’s rest for a bit then do our nightly routines,” I said then closed my notebook. She gestured for me to put it on the bedside table, to which I did. Now, Taeyeon was more than eager to start her routine.

She gestured for both of us to lay down and close our eyes. According to her, she either waits for five minutes or she listens to a song. For tonight, I heard the beginning of Requiem from Dear Evan Hansen playing from her phone.

So we laid there and rested.

Huh, it’s true. This is relaxing, even if the song is sad in context.

When the song ended, I carefully sat up, not wanting to make too much unnecessary noise.

Taeyeon went ahead to wash her face and to brush her teeth. When the bathroom door closed with a soft, almost inaudible click, I quickly pulled out parts of my skincare from my bag, my toothbrush, and my phone toothpaste since the sound of zipping from the zipper is really loud in a room so quiet.

What I don’t know yet is what exactly my girlfriend considers as ‘out of bounds’, so I’m trying to play it safe especially since this is the first time we’re going to sleep on the same bed brought by our programming project.

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When I came out of the bathroom, Taeyeon was wearing a cotton t-shirt and purple jersey shorts that stop before her knees. She was sitting on the floor with the same look of impassivity, probably staring at the bathroom door, and was rocking side-to-side. She stopped when I came out though.

I wanted to ask why she was sitting on the floor and not on her bed as she waited but Taeyeon’s eyes were beginning to droop, so I simply chose to ask about it in the morning.

I watched her stand up before she went to a side of her bed. She then gave the mattress three pats, all the while giving me a small, closed-lip smile. Yup, that’s my side of the bed, for now.

God, she’s adorable.

When I turned off the lights, I heard Taeyeon sigh in relief. We then settled ourselves on the bed before I began to recite in the same whisper of what she had written on her blue notebook for me to follow, “Okay, no touching while we sleep. I have to wrap myself around my blanket, so if we even touch there’s no physical contact,” I paused to do just that, “don’t open the lights in the morning, don’t pull your blanket down from your face even if I think you’re suffocating, no touching in the morning, no noise when waking up, all blue in this dorm is yours, no burrowing of your sleepers either, and, no matter what, no taking your big pillow. Did I get it all?”

I managed to see Taeyeon nod in this darkness. I quietly sigh in relief. Now, all that’s left is sleeping then following everything I’ve just recited. Hopefully, I’d remember them. Then again, I am a morning person.

With that out of the way, we finally settled and I quickly found a good position to sleep in. It’s not that hard since Taeyeon’s bed is pretty much a cloud at this point.

“Goodnight, Taeyeon,” I murmured. She patted my blanket-covered thigh thrice as her way of returning the words before laying on her side with her body facing me. She then rummaged around a bit. It’s quite dark to accurately tell anything at this point unless I feel it.

The slight rocking motions though made me sleepy and so I gave in.

The last thing I saw is of Taeyeon draping a big pillow over her side before laying still. She’s probably beginning to drift off. Then, I fell asleep.

I wonder what tomorrow is going to bring.