MYUNGSOO'S POV

She stared straight into my eyes with eyes that looked confused to what I just said. I really need to straight out my priorities. 

"Myungsoo, it's not a big deal, you know. A year is nothing and it will end well if we do this well. You don't need to be conscious of me or anything. Don't worry, you can do whatever you like but just not a bad impression to the media. You can do this, it's okay.", she said after a moment of analysing my words.

It is NOT okay. I don't know why I am feeling this either. Just as she said, everything will go by in a flash if we manage to stand straight for a year...but something is still bugging me. Somethings tells me that it isn't gonna be easy as it seems. And it's not about my bad reputation but something else.

Her eyes kept on mine, eyes which exude nothing but clearance...nothing like mine. Worry was clear in her eyes and I couldn't avoid it. 

I wanted those eyes to be same like many others but it weren't and I'm afraid I will feel guilty later because of a mistake I might make. It would have been easy if she wasn't the type of girl she is. But whenever I'm with her, all I can see is that she's different and she keeps on proving my thoughts true from every sentence that came out from her little lips.

On the night of our engagement, sometime after we went down the stage, I spoke with her mother and what she told me shocked me. I realised why she agreed to do this engagement. It will leave a big mark on her life yet she decided to do it for her mother. I was jealous, jealous of how much she treasures her. Mrs. Lee told me that Seoyeon doesn't know that she knows why her daughter agreed to my mother's offer and she want it to remain that way and not worry her. 

When we drove back to their house after we heard Mrs.Lee fainted, she was shaking and sweating profusely, fidgeting on her seat which cleared my doubts on the mother-daughter. I wanted to hold her hand as a little help of comfort that time. But wasn't able to as I was afraid the little tingle might come back like it does everytime I touched her soft ones.

"Myungsoo. Myungsoo!", she snapped me back from my little stupor thoughts.

"Are you okay?", she asked worried searching for my reassurance. It only made me double think on the steps I will be taking from now on. 

I didn't want to hurt her.

"..."

"Jiwon is not a bad person but I sometimes feel like she's playing with me"

 Why am I telling this to her? Why am I like this?

"Listen, she let's me do many things to her. Like...kisses, cuddlings and stuffs like that.", I look up at her and saw that she was flustered with those words. Innocence.

"But she always says that she can't love me. That she will never like me like the way I do for her.  Then, why does she keep on letting me get confused with her actions? I just can't understand her", I continued and waited for her to say something...something like a view from a girl's opinion.

"Does she...", she mumbled. Huh?

"​​​​​​D-Did you guys d-do it already?", She asked with cheeks tinted in full pink. I was confused as first but realised what she was saying which made me chuckle at how profusely she was blushing just because of it. Cute.

"You really are interesting", I said which made her look up at me with a blank expression but still with a pink face.