You look at the monitors backstage, thrilled to see the most probably amazing performance the boys will put on in just a few seconds. Still holding the make-up brush, tightly clutching it in your hand, you wait. The sparse light reveals the six bodies walking up on stage inbetween heaps of fog. Even though you tell yourself to pay attention to all of them, somehow your eyes always return to him. In the dressing room or when you run across him on the corridors, he always has that bright aura around him, and it doesn’t help that he’s handsome as well. With that combination, he caught your attention long ago. But on stage, he’s something entirely different. It’s like there is a different face hiding behind his usual expressions, like a whole different personality that somehow still fits somewhere between the rest of his traits to make his person more whole in the end.

               The music starts. Your heart skips a beat. Something grand is about to happen, that’s all you know, but you don’t yet know what. The other two girls in the back of the room are already squirming excitedly and something tells you they know more than you do. You regret being late for the meeting today more and more each second. Now you don’t know if it’s better to just look away and ignore what is about to go down on that TV screen, or if you should keep watching. Your feelings make the answer quite obvious – you should go for the former, but your eyes get stuck on that screen while his voice rings in your ears. He and Daehyun start it off with a bunch of really high notes and – this isn’t their song, is it? You think your vision is tricking you as he quickly reaches for the collar of his shirt and opens the first two buttons. The music drops, as if announcing a strong dance performance but for some reason, there’s only two people in front – and only one of them is part of the dance line. A slow rhythm sets in, piano that’s mostly drowned out by the fans’ cheers, as they perform one of their typical strong step-combinations. And then they all halt at one spot. One bodyroll. Two. Three, four… your head starts spinning. You can’t stop scanning that body and even the tiniest of its movements and when the camera zooms in and he stares right through the screen and into your eyes, you block out everything else for a second. Thankfully it soon pans to another member and you look away, mentally slapping yourself for the indecent thoughts creeping up on you. You shake them off and continue watching. Still, your mind is filled with nothing else but him. Nobody else but Youngjae. The light casting deep shadows and the white shirt revealing his defined collarbones could drive you crazy, if it wasn’t for the other people in this room you had to hide your very obvious crush from. So you take a few steps back to go tend to your make-up table and clean it up a little, but one of your co-workers stops you.

               “Aren’t you gonna keep watching? This is the best part now!” she claims excitedly and you turn your head back. Are they gonna strip…?, you think to yourself. Thankfully, only Zelo tears open his shirt to reveal this upper body. But you’re not interested in that. All you want right now is to clean up and go home. Hopefully without running into Youngjae along the way. Or running into him in some dark corner… Again, you mentally slap yourself, then you put all the utensils back to their place and clean off the brushes and other tools you have used. In the background the music stops and another performance of some girlgroup starts. It won’t be long until the boys return to this room. You won’t be able to leave before they do, so you hope if you just stay here and pretend to be occupied, they will leave you alone. You painfully remember the part of your briefing on your first day where they told you a relationship between staff and stars was strictly forbidden. Back then you just nodded obediently, not even fathoming it would come to this.

               “Hey, can you help me out here?” the other make-up artist from before calls over to you. Since she’s your eonnie, you can’t refuse and praying the guys would stay away just a little longer, you run over to her space at the other end of the room. However luck is not on your side today. As soon as you are right in front of the door, it opens and one after the other, the B.A.P-members come in. You make eye contact with Youngjae for a second, before you attempt to keep walking, still somehow you hear him say your name and he tells you to wait a second. Petrified, you think long and hard if you should turn around and eventually very stiffly do so.

               “Yes…?” Your voice cracks and you want to curse yourself for making it this obvious. What’s worse is that that made him laugh and he now looks at you with those warm brown pupils, before he takes your hands in his. By now the blush on your cheeks must surely be shining through your own make-up and your heart is beating so strongly, you’re sure the others can hear the pulsating too.

               “So I heard that today is a special day” he announces, yet he keeps his voice low as if only you should hear him.

               “What day?” Daehyun loudly asks him from behind while he fans himself with his hands. Youngjae tightens his hold on you for a second and smiles.

               “Someone here is celebrating her birthday” he explains and as per usual, the other members jump up and start yelling, somehow managing to turn those screams into a birthday-song for you. Your two coworkers chime in as well, the only one staying silent is the man right in front of you. You stare up at him with a big question mark written in your face and he can’t help but crack up at the sight of your lost expression. Still feeling his hands in yours, you watch him fondly and tell yourself to enjoy the moment, as you probably will never be this close to him ever again except for when doing his make-up in a rush.

               The song finished and Daehyun stopped screaming. Youngjae too collected himself and once again looks right into your eyes, giving you a warm feeling with a connotation of something else you can’t quite grasp.

               “Happy birthday” you hear him mumble and he slowly lets go of your hands. On your right palm, you now feel something else. As your close your fingers around it you start realizing what he just handed you. A piece of paper…?

With that we wish our precious Angelcake a very happy birthday! Celebrate well ;)