That night, his mom called me with his number, saying that they had safely come back home. She also asked what happened to us earlier because Do Kyungsoo had a bad mood as he reached home. He even told her mom to call me herself. I just said maybe he was tired after performing. But, we both knew it was not the truth.

Also that night, I found out about his secret. That was when I played the DVD he gave me, a demo to be exact. He sang Chris Brown's With You, with some mistakes in his pronounciation that made me giggled everytime. Only after I looked at it carefully, I found SM Ent. label on the DVD, the same label as in my SHINee albums. 

My brain started to think hard about it,  finding correlation of his every action this whole time. He sang nicely, has an over-average look, going to vocal course after school and went home late... Is it really vocal course? Or is it training?

Another fact that he needed to lose weight also made sense.

So, I assumed that he is a SM trainee all this long. And he kept it all alone. Neatly.

"Answer me honestly, Do Kyungsoo. Do you want to be a singer? Like an idol? You have all the requirements I supposed."

"Hmm... honestly yes."

"Well, why don't you go for audition or something?"

"Hmm..."

"Do you like it if I'm being an idol?" 

I waited to talk about it with him at school the next day.

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But that time did never come.

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He moved to the empty chair on the other corner of the class so he could sit there alone. Leaving only me and him who sit alone in our class. 

I just realized that last night I told him not to talk anymore, and he gave up so easily on my words. In my deepest heart, I hoped he would still try to talk to me, but he didn't. Not after that night, and the days after, and the weeks after, and a month already passed with a pitch silence.

Before I knew him, it's just normal for me sitting there alone, and I could bear it for more than 2 years. Then I started to feel something is missing. Even if my self pride is too high to say I missed him, but I couldn't deny my heart was aching for him, who is now being dumb all the time. 

In fact, he didn't talk to anyone at class. Not even Hyunsik.

"Why are you guys so complicated?" 

Lim Hyunsik asked me in break time. 

While him, on the other corner slept with his headset on as usual.

Hyunsik made his voice loud enough to be heard from his place as well. And it's really annoyed me.

"Han Sora, what you did to my friend?"

"Whatever I did, then will you bully me again just because he drew himself from you guys? It so makes sense."

I said that cynically.

Just because of my answer, Do Kyungsoo got up and made a loud noise by moving his seat and push it roughly until it bumped the desk. He said nothing and got out of the class leaving me and Hyunsik speechless.

"Just by his action, you see that he'll kill us all if we do it again to you."

"Listen, Han Sora. He'd never been like this before. It's funny how you could change him like that in a short time. "

"So what do you want from me?"

"Get your business done with him."

"As if you know what business I had with him, Lim Hyunsik."

I turned my head to look through the window. He said everything as if he knew what happened between us, when I actually thought the reason behind this was not about me. It's his another secret which I didn't have any will to spoil it to anyone. 
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"At least I know, that Do Kyungsoo likes you, Han Sora."

Those words became a magic spell that made my heart beats harder, as though I was hit with a hammer inside my chest. That made me unable to take a breath for a moment, 

"Lim Hyunsik watch your words. I want you to leave me alone"

"Ah, it's not a surprise why he was like that all the time, the reason is clearly..."

"Get lost."

"...you, Han Sora."

"Get lost now!"

I catched my breath without patience as he left. I had forgotten how to be liked or to like someone for a long time. I didn't want to experience it anymore, simply because I didn't want to lose it later.

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I was serving the customer diligently when the clock almost hit 9 p.m. My work would finish in 3 minutes. So, I moved faster to grab the order and gave it to the customer.

When I looked up at the next customer, I was surprised because it was Do Kyungsoo's mother. She seemed so pale and didn't respond to my greetings before.

"Eommonim, it's Han Sora. Do you remember me?"

She finally came back to her senses and her expression changed so easily when she recognized me. The timing was so perfect, that BokJoo eonni came from the kitchen and told me to get ready to go home. Eommonim told me to order anything I thought would be perfect for her, so I chose green tea . It's probably the best for her who looked so tired right now. I took eommonim's order first from the kitchen then approached her in her seat.

"Are you okay with green tea, Eommonim?"

"Oh yes, it's okay."

She wasn't interested in the drink I gave her before. She was looking at me while smiling for maybe a minute long.

"You look a bit different since your hair grew longer, Han Sora."

"Ah... Yes, Eommonim."

"You're pretty."

"Aniyo, Eommonim. Maybe because it has been a long time since we met."

"It was May back then and now we're in September already?"

"Yes, Eommonim."

"No wonder how fast summer passed over."
She let out a light laughter even though it sounded bitter, and finally took a sip of her green tea before started speaking again.

"You are very hard-working, Han Sora. Just like our Kyungsoo."

I was smiling a little while listening to her. Just by seeing her like this, I could feel something wrong.

"Perhaps you had known this, Han Sora... that he was trainee at SM."

"That's... yes, I found it out, Eommonim."

"Well, it was fun at first for him. But then it stressed him out lately. He was having hard times now, Han Sora. He barely spoke to me, even when I tried to talk to him, he would reject me. He never speak loud to me, just the opposite, he shut himself up, going out and came back very late in the morning without me knowing where he went all night."

"I can't help him. Nobody can since he rejected everyone at home. Once ever his dad got angry with him, and almost hit him because he didn't respond to his dad and staring at him instead which causing me and his brother separate both of them before something bad happened. It feels like he was pressured. And I can't see my boy being like that, Sora-ya."

She was near to let the tears flow upon her cheeks when I took out tissue from my bag. I gave it to her so she could wipe her tears.

I was moving to the seat beside her and hugged her instantly. She was crying with a noticeable sobbing which made other customers watched us. BokJoo eonni also noticed it but she didn't say anything, and frowned instead.

I soothed eommonim's back with my hands to calm her.

"Do Kyungsoo is strong, Eommonim. I believe that. So you don't have to worry so much."

"I asked Lim Hyunsik before, he was no different at school right? He doesn't want to respond to him as well. Not to mention his grades are falling, and his tendency to skip school."

" I never had a chance to copy your number from his phone, and he didn't want to tell me how to contact you before. And now at this very moment, I could finally meet you to ask for your help."

I was paying all my attention to her, but the words coming from her lips was such a burden to me. Somehow, I couldn't say no to her. Not with that sad eyes, and because I could feel my mom's presence just by seeing her. Their nature to protect their child is something that I could treasure back then. It was just the same feeling when I saw my mom cried because I came home late without telling her where I went with my friends back then.

"I'll... Try, Eommonim."

"Please help him, Sora-ya."

"I'll try my best."

I was guilty for promising something I didn't know I was capable or not to her. But it made her feeling better and managed to finish her tea before taking me home with her car. 

Being inside this car, once again I remembered what happened that night. When he was there, on the driver seat, asking a very simple question, that ended up with me made him feeling rejected and broken.

That simple but foolish words from me, turned him to reject everyone around him.

And that's all once again, because of me.

Now I admitted that fact, whether it's the only reason or not, I took part of making him suffered like this. And his suffering brought a multiple suffering to the people around him. Therefore, to fulfill my promise to his mom, I would try to talk to him first and set aside my self pride, that childish foolish and garbagish self pride.

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I called him as soon as I laid on my bed, restlessly waited the ringing end up with his answer. But it only ended because he didn't answer it. I hesitated at first, but I called him again. Still no answer. And that happened for the next tenths of calls I made that night.

Only after the clock had passed 1 a.m, the ringing ended in a shorter time, telling me that he rejected the last one.

I didn't make another call, but I sent him a text instead. 

"Do Kyungsoo, we need to talk."

I was so impatient to get the delivery notification, and finally it was delivered. The beats inside my chest became faster waiting for his reply. I wait there like a fool, for about 5 minutes. But it felt like an hour had passed while I was looking at the screen, at his number, his contact name in my phone, KyungV.

The memory of him that day when he stole my phone number was replayed in my mind and causing me to feel so broken. I finally realized that I wanted to see him smiling, laughing, and doing prank to me again.

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Because I missed him.
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"There's nothing to talk."

I found his reply the next morning. I was nervous and typed the reply.

"You should agree to that."
But I ended up erasing it and typed again

"I had many things to talk."
But I erased it one more time and tried another one

"At least you listen to me."
I hit the eraser on my screen over and over again and finally gave up typing.

I gave him one more call, but he instantly rejected it. I knew it because of the different ring when it ended.

I was feeling so bad that I threw my phone upon my bed. Just then, I realized that it was almost 7 while I had not prepared going to school. I was going to be late again this time.

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It was chemistry for today's first class.  SunHye seosangnim is nice enough to let me pass this time.

"Han Sora, paired up with Do Kyungsoo since we are going to have a pairing practicum."

The whole class put their eyes like a glue on me, as I walked towards him, at the opposite corner to my usual seat. There's a tray filled with chemistry tools and liquid upon the table. He was staring at his practicum workbook and pretended that he didn't know that I was sitting beside him.

It was funny how stiff I was when I finally got closer to him after a long time. Moreover because I terrored him with calls and text last night. I never imagined I scattered my pride so easily on him. Did he see me as a cheap girl now?

Oh god, I wish I brought cap earlier to cover my face that could be burning right now.

We were supposed to mix the liquids and observe the change on the mixture then report it on our workbook, analyze the reason and what reaction happened with the original chemical element. We did it silently, he did prepare most of them with me just pouring the liquid into elenmeyer and mix it nicely.

Once it was going like it should be, we started writing on our books. I was so nervous and bit my lower lip over and over again to talk to him. I don't know what to say! I had never been in this position, well I mean in this condition.

I was holding the blame and hope here. What do I do?

Okay, I'd call his name first. That would do, wouldn't it?

"Do Kyungsoo, " I called him with a softest voice so there's no other would hear it.

He didn't answer me, but when I was managing to call him one more time, he called our teacher with a loud voice and took his hands up to grab her attention. Was he going to the toilet to avoid conversation with me by now? I widened my eyes and looked at him carefully.

"Seosangnim,"

"Yes, Do Kyungsoo?"

"What do we do when a mark shows up on our skin where the liquid fall on?"

"Oh dear, you should wash it with water cleanly. It's burning your skin without your skin feeling it."

I was confused with his question which brought some panic to other students who had the marks he asked before. So then I looked on to his hand, but I found nothing there. Suddenly, he took my left hand which was hanging beside me, and washed it upon the tray with the water from his bottle. I didn't realize that a big mark was visible on my index finger and my thumb. Only when he cleaned it with his hands, I knew that he still cared for me.

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That I was longing for his touch.
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He didn't say anything that day. Nor did I. 
I was so ashamed of myself. How could I let him touch me and enjoyed the moment when we were having real problem back then. 

You're so cheap, Han Sora. I cursed my own self for being so easy on him like that.

But everytime I saw that mark on my finger, a smile escaped and butterflies came to my belly.

My heart sometimes wronged my mind, and it felt nice yet addicted. I always had this feeling everytime I think about him. But it's only in my mind. And I would change it soon.
But how?

I didn't know how. He didn't answer my call again. I was coward to speak directly to him. I just couldn't manage it well. That heartbeat really annoyed me somehow.

"Han Sora, be careful on your way. You seemed lost focus today." Janghoon-oppa told me as I excused myself to go home earlier.

I usually went home the last at Saturday, but this time, I went home as soon as the clock hit 11 p.m. Lately the air became so cold so I wear a coat and a shawl to make me warm. I strolled along the sidewalk with my hands on my pocket. 

I was walking without thinking anything when those memories came back. The night when he suddenly showed up and take me to the cinema. As if I was watching the 4D Cinema in front of me, I could see myself and him joking along the street, laughing and he lead the way as he held my hands.

"I'm missing you like crazy, Do Kyungsoo. My mind is playing tricks on me now, but I enjoyed it until I want it to be real. I wish you could come now, Do Kyungsoo. Right away. Right now."
I told the night air as I pressed his number on my phone, giving him another call.

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Then I could hear a ringing phone behind my back.