Yerim POV

 

I wake up groggily in early morning. I am trying to get a clearer view of my own room while my mind is still hazy. My throat feels so dry that it hurts. I stare my bedroom wall blankly and images come to me one by one. My dream, just now, reveals everything. The sign dream of my half, like the other nights in this one month straight.

It feels more and more real every night until the point that I accept it without any fights. I even forget how scared I am on the first week of the continuous dreams. I forget that I end up waking up in the dawn, eyes dart anywhere to find anything that can calm me. But then I realize that it’s not the dream. It’s just me with my anxiety with something new, something unfamiliar. And when I think back to times that I finally calm down is merely because of his scent, I don’t freak out anymore. I’m just confused because all of these things are unusual.

I take the small navy note on the desk beside my bed. I write every little detail that I can remember after waking up so it can remind me every day that I have someone, somewhere, that will love me with the whole of his life.

***

Taehyung POV

 

“Taehyung, where are you?” Jimin yells over the phone making me cringe. I pull away the phone until I think he’s done talking.

“I’m in Yeouido, taking photos a bit. Why?”

“Are you crazy? We have group meeting at 3 and you’ve been there since morning?”

Jimin’s words silence me. I let the words sinking since I don’t have anything in return. I know I haven’t been in my right mind since the dreams keep coming. All I can think is her. And here, one of many places that also appears in my dream. I remember walk around here hand in hand with her, only in my dreams. I sigh at the sudden sadness that filled my entire body.

“I’ll back to campus now. I still have 30 minutes, right?
“Ugh whatever”

I only chuckle when he hangs up the call. I look around for the last time before leaving the park.

 

I let out another deep sigh. I don’t mean to complain about anything but I really want to know who she is. This feeling of loving her is killing me because I can do it properly in real life. I look at all pictures that I printed out yesterday. I already collect many pictures and keep it save with me everyday. I can see her figure in every photo that I take with my mind. But in reality, I just take the empty space and hope she is there. Just like in every dream I have with her. I can see her smile even though I always cannot see her face.

“What should I do?”

***

Yerim POV

 

“So you’re saying that he is the one?” ask me to Aeri, my bestfriend since high school.

I ask the important question after all. I decide to tell her everything today, because I don’t think I can handle it alone anymore.

“Yup, I’m 100% sure. Our dreams are not exactly same but at some points you get all the important hints about your half, right? That’s what happened to me too like I’ve told you before.”

I bob my head while thinking. Yeah, I still remember her stories about this weird continuous dream.

“Then why you’re still alone? You know your soulmate anyway” I ask again.

I don’t mean to use sarcastic tone in my voice but . She tells me once who is her half and how all the kick comes, the ticklish and light feeling run in your blood making you all happy and smiley when you two are near. But I still don’t get it because I have no experience at all, just until what I see in my own dream every single night. A guy, whom I thought is a stranger, is hugging me tight like a lover. Kissing me like no tomorrow and stay next to me wherever I go like his life is depended on it. I don’t think I have seen him before because no one of my male friends looks like him.

“Let’s focus on you. What do you remember from him the most?” I know she just change the topic but I let it pass. I need time to think about this now because it finally happens to me.

“Since his warm touch and fresh smell cannot be described… hmm, I think I saw a little mole in his nose” which I like to kiss apparently, in my dream.

“Okay, that’s detail but hard to see unless you check his face closely. What else?”

I try to remember anything that comes to my mind.

“I think he is a bit tall, around Jin’s height maybe, since he easily tucks me under his chin. He has a tanned skin like me”

Aeri seems thinking and remembering anyone who has these features I mentioned.

“His voice is also deep. Like…” My mind wanders to some dreams I have when he speaks to me sweetly.  He has a nice voice with a deep baritone, which is very y, even just in dreams. His chuckles always be my favorite. Aeri claps her hands in front of me and stops me to get further in my blank state. I don’t realize that I stop talking but imagining him in my head. Well, being soulmate, in my dream, means we do things what couples do. And it’s hard to not be reminded and act like nothing happen when it feels you have done a lot.

“Like…?”

“Just like that, you know, deep” I try to not answer the question or explain anything further to her. It’s difficult to tell her of what happened in my dreams especially the skinship when I never do it in real life.

“Well, I think it’ll be better if we just let the universe work its way and bring you two together”

I nod to Aeri. She must be think I will concern about this and give me a cut before I do it. And it will be too hard to find him without solid clue that will lead directly to him anyway.

“From now on, you will feel the kick out of nowhere. You will easily be in a good mood too. Just let it be”

“Yeah, I understand” I say blankly.

“Oh, you may be in a bad mood when he is” she gives warning with serious look which makes my face all scrunching up. I’m not sure I’m ready for this but it’s destined from the very start of my life. Nervous fills me in but excitement is there too. I hope I don’t have to wait for a long time, I long to see him already.

 

Our encounter is a mathematical formula
The law of religion, the ways of the universe
The evidence of fate given to me
You are the origin of my dreams

***

Taehyung POV

 

I throw my costume hard on the floor making my group mates jump. I glare each one of them to let them know that I am beyond angry right now. I shouldn’t have joining this group when I know they are just bunch of lazy even though they have experience for small drama musical. I am actually mad to myself more because of my stupid decision. I still think they can change to be more diligent in Prof. Kang’s Acting class. But it’s just me and they finally mess up the first trial of performing.

“Hey, Taehyung, don’t scare us like that. This is just practice, not the actual test” says Jongmin making my blood boiling.

“Not the actual test?” I ask him to know whether he is serious with his words or he is just dumb. Prof Kang is one of those lecturers that see the process instead of the output itself. He wants to see how many of his students that really put effort to success and pass his judgment for the entire semester.

“I don’t care where have you been in this major but if you want to fail, don’t drag me or others with you”

“Taehyung, that’s a bit…” his friend tries to defend him and I just give him a raised eyebrow, waiting for him to say more.

“You should know by now that our grades will never be better than C+” I growl at them.

I collect my things and leave them feeling my anger and their dumbness in their brain. I don’t want to expect much but hope it can make them thinking a little bit. If my grade is really C+, I won’t ever regret to yell like that. My mood has been worse since yesterday and it will not getting better after what was just happened. I should find Jin and ask him to cook me a good meal to make me feel better.

I walk to Literature major building across the library. Jin will be there if not in the cafeteria. He maybe still in denial with the soulmate thingy and decide to ‘taking it slow’ with Aeri, his crush since God knows when, but I know she is the only girl he ever sets his eyes on. I scoff loudly. Jin wastes his time when he already finds his other half when I try hard to find mine. This thought is supposed to fuel my anger more but I can’t help but smiling like idiot. I don’t know why but I suddenly feel good and have no tension that I have just now. I think I’m finally going crazy after my long finding attempt just to see my mate.

“Taehyung!” Jimin stands beside me with worry written on his face. I think he heard about me losing my temper after the class.

His face now is more worried after seeing my happy face. I just smile at him and wave like something has happened to me. I can’t stop myself when I feel a strong kick on my chest. My chest feels lighter and lighter with every second.

“Oh no” says Jimin, who is leaving me to run as fast as he can. I just shrug and continue my walk when I feel the second kick. I never feel a continuous kick at short period of time. Does it mean she is nearby? Can I finally see her after all this time? I look around to find her. I should find her.

 

Yerim POV

 

I sigh countless times in the quiet library. My mood is not good for the past days and it affects many things. I don’t even remember why I’m being like this in the first place. I try to have a peace with my mind and heart so I can finally concentrate to the romance novel in my hands. Bad mood does not really compatible with romance so I just stare at the first page for ten minutes. When I think I feel a little bit better, I decide to give up on reading. I put back the book on the shelf and go out to the library’s yard.

Fall has coming and the weather becomes cooler. The color of the trees becomes more and more beautiful lately. I can see many students choose to study together in the yard instead of the study rooms. One of many ways to refresh your mind to help studying, I guess. I put up my phone to take a picture of the red-ish leaves tree in front of me when I feel the kick.

I grip my phone tighter because of the shock. I turn my head quick to my right and left and checking everyone near me. Pleasant feeling fills me in a second and it freezes me. This is what they always tell us about, this is how the kick felt. The kick and its effect. It’s the very first time I feel this strong kick. Up till today, it’s mostly the happy feeling that makes me smile every once and then. The pleasant feeling runs faster in my blood and it freaks me out. I need to stop myself from smiling because it’s really weird. How can I smile when I’m in the bottom of my mood, up till second ago? It doesn’t make any sense.

“Jin, I think Taehyung is crazy now. He is out from his class with huge grin and waving after yelling to his group mate because not doing their work right”

Two men stops not far from me and their conversation draws me to listen more. I feel they talk about this kick and its effect thingy and I need more info to make sure I’m not crazy too. I know one of them, Jin, fourth year student and Aeri’s crush slash her soulmate. I talk with him often since he and Aeri tease each other everyday. Yes, literally everyday just because they are too shy to ask each other out. Like, they are sure that the other is their half one, at least Aeri thinks that from all of hints in her dreams, but they still do nothing about it. The other man is Jimin. He is the campus sweetheart chosen last year on the campus festival, but we never been in touch directly before.

“Are you serious?”

“Why would I joke around when my best friend being freak all of a sudden?”

“, you’re right”

I follow both men’s sight and see the man that they are talking about. Taehyung is one of Jin’s friends that I meet several times. He may be not coming first on ‘The Campus Sweetheart’ election, but believe me he has many admirers as Jimin’s. He has a very beautiful face that you can’t help but falling in love with. But Taehyung is a bit more unique person so people favor Jimin more. But honestly, I pick Taehyung over Jimin last year. Don’t ask me why, I don’t have any reason to tell.

Taehyung, with a super wide grin in his face, walks to his friends. Before I can hear whatever come out from Jin’s mouth, my heart races irregularly and makes me dizzy suddenly. I am too light-headed to follow Jin’s conversation with Jimin.

“Shoot” I curse and trying to keep it down by pressing my chest hard. This is not normal. No. I’ve never been like this before. This kick is stronger than the one I just experienced just now. I inhale a long breath while looking down, prevent myself to get panic attack. My heart still beats two times faster but the shock is gone and replaced by strong warmth in my chest. I take more oxygen to convince myself that I’m okay when I hear my name being called by Jin.

“Yerim, are you alright?”

I just nod and still try to breathe more. I don’t think it’s how usually the kick working, at least not the one that I used to experience. I need to make myself look composed to to Jin and his friends. I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of them.

“Are you sure?”

I lift my head up and give a firm nod to Jin. I don’t think worrying him will get a good outcome also. I know from Aeri that Jin would overreact and I surely don’t want any drama now. He sighs in relief and believes me this time. I divert my gaze to the other men to make sure they don’t let out another question. I’m not very comfortable talk with strangers, let alone them worrying about my health out of blue. And then I feel the strongest kick of all. It feels so great that freaks me out even more. Those brown eyes of Taehyung mirroring my eyes and we both know that we are each other’s half. My breath stops.

 

I recognized you as soon as I saw you
As if we’ve called each other
The DNA in my blood is telling me
That it’s you who I’ve been looking for

 

“I found you” his voice barely a whisper yet I can hear it clearly.

I froze in my place seeing him in front of me. The man in my dream is finally come to real life and stands before my eyes. It never crosses my mind that I will feel this kind of feeling when I see Taehyung, I panic, I don’t know what to do, I’m not ready. And I do the best way that I can think first, run away from him.

 

Taehyung POV

 

“Yerim! Wait!” I try to call her when I see her running away from me. I can let it happened. No. I’ve been trying everything and when the time comes I don’t want to let it just go like that. Jin holds my arms when my feet decide to follow her.

“Don’t do that, Taehyung”

“But I have been waiting this for long time, Jin”

“I know. But things won’t be good if you come to her in a rush” say Jin, making me let out a frustrated groan.

 

I run my hands over my hair hundred times already. I cannot sit in peace nor stop rambling about my worries. I shouldn’t talk, and then she won’t be scared. I shouldn’t yell her name and make her leaving me like that.

“What should I do, Jin? Have this happened to you and Aeri?”

“Why did I yell like crazy man and scare her off?”

“I don’t think I can live if she rejects me”

“Don’t you think I should go to her and apologize?”

“Hyung, help me”

Jin observes me in silence. He has that soft smile on his face and it makes me more confused than ever. He doesn’t really tell me what to do and ignores my questions. He pats my back and tells me to calm myself down to think clearly.

“Stay here”

 

Yerim POV

 

I pace around in my studio apartment since the door closed. I don’t even take out my shoes yet go back and forth from the front door to my living-bedroom in my cramp studio.

“Is this really happening?” I scream to myself with both of my hand in the air.

I’m happy, indeed. It’s finally the time when I know I won’t be alone for my entire life. I can finally share whatever I feel to someone who is truly care. But before we go to that phase, I don’t even know how to talk with him. How should an awkward person like me getting in a normal conversation? No idea at all. It’s always someone trying to get me involved then I can speak slowly.

My phone rings and makes me jump oddly. I look at my bag on the floor and guess who’s the caller. My bet down to Aeri, who might be heard the news already from Jin. Ugh, I don’t think I can meet Jin without thinking about earlier accident. How can I just frantically run when Taehyung said those words?

“Yerim?” ask Aeri softly.

“Yeah?” I reply with much doubt in my voice.

“Don’t you have something to tell me?”

“Do I?”

I stall time for nothing because sooner or later I will yell my frustration out to her because she’s the one that I trust my entire secret with. I just don’t know how to start to tell her all. Not when I’m still disbelieve that it’s finally the time.

“Spill out, now”

I tell her everything that happened today. Thankfully she doesn’t interrupt me with any question and let me out every single detail to her. When I’m done, she asks me if I’m alright.

“I don’t know. I’m not even sure I’m happy or scared now”

“Breathe slowly. Should I come to your place?”

“Please”

 

I whimper when I remember leaving Taehyung behind without saying a word. Not even spare a look to Jin and Jimin because of my complicated mind. Aeri chuckles softly and pats my back. She knows how it feels like since she experienced it herself not long ago, unless hers is less embarrassing than mine and yet I laughed at her back then. And she is in a good term with Jin, even though they are still not together yet.

“So, what is your plan now? You’re the only friend I know who meets her soulmate other than me. Others just don’t care as much as we do”

I shrug, no plan sounds good to me. I look at her looking for help and she only gives me smile.

“Jin is worried because he knows how you are around strangers. But it seems more like he worries Taehyung scares you since you just go when you saw him. He tells me Taehyung is not in a good condition now, rambling nonsense of him to make you just go like that but afraid to scared you more. Taehyung worry to lose you, not before he try to approach you at all”

My shoulders slump down hearing Aeri’s words. Taehyung and I are worried for each other and it feels very uncomfortable. My chest feels so heavy and I just can make it go away. Now, I know why.

“It’s not like that though. It’s just me. I’m actually grateful that my half is Taehyung”

Aeri waits for me to continue.

“I’ve thought the worst possibility of anyone who will be my partner. But Taehyung is far from that bad thought. I maybe not ready for this yet and he just comes in front of me looking so… radiant and perfect. I can’t help but feel content yet scared of myself”

I look at Aeri in eyes, eyebrows knit together.

“It’s weird, right? How can I be happy just looking at him when I haven’t engaged in private conversation with him in my entire life?”

“Should I say yes? Will it make you finally at ease?” ask her with soft smile. I shake my head slowly. No matter how hard I deny the fact, that’s the reality. This weird thing is also explain how my parents meet, my grandparents meet and maybe back to how my ancestors meet in the first place.

“It’s our destiny, Yerim. You two have been fated since you were existed in this world and you actually feel good about it. I will not ask you much because first encounter will be overwhelmed but please, try to not avoid Taehyung, it will feel unpleasant for both of you, just like now”

 

Because all of this is not coincidence
Because we’ve found our destiny
DNA

 

That night I dream about Taehyung. Now I can clearly see his face, hear his voice whispering sweet nothings, feel his warmth while hugging me. Something in me change, I can feel it in my entire body. And it reaches its peak when Taehyung’s lips come to mine.

***

I really try hard to get myself calm. I keep taking a deep breath when the ticklish sensation comes. I learn by now that I will feel it when Taehyung is near. And it makes me more aware of his presence. I can’t help myself to look around. I caught him walking from the end of hallway from the park’s bench where I’m sitting. His boyish smile automatically makes me smile. I try to not creep out of this fact and receive it as my fate. He greets everyone in hallway and gets me fascinated. I realize the big difference in our behavior. I rarely greet people and will only avoid them to minimize any interaction. Unless I know them well, I won’t mind starting conversation first.

I remember how he easily enlightens the mood and lead people to have a good time. We never talk directly but his presence comforts me in a way I can’t describe back then. And now I know the reason why I feel annoyed to his classmate who openly flirts with him during lunch break. It’s because I know he is mine, he is off limit to anyone.

My focus backs to Taehyung who talks to his friends. I think Taehyung is in a good mood because he casually laughs with other before abruptly looks at my direction. He keeps smiling and staring at me. Or so I thought since I break the eye contact fast and pretend to read the book that I hold before.

 

“Hey” a deep voice greets me then I feel the kick. A strong one, but I’m not surprised anymore. I slowly look up and find Taehyung with soft smile in his face.

“Hey” I reply with much effort to sound casual despite my rapid heartbeat.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” He points the empty spot beside my bag and I just shake my head. He sits 30 centimeters from me. I hope he won’t hear the loud drums from my chest.

“I’m Taehyung” he says while offering his hand. I’m sure we know each other name by now so I just stare at him with confused look.

“I only want to make an official introduction to you. We haven’t had one, have we?”

I chuckle lightly and shake my head again. He, now, laughs with me and it brings sense of comfort for me. I take his large hands and its warm spreads to mine. It reminds me my dreams about him. All hints given to me now becomes reality. And the feeling is just the same as in my unconscious state, even better.

He starts the conversation with simple questions that he curious about and gives me some information about him to. I feel thankful that he understands my circumstances to strangers even though he never really felt like stranger to me to begin with.

“I don’t want to scare you, Yerim. That’s the last thing I want you to feel around me”

“I’m not scared. It’s just unusual for me, Taehyung”

He swifts closer and make my breath hitched. We sit arm to arm in silence.

“I know you’re not comfortable with stranger but please bear with me. Since the day I know you’re the one, I already hold myself to not come to you and hug you right at that moment”

I’m blushing hearing Taehyung’s confession. This is another difference within us. Taehyung is blunt and brave with words while I’m not. He really talks what’s in his mind meanwhile I prefer to keep it down, deep down in my head.

“You’re not a stranger though” I reply in whisper. I’m not sure how to say it but I know he get what I mean by chucking lowly. We just sit there until a voice breaks the comfort silence.

“Yerim, I’m Hyuksoo from Critical Reading class. I want to invite you to have dinner with others on Friday night. If you want, I can pick you up too”

I stare at the smiling boy that comes from nowhere as in questioning him and his true meaning under his invitation. I never really go out with others except for group project. I prefer to have lunch with Aeri or Hwayoung, my classmate. Even though some people will ask us to join their table, I never talk much. Is he really serious to ask me out to go with others that I foreign with? And he asks me in front of Taehyung? Well, no one knows what happened to me and Taehyung, but Taehyung sits too close to anyone with ‘friend of a friend-relationship’ should do. This should give him a picture that we spent a private moment.

I hear Taehyung hiss behind me and scoot closer to me until I feel him on my back. He slightly puts his head on my shoulder, not showing sign to others that it’s actually our first encounter in our real life. Just then the boy realizes that Taehyung is with me, looking not happy with his invitation.

“Oh, hi Taehyung”

So Hyuksoo knows Taehyung and still stands so confident in front of us. I think he wants to prove something over the man behind me.

“She’s busy on Friday night, and Saturday night, and any other night in future, with her boyfriend”

He emphasizes the ‘her boyfriend’ words and it makes me somewhat happy. I fight the urge to smile and being rude to Hyuksoo. The boy just looks at Taehyung blankly while opening and closing his mouth, loss for words to get back at Taehyung. I feel Taehyung’s hand circling my body, definitely not giving up to act all cocky to the poor boy.

“I’m sorry” That’s all he said before walks away without looking back.

“What was that?” I turn my head to Taehyung and face him. He’s too close that I can see the little mole in his nose, the same one as I see in my dreams. My face is getting red as remembering some moments related to that tiny dot. Taehyung keeps his hand on my waist while looking unfocused.

“Hm?”

“What’s with you turning down his invitation and saying that I have a boyfriend?” I raise my eyebrow and slightly push his body away to seriously answer me this time also giving me space to breathe.

“I’m not wrong, right? You’re mine and no one should try to steal you from me”

He his bottom lip slowly and I fail to restrain my eyes following the movement. I become ten times more aware of our proximity.

“We just get to know each other in an hour” I talk in whisper. Not sure of speaking loudly and breaking the intimate bubble.

“Yeah, but we are destined to be together since the universe is made, anyway. I’m not giving you up to anyone, no way”

 

From the day the universe was formed
Past infinite worlds
Probably in our past live and in our next lives
We’ll be together forever

Because all of this is not coincidence
Because we’ve found our destiny
DNA

***

News spreads like fire and I have an idea where this talk comes from. Most of them guess correctly because they have passed the same experience. Some other are being salty and put Taehyung or me on a bad side. Just because I’m the quiet one, they think Taehyung going out with me just to use me. Just because he is everyone favorite, they think I trap Taehyung so he dates me. Well, people can be mean but I don’t care. I keep wear a straight face when walking to my first class on that morning.

“So, it’s Taehyung?” asks Hwayoung with a smirk.

We talk about this destiny sometimes, how it can’t be understood by our mere logic yet we are happy when we feel it. Few days ago, she and I are in the same page. We feel the unreasonable happiness but haven’t met our Mr. Right for months. I nod at her question and only make her smirk more visible, teasing me openly.

“At least he is in your wish list. It must feel good”

I can’t help but grinning. She, once, makes me to list names of men who are likely my soulmate or simply I wish to be the one. It might change every time we bring the topic out but Taehyung always be my top three. And it turns out, he is the one.

“You should think yours is actually on your list too”

“Then I have to make a good list from now on”

Her reply makes both of us laugh just in time the professor’s assistant comes. We look at each other and expect to get another assignment to work with while our professor is too busy to giving lecture.

“Mr. Min is out of town and gives you two weeks worth assignment. Go to Performing Arts building and watch at least one of their theater plays. Observe well and choose one intrinsic or extrinsic elements and deliberate to five pages essay, at least. Go check their schedule now and the class is dismissed”

I still stare on the spot where the assistant standing just now and processing the information he gives us. We indeed expect another task to be done but the new assignment is too much since we still have another on hold due to Mr. Min’s absence last week. But the fact we need Performing Arts Drama Class to get it done is more shocking. Hwayoung chuckles while shaking her head.

“It’s time to pay a visit of your new boyfriend then”

 

“Seeing you here really confirmed the rumor” says a voice that comes suddenly from my behind. I turn my head to find Taehyung with a smile. I can’t help to smile back at him. He takes my hand in his.

“What rumor?”

“Rumor that saying Literature students will come out from their shell and temporarily move here”

I hit his arm with my free hand and he just smiles. Hwayoung clears , reminds me that she’s there too with me.

“Ah, this is Hwayoung, my friend on Modern Literature class. Hwayoung, this is Taehyung, my…” I stop myself on Taehyung’s introduction and earn teasing smile from two persons in front of me.

“Boyfriend” he continues my words while shaking Hwayoung’s hand. I feel heat creeping to my face when hear the word second time. I just look at Taehyung in disbelief and he just shrugs. He plays with my hand like a very common habit.

“So what does my girl need?” asks him. I can tell my cheeks redden but answer Taehyung’s question anyway.

“I need your theater play schedule for this month. We have to do something with that to pass Mr. Min’s class”

“Then we should go to the hall then”

Walking hand in hand with Taehyung in public is surprisingly calming. I don’t bother others’ stare or teasing while Taehyung brags about our intertwined fingers. I think some of Taehyung’s trait affect me and change me a little. I never thought I will be able to show this kind of affection in public with anyone but now I do it easily with him. We stand in front of the schedule board and take some pictures to make it easier to check later.

“You only need to see my schedule” said him then points the second row timetable.

“My play will be on next Friday and you have to come”

“Why?”

“Because you have to see how cool your boyfriend is”

***

Every time I see her, I am amazed
It’s so strange, my breath keeps stopping

Is this the love that I’ve only heard about?
Because from the start, my heart only beat towards you

 

It has been two months that Taehyung and I get together. He brings me to watch movie or have a meal as a date. Some nights, he will just be too lazy to go back to his apartment and try to sleep over. But then Jin will call and give him a long lecture that forces him to leave my apartment. I, sometimes, feel sorry for Taehyung and want him to stay the night too. But I can’t say it aloud since I’m embarrassed enough just to imagine it.

I can read his thought from his face now, but not too often since he is more like spontaneous person that I’ve ever met. Even though I can make a guess or two from his heartbeat and warmth feeling inside my chest everytime he has plan for us in mind. I think he feel the same since he knows how to make everything works all the time.

Tonight we celebrate Jin’s birthday on the shared apartment of Jin, Taehyung and Jimin. Jin allow some close friends only to come for dinner and have a little bit beer and soju since he knows he will be the one who is in charge for cleaning. Jin, the birthday boy, is busy to greet everyone that come with help from Jimin as another host of the dinner. Taehyung sits comfortably with me in sofa and massages my nape without really aware that it may look too much for others. I don’t know when we are starting to do much PDA but it’s just naturally happened. He likes skinship much that we do it here and there, day and night, alone and in crowds. I lean my body more to Taehyung, feeling the heat radiated from him. I breathe his cologne then close my eyes in content.

“Are you tired?” asks him, realizing my eye closed. I just shake and let myself be in more comfortable position. Taehyung circles his free arm around me.

“You two look so dangerous to be left alone”

Jin’s voice surprises me that I snap my eyes open. I gulp a non-existent lump in my throat. I have been thinking the same too actually. Taehyung and I become closer in no time and yes, intimately close. We share our first kiss just in a week since the revelation. And from that day on, we keep progressing further. It’s scary in pleasant way since I never think I will do that in life. I couldn’t even ask for direction to stranger before yet I’m easily let Taehyung enter my world.

“We do nothing, Jin. Your nagging is not necessary” denies Taehyung.

Jin keeps nagging us while Aeri and I are smiling to each other. I understand Jin’s worry because we are moving too fast. But he is just being overprotective to me and Taehyung. I mean, we are one year younger away only. Basically, we are grown up, just like him. We know what we do and we will take the responsibility for anything that might happen.

“Jin Hyung” The man next to me calls the older male with stressing the word ‘hyung’. I guess Taehyung is a bit annoyed now.

“How about take Aeri to veranda and talk about your own relationship instead of nosing to mine. Don’t you think you two take a long road in slow pace already?”

I gasp and look at the annoyed Taehyung beside me. I put my hand up to his mouth and smile apologetically to Jin and Aeri. Jin is taken aback with the younger’s words but can’t help blushing in shame. He realizes that we build our relationship faster even though they meet first. I don’t know what to say to comfort Jin but not let Taehyung thinking that I’m not in his side. Just then Aeri stands up and Jin follows her closely. I think Jin will take his chance now. My eyes stay on their back until they are gone behind the curtain. I don’t realize that I still keep my hand on Taehyung’s mouth until he kisses it.

“You don’t have to say it like that” I say while giving him disapproving look. He holds me tighter and pouts his lips. I hold my breath and try to not look his lips. It always is difficult to whenever Taehyung is being like this.

“I just state the fact. I mean, we are dying to see them together too, right? So, I give him a little push” he replies while pouting and it makes him more adorable than usual. I cup his face and his cheek with my thumbs slowly.

“My boyfriend is very kindhearted in a mean way” I and it makes his lips stretch a smile.

“But he is doing a good thing” he says. I nod and smile at him.

“Then you should give him a reward”

“What does he want as reward?”

Taehyung seems to think in playful manner and smirks after done choosing in his head.

“A kiss would be enough for now”

I usually cannot stand Taehyung’s long stare just because I will feel my face becomes hot. But today, I don’t want to be the first one who looks away even though I know Taehyung won’t lose in his game. Taehyung inches closer and I hold my breath again. He his bottom lip and it makes me lose my focus. He wouldn’t kiss me when his friends around, right? He knows how I struggle to deal myself with other people in normal circumstances. It will be impossible for me to face people if they caught me do romantic things, even with my boyfriend.

Someone clears his throat right before Taehyung’s lips landing at mine. I turn my head to my left and avoid meeting anyone’s eyes. I bury my face on Taehyung’s shoulder when I hear Hoseok’s chuckles. They really caught us. My mind is full of every possible tease from him and the others when Taehyung whispers to get me off of him for a while.

“Wait me here” he says before jumping on Hoseok. I don’t want to see what happens but I do hear Hoseok’s scream and Taehyung’s protest. I keep my face hidden in my hands because I know my face will be as red as tomato right now. I guess Taehyung hit Hoseok couple times before he comes back to me and pulls me in a hug. I just want to disappear because the embarrassing moment is unbearable.

 

Taehyung decides to bring me home and safe me from his friends’ playful teases. I’m still recovering from the embarrassment and feel a little bit mad at my boyfriend. He knows how cruel his friends are when teasing others but he still tried to kiss me there. I let him hold my hand but I don’t speak a word.

“I’m sorry” he says softly while squeezing my hand. I think he feels my mood is a bit down.

“I won’t do it again in front of the others, I promise”

He stops walking and block my view. He lowers himself to look at me in the eyes and give me pleading look. It reminds me that he often said that he is afraid to have me left him. How can I do that when I love him as much as he does?

“Please, Yerim”

I let out a sigh and bob my head. He gives me a weak smile which makes me feeling guilty to act like this. He maybe do something wrong but it’s just his nature. He never mad at me because I don’t talk to his friends or give them response while joking around. He understands me. Why am I not turning back the favor?

“I’m not mad. I just can’t handle teasing and attention that well”

“I know. And I shouldn’t do that when I already know, should I?”

I peck his corner lips as an apology. My heart beats rapidly until I think it will go up to my throat. I’m sure my face is reddening again but I need to learn to not care. His expression changes in second. His smile becomes wide, eyes shifts into crescent. He reminds me of Peter Pan’s reaction being kissed by Wendy in a movie. He’s too cute to even realize his action next. He kisses me fully on the lips while I’m not aware or prepared.

“Thank you” he says and continues our walks.

***

Taehyung helps me doing my assignment until late in my place. He is already in his comfortable position on my bed when it finished. I look at the clock that shows it pass midnight already. I amaze that Jin hasn’t call Taehyung until now since he still against Taehyung to sleep over in my place. I steal a glance to Taehyung who seems very carefree while watching funny variety show on the TV. I don’t think he has any intention to go back to his own place.

“Do you think you can sleep with your jeans on? I don’t have any clean sweatpants for you”

His laugh disappears through thin air. I can feel Taehyung’s heartbeat quickened. I think I said something wrong when I don’t hear anything from him. I close my small wardrobe and look at him carefully. He is there, with eyes and mouth open widely. He just stares at me in silence and it makes me worry.

“Taehyung…”

“Did you just… Are you saying that… You ask me to…”

This is the first time I see Taehyung looking so lost and cannot talk properly. He is always the one who knows how to act and talk. This side of him surprises me and really confusing.

“What did I do?” I ask him back in horror. He breaks into smiley Taehyung and runs toward me fast that I don’t see it at all. He stands before me and traps me into the solid material behind me.

“Are you saying I can stay the night?”

I blink rapidly, inspecting his overly happy face. I nod once.

“Can I sleep in your bed, with you in my arms?”

I nod again. He lets out a deep chuckle and pecks me in the lips fast. He backs to his place on my bed and rummages his bag. He pulls out a set of pajamas with a playful smirk.

“I come prepared, you know”

I can’t believe what I see but just laugh with him eventually. He dashes off to bathroom and I can’t help to palm my face.

 

We lie on my bed and talk about anything that crosses to our mind first. We talk in small voice as if worry it will bother my neighbors which is not necessary at all. Taehyung pulls me closer until my back and his chest touching after my joke about our lecturer and laughs on my shoulder. I take a sharp breath while he is unaware. Taehyung is rarely conscious that his thoughtless skinship habit always makes me hundred times nervous than our intended proximity. Being connected doesn’t mean we fully understand what we feel by mere heartbeat pace, nauseous or excited feeling. So I take it as he doesn’t know that I’m half nervous and half anticipated.

Taehyung starts to talk more quietly with his deep voice and it sends chills to my back. His arms secure themselves on my waist while he tries to make me look at him. I turn my face and find we have no space between our faces. His sharp nose is touching mine and I can feel his breath on my upper lip. I can’t make words that come from his mouth. I can’t concentrate on anything while being this close. I know we both sense it in our blood, how the ticklish feeling runs crazier this time.

 

I want it this love I want it real love
I’m only focusing on you
It pulls me harder

From the start, my DNA wants you
This is fate, I love us
Only we are true lovers

 

He kisses me slowly, deepen the breathtaking atmosphere more. He hovers above me to make it easier instead of craning our necks that will hurt in a minute. His cold hands are now under my tops, making me flinch a little. It keeps going further until both of our phones ringing loudly and making us separated in split second. Taehyung looks furious when see his phone screen and ready to yell but beaten by the other person across the line. I think I know who the caller is when I look at mine. Aeri’s nickname flashes on the screen and I swipe to answer.

“Is Taehyung there?” she asks softly.

“Yes, he stays the night. It’s too late to back to his place. I can’t let him go home at midnight after helping me finishing my assignment, plus in the cold winter night”

She laughs at my made up excuse but understand anyway. I know she calls me because Jin is worried again. Having them worry over us is blessing but sometimes it’s just too much. Jin should realize that Taehyung is innocent boy that won’t go over the line even though he likes skinship more than anything.

“Jin hyuuuung! Let me sleep at peace in my girlfriend’s place just once for God’s sake”

I jump at Taehyung’s voice and giggle when see his frustrated face. His free hand is gripping his own hair, venting his anger to Jin. How he can be cute and y at the same time and again, without him being aware of it.

“Okay. Just don’t do things that you will regret later” she reminds me over and over and I just nod. I answer her when I realize she can’t see me.

“I get it” I reply to ensure her that nothing’s going to wrong.

“If you don’t disturb me this time, I promise I won’t tease you with Aeri again. Ok? Good night, hyung!”

Taehyung talks so fast and doesn’t even care of what Jin wants to say. He throws his phone and back to lay down his on his back. He puffs a frustrated sigh and invites me to come over his open arms.

“Let’s forget the nagging couple and have a good sleep”

I giggle and hug him tight. I bob my head that rest on his chest and drift to the dreamland.

 

Don’t look back
Because we’ve found our destiny
Don’t regret it baby
Because we’re forever together