I slumped in my desk chair, spinning around and staring frustratedly at the ceiling. On top of schoolwork, taking care of Mi-soo, tutoring (now with brand-new student mr. arrogant himself), now I also had to deal with college apps. But what could I write about, to make myself stand out? I had never been the most gifted with the literary arts -- that was more Yoojung's front, and she had saved my on too many essays to count. Still, this was important to me. I had to get into Seoul University's Applied Math Program, and on a scholarship too. 

I sighed. Staring at the ceiling and hoping the answers would float down to me magically wouldn't do me any good. I grabbed a hoodie and headed up to the roof. 

The roof was my secret sanctuary. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, stressed, or like last year, when I felt one step away from breaking down into tears each time I went to school, I would climb my way up there. Although the door was locked, there was a hidden ladder off to the side you could use to hoist yourself up there. Up there was just the wind. I could yell out all my secrets (or maybe sarcastically mutter. I was still worried our neighbors might hear and I didn't want to disrupt anyone with my angry crying) and feel infinitely better after. 

This time, I slouched against the railing, my shoulders and hair spilling over the edge as I tipped my head back to squint at the sky. 

"Maybe if I mention that I'm tutoring a "world-class idol" they'll let me in so they can learn what his hair smells like," I muttered sarcastically, "Seoul University Applied Maths, will you give me a scholarship if I tell you waht shampoo Jeon Jeongguk uses?"

The situation seemed hopeless, and I continued throwing out increasingly ludicrous ideas. Suddenly, a chuckle to my right startled me out of my ranting. 

"He uses whatever our stylist recommends for him. Or whatever our manager stocks the apartment with. But somehow, I don't think that's the answer you're looking for." 

I looked and found that I had company in the form of a mint-haired man, who was eyeing me curiously. Oh, right. He had just heard me obsess over his bandmate's shampoo use. Oops.

"Sorry, you had to hear that... Yoongi-ssi?" I hazarded.

"That makes me feel like an old man," he groused, "not that the maknaes don't call me that often enough." 

"Oh, sorry," I apologized again. It felt weird seeing someone I didn't know up here, but whose face was plastered up on billboards around the world. And yet, was it the world-famous pop star or just a friendly neighbor who had come up to the rooftop? Calling him "oppa" seemed, somoehow, overly familiar. 

We lapsed into a somewhat awkward silence. I admit, outside Taehyung-oppa and Jimin-oppa, I had had limited interactions with the rest of BTS (excluding Mr. Stuckup-Guk. I kept running into him Everywhere). I had my own life to deal with, and I had never been interested in them. They probably enjoyed not being fawned over every second of their lives too, having to keep up the image of eternally friendly idols who mevery girl would love to date. Altough that didn't stop my eomma from exchanging recipes with Seokjin-ssi when they met in front of the mailboxes, or Mi-soo breathlessly recapping whenever Hoseok-ssi or Namjoon-ssi smiled and said hi to her in the elevator. 

"Anyway, sorry again you had to hear that. I promise I'm not some hair-crazy creepy stalker obsessed with finding out what shampoo you guys use," I chuckled, scratching the back of my head. Wow, great first impression Shin-ae. 

Yoongi-ssi gave a slight heh at that. "Good to know. It's really nice up here, isn't it."

"Yeah. I normally come up here whenever I want someplace quiet to think, or ramble or just yell into the void, y'know?"

"Understandable. If you want to be left alone, then", he made as if to leave.

"No, no! It's fine, this is public space, I'm the one who shouldn't have been complaining like that."

"All good. Senior year, right? That's a stressful one."

"you graduated?" The word left my lips before I could think them through. Great. First I insulted his bandmate, then I implied he was stupid. Look, I wasn't the most impressed by BTS but I still tried to be at least passably polite with them, like I was with everyone, "Uh-I mean- Sorry - I wasn't implying-- "

Yoongi lifted a hand to stop my rambling, "No, I get that a lot. You're not the first, and you're hardly the rudest." 

"Still, I'm sorry. I know firsthand how much people's assumptions can hurt, and I didn't think." 

He looked at me for a while. I met his gaze evenly, wondering what he was thinking. "Okay," Yoongi-ssi said, and gave a slight smile. Then his smile took a wicked curve to it, more of a smirk, "speaking of assumptions, my bandmates seem to have completely conflicting impressions of you." 

Ah, busted. "All good, I hope?" I weakly smiled although I could feel my soul sinking.

"Well," Yoongi-ssi said, raising an eyebrow, "Taehyung and Jimin think that 'Shinae and Yoojung are amazingly awesome like us, while Hyunmin is the grouchy old-man friend like you', and Jeongguk thinks that you're unreasonable."

I had begun grinning at Taehyung and Jimin's words, but my exression immediatley soured once I heard the name "Jeongguk."

"Unreasonable!" I scowled, "And he's the picture of acoomodation?" 

Yoongi said nothing, only hummed at my response. Somehow, his silence made me feel like I had to apologize again.

"Look, I love Taehyung-oppa and Jimin-oopa, but truth be told, ever since you guys arrived my senior year has gotten a Lot more complicated. And Jeongguk has been the majority of those complications." 

Like our first tutoring session...

Jeongguk and I were seated next to each other at my dining table, a plate of cut fruit courtesy of my eomma between us. I stared in dismay at his quiz, not knowing where to start.

"What?" he snapped, "It's not like I have the time you do to study."

"And that's why I'm here," I smiled saccharinely at him, but glared daggers with my eyes. He could act at least a bit respectful towards me. 

"Just tell me the answers so I can get out of here." 

"That might help you for a day, but then what will you do for the next quiz? We have to work on this from the ground up." 

Jeongguk sighed, which, seriously? It's not like tutoring him was my life's passion. Still, when we got into it, he wasn't as bad a student as I thought he'd be. He took notes, listened, and had a pretty good grasp of the logic. Hopefully he could improve fast enough that I wouldn't have to do this for too long, and could get my reference letter without too much hassle. 

"And see, here, if you take the derivative earlier, then it's much easier to find the limit."

Jeongguk nodded, "But it's infinity over infinity. That shouldn't be possible."

"That's because you're thinking of infinity as a static number. It's more of a concept, and it's once you can work around it, since really, no one can prove infinity or comprehend it without going insane, then you can manipulate the limit the way you would any other. Like infinity in itself is so immeasurably infinite that you can't get caught up in it, but if you can just converge it to something manageable, then suddenly you can picture the graph, you can work with the limit." I paused, noticing a weird expression on Jeongguk's face, "What? Did something I say not make sense?"

"No, just I've never seen you this excited about anything." 

I reached for a slice of pear. "What can I say? I like math."

Jeongguk smirked, reach for a slice as well, "Nerd."

I scowled. "Jerk."

Our hands touched.

Startled we pulled away as if burned, I caught the tips of Jeongguk's ears turn pink as he ducked his head. I brushed the image away, even though it had already been burned into my brain. 

I was pulled out of my reverie by Yoongi-ssi's voice. 

"Jeongguk's the youngest out of all of us. He was into the idol life at such a young age, and he hasn't stopped since. I think we're all a little worried about him, especially since the company has the highest expectations for it's Golden Maknae. Being unreasonable," he paused, "maybe I'm biased but being unreasonable is an extent of those expectations. Everyone expects so much from Jeongguk, no one more than himself." 

I digested his words in silence. I hadn't thought what being the youngest might mean -- as an older sister, it was my responsibilty to take care of Mi-soo. But in the idol world, no one was looking out for you. You had to take care of yourself, combat years of experience with sheer talent and grit. 

"Anyway," Yoongi-ssi said, "I didn't come up here to lecture. Like I said, I'm not an old man."

I laughed at that, "Your skin looks as baby-soft as ever. And as for Jeongguk... thanks for telling me."

It wasn't that I agreed with Yoongi-ssi; in my book, a jerk was a jerk, regardless of reasons. I ahd already agreed to give Jeongguk a chance when I tutored him, it didnt' mean I was signing up to be his best friend. Not that Jeongguk would want that either. 

"No problem," Yoongi said, "It was getting pretty annoying listening to him complain too."

He smirked at that, so I knew he was joking. He had a pretty deadpan sense of humour. 

"Just promise you won't sneak into our apartment to cut of all our hair and sell it on the black market."

"I won't!" I shrieked, then smirked, "I'll just sell your address." 

Yoongi chuckled, "Why hair, anyway?"

"Uh... desparation?" I responded, "Uni apps are driving me insane, and anything that'll give me a leg up..." I trailed off.

"Fighting." This was delivered with utmost blank deadpan, and yet set me off into peals of laughter, leaving me feeling more relaxed. Yoongi cracked another smirk, and turned his head back to the sky. 

We lapsed back into silence, but this time, it wasn't so awkward. 

---

A/N: a wild yoongi appears (ft. hair from hwwh era because that's the best bts era, fight me) and an update in less than a year~ 

no preview this time since this story has taken on a life of it's own. saranghae!