It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, right? That’s what Woohyuk tells himself, anyway. But it doesn’t ebb the pain in any way. He really loved her…

                His friends tell him to forget her and all he does is nod, but if it was that easy, wouldn’t he have done it already? He thanks his friends for the concern they show and dismisses himself from the table. He walks outside the restaurant where the city’s nightlife had already begun. The sun had set about an hour ago and darkness began to creep in. looking up at the sky, he longed to see the stars again, but in a city like Seoul, there wasn’t a chance. He wonders if, somewhere, Gyuri was looking at the same night sky.

                “How long has it been?” a deep voice asked, and out of nowhere appeared Tony. He looked good for someone on leave from military duties. He looked better rested, anyway.

                Woohyuk sighed, “Almost two years.” They were silent for a while, both looking towards the sky. “Do you think she forgot about me?”

                Tony answered all too easily, “No.” Something tugged at Woohyuk’s heart but he said nothing. His stare was brought down from the sky to look at the pavement by his feet. Tony regarding his old friend and squeezed his shoulder. “Have you talked to her since then?”

                Woohyuk shook his head. “She must’ve changed her phone number.”

                Out of the blue, Tony declaired, “Come with me,” as he stepped forward to the edge of the side walk. He raised his hand to flag down a taxi. Woohyuk watched him, not understanding what he was expected to do. Tony succeeded in hailing a cab after a few minutes and exchanged a few words with the driver before standing straight. He looked at Woohyuk and asked, “Well? Are you coming or not?”

                Woohyuk considered his options and going with Tony to Lord knows where was more appealing than going back inside, so he climbed into the cab. “Where are we going?” he asked after a couple moments in silence. Tony didn’t answer but soon, it didn’t matter; they arrived. Tony paid the cab and the two got out. Looking up, Woohyuk became even more confused.

                They stood in front of a little, shabby-looking house that looked like it hadn’t seen care in a long time. Tony ignored Woohyuk’s questioning glances and rang the doorbell. A digitalized voice appeared out of an old, rusty intercom and asked, “Who is it?”

                “Hey, it’s me,” Tony responded, “Can you let me in?”

                There was no response but in a couple moments, the gate opened and in its place stood a girl. She was small and skinny, the clothes on her body were too big and hung limply off of her. She had a big smile on her face as she greeted Tony, but it fell when she saw Woohyuk. The girl ushered them inside more out of obligation than out of wanting them to come inside.

The three of them sat in her little living room in silence. Both men turned down her offer for drinks and now they just sat. “Gyuri,” Tony called her name softly, holding her shoulders firmly in both hands and Woohyuk was floored. This was Gyuri? “I think it’s time to end this little game.”

                Gyuri frowned and in a tired voice, she claimed, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Gyuri refused to make eye contact with Woohyuk, but Whoohyuk was not shy about staring at her. She wasn’t the same Gyuri, there was no way. The Gyuri he knew, the Gyuri he loved… this simply was not her. This girl was skinnier, more skin-on-bone than anything else. This girl had more pronounced cheekbones, paler skin and what he guessed was short, thin hair under a white beanie.

                “Of course you don’t,” Tony said, interrupting Woohyuk’s thoughts. “But you need to realize that you’re not the only person here suffering by this.” Tony’s stern voice shocked not only the girl but Woohyuk as well. He wasn’t used to hearing his friend use such tones with anyone, ever. It was shocking. “Now, I’ll leave if I must, if that’s what it’ll take for you to come clean, but this must end. Now.”

                With that, Tony left and the two were left in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, per se, but it certainly wasn’t the opposite. Gyuri was the one to break the silence. “How’ve you been?” it was a pretty basic icebreaker, but it did its job and that’s all either of them could ask for.

                “Same old, same old,” Woohyuk shrugged, “You?”

                Gyuri didn’t answer right away. She sighed and looked at him. “You look good,” she told him, “You haven’t changed much.” Woohyuk shrugged again, not knowing what else to do or what to say. This was his girl, the girl who suddenly up and left him two years ago, sitting right before him. he thought he’d have so much more to say to her, but nothing came to mind. With another sigh, Gyuri announced, “I have cancer.”

                Woohyuk just blinked. “…what?”

                “Yeah,” Gyuri replied dumbly, “I have cancer. That’s why I did what I did. You didn’t, and don’t deserve my baggage.”

                When Woohyuk could finally find words, the only one that came to him was “You’re stupid.” He ignored the indignant look that came across Gyuri’s thin face when the words registered in her brain. He, instead, crossed the floor until he stood in front of her, leaned down, and hugged her. It was the first time in a long time that he felt like this and he wasn’t going to let her go. Not again. not for the world.

end;

listeningto; Get your swag on - Tony & Smash