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Chapter 15: Bad Habit

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“Andong soju for both of us, and keep them coming.”

“Not for me, actually.”

“It’s okay. I’m buying. I owe you for helping me.”

“Thanks, but I don’t drink.”

I waited for him to push me, to pressure me, to argue that there was no reason not to. I waited, but it never came.

“She’ll take a Sprite.”

The bartender nodded in reply.

“I-”

“You don’t drink Sprite either?” he raised in eyebrow in a mocking gesture.

“No, Sprite’s fine. Thanks.” I directed my last statement at the bartender who handed me the frosty glass.

We sat for a while, drinking in silence as I glanced around the dimly lit room with its little bursts of melancholy lights and its shelves upon shelves of transparent vials. Some part of me had told me not to go into The Blue Bird with Jinyoung, but in a moment of curiosity I’d decided to go in anyway. Not to mention that I had helped him get here, and I knew I would inevitably feel responsible if he got too drunk and did something stupid.

At least we walked here. But drinking and driving isn’t the only bad combination when it comes to alcohol.

Upon entering, I was relieved that my anxiety seemed to stay under control. Usually, even the idea of walking into a business based solely off the sale of alcohol would be daunting at best, but tonight seemed different somehow.

Maybe after facing the piano, this will be like a walk in the park.

“So,” he interrupted my thoughts, “if you didn’t come inside to drink, you must’ve wanted something else,” he poured himself another small glass from the bottle of soju the waiter had brought over.

I thought it over before answering.

What do I want?

“I guess I was just curious. I’ve never been in a bar before.”

I want to test myself, but this time, I don't feel like backing out.

“How can you hate a place you’ve never been in?”

“Hmm?”

“Outside,” he nodded toward the door, “You said you hated bars.”

“I do.”

“But you’ve never been in one before?”

“Right.”

“Hmph,” he smiled, “you’re really good at evading questions, you know that?”

“I guess I’ve had a lot of practice,” I muttered in response, half to myself, as I clinked the ice around in my glass watching it melt.

“You're ty at answering them, but you have a lot of questions of your own?”

I don’t know whether it was the laid back atmosphere of the bar or the fact that Jinyoung was acting relatively nice for the first time since I’d met him, but, whatever it was, I felt myself loosening up a bit, “It’s strange, right? People usually come to college to get answers, but I feel like I’ve been collecting unsolved mysteries ever since I got here.”

He nodded, eyeing his empty glass, “Such as?”

What to ask and what not to ask...

I paused for a moment, contemplating where I should even start, “Okay, for starters, why are you suddenly being nice-ish to me? Well, maybe not nice, but less of a- well less of an .”

I expected him to get angry. In fact, I braced for it, but instead he just laughed. It was maybe the first time I had seen him laugh, really laugh. The corners of his eyes crinkled, and his hand instinctively went up to cover his mouth, “Honestly, I don’t know. I guess I don’t really see much use in being friendly toward people when I won’t be seeing much of them anyway. Between studying music and satisfying my drinking habits, I don’t have much time to worry about whether people like me or not. It’s irrelevant. Tonight, you helped me do one of the two. Maybe that’s why I’m being ‘nice-ish,’ or maybe I’m just bored.”

The way he said it, so matter-of-factly caused my brows to furrow slightly, but I pushed back, “You don’t make friends, because it’s useful. I think that’s called using people.”

“Okay, Ms. Twenty Questions, do I get to ask you one now?”

“I thought I was Noisy.”

“So you’re admitting it?”

“Is that your question?”

He smiled wryly, as he lazily refilled his glass. We spent a little more time in silence, leaving the unanswered question hanging in the air like the suspended blade of a guillotine. I could tell the alcohol was slowly beginning to seize control of him with each little drop, but he seemed to be handling it