☾

the next few days seemed to go by a lot faster, and better. the day after the incident with himchan, he’d been missing from classes; and the next day, and the next day. i gave up hope that i’d see him again, not that i necessarily wanted to anyway. i had to let go of what happened and not let it eat me alive. i continued to sit with jaebum and suwoong, who even introduced me to a few more faces around campus. it was nice being able to focus on my work and not have to worry about someone being angry at me for no given reason.

days went by after my arrival, and i’d yet to email my mom. hell, i’d forgotten to even check my email, much less have time to actually remember to write. i eventually got around to it, however, the friday evening that i’d got home from classes and youngwon had to stay late at work again.

i pulled my laptop from my bag and placed it on the desk, pulling the chair out and plopping down on it with a heavy huff. walking to school every day was really starting to get to me. maybe it was time to start driving here. the whirring and grinding sounds my computer made like it had to give it everything it had just to start up could also be an indicator that i might want to look into getting a new one soon.

it only took me a few clicks to get to my email. i had seven unread, three from my mom, the rest junk. i clicked on the oldest one first.

youngjae,

my mom wrote.

how are you doing? how’s youngwon? i hope you two are getting along. don’t forget to tell me all about your first day at your new college.

onto the next.

youngjae, have you forgotten about your mother? i hope you made it safely. i might have to get ahold of youngwon if you don’t respond soon. don’t let me keep worrying, dear.

i tried to read through the third one as fast as i could, afraid of making my mom wait any longer than she already had.

i’m one hour away from calling your brother. it’s been days, surely you’d be on the news had something gone wrong. i take it you’re busy with school. i love you.

another heavy sigh left my lips as i began typing a response, leaving it short and sweet. i was exhausted, too tired to bother with emailing anyone, regardless of it being to my mother.

i’m alright, i’m sorry, mom. i got distracted with school and jet lag has made my sleeping schedule sort of crazy, i’m sleeping a lot. youngwon and i are doing just fine. how are you and peter? have you started traveling yet? love you too, talk to you soon.

i pressed send and closed my laptop, almost tempted to pile into bed and sleep. i glanced at the clock beside me. 6:30pm. never mind.

about the same time that i’d stood up to head to the kitchen, i heard the faint noise of keys struggling to unlock the door from the other side. it didn’t take more than a minute of wiggling the knob and fumbling with his keys before youngwon entered the apartment, a wide smile spreading across his face at the sight of me.

“hey, youngjae!” he tossed his keys on one of the kitchen counters, tugging his jacket off after placing a plastic bag on the table. “how was school? did you eat yet? i brought food.”

i tried my best not to seem as tired as i truly was, smiling warmly and rubbing the side of my face. “it was alright,” i paused while rummaging through the bag, pulling each container of food out. “just the same as it has been every day, honestly. boring. how’s work treating you?”

youngwon scoffed and rolled his eyes, moving around the kitchen as if he were in a rush.

“work is a ,” he stated, cracking open a can of milkis. “my boss is annoying and likes to overwork everyone but himself. we’re trying to get three projects done in the same amount of time needed for one.”

i nodded, gazing over at him apologetically.

“that really stinks.” not only was he being overworked, but him being gone meant i was home alone more than i’d like to be. “do you think he’ll let up on you anytime soon?”

he shook his head, reaching for one of the containers and popping the lid off.

“nah,” he didn’t hesitate to force a mouthful of rice into his mouth. classy. “not until these projects are done, at least.” he paused to swallow. “but anyways, enough about me.”

youngwon looked at me, taking another container and opening it as if he were waiting for me to say something. i blinked and took turns looking at him as well as the bowl of meat he was holding.

“do you know of some doctor nearby who has like, three adopted sons? kinda weird?” i blurted out. i didn’t know what else to say.

he looked confused at first, but his expression quickly lightened. he took another bite and nodded.

“ah, doctor bang? he works at the hospital just a few blocks away.”

i listened and simply nodded in response. it was my turn to eat, since i figured i wouldn’t be doing much talking.

“have you ever met him?”

“i’ve only met him once, when i took my friend to the hospital after he fell down a flight of stairs when he was drunk.” he laughed, so it was safe to assume that said friend wasn’t badly injured. “he only sprained a wrist, but dr. bang took care of his x-rays and such. he seems like a cool guy.”

i nodded again, my face full of food. i spoke anyways.

“i have lunch with his sons,” how did youngwon manage to do this? i could hardly say a word without nearly spitting chunks of meat all over the place. i made sure to swallow before speaking again. “and class with one of them named himchan.”

youngwon couldn’t look more uninterested. “they’re good people,” did he mean it? “you should try talking to them, i bet you’d get along.”

i tried not to roll my eyes on my way to the garbage, tossing an empty container into it. “yeah,” i said, like i hadn’t tried to speak to one of them before and been completely shut down. “i’ll try talking to them soon.”

***

mondays are supposed to be horrible, because they’re mondays -- but mine was going strangely well. jaebum wasn’t at school, but i still had suwoong, and that was alright. my schedules felt like they were flying by, and before i knew it the day was nearly over.

“good luck today,” suwoong was smiling, but his voice showed that he was slightly nervous about something as we headed off to our shared class.

“good luck?” i blinked, a brow raised. “why are you saying that? do we have a pop quiz or some..” i trailed off and stopped walking, frozen in the doorway of the classroom. my monday was suddenly very, very bad.

there he was, stone cold himchan, sitting right beside my empty desk.

the same lump that had formed in my throat so many days ago was back and bigger than ever, suwoong and i exchanging glances -- but suwoong kept walking. he left me to stand there, by myself, preparing for certain doom.

i couldn’t stand there holding up traffic forever, but my feet felt like bricks on my way to my seat. i hardly made any kind of glances over to him as i sat down.

“excuse me,”

i froze.

why is he speaking to me? is he speaking to me?

i turned to look at him, and there were those gorgeous eyes staring back at me, a crooked smile on his face. my cheeks were most definitely debuting their trademark bright red color, but i did my best to pretend that it wasn’t happening.

“me?” was all i could manage to say.

“yes, you,” himchan laughed. his laugh was just as attractive as he was. “you must be youngjae.”

how did he know my name?

“how do you know my name?”

“i was walking by the office when you first got here.” his response was quick.

“oh, i didn’t even see you-”

“i know.”

damn. he’s gonna cut me off too, huh?

“i just wanted to apologize, for our first meeting. there was a.. family emergency, i couldn’t stay around any longer.” i felt like that was a lie for some reason. but that could’ve been my anxiety speaking.

“oh, um, it’s alright,” i said with a nervous smile, brushing my hair back. i couldn’t tell if this ‘try-to-act-cool’ act was working or not. “at least we get to meet now, right?”

he nodded, that stupid grin still on his face. please stop grinning, you stupid man.

“i’m kim himchan.”

“i know,” could my anxiety please chill out? blurting that out could -- will sound creepy. “i mean, like.. i heard the professor, doing roll call--”

“the professor doesn’t do roll call, youngjae.” i almost thought his expression was serious until he laughed a little. “people talk, i figured you’d know by name by now.”

i didn’t know what to say after being caught in a really bad lie. so i laughed instead. and that’s all.

the class went silent only moments after, the professor already beginning the lesson. today was a lecture, despite this being a creative writing class. i don’t know why i expected nothing but writing.

moments went by and i still hadn’t said a word to himchan. not only was i afraid of being busted and yelled at for speaking in class, but i was also afraid of himchan himself -- and he knew it.

i felt a folded piece of paper make it’s way under my pinky unexpectedly. i glanced over at the sender, the stupid, grinning idiot who i wanted to currently smack in the face. why’s he making me blush? is this normal?

i unfolded it quietly, nervously looking around while doing so. nobody seemed to notice, or care, for all that mattered.

are you afraid of me?

. he knew.

no. why?

i scribbled down my response and handed it back. i didn’t make eye contact with him, not even after getting it back.

you won’t look at me, and your face is blood red.

damn, is this guy some kind of sherlock holmes?

i’m not scared. i have low sodium intolerance. if i eat salt my cheeks turn red.
 

i knew he wouldn’t buy it.

what did you eat for lunch?

uhhhhh. i just a salt block.

hilarious.

he was laughing when he handed the note back, and it was safe to assume that i somehow managed to actually be funny for once. this went on for the rest of the class. it was obnoxious, but i didn’t want it to end. it seemed like passing notes was the only effective way to speak to himchan with confidence. i’d also assume it’s because speaking with confidence is a lot easier when you have a few minutes to actually think of what you’re going to say instead of being pressured to respond right away.

the classroom suddenly filled with volume again, students gathering their things, talking to each other and getting ready for their next classes. i hadn’t even heard the professor announce that class was dismissed, but i guess that’s what i deserve for having my head up himchan’s for the past 90 minutes.

“goodbye, youngjae,” his voice was low when he spoke to me. his tone nearly sent a shiver down my spine. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”

“bye,” my tone was nothing compared to his, soft and thin like you could break it in half over your knee. “i’ll see you.” my heart had dissipated. my stomach nothing but a swarm of butterflies. my legs felt like noodles. why, and how was kim himchan doing this to me?

i hardly had time to recuperate before suwoong was at my side again, slapping me on the back.

“youngjae! how’d it go, eh? i saw you guys talking, felt bad for you. did he say anything creepy?”

“no, he’s a good guy,” i didn’t feel like talking, i wanted to get through the rest of my day and go home. “i’ll see you around, okay? bye!”

i didn’t give him time to answer. i grabbed my things and left.

***

the conversation i had with himchan was on my mind for the rest of the day, as expected. the only remaining classes i had left were two that i already knew were easy passing grades for me, so i could easily zone out without being left too far behind. i was thankful that they went by quickly.

i said my goodbyes and parted ways with suwoong for the last time of the day after bumping into him on my way out. we walked together to the parking lot, and i waved him off. he drove a beat up car that had been a hand me down from his dad, and it made me feel a little better about having a car from my dad’s friend. at least mine was in better condition.

kim himchan drives a lexus. i only knew this because i happened to see him with his brothers in the parking lot, all standing by what i assumed to be their own vehicles. they must come from a rich family. it made me feel jealous, and i couldn’t stop staring despite my efforts not to. i managed to keep getting glimpses of the three of them standing there, talking, laughing.. enjoying themselves. it made me feel good to see them smiling, as if they were close friends of mine.

the loud blaring of a car horn dragged me back to reality within seconds -- i’d nearly walked out into the middle of traffic, and i quickly waved and apologized at least a thousand times to the person driving the car that almost hit me. i kept my head down and rushed off towards the sidewalk that took me home. but from the corner of my eye, i could’ve sworn i saw himchan look at me -- and he laughed.

***

[ t/n: CONGRATS u made it through another (short T_T) chapter of this outrageous thing i'm writing and i'd like to thank u for it <3333 ]