A/N: Some of you requested for Joohyun's POV so without further to do, let's get starteddd

Btw nuggets this is the last chapter (boooo) please read the author's note at the end :) thank you so much!!

-

I let another tear slide down my pale cheeks as I looked down at a clump of my own hair clutched in my palms. I didn't like being cold and rude towards Seulgi. She's innocent. 

But I couldn't help it. It wasn't like I asked for this to happen to me in the first place. Who wants to suddenly get news from your doctor that you've been diagnosed with stage four leukemia? 

I've been spending a lot of time away from Seulgi and I know she gets hurt when I ignore her... but seeing her everyday makes me die a little more because I know I'm going to die sooner or later and I have to distance myself from her so I wouldn't get too attached. That would only make me more unwilling and scared to die. 

"Unnie... are you.. okay?" Came a soft voice from the other side of the door, together with light knocking. I sniffled, wiping my tears away and refraining myself from letting out another sob. "I- I'm alright Wendy... just- give me a second." I threw the bunch of hair into the dustbin at the corner of the toilet and stood in front of the mirror. 

My face had gotten paler, my hair is falling off little by little because of the medication I have to take everyday. Why did God have to do this to me? 

Why was God so cruel? 

I slowly unlocked the door and walked out only to be greeted by Wendy who was looking at me with worried eyes. "Unnie, it's already midnight. You should head home and rest.. Seulgi must be worried sick about you-"

"Don't talk about her." I raise my hand up weakly, tears already welling up in my bloodshot eyes. "I don't want to remember." She choked out. 

The car ride back was silent, other than the soft music playing from the car radio. "Stop here please Wendy.." I said while looking out of the window. Seulgi and I's house was about a street away from where Wendy's car was located, but I didn't want her to stop right in front of our house. That would make Seulgi heart broken and to be honest I hate seeing her this sad because I'm already being so cold towards her. 

"Okay.. take care of yourself. I'll meet you in the office tomorrow." I smiled at Wendy and nodded at her reply. With that, I got out of the car and made my way home. The cold winds that blew against my body harshly and I shivered, tightening my grip on my coat. I wonder if Seulgi's been taking care of herself well... I don't want her to get sick. 

As usual, once I reached home, I saw her sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her body. "O- oh Joohyun you're home-" before she could finish, I was already walking past her and rushing into what used to be our room -which was now just mine- and locking it. My hand was clutched over my mouth to refrain from my sobs being heard from Seulgi. She didn't need to know that.. I don't want her to know that. 

—

. I regret everything. I hate my life, I hate myself. Why did I do that to her? 

I immediately pushed Wendy away from me. She looked confused for a second but once she saw Seulgi standing at the door to my office with tears streaming down her face, it hit her. I didn't know what went through my head. Was it because I miss