“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” 
― George Orwell

 

The questions had started once the video was over. Why weren’t all the members there? It was easier to answer it when you focused on Choi Seunghyun’s absence. The reason was near the surface, the answers were easier to find. But not for Seungri. Which led to a multiple of speculations around the lack of a message from someone who overall you would have thought was, at least, close enough to be there, on the screen. Jiyong laughed at all of it. It was amusing how close and yet so away from the truth most of them were when it was related to them.

He saw the screen lit up from the backstage. The screams of multiple of fans, the blinding lights of thousands of lightsticks all sparkling at the same time. The face of his friends and parents appeared one after the other. All of them answering the same two questions.

Who is Gdragon to you?

Who is Kwon Jiyong to you?

Even his own father had seemed appalled when he was asked the second question. For most of them, the difference was not relevant, and Jiyong appreciated them for it. They had treated them equally since the beginning. Then why was he asking such a question? The fans had thought he was dealing with identity problems, that he had trouble dealing with fame. That was not the truth. The two questions had been created and crafted to reveal something beyond himself. They were there to show the most important truth he had to give, so far.

The concert started with a feel of finality. The last of these many concerts. Finally, the last piece would be shown, the last piece to solve such a convoluted puzzle he had been giving, one by one, to all his fans. He smiled at the crowd, knowing that somewhere within all those unrecognizable faces there was one, one that would receive the full meaning of such a smile. He knew that person was there today. There for him, for them.

Screams went louder when he finished the last song. All lights went off. The whole stadium turned into darkness, only lightened by those sparkling lights in front of him. And then the screen behind him lit up. Jiyong kneeled on the floor, breathing. He wouldn’t hide the fact he was scared, that his heart was stammering inside his chest with the knowledge of what was about to happen. He took once again a deep breath and grasped between his hands the necklace hanging around his neck.

Who is Gdragon to you?

The question appeared on screen, followed by the always cheerful face of BIGBANG’s beloved maknae.

“Ah!” Seungri nodded, smiling, “The hero in my life” he laughed, pathetically. Then he turned serious, “He is the greatest leader I know. I own him too much. He is the greatest. I look up to him.” Seungri finished, with a playful smirk on his face and then screamed, “Oppa!” which owned him a round of screams from the fans in front of Jiyong.

Who is Kwon Jiyong to you?

Seungri’s face paled and he looked to the side as if looking for an answer from someone behind the camera. Then he focused his eyes again on the screen. But this time his face had no longer the confidence usual of him, he appeared hesitant, almost scared. He kept playing with his hands over his lap.

“Well…” Seungri murmured, an almost tender smile graced his lips for a quick moment.

Jiyong breathed in and out. They had talked about it. The last thing Jiyong wanted is to force Seungri into something he did not feel comfortable to do. But Seungri’s answer had been unexpected. He looked proud, relieved and had said yes instantly; as if he had been waiting for such a moment to come. And he probably had been.

“Jiyong?” asked Seungri once again and then sighed, “He… He is the love of my life. He is…” Seungri voice cracked and then he lifted his right hand in the air and showed it to the camera, “He is my fiancée.”

And Jiyong for the first time in all his career allowed himself to breathe the freedom of being. He allowed himself to cry, protected by the darkness around him. And then he lifted his eyes to focus at the right far of the stadium, where he knew those same hazel eyes were looking right at him, equally as proudly as he now felt.

Jiyong stood up. All lights , the camera focused on his blushed face and still red eyes. And with the sincerest smile, he could give he bowed.

“Thank you,” he said to the mic, “I love you too.”

And then, all light went off once again. The moment of truth had ended.