Chanyeol isn't fast enough. By the time he processes the fact that Baekhyun is loose on the streets, in less than a thin layer of clothes, for an unknown reason, it's too late. His soft black hair shakes in the wind, and his body is around the corner.

Something inside him clicks when he sees Baekhyun run, when the lithe figure of his dream boy is sprinting down the street. Chanyeol watches from the window, shocked, stupefied. He can't breathe. 

Something about it -- the desperate way Baekhyun is running, the casual rip of Chanyeol's heart -- reminds him of that time. The time when his dad took Yoora and left and never came back. 

Chanyeol had only been five then. He'd always imagined himself standing up for his mom when they argued, yelling at his dad to just leave. Sometimes the screaming grew too loud and he'd cover his ears in an attempt to ignore it, but every time he couldn't hold in the anger that bubbled inside. He never was good at hiding impulses, especially when he could hear his mom crying and arguing back.

It was times like those -- the hard times, as Chanyeol's mind referred to them, how he filed them deep in the corners of his memory -- that he'd imagine sprinting at his dad, yelling, screaming, throwing a fit. In his head he always won, always made mom stop crying and dad say sorry. For a skinny, too-tall five year old, however, that kind of vision stayed only as a vision. 

Although he often thought it, though he cursed his dad out in the most vicious way a five year old could, in his heart he never expected it to really happen. The day he woke up to another argument, rain drizzling outside. It was almost his birthday, he remembers. 

That day was different. Something inside Chanyeol clicked that morning, the same way it just clicked with Baekhyun. His heart felt too nervous. He knew something was wrong, and he couldn't stop anything from happening when the yelling finally ceased and he heard car doors closing. From his perch next to his window, he watched his father and Yoora climb into the car solemnly, bags packed.

Even though Yoora was his step-sister to begin with, she was there for him as long as his young brain could remember: a companion, someone to hold him when the arguments got too loud. Chanyeol thinks they may have taken a piece of his heart with them. 

He cried for two weeks straight after. No matter how many times his mother tried to convince him he was guilt-free, Chanyeol believed all those times he'd imagined yelling at his father were the reason. Physically, he recovered, but Chanyeol never really got over the way his dad and Yoora were gone before he could wipe the sleep off of his eyes. 

And watching Baekhyun bolt out of his life took a chunk of his heart all over again.

-- 

It's been three days. Chanyeol can't eat, can't sleep. When he does sleep, he dreams of Baekhyun's smiling face and wakes up in a panic, arms reaching out for a boy that's long gone. He doesn't even know what caused the sudden run. His heart aches, burns, at the thought that his dumb dream was the breaking point.

He'd live his entire life in secrecy if it guaranteed Baekhyun's safety.  

"You look like absolute , hyung. Do you want me to walk you to the nurse?" Sehun inquires quietly, almost gently. It's weird for Sehun to reserve this much compassion for Chanyeol, especially this early in the morning, unless something major has happened. 

"No, I'm okay," he insists. He's not. 

Chanyeol has searched every possible place he could think of. He went to the park, through the woods, around his neighborhood, and even took a bus to inspect the nearest neighboring town. No Baekhyun. No soft black hair and twinkling eyes; no glowing skin and shimmering smiles. 

"Is it Baekhyun?" Sehun asks, looking at the unoccupied desk next to Chanyeol. The younger boy sounds genuinely sorry for him, and it shakes Chanyeol into a state of sadness he hadn't planned to show. It's the feeling you get when someone asks if you're okay, and then suddenly you realize you aren't. 

"I can't find him," Chanyeol whispers. He slams his head down onto his arms, resting upon the desk. "I never told you, but he was staying with me." 

Sehun's eyebrows shoot into his hairline. Half pity, half curiousity. "Why?" he asks slowly, cautiously. 

"He never really told me much. He doesn't have anywhere else to go, Sehun. What if he's out there, dead?" 

Sehun has no words of comfort. Really, what do you tell someone who's that out of it and devastated? Instead, he tries to pry more information out of his best friend, tries to find out more of the situation. 

"What happened? Why did he leave?" 

Chanyeol shakes his head morosely, eyes tearing up, and turns to stare at the wall. Sehun drops the subject with a soft pat on top of Chanyeol's left hand. 

-- 

Baekhyun is out of breath. He's tired of walking and running and moving, especially when it's so bright outside and his mind is telling him to sleep sleep sleep, but he has nowhere to go if he stops moving. 

So he trudges on, barefoot, into the cold mud. It doesn't bother him much, even though he knows it should. Even though the cold never truly affected him, he misses the face Chanyeol makes when he fears Baekhyun is too cold. He misses the soft warmth of Chanyeol's blankets, the smell of the taller after he showers, and the sound of someone breathing in the night. He misses Chanyeol, more specifically. 

He knows he shouldn't, especially after the dream revelation, but his mind is telling him to sleep and then go find Chanyeol. Be warm and eat that nice soup that he doesn't need, find an excuse to hold onto Chanyeol's soft sleeve, take a hot shower so that he can put on an oversized hoodie and watch Chanyeol smile at him. 

No, he chides himself, I need to focus on going home. I can't stay here forever. 

He has no way to go home. And after hearing about Chanyeol's dream, he wonders if he ever will. Is this allowed? he wonders, almost hopefully. He'd grown accustomed to big hands and a deep voice. He wonders if he even really wants to go home.

Jongdae had never told him anything about this. He'd heard about coming here, but he'd never heard of what happened if he stayed. He blames himself because he allowed himself to get swept up, to act like he really belonged in school. But when he'd seen Chanyeol standing there, smiling, joking around with classmates, his heart had jumped. Something inside of him told him follow him and get close to him he's so warm and his hands are soft but rough and his smile is the prettiest in the world and he will help you. 

He thought it was intuition, but now he fears it could be something bigger. 

He guesses his subconscious wins over his feet, proven by the fact that he's within blocks of Chanyeol's house. Why did I do this? he wants to scream. I'm not allowed to do this. Baekhyun, you're ruining everything. Nothing good will come of this. 

His inner monologue is cut off, though, when he sees Chanyeol and Sehun walking slowly down the street perpendicular to his. Baekhyun is quick to jump to the side, hiding behind a bush. It seems comical, but the thumping of his heart resembles one of the main character in a thriller. He's so scared, mostly because he wants to run to Chanyeol and apologize and tell him everything. 

Is that allowed? he asks himself over the pounding of his heart. 

Chanyeol looks awful. Baekhyun's not a great judge of human beauty, much less healthiness, but he knows that Chanyeol's natural glow is dim. He knows that something is wrong, and he has a sneaking suspicion that it has to do with him. Voices carry across empty streets and harsh winter wind, letting Baekhyun overhear snippets of their conversation. 

"You looked everywhere?" Sehun asks, deep voice going high in surprise. 

"You wouldn't even believe. Everywhere," Chanyeol sighs out, shoulders shaking in the cold. 

Baekhyun knows what they're talking about. He wants to cry looking at the tired, shivering boy walk down the road. He feels like . He did this to Chanyeol. 

"What about your mom? Did she put out a missing persons report?" 

"No, not yet. She had to wait two days in order for him to be 'missing.' Today when she went to file, they couldn't find his name in the database," Chanyeol shrugs lightly, though the weight is evident on his shoulders. "They think it's because he just moved, maybe his files got mixed up. I don't know. I just hope he's alive. It's my fault." 

Baekhyun wants to scream that he's alive, that he's sorry, but he can't. He doesn't even know what's happening right now, and if he'll ever be able to figure it out or go home. He's panicking in a different way, one that he can't get Chanyeol involved in. 

"Didn't you say he was fine sleeping in the cold? Maybe he's better in cold temperatures, hyung. I'm sure he's okay." 

Baekhyun can hear the lies in Sehun's voice from meters away. He thinks it's sweet, though, that Sehun is trying to trick Chanyeol into relaxing. 

"His hands were so cold! That's why I brought him back!" Chanyeol shakes his head too quickly, too violently. Baekhyun watches Sehun wipe tears off of the taller's cheeks and he feels a twinge of something in his stomach. He wants to wipe Chanyeol's tears. He wants to make the tears go away altogether. 

The pair is around the corner, headed towards Chanyeol's house. Baekhyun breathes harshly, wanting them to turn around so he can hear the rest of the conversation. Something about the desperation in Chanyeol's voice when he talked about Baekhyun's cold hands makes his stomach churn.

For once, Baekhyun heeds the voice inside his head begging to see Chanyeol, to apologize, to tell him. 

Is this allowed? his brain questions once again. At the thought of Chanyeol's warm hands and the tears slipping down his face, Baekhyun decides. I don't care. 

-- 

After dinner, Chanyeol lays in the dark. He knows that it's not helping anything -- knows that he's only allowing himself to stay depressed -- but when the sun goes down at four in the afternoon, there's not much searching he can do. 

It's then that he hears a soft knock on his window. Chanyeol shoots up, scared, and runs toward his door. He's not about any demon , especially when his room is completely dark. 

It comes again, this time slightly louder. Chanyeol thinks he might pee himself if he pulls back the curtain, but he's also overwhelmingly curious. In a brief moment of bravery, he tiptoes to his window and yanks back the curtain. 

There's nothing. He breathes a sigh of relief, shaky knees wobbling him back into a regular standing position. And then it happens again. The knock. 

But this time it's from a rock on the window, and suddenly everything makes a little bit more sense. Chanyeol peers out the window, squinting. 

When he sees soft black hair and muddy feet by his front porch, he almost screams. Sometimes Chanyeol curses his giant legs, but it's times like these he's thankful, because he can run down three stairs at once without losing balance. He finds himself at the front door within seconds, and it's opened to reveal a slightly disheveled Baekhyun. 

Chanyeol almost cries with relief and immediately pulls the boy in by the wrist. Baekhyun melts into the heat of Chanyeol's hand and Chanyeol's house and Chanyeol's body, standing on his tippy toes to wrap skinny arms around the other's neck. 

Chanyeol shuts the door as quickly as he opened it, one arm wrapped around the cold boy. Baekhyun inhales the warmth of Chanyeol, mind racing with I shouldn't do this I shouldn't do this I shouldn't do this. 

The hug is interrupted by Chanyeol abruptly pulling apart, eyes scanning for wounds and bruises on the shorter boy's body. When he finds none, he smiles a tiny, watery smile and leads Baekhyun upstairs silently. 

Chanyeol doesn't ask for an explanation, thank goodness, and instead opts for practically pushing Baekhyun into the bathroom. 

"Take a hot shower. I'll grab you the warmest clothes I have and some leftovers." 

It's an order, not a suggestion, and Baekhyun nods softly, thinking of the tears that trailed down the taller's cheeks that very afternoon.

By the time he's out from an admittedly pleasant hot shower -- he's getting used to these-- Chanyeol has somehow put a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and socks on the bathroom counter. 

When he walks in wearing the overly warm articles of clothing, Chanyeol looks up as if he's just seen an angel. A giant smile breaks out across his face and he motions Baekhyun closer, pointing to a bowl of steaming noodles. Baekhyun struggles for a minute with the chopsticks, but Chanyeol's shown him before, and so he tries his best to avoid splashing broth on anything of Chanyeol's.

Chanyeol is extremely quiet, almost as if he's scared to say anything. Baekhyun knows he should start. 

He puts down his bowl and takes a deep breath, looking in Chanyeol's eyes. He's scared and self-conscious and maybe kind of wants to just go to sleep and act as if he'd never run away, but he knows he can't. He needs to give Chanyeol a reason; he needs to explain why he ran away. Why he made him cry. 

"I . . ." Baekhyun's slim, pale fingers drum a pattern on Chanyeol's bedspread. "I have a lot to tell you."  

---------

im BACK!!! school has made me want to die lmao. but im still surviving & thats all that matters!!!!!1

i hope u guys like this one...... what do yall think is up with bbh 👀👀👀 i'd love to hear ur theories!

also, if u liked it pls comment, upvote, subscribe, bookmark, blah blahblah yall know. if u liked it, it means a lot if u show it!!! i love u guys goodnight thanks for reading if u do <3333