For the first time in my ty life i can say that i'm truly happy.

I've been asked out by Jungkook.

He's the best thing that ever happened to me.

I mean out of all the girls he could have dated he chosed me.

To be honest i'm afraid....that i'll wake up and he'll be gone.

I'm afraid that one day he'll leave me because of how broken i am.

I can't be fixed.

I spent years...

convincing myself that I was getting better

but i'm not

my friends think i'm fine

my docter thinks i'm fine

strangers think i'm fine 

sometimes even i think i'm fine

i'm not fine at all

i don't know how much longer i can pretend.

Maybe i'm selfish for keeping him by my side.....he deserves more than this......he deserves a better lover....someone who isn't disgusting

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-........someone who isn't me.