Mirror, mirror on the wall 
Ruthless to your victim 
Suiting you becomes my love
Tied to my reflection

Skinny - Edith Backlund

~~~~~~~~~

Through the mirror, there was a tiny voice, spewing out negative feedback every time someone stared at it. Or at least, that's how it was like in Haechan's case. This morning, the morning before that and probably even the next morning. Haechan hates that tiny voice.

Staring at his grim reflection, Haechan hears that ugly tiny voice again, "Why are you still so fat, just stop eating it'll solve everything."   He sighes, and turnes away quickly, not wanting to repeat what happend yesterday with Jeno.

Haechan was really getting worried about Jeno, why was he practicing so often? He asked Jeno about what happend, but he just kept quiet.

Putting on something he hopes wouldn't make him seem fat, Haechan hurries downstairs. He had made plans with Renjun today, to go to the local fun fair.

As he got downstairs, he saw Renjun sitting on the sofa waiting for him. "Sorry, I'm done now" Haechan says, putting his left shoe on while sitting on the floor. "It's okay, have you eaten? We don't have to hurry" Renjun replies looking at Haechan. 

"Yeah, I ate breakfast" He lies, having eaten nothing since yesterday's breakfast. He wishes he also didn't eat yesterday, but everyone was there so it would've been hard to lie. 

As Haechan's stomach rumbles, he quickly coughs to cover it up. Not looking at Renjun, he stands up after tying his shoelaces and picks up his bag. "If you want, we can go right now, I've got everything."

Renjun then also stands up with his own bag already on his shoulder and they both head out the door. 

While walking on the street, Renjun and Haechan were both quiet, both caught up in their own world. Haechan looks down at his shirt and sees that his belly is somehow sticking out. Frowning, he his stomach in and puts a hand on his belly covering it from the public. He then glances to his right, and is bombarded with pictures of perfect models and advertisements for plastic surgery. Which just reminded him of how he went to talk to the CEO yesterday.

___

"So, can I do it?" Haechan askes Kim Youngmin, the CEO of SM Entertainment.

"Why would you want to do it?" Youngmin replies, just moments before, Haechan begged him to take him to plastic surgery and skin whitening. "You know a lot of fans will notice the difference right?"

To make myself look pretty, Haechan thought to himself, but of course he said something different to the CEO.

"I read a lot of comments from the fans, they said that I should do it." 

Youngmin thought for a while, staring at the ground. It was 2 full minutes later when he replied, "No, they'll notice and a lot of people will blame me for forcing a child into surgery."

"But.."

"No means no, that's my final decision."

___

Shaking his head, Haechan notices that while lost in memory they have reached the fun fair. In spite of not feeling very well, he smiles. It's been a while since he's been to one, and he's ready to have some fun with his best friend. He and Renjun exchanged glances, and walk to the nearest rollercoaster. 

After 4 different rides, they decided to take a rest and went to get ice cream. "One strawberry ice cream for me please and what do you want?" Renjun says to the person behind the counter and turns to Haechan with a smile, who was staring intensly at the different flavors.

"I'll uhhh...I'll get nothing, not really hungry" Haechan says with a nervous smile, mentally rejecting the delicious ice cream that was luring him in. 

Even though he was really super hungry, lately he has been getting better at rejecting foods and lying to people about it. Saying he wasn't hungry or that he already ate. He even stopped drinking carbonated drinks, since he read that they had a lot of sugar that would make you fat, and that was a big no no.

"Okay...I'll buy you something later then" Renjun says and shoots him an unsure look, while paying and taking his ice cream. Saying thank you to the cashier, they both walk and walk untill they finally see an empty bench. Sitting down, Renjun turns to look at Haechan who was looking through his bag for his water bottle.

"Are you really not hungry, here you can have the rest" Renjun says holding up his ice cream that was half gone. Taking a sip from his water botle, Haechan shakes his head and pretends to be busy with his bag. He hears Renjun sigh and feels his eyes prickle. 

"Haechan.." 

"Why haven't you been eating lately?"

And there it goes, his secret was out.

"I just..I just don't feel hungry nowadays" Haechan lies, looking at Renjun, then at the ground and then to his left. 

"You know I'm not dumb right?" Haechan could hear that Renjun was beginning to get mad.

"You're always lying to me, stop lying Haechan. And why are you starving yourself for anyways?" 

Haechan hears Renjun picking up his bag angrily and loudly stomping away. " Wait, Renjunnie!" Haechan shouts looking at his retreating figure. He blinks his eyes a couple of times and tries to ignore the stares strangers are giving him. 

Today was supposed to be fun

And of course, Haechan was the one to ruin it all again. Renjun will most likely be returning home and Haechan doesn't want to face him right now so he decided to go take a walk at the park that was right by the fun fair.

While walking, Haechan takes out his water bottle and notices that it was already empty. Putting his thirstiness aside, he continues walking. Feeling a bit lightheaded he decides to stop for a while and goes to sit on a bench.

Suddenly, Haechan feels his head spinning and tries to stand up. All he remembers next was falling and a painfull feeling on the side of his head.

___

Beep

Beep

Beep

Opening his eyes slowly, Haechan is faced with a white room. Looking down, he notices that he is lying in a bed, with white bedsheets, which were not his own.

Why am I in a hospital?

Seeing something small stir out of the corner of his eye, he turns and finds Renjun staring at him with teary eyes.

"I'm sorry" they both mutter at the same time after a moment of silence.

Renjun takes Haechan's hand and gives it a tight sqeeze.

Even when the doctor comes and tells Haechan he had fainted due to extreme undernourishment, Renjun was still holding his frail hand in his own.