December can be a hard time for a foreigner in a country alone, especially when you really can’t afford to go back home for the holidays. Astro is about to debut any day now with their first comeback getting polished, Na Byeong-jun says he wants to have Astro debuting in the first quarter of 2016 meaning we were on a very tight leash, staff and the boys. I tried not to let my holiday blues show at work in order to keep the boys in the best mindset for their inevitable debut but as the days got longer and longer and the 25th and 31st creeped closer and closer I could feel my chest ache in sadness, it was hard to hide.

“Manager Noona what’s wrong?” I heard a family voice ask a familiar and soft featured face appear in front of mine his eyes searching mine with curiosity and concern. 

“Ah Jinjin nothing, sorry I was just lost in thought...” I let the sentence fall off quietly before letting my body fall softly against the wall of one of the many dance rooms Fantagio has for its groups I could hear the Hello Venus girls practicing in the room behind me.

“Ah Noona what’s really wrong I know you when you’re lost in thought you don’t frown like that!” Rocky buts in leaning against the wall beside me a lot harder then necessary the sounds of a couple bangs on the wall telling him to be gentler. I hate feeling like I’m burdening the boys with my problems I mean that’s not apart of their job and besides they’re younger then me, what kind of Noona would I be?

“I don’t want to worry you guys before your debut—” I get cut off by all the boys running and knocking the wind out of me with a big group hug. I couldn’t help but smile a little, they were so caring. I can’t help but laugh after hearing a storm of fists pounding the wall as all of Hello Venus (I assume) tell Astro to be stop pounding against the wall. 

“Noona seriously what’s wrong?” I sigh as I give in to their concern. 

“It’s almost Christmas and New Years and this is my first year alone for these holidays, I’m just a lil bummed out about it but it shouldn’t matter cause I’ll be busy scheduling for your upcoming events since you’re getting pretty popular even before your debut I don’t need you guys to worry I’ll  be okay!” I rushed through my speech in a single breath my shoddy korean just barely understood by the boys. They seemed confused at first but then remembered that they have the 25th off and that the 31 is a Saturday this year. 

“Noonaaa come spend Christmas with one of us!”  Eun woo suggests immediately pointing to Sanha “Sanha and JinJins family live in Seoul so you wouldn’t have to leave the city to go all the way to Cheongju, Gunpo, Jinju or Suwon like us. You shouldn’t be alone during the holidays!” He smiled so big at his brilliant idea of dumping me on some of the boys it was cute.

”Thank you my sweet Dongminnie, but I’m not sure that’s the best idea like I said I just miss my family I can just call them if I get lonely it’s really not a big deal. I know that some of my expat friends are having a get together but I’ll be busy with work, but I do appreciate the sentiment. It’s something I was well aware of feeling when I agreed to work at Fantagio as a foreigner i really do appreciate you all, you’re like my family away from home!” I reach to pull them back into a hug as I fall against the wall harder then last and like. Clockwork the shower of banging filled the wall making it shake.

”do it back come on!” I say turning to pound the wall. The boys all follow pounding their fists against it a war of pounding ensuing. The practice room door swung open revealing Hello Venus’s Choreographer, she wasn’t at all happy. We all stopped and bowed in apology before she chewed us out and left. We laughed about it afterwards. 

They were my boys, my second family, mine. And it felt good feeling like I belonged in a home so far from home.