they know almost everything about each other; what turns the other on, her insecurities, his past mistakes...

... and maybe that was precisely their problem. they knew too much about each other, so much so, that they knew how to hurt each other in the most painful way they knew how.

"why do you keep on comparing me to her?" she whispered at him, unable to hide the hurt she felt from his words.

when she had brought up the new dating rumours with jimin, taeyong merely shrugged it off and said he must have been joking around with her. to make things worse, he, again, compared her to joohyun. 

always, always he compared seulgi to her. she's always felt assured of herself, so she hated that he kept on comparing her to the immeasurable beauty that is her joohyun unnie. after knowing each other for so long, she definitely didn't care all that much for his looks at this point. if she wanted to love someone for that person's looks or something equally superficial like money, she could have just replied to cnblue's jonghyun -- he had been wanting to meet up with her for a long time now.

but she wasn't like that, she was never like that, so she hated how taeyong was slowly turning into someone she barely knew anymore. 

he almost looked apologetic, but it was too late for apologies now. "i'm not -- i'm not hurting you. can't you see that i'm only saying these things because i care for you? babe, i just want you to be better." his voice, which used to be her ultimate source of comfort, stung her with its venom.

but he wasn't the only one who could bite.

"how can you say that when you can barely handle your own group?" she backed away from him."taeyong, you're the leader, and you can't even control your own members. how do you expect to be the next exo--"

"don't ing say it!" he shouted. his usual, gentle demeanor, shattered, much like his ego. "do not ing say those words to me."

she knew immediately that she had crossed the line. she knew he was extra sensitive especially since they had just heard their fellow former sm rookies member hansol joined a competition show for tv, yet she still said those hurtful words to him. she regretted it almost immediately.

she hated how vengeful she can be when she was with him.

seulgi went up to him and his face, all scrunched up in frustration. "i'm so sorry. i didn't mean any of what i said at all. i was just so hurt from what you said that i couldnt stop those words from coming out of my mouth."

he leaned his face on her gentle hands as he kissed her palm. "i'm sorry if i hurt you, too. i just really, truly love you and i only want you to become the best."

"but how do you know what's best for me, tae? aren't you asking for too much?" her voice cracked.

he quickly kissed her tear-stained cheeks. "no, babe, i would never... let's talk about it next time, okay? we rarely get a day off together like this. i don't want to spoil the view, either."

and indeed it was a fantastic view. right before them was seoul with all its high-rise buildings, and even visible was the han river where she and taeyong had many of their secret rendezvous back when they were trainees.

however, she still found this beautiful pill hard to swallow because it just seemed, as of late, that they kept on hurting each other with words that are harder and harder to forgive and almost impossible to forget.

taeyong wrapped his arms around her as they admired the view. she didn't want to think about the trouble their managers had to go through just to get them to this hotel without getting caught. the amount of people she kept on troubling for this relationship only grew by day, and she was sure one of them would spill eventually.

she understood, she truly did -- taeyong is to be the next chanyeol, or baekhyun, or jongin, or whoever, so it's important that he never gets into a dating scandal. and, she wanted to sigh out loud, it was also difficult for her. her fans and the media have already portrayed her as an innocent, hardworking person. how would they react if they found out that all this time, she has been dating her hoobae for almost five years now?

she wanted so badly to escape from the reality where it felt incomplete to be without him, but felt miserable whenever she was. it was a neverending rollercoaster, but she couldn't deny that still loves him through all the madness.

she thought she couldn't bear it the most if he ever let go.

taeyong sent light kisses from her neck to her bare shoulders. "you're overthinking again."

she craned her neck as she whispered a moan. "i'm just so worried, tae."

his grip on her tightened as his kisses became less innocent. "you're here, i'm here, no one knows about us, and we've got the world under our feet. stop worrying, seul."

she closed her eyes as she let her desires consume her. "as long as we have each other..."

yes, as long as they had each other...

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a couple of days later, seulgi was back in reality, in the practice room. she and the girls were practising for their upcoming festi