he kissed her with a taste so familiar to her, yet was so new every time she had a taste.

she couldn’t get enough of him.

he reached for her bare midriff as he firmly enveloped his hands around her back.

she held on to his shoulders for dear life, and oh how he took her breath away.

he took a momentary break from their kiss as he caressed her face, semi-concealed in the darkness of the dimly lit hallway. “you always look so beautiful.” he said softly.

even in the darkness, even when he’s said those words more than a hundred times to her already, her heart skipped a beat nonetheless. his piercing eyes softened as he stared at her, and she knew it was greedy, but it delighted her to no end to know that taeyong would look at no one with those eyes but her.

it was unfair, really, to be looked upon by a man such as him. no, she didn’t think it fair at all to even look like him, let alone for him to whisper such sweet yet cruel words to her eager ears.

yes, despite knowing all of this, she was still a slave to him — she would bend to his every will, and would not hesitate to jump a cliff. he need only ask, and she would do everything within, and even beyond, her power to do it.

too afraid to ruin the precious little moment they have, she merely gave him a soft peck on the lips as gratitude. it’s barely been five minutes, but she could’ve sworn only mere seconds have passed by. 

he leaned his forehead to her own. “we have to go back now.” the screams of the fans was deafening, but the two of them are already well-used to it by now.

he couldn’t hide the disappointment from his voice as he spoke words of comfort to her, the guilt gnawing at them for continuing to put their respective groups at risk by following the deisre of their hearts.

she couldn't hide the sadness from her eyes as they gazed at each other longingly, because words were never enough between the two of them.

she closed her eyes. no, not yet. please, god, don’t let this moment end yet.

“i love you.” she whispered.

he gave her a kiss that opened up a well deep inside her that only he could fill.

“i love you more.”

with those parting words, he quickly left their little corner in the dark hallway. she watched him go with blank eyes, afraid that if she let up even a little bit of her feelings, she would break. and she couldn’t break, not tonight. not when the whole world is watching her every little move, waiting for her to slip up.

plastering a pleasant look on her face, she also made an exit towards the main hallway. immediately, her manager finds her from where she was standing, evidently waiting for her to come back to reality.

“that was too close, seulgi,” she shook her head. “i had to thwart off at least three people from passing by this area and it hasn’t even been ten minutes, did you know that?”

guilt quickly chewed at her chest, and chewed hard. she was aware that every time they snuck off together, they were putting the future of their groups at risk. she knew that. he knew that.

it was just impossible for them to stop.

seulgi bowed her head. “i’m sorry, unnie.” they both knew apologies don’t mean anything anymore when coming from her.

she sighed. she took a look around the area before speaking again. “listen, seulgi — i know you’re a good kid. i know he’s a good kid, too. hey, don’t act surprised. i never believed in those rumors about him. anyway, my point here is that when you’re young and you fall in love deeply, you tend to do really stupid things, because that’s just how it is. i can’t change that.

but when i tell you enough is enough, you have to listen to me, okay? you got that?”

her heart started beating rapidly in her chest. she wished it was as easy as she was making it out to be. could it be, though? could she make her heart listen to the logical decisions of her mind?

“yes, unnie.” she meekly nodded, but only because that was the only answer her manager would accept from her. 

together, the two of them went inside their group’s dressing room. inside, the other four members were together, fooling around with each other before the awards begin.

joohyun beckoned her to come over. “well? are you sick? do you need to take meds?”

seulgi shook her head. “i’m fine, unnie. i was just dizzy.”

she felt it to be the ultimate betrayal to lie to her own group about her secret relationship. she wanted so badly to tell even just joohyun or seungwan, but her manager expressly forbade her from telling them.

“unnie, i think you should rest before we leave. it’ll be really hard for you later.” sooyoung was the most familiar out of all of them how it felt like to almost pass out during a performance. she was right, of course. all her worries are only amplified in awards stages, because of all the lights, noise, and most especially, all those eyes waiting for you to make a mistake.

seulgi leaned her head against seungwan’s shoulders and closed her eyes, pretending to be fatigued.