Soundtrack for this: So Close

“I’m so sorry about this, Yul.”

“Why are you apologising on her behalf, Taeyeon? You have done nothing wrong except try your best to be a good leader all these years – we should be the ones apologising for always making you the middle person.”

Taeyeon didn’t even get a chance to say anything else before the black pearl walked off with her head high, her fists unclenched for the first time since she found out something. She fell onto the bed, allher strength leaving her the moment Yuri left the room. Taeyeon had been in this position ever since their relationship entered the rocks and she didn't mind at all, but she wished the couple would find some way to communicate well enough. As the eldest, Taeyeon found it to be her responsibility to solve a problem between her family, and the girls were family to her. Yet when she couldn't, Taeyeon would sink into a sad phase again and it hurt the girls deeply, knowing she was not to be blamed.

Yuri walked straight into her own bedroom this time; burying herself under the covers as she tried to stop thinking about whatever she had heard from Taeyeon – to put it clearly; Taeyeon had heard it from Amber and they were at a loss about telling it to Yuri but…

“AGAIN?!”

“SHHH!!”

The hushed whispering from the next room only made tears roll down Yuri’s cheeks; she didn’t want to go through this over and over again but what could she do when she hurt the love of her life first?

The members were in utter confusion after hearing Taeyeon’s account of the story; they weren’t expecting a repeat of the last events ever again, especially after the couple had caused a huge wreck in Yuri’s old apartment. Yuri had been drinking the whole night and she was more than sinfully drunk when the woman of the hour decided to turn up close to midnight, and guess what happened in the middle of the night. One by one, the members made their way to Yuri's apartment after their individual schedules without even asking so much as two questions; the couple needed them.

The youngest had her eyes focused on the scenery outside, almost as if she was in a world of her own. She didn’t want to participate in this conversation because she was going to burst out really soon.

“I don’t understand. Is she trying to get back at Yuri-unnie or what?” Yoona asked in slight frustration. She wanted to be fair to both sides, she really did but it was getting so difficult. “Yuri-unnie already apologised so much and she suffered for it too! this is getting out of hand, Unnie. I don’t want this to happen anymore.”

“Come on, Yoong. You don’t know what’s on Sica’s mind.”

“I don’t want to know either.”

Seohyun watched as Yoona left for the kitchen, wanting to get a drink before she actually exploded out of rage. She had been dying to say something but there was going to be consequences to it; Seohyun was not brainless, and she was no selfish. She could push her feelings away all at once and pretend it was nothing, but her heart was truly hurting this time. Out of the few people who actually liked Yuri sincerely, Seohyun could easily surpass all of them confidently. The one and only reason why she kept avoiding Yuri in the past was because of her fear, and the chances of ruining their career when they had just started not too long ago.

 And to think all her selflessness had not paid off, pushing the only person that made her feel something away – to another person’s arms indeed; whether it was worth it was another question altogether.

“Joohyun?” Tiffany’s eyes narrowed in on the youngest and she knew there was something bothering the latter. She walked towards Seohyun and wrapped an arm around her, “are you okay, Seo? What’s on your mind?”

The kid leader’s attention was drawn to the pair this time; she had observed everything that went on between Seohyun and Yuri ever since the couple’s relationship went downhill. Taeyeon was absolutely no stranger to love triangles or problems, and she saw one coming the moment her instincts kicked in. What surprised her was how long Seohyun managed to keep her feelings to herself… Seohyun was good at keeping things in but she wasn’t this good – it’s been more than three years since Taeyeon found out about it and Yuri still has no clue of someone else carrying a touch for her, which wasn't surprising considering how blur the woman was.

This was a mess.

“It hurts, Unnie…”

*

“Why isn’t she calling me?”

“Seriously, Kwon?”

“Ugh, stupid Seobang!”

Mr Jung rolled his eyes at the complaints coming from his elder daughter; he never liked the relationship between the two women after their first four to five years of dating – not because he was homophobic, but because he knew how toxic their relationship had become. He had a difficult time accepting his daughter’s choice of a partner but Yuri had proved herself over and over again; there was no reason why he should break them apart. The two of them ruined their own relationship and damaged each other in this destructive connection. It was so disappointing for everyone around them too, knowing that they begin dating with marriage in mind.

All of this would come to naught.

“Maybe if you two actually sat down and talked about your problems, she wouldn’t be ignoring you now.”

“YEOBO!”

“APPA!”

Jessica froze when she heard her father’s words; their relationship had soured quite a bit ever since her official dating news came out. She swallowed nervously and kept her eyes on her phone, praying that Yuri wasn’t deliberately avoiding her.

“Unnie… it’s okay,” Krystal rubbed her sister’s forearm gently, though it didn’t sound all too believable even to her own ears. She didn’t like the kind of relationship they had right now but she had to do her part as a sister and support the latter. “Yuri-unnie will call you as soon as she’s free, I promise. You know she’s busy recovering from her operation, right?”

The mere memory of Yuri undergoing an operation for her ankle still stabbed at Jessica’s chest every time she was reminded of it. Jessica didn't know when the operation was because Yuri's brother chose to hide it from her; he stopped treating her like a sister when all of this started. She wanted to blame him more than anyone else but as an older brother, he did well in defending his younger sister.... Jessica would do the same if the same thing was happening to Krystal. There was no right or wrong when it came to caring for family, it was the method being used to do so.

Jessica sighed and stood up, heading to the kitchen with a depressed expression. She already knew the reason when she heard the light tremble in her sister’s voice earlier. Her palms rested against the surface of the counter top, her thoughts hitting her like a bullet train.

“Damn it.”

A few hours later... 

“Where have you been?”

Yuri temporarily froze in her footsteps when she heard that familiar voice; she wasn’t expecting any guest here because it’s been a while since anyone’s been to her apartment. Yuri didn’t say anything in response to that, knowing it’d all be useless in time to come. She could already tell from the tone Jessica was using on her that this fight was going to end in an ugly way or a way without turning back – with them in bed till the sunrise. This cycle had repeated continuously for the past few years and it had been worse than ever before; in the past, they could at least sit down and talk about their problems without their hands on each other.

“Out with my friends, Sica.” Yuri smiled blankly, putting her bag down on the sofa. She didn’t want to face the woman right now, not after having some drinks at the bar – a glass of water to sober her up would be nice before any conversation. The frustration in Yuri built up and she smacked the counter, “damn it… why is she here?”  

Of course, a part of her missed Jessica deeply; the woman was still her girlfriend after all. Yuri wanted so much to embrace Jessica and make love to her like they always did genuinely, when their cravings for one another couldn’t be satisfied. She wanted to cuddle with Jessica, be it clothed or with a bowl of freshly made popcorn as the ice princess made her watch one of those sappy romance films like they did every week. Yuri missed all of that deeply, and tears begin to well in her eyes at that memory. It had been far too long since Jessica has even initiated some sort of skinship between them, other than it being for the purpose of having after an argument.

Things had changed too much, and Yuri could no longer recognise the person she had initially fallen in love with. She couldn’t bring back her old self even if she wanted to, the one who was truly kind and willing to take every lie to make herself feel better.

“Seobang…” Jessica wrapped her arms around Yuri’s waist from behind, her face nuzzled in between Yuri’s shoulder blades. She didn’t like the fact that her girlfriend tensed up when she was behind her – Yuri was uncomfortable with their close proximity; there was something wrong. “Yul, I miss you…”

“Sorry.”

Jessica cocked an eyebrow and turned her girlfriend to face her with one swift movement, “Kwon Yuri. What’s wrong with you? Why are you ignoring me like this? You're not talking to me at all!”

When Yuri finally looked up and locked their gazes together, Jessica finally realised the lack of hope and life in her lover’s eyes – the pair of chocolate orbs Jessica used to get lost in. she lifted her hands and cupped Yuri’s cheeks, her eyes displaying the most genuine feelings for the past year or so. Yuri couldn't stop her heart from racing with Jessica's hands on her face; why was she still reacting to the ice princess this way? Yuri needed to stop, or she wouldn't be able to carry out her original plan at all. She came back to think about how much heartbreak she'd be able to withstand, only to be surprised by the very own cause of it in the first place.

Yuri gently took Jessica’s hands off her face and sighed, “we’ve been through this over and over again. I know, you know – it’s been the same reason for years.”

Jessica finally blinked, taken aback by the blunt reasoning from the one person who never actually s