Kim Junmyeon could have anything he wanted, if he really thought about it. He was wealthy, intelligent, and he even considered himself handsome if he was being honest. He thought himself capable of making good decisions, given that being the next in line of his family’s telecommunications company required one to be very adept at that, and his employees never had grievances against him. If Junmyeon allowed himself to think about how fortunate he was in life to be where he was now, then others would definitely agree and wish to be in his shoes.

               Except for the part where Junmyeon’s life wasn’t idyllic in the most reasonable sense. Dirt does not simply become diamond, after all.

               “...J-Junmyeon, I…” Joohyun’s voice was shaky, and he could clear her hear inhaling on the other end of the phone call.

               “Joohyun, what’s wrong? Please tell me, I’m getting worried.” He bit down on his lip and tried to keep his voice down to a hush.

               “The…the morning after pill. It…it didn’t work.”

               Junmyeon’s lip quivered and his hand flew out to clutch the edge of the desk behind him. “…What are you saying? What do you me – “

               “Junmyeon, I’m pregnant.” And then he could hear her on the other end try to hold back a sob, but the telltale whimper was there. “What do I do? Please…please tell me.”

               The young man inhaled sharply as his heart rate began to increase.

               “Junmyeon, please say something.”

               “Joohyun, I…I’m sorry, this is just overwhelming me right now. Ah , you’re pregnant…oh my god…” At this point his girlfriend was now crying over the phone, and he groaned into the sleeve of his sweater. They were only in high school and he had to go do something as stupid as this… “…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me – “

               “And what exactly are we being sorry about?” The sound of his bedroom door flying open and his father stepping inside startled Junmyeon, who flinched and quickly disconnected the call, shoving his phone into his pocket. The tall man regarded Junmyeon over his thin, silver frames, crossing his arms tightly over his chest at the same time. “I am really understanding what I just heard?”

               Junmyeon’s eyes widened and he swallowed thickly. “Dad, nothing’s going on – “

               “I thought that if I came home from work, late at night, and my son was still awake, he’d be studying in his room like the son I thought I raised properly. Now tell me, Junmyeon, what the hell did I just hear?”

               “Dad, it’s…it’s not anything you need to worry about, please understand – “

               “Anything I don’t have to understand?! I just heard my own son say he got someone pregnant, and you expect me to just stand here and understand?!” Junmyeon watched as his father blew out a hot breath and pinched at the bridge of his nose. “…Give me your phone.”

               “Dad, I don’t – “

               “I said, give me your phone.” Junmyeon stared at his father’s stern face for a moment before briefly turning away and then shoving his hand into his pocket and handing his phone over. Not even a second later, the older man threw the device at the wall right behind him; Junmyeon flinched as the phone whizzed past his ear and smashed against the plaster, the crunchy glass hitting the hardwood floor right before him. But nothing could prepare for him for the swift jab that connected with his cheekbone, sending him reeling and clutching at his face in terror. Junmyeon cried as he stared up at his father, nostrils flared and glaring down at him like a vulture.

               “You ungrateful bastard of a child... I give you a beautiful home, an education beyond standard, a legacy to uphold, and this is how you treat me?!”

               Before Junmyeon could even retaliate, his father’s knuckles had already collided into his face, and the young man let out a yelp and fell backwards into the side of his bed. Junmyeon heaved and looked up at his father amidst the tears flooding his vision, and his hand came away from his nose already stained with blood. His father looked down on him with the ferocity of a rhino, glasses askew and his usually prim and proper hair slightly disheveled.

               Junmyeon let out a choked breath. “D-Dad, I’m sorry…p-please stop…” He yelled again as the older man smashed his fist on the top of his head, sending him to the floor. Junmyeon covered his head with his arms as his father continued to wail on him.

               “What’s going in here – Junmyeon! What are you doing, Junho?! Stop, stop!” Amidst the ringing in his ears, he could hear his mother crying over the roar of his father’s voice. His throat hurt from yelling and crying at the same time, and the blood coming from his nose was already splattered across his cheek.

               The last thing he could remember was his mother sitting there next to him with dried streaks across her cheeks, as she carefully dabbed an alcohol-soaked cotton ball on the cut on his lip. The frozen ice pack was cool against his face, his left eyeball now throbbing and purple with bruises. Shortly after his mother managed to pull his father off him, Junmyeon lay there on the floor, hearing his father scream in the hallway about how much of a disgrace he was, being his son, the president of his class, and the pride of his family…impregnating one of his classmates. Come morning, his father would march down to his own high school and get the transfer papers ready to go; no one needed to know the son of an influential company was out there making a fool of himself. As for Joohyun herself…

               Junmyeon was forbidden from ever contacting her ever again, lest he want himself thrown out that instance and forced to live on the streets by himself. His father assured him he’d ‘take care of the problem’ himself, but Junmyeon was afraid he might actually die if he tried to intervene with his father’s affairs again. After a restless night of tossing around in his bed and trying to will himself to sleep, he awoke that morning with the realization that he was probably never going to see Joohyun again, or whatever might arise from the child that she was carrying inside her. His child.

<               The transition was quick after that, because it had to be; new school, new faces, new life. His father was adamant about there being no second chances in life, and that he should have been lucky he didn’t outright kill Junmyeon that evening. And so Junmyeon complied, out of necessity and survival. To deal with his losses, he chose to shift his attention to more lucrative endeavors like his education, if only to please his father. Not only did he lose Joohyun and what could have been his child, he never saw his other friends again, and all the prestige that came with being the president of his class was immediately lost upon stepping foot at his new high school.

               Despite graduating at the top of his class, a year spent away from what made him truly Junmyeon at heart left him drained and soulless, as he looked over the crowd of students that he spent his last year of high school with. He realized he could put names to faces and vice versa, but he didn’t really know anyone, and neither did anyone know him. Not like he could ever explain the circumstances around his transfer anyway.

               Almost ten years of ignoring his personal instincts and being told what to do, ten years of moving on through life without putting himself first and letting the legacy his family built up lead him through life; ten years of seeing his mother pass away in her sleep and himself ascending to the throne that his own father groomed him to take.

               All these years led him to this point, sitting stone stiff in the middle of his office with his face buried in his hands, with only the muffled drum of the heavy rain on the window behind him keeping him company.

               “Bae Joohyun…Bae Joohyun…why did I not…?” He remembered the day after the interviews for his personal assistant spot were finished. Seulgi entered his office that day with a file containing the information and resume of the most qualified applicant. Junmyeon didn’t even want a personal assistant to begin with; he thought he was absolutely fine operating just by himself, even if he was really wasn’t and he was actually drowning in all his work. However, he was taught never to show weakness, and Junmyeon wasn’t about to show weakness now.

               All Seulgi left him was a name: Bae Joohyun. At first, Junmyeon gave his employee a look, and Seulgi stared back at him like he’d just dropped a tray full of songpyeon at Chuseok.

               “Bae Joohyun, sir. That’s the name of the woman in the file – “

               “I-I know. It’s just...” It can’t have been her, that would be impossible. All these years and they were finally seeing each other again because she interviewed to be his personal assistant? No way. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

               “Well, I’ve left the manila folder on your desk in case you wanted to look at it, sir. I’ll be going now.” Seulgi smiled dryly at him before nodding her head and turning to leave, letting Junmyeon stew in his own discomfort. The young man stared at the manila folder for perhaps a good minute, taking in the plain beige color of the cardboard and the bright yellow paperclip sticking out of it that Kang Seulgi tended to utilize very often. In deep, dark marker print written on the file tab, it said “personal assistant”. Without missing a beat, Junmyeon shoved the folder under the pile of other papers on his desk, only realizing he’d been holding his breath that long when he slumped in his chair and exhaled.

               Realistically, Junmyeon could have been correct and this Bae Joohyun could have been some random woman who was in no way related to the girlfriend he was forced to leave behind nearly ten years ago with his baby in her womb. In any way shape or form, the woman that could walk into his office next Monday at eight in the morning could be just an ordinary woman who would never have met before in his life. But nothing could have ever prepared him for the worst, to turn around that rainy morning and see Bae Joohyun. This was the same Joohyun from ten years ago in his junior year of high school, who greeted him every day at the school gates, the same Joohyun he went behind his father’s back just to date, the same Joohyun with the long, dark hair and the heart-shaped face he’d loved holding in his palms so much.

               And this was now the same Joohyun that stormed right out of his office shortly after calling him a ‘sick ing monster’ and leaving him gaping at the floor in the hallway. Of all the things that he could have expected from seeing his old high school sweetheart, an incredibly volatile and explosive reaction was not one of them.

               “Sick ing monster, huh…,” he whispered, and it was only then that he noticed his vision blurring. Junmyeon gasped and dug his palms into his eyes, stifling the choking from his throat. His eyes then traveled upwards and he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply to calm his nerves.

               …Only a minor setback. When he opened his eyes again, he quietly picked up the damp umbrella off the floor and turned around, briskly walking back into his office. Surely, Seulgi and whoever else would have much to ask him about why his personal assistant just ran out of the building and into the rain.

               “Sooyoung, I’m home.” Junmyeon yawned as he entered the foyer, eyes squinting in the darkness while he blindly palmed the nearest wall for the light switch. It was just habit for him to call out his fiancée’s name, even though he knew it was rare for her to respond. “…Alright, I guess.” The empty house reverberated with the sound of the light switch, and his footsteps echoed as he walked past the foyer into the kitchen.

               Everything was untouched, just as he had left it this morning before he left for work. It was getting increasingly rare for his fiancée to appear at home, going from weeknights to weekends to whole weeks at a time, with only a text or a call from Sooyoung signifying she was in good hands. And if that wasn’t enough for Junmyeon, she made an appearance usually the following morning, greeting with a kiss on the cheek and disappearing about as fast as she appeared.

               He wasn’t quite sure what went wrong. Park Sooyoung was a fine, young woman; wealthy and intelligent, and also in charge of another telecommunications-related firm, albeit smaller than his with a far larger hand in international affairs. His father introduced Ms. Park just about a year and a half ago, and while Junmyeon thought she was lovely and was invested in their budding relationship, half of it was propelled by the pressure his father laid on him. Their relationship had slowly, and secretly, started crumbling shortly after he proposed to her, a mere six months after they’d first started dating. Not too long after, Junmyeon noticed her habitual absences from their shared home, and the first time they’d started sleeping in the same bed together since, she’d moaned ‘Youngho’ in her sleep.

               Junmyeon didn’t resent her for it. It wasn’t like he was really in it for the long haul either. His father was making him marry her for the benefits of their companies’ impending merger, and he already knew she was only marrying him for his money. Strictly business.

               For perhaps the third time that month, he was eating takeout dinner by himself in the chilling silence of his estate. There was no use to having all this space and furniture if he had no one to share it with, he thought. Junmyeon picked at the jajangmyeon in his takeout box before setting it down and staring at the floral-pink umbrella sitting on the counter in front of him. His chest ached staring at it, knowing that seeing him walk back into his life and just as quickly walk out like that was like someone tempering a knife on an open flame, then cutting straight into his chest and through his heart.

               “…You don’t know how much I’ve missed you, Joohyun,” the young man murmured, his voice admittedly hoarse and throat just a slight tad parched. In that split second before she went berserk, he was able to get a glimpse of her. She hadn’t changed much in almost ten years, with that heart-shaped face of her’s and that button nose he loved to kiss so much. She dyed her hair to a gentle chestnut brown, which he found surprising; she swore she’d never dye her hair.

               He ran a hand through his hair and hissed in frustration. Even if he talked about it with Seulgi and was even privy to the questions of one of his other employees – Seungwan, was it? – he was not about to rescind the personal assistant position from Joohyun. His father would be