“Everyone receives only a single life and are born in this world equally. But their lives after they are born can’t be said to be equal.” - Les Misérables

Mercy: the act of withholding what one deserves.

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“You know how I feel about this decision, Joonie,” Yoongi answers. Voice cold, curt, and Namjoon can count on one hand the times Min Yoongi has been angry or disappointed with him.

“Yes, hyung,” he responds, voice small to his own ears. “But I know it’s the right choice. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. Years, really, hyung.”

Yoongi has reasons to be angry, reasons for his distrust, and Namjoon understands them all. But in the end, the decision is his, and they both know this. This conversation came about due to Namjoon finishing his latest novel.

The story is about a man who commits a crime of necessity. Still, in the eyes of the law, a crime is a crime, and the man pays the penalty for breaking the law. Once he’s out of prison, he finds it hard to readjust in society as people see his criminal record and not the person he is. The cruelty the man has been shown by the world has the once good man turning hard, and he decides to return in kind. But he is shown mercy by one singular person. The compassion the man receives touches his heart, and he turns over a new leaf and makes amends to those he’s hurt on his rampage. It’s a story of redemption and change, of growth. In many ways, it’s Namjoon’s personal journey over the last several months.

“It’s been six months, hyung, since Tae kidnapped Jungkook,” Namjoon smiles as he says words, an unconscious action.

That moment could have ended in so many ways, most of which would have been disastrous. Instead of sadness, it has brought about the most beautiful moment of Namjoon’s life. For that, he will forever be grateful to Taehyung.

“I understand all the reasons you have for not liking this, hyung. I do. But I need to do this. For me. For Jungkook. I want to set a good example for him about forgiveness and not holding on to hate and anger,” he explains to his friend. “What happened with Jennie hurt, and it had me in a bad place for a really long time. Jungkook has spent so much of his young life being held prisoner by my fears. I can’t change the past, hyung. I know this illness I live with is not something I will ever fully be free from, but it doesn’t mean I have to let it control me, and I certainly won’t allow it to control my son.”

“I know that what you’re saying is right, Joonie. Every word of it. But when it comes to that woman, I can’t help but see red. All I can think about when I hear her name is Jungkook at the train station in tears, clinging to me like he never planned on letting go. As God is my witness, Namjoon, had she been there at that moment, I would have ripped her to shreds with my bare hands.” Namjoon can hear the anger in Yoongi’s tone, even if he can’t see it from his end of the phone line.

“I know, hyung. I know.”

There are no words he can add to what Yoongi feels, nothing Namjoon can say to make the pain of that day any less. They each have dealt with their anger and sadness in different ways. Namjoon lost a part of himself by succumbing to his fears, and Yoongi has made Jennie the embodiment of all evil. It took the innocent act of a five-year-old boy to help break down walls that Namjoon has spent the better part of three years building.

“I want you to finally be free of all this, Joonie. If this is needed to accomplish that, then I have your back,” the older man expresses his loyalty, and Namjoon finds himself smiling despite the heavy subject matter.

“Thank you, hyung. I genuinely appreciate that.”

The call ends, and Namjoon feels much lighter having told Yoongi his plan. The older man has been a part of Jungkook’s life since the moment the child entered the world. In many ways, he’s is just as much a father to the little boy as Namjoon is. While he does not need Yoongi’s approval to move forward with his decision, there is a peace Namjoon feels knowing that he has it.

Walking down the hall to his room, Namjoon encounters a trail of toys that he is sure was not there before. The single-file line consists of stuff animals, toy cars, and a unit of army men strategically placed as though guarding the procession. He follows the parade of toys to Jungkook’s room where the door is open, but only by a small crack large enough for the toys to fit through. He hears his youngster on the other side of the door, calling out orders to what Namjoon can only assume is an army of toys.

Namjoon’s about to walk past Jungkook’s room, but curiosity gets the best of him as he pushes the door all the way open. It’s an involuntary response, the scream that jumps out of his mouth as he enters his child’s bedroom. It’s as though a tornado had passed through the room, uprooting and scattering every toy Jungkook owns onto the floor. The area is so jam-packed with toys that there is no floor space for Namjoon to walk.

“Jungkook, what happened in here?” he asks the child once the initial shock wears off.

“Shhh, Appa,” the youngster shushes him.

Were the room not a disaster, Namjoon would find the current situation hilarious. His five soon to be six-year-old is belly-crawling across the only path on the floor not invaded by toys. The youngster has on a camouflaged army helmet that Namjoon’s father had given the child as a birthday present last year.

“It’s a war, Appa. We can’t let the enemied know where I am,” the little boy whispers his explanation.

“Mmm, I see. Well, the quickest way to end a war and beat the enemy is to clean up,” he informs the youngster.

His words have Jungkook immediately sitting up, crossing his legs, and staring at Namjoon so intently the older man is a bit taken aback. After several seconds of deliberation, Jungkook finally responds.

“Appa, I love you, but you and I seem to have our differentses,” the youngster announces seriously.

The phone feels heavy in his hands, weighted like hundred-pound dumbbells. A sigh escapes Namjoon’s lips as he twirls the cellular in his palm, contemplating his next move. Never in a million years did Namjoon think this day would come, him standing at the crossroads of forgiveness and unforgiveness. Choosing to let go of the hate and contempt that has held him prisoner for so long was not an easy decision to arrive at, but it is one that Namjoon knows he needs to make, for himself, but most of all for Jungkook.

He dials the number.

The number you have dialed has been changed or disconnected. If you feel you have reached this message in error, please try your call again.

Namjoon checks the number. He dialed correctly. He calls Jennie’s parents.

“Hello,” an older female answers. Namjoon smiles.

He’s always liked Jennie’s mother. Jungkook adores his grandmother, and Namjoon is reminded that it’s been a while since the little boy has seen his grandparents.

“Hello, Mrs. Kim, it’s Namjoon,” he responds.

“Namjoon-ah,” the woman says, surprise evident in her voice. “Is everything alright? Is Jungkook okay?”

“Yes, ma’am. Everything is fine. Jungkook is growing beautifully. I’ll bring him by for a visit soon,” he calms the woman’s fears. “I’m actually hoping to get a contact number for Jennie. The number she left me is not working.”

“Jennie? D-did she do something?” the worry is back in the woman’s tone.

“No, no,” Namjoon assures her. “I just want to talk to her. Nothing is wrong at all.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Kim replies. “Her last number was international, so we canceled it, but it’s been so busy we haven’t had time to change it over yet. She’s here if you’d like to talk to her,” Jennie’s mother offers.

“Yes. Yes, I’d like that,” Namjoon tells her.

He hears the woman's muffled voice as she calls her daughter.

“H-h-hello, Oppa,” Jennie’s voice is soft, uncertain as she answers.

The girl sounds nothing like how Namjoon remembers her. The confidence, the near cockiness that had drawn him to her when they were younger, is nowhere to be found in her tone.

“Hello, Jennie. How are you?” he asks politely.

“I’m good, Oppa. How are you?” she returns the question.

“I’m good as well. I tried calling on your number, but it seems it’s been disconnected.”

“Mmm,” Jennie murmurs. “I am planning on getting a Korean number. My last number was Australian.”

“Ahh.  I see,” he says. “I was calling to set up day and time for you to come over and meet Jungkook.” The words hurt as they come out of his mouth.

“What?!” He can almost feel the shock he hears in Jennie’s voice. “Do you really mean it, Oppa?” Jennie’s voice trembles as she asks the question.

“Yes,” he says with a sigh. “I do.”

“I-I,” she stammers as she whimpers. “I-I don’t know what to say. I honestly never expected you to say yes. I know I don’t deserve it, so, so I just didn’t expect it. Anytime. Anytime that’s good for you is good for me,” she tells him in between her sobs.

He didn’t expect the moment to hit him so hard. He feels overwhelmed by Jennie’s emotions. It never occurred to him that it was hard for her as well. She’s been the devil, the very incarnation of evil for so long that he’d forgotten that she too was a human with feelings and emotions. It never dawned on him that she also might have been hurting. It doesn’t mean he has completely forgiven her or that he will ever be able to, but he can appreciate her humanness and her pain. They are two qualities he’s very familiar with.

“Uhm,” he says, slowly trying to compose his emotions. “Saturday?”

“Yes, yes, Saturday,” Jennies replies immediately.

“Around three? We can meet at my house. There’s a park nearby that Jungkook really likes, and we can go there if you’re okay with that?” he offers.

“That sounds perfect, Oppa,” Jennie’s voice wavers, mixed with tears and excitement.

“Okay. We’ll see you then.”

“Yes, see you then. Thank you, Oppa.”

The call disconnects, and Namjoon releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

“Batman Jimin is going to make us poor,” Hoseok declares, walking through the front door with a very nervous looking Sushi the cat, curled up in her pink Hello Kitty carrier.

“Oh, what did Batman Jimin do?” Yoongi asks, failing to hide his smile. He swears he sees Sushi glare at him.

“So, you know how Sushi has been MIA and in hiding, refusing to come get her meals or be seen in public for the last twenty-four hours?” Hoseok starts.

“Mmm,” Yoongi acknowledges.

“Well, I was worried. Sushi may not be the most social cat, but she’s not one to miss a meal. So, this morning I took her to the vet because I feared the worst.”

“And?” Yoongi questions anxiously.

“Well, I just spent a hundred and fifty dollars to find out that Batman Jimin is giving our cat anxiety. So, apparently this latest trend of jumping out of nowhere and declaring he’s Batman and scaring the out of our cat really does scare the out of our cat.”

“Sushi, you’re better than this. You survived the off with your head era. You can’t be taken down like this,” Yoongi tells the cat jokingly.

“This is not funny, hyung. Our child is terrorizing our cat.” Hoseok sounds genuinely concerned.

“Correction, Batman is terrorizing our cat. Jimin is an angel,” Yoongi remarks.

Hoseok laughs.

“This isn’t funny, stop,” the man says in between chuckles. “Do you think we need to address this?”

“Do I think we need to address our five soon to be six-year-old acting his age? No. But maybe we should tell him not to scare Sushi,” he adds.

“Okay, that’s fair. I know he’s not doing it on purpose, and I never want to dampen his creativity or his imagination. But I do want him to have a sense of responsibility for how his action can affect the things and people around him,” Hoseok explains.

“This will be a good lesson for him to learn,” Yoongi agrees. “As long as he knows that he can continue to be Batman and continue to play with Sushi. But he just needs to be more aware of Sushi’s feelings.”

“God, how do we convey this to a five-year-old?” Hoseok asks.

“I think this is one of those things we just say outright and hope for the best,” Yoongi answers back. “Jimin, Minnie