[ Sorry for Hanbin's flowery vocabulary .. ]

On his way back to their dorm, he couldn't help but shake like crazy as overwhelming sensations and feelings took upon his pretended self-control and calm. It has been more than a year since he last talk to his ex-band, and he didn't know how much he was affected by this loss until that very moment. Seing Hanbin again, with his cold composure and harsh voice that would make every sentence he said sound like a threat, Jiwon and his bunny teeth smile that would never leave his face except when he was in front of a blackboard filled with incomprehensible formulas that made his forehead wrinkled, Yunhyeong and his handsomeness that could blind anything and anyone in a blink of an eye, without forgetting their lovely Donghyuk and his angel-like self that would turn into an evil faster than the lightning strikes. And Jinhwan, of course. It was too much for him, too many regrets surfacing and too much pain to deal with. They were his friends, his family, his landmarks, and he had lost it all after a stupid mistake.

Some may ask why he was the one taking the fault while they were two in this locked room, ask why Jinhwan was still with the others, having fun, while he was the one left behind with an unbearable guilt creeping under the skin, but he would answer that he chose it himself.

-

"We've messed up, don't you think ?" He asked, sitting in the middle of the double bed after putting on some clothes, looking at the crying mess that was his friend. The latter was rolled under the fresh stained blankets standing as a proof of their betrayal. All he wanted at that moment was a reaction. A move, a word, or even silence would have been enough for him. Anything but those inexhaustible tears and sobs he was responsible for. Judging by the loud music still playing in the garden and the even louder laughters, the party was still going on and nobody had came to look for them, and it was better this way. He left a sigh escape his lips and crushed his back against the wall, pushing the blanket heap with his right foot. "Jinhwan, say something please .. Don't let me alone with those four walls and time to meditate about what we've done .. It hurts too bad." He then closed his eyes and lifted up his chin, trying to hold back his tears with a bitter chuckle. His voice was all cracked up and it didn't fell on deaf ears. After a small moment, Jinhwan slowly pushed his cover to the side and sniffed one time for all before looking around to find his tee-shirt. Junhwe opened his eyes after hearing the soft ruffles and let his gaze run on the flawless milky skin of Jinhwan's back facing him. Thinking he had been able to smooth down his hands on this, even if he was drunk, made him feel dizzy. Did he still deserve to look at him ? Jinhwan quickly found what he was looking for, on the floor and all crumpled, but he put it on with a sad smile. His eyes were red and puffy, his nose swollen and running, but all Junhwe could think about was how beautiful Jinwhan was, even when he was all shaken and wearing a simple and floating white tee. He recognized it as Hanbin's favourite, and he interiorly laughed sarcastically about the situation.

"What do you want to do now ?" He asked, not really sure if it sounded offensive or not because Jinhwan seemed taken aback and looked down to his feet, munching his bottom lip. Silence filled the room for the first time of the night and he started to feel uncomfortable after a little while, just before Jinwhan opened his mouth and broke the heavy atmosphere.

"I'm going to tell him .. I can't hide it forever, right ? Now or never Junhwe, that's how we always did .."

That same sad smile appeared again on the tiny figure's face and made Junhwe wince. Tears were glinting again in the smaller's eyes as realization made its way to his brain, but he brushed them away with his fist before they could fall and breathed in as much air as he could. It was Jinhwan's method to gather some courage, and who knows how he would need it. Junhwe watched the scene from his spot and knew immediatly that the older wasn't ready to face Hanbin's reaction. They knew each others too well. That wasn't a bad idea, but it would cost way too much to both of them. And it will surely broke Hanbin, which was not acceptable. Hanbin didn't ask for anything so it was unfair to make him pay for their thoughtlessness. So he talked his mind, like he always did.

"You know as well as me that you won't be able to endure his pain .. You'll break him, Jinhwan. You can't even stand it when he hurt himself while dancing, so how would you bear his tears caused by you ?"

His question wasn't one in fact. They both knew how Hanbin cherished Jinhwan more than anything and how Jinhwan treasured his boyfriend as much as his own life. But here was the problem. What could they do now ? Junhwe ran a stressed hand throught his platine blond hair and breathed out loudly to calm himself. He needed to be strong right now, or none of them would escape from this intact. Gathering his thoughts, he reached out a hand to grab Jinhwan's tiny wrist.

"Let me handle this for us, ok ? He won't ever know about this, no one will ever know. We'll keep it a secret and everything will be alright." 

He wasn't sure if it was the way the older munched harder on his lip to hold back his tears, or the way his voice trembled while saying those words, but when he looked up to cross his stare with the other's, he was convinced it wouldn't be a simple thing.

-

Things hadn't bothered to prove him wrong. Remembering the days, the weeks and the months after their little treason where seeing Jinhwan's pained look and Hanbin's fond smile for the elder became so unbearable he had to left the group without saying a word, he felt a little string pulling on his heart and unshed tears stinging at the corner of his eyes. He was the one to decide his own eloignement, but he had made a choice for which he couldn't stand the consequences anymore. And to sum up, now that he sort of got involved in their business again by helping his rommie, he was forced to face his mistakes and fears all by himself. It wasn't the first time he felt lonely in the empty room, staring at his toes as if they would start to confort him, but he couldn't really get used to it either.

A while passed and he was starting to fall asleep when a loud thud on the door of his room snatched him out of his sleepiness. Thankfully or not, it remainded shut and Junhwe only had the time to straighten the upper part of his body before hearing an injured cry.

"Open this ing door Jung Chanwoo !"

Even if the voice was muffled by the tickness of the wood, he could clearly recognize it as Hanbin's, and the latter was beyond furious. A shiver ran down his spine as his brain seemed to clarify the situation and catch up with the scenar playing in the corridor. He jumped right on his feet without thinking twice and rushed to the door, his right hand already on the doorknob, ready to open it. His actions and crazy heartbeat, somehow, were stopped by another voice.

"I won't. Let him alone."

A thud, again, and a surprised gasp coming from behind the door made him frown. Following the murmurs and the sound of quick steps, he knew people were starting to take interest in the event and were now crowding next to the fighting duo.

"You're being so protective over the one that only saved you once. Don't make me laugh, he is worth nothing. Now move your so I can beat him up instead of you. No one is allowed to make Jinhwan cry without paying for it."

Oh, so there was the problem. It was always Jinhwan and him anyway, what did he expect. Maybe it was the right time for him to purge all his crimes and get rid of the insane guilt always swarming in his chest. He was prepared and resigned to take his punition so he once again intended to open the door, but as if someone knew he was awake and willing to come out, the doorknob refused to move. Chanwoo was holding on it at the other side.

"Be careful, B.I. If you're standing here growling at me with your bare teeth, who's by Jinhwan's side comforting him ?"

Junhwe's jaw dropped opened. Was Chanwoo really picking up a fight with the most dangerous man out there ? The boy must have been out of his mind, .. and so was he for taking the decision of pulling harder to open the door. At this moment, Chanwoo lost his balance and ended up sitting on his , faced distorded by the pain running up his back.

"Aoutch ! What the , June !" He said, turning his head to face look at him with an annoyed expression.

The concerned one only had the time to look quickly at his roomate mumbling an apology before a clenched fist met his left cheekbone. Dragged by the power put in it, he stumbled a bit on his feet while his hand went up to cover the injured area. The familiar warmth, more than the pain, spread at a fast pace on the whole left side of his face and he knew it would leave a bad bruise. Too angry and hurt by the punch, well Hanbin had warned him indirectly before, but still, he didn't hear the tiny man running at the other end of the floor and shouting from the top of his lungs, but his opponent did. He threw the same punch he received at Hanbin's face and the latter didn't make a move to avoid it, certainly too confused by the new intruder arrival.

It was suffisant for the crowd to grow excited. Everyone started to push and scream and it quickly turned into a huge mess, voices mixed to form a noisy chorus. "Fight ! Fight !"

Junhwe wasn't sure about what happened next, but when Hanbin faced him again, his eyes were murderous. He was grabbed by the collar in less than few seconds and thrown against the wall by the strong grip. His former leader's carrure was lean and thin but had nothing to envy to taller and more muscular buddies'. The back of his head made a strange sound when it hit the hard surface along with his back, but even in his confused state, he managed to push back Hanbin quickly enough to unbalance him, a proper distance now separating them. The two guys stared at each other during a micro second, and as if a signal was sent, they clenched their fists and were ready to clash really bad.

The following was as unexpected as it was expected. So like in those overly dramatic movies, right before they could have exchange another well directed punch, Jinhwan and Chanwoo were standing between the two fighting roosters with their arms stretched to avoid any further contact. What was surprising was the fact that Chanwoo was literally blocking back Hanbin by holding him by the shirt while Jinhwan took position to use his body as a shield .. for Junhwe. Time seemed to stop for everyone, even their until now loud surrounding. The older's eyes were puffy and still a bit red, panick and fear clearly readable in his soft brown irises. Hanbin was looking at his boyfriend, startled. Everything was quiet and nobody dared to break the heavy atmosphere slowly spreading around them. Jinhwan finally caught back his breath and sighed, hesitatingly brushing his fingers against the younger's after taking a few steps forwards. Hanbin's eyes followed the gentle gesture, but he didn't react, asking with a soft voice "Explain." Junhwe knew he was pained by Jinhwan's reaction, even him was surprise by the sudden turn taken by the events. First, Chanwoo defending him, now Jinhwan .. Seeing the scene from afar, one would have said Hanbin was standing alone against three guys, and among them, one was his own lover. He looked like the bad guy, the one nobody wanted to support and like in some stories, and it was really wounding.

People around them started to come back to life after digesting the scene and questions and comments began to shot like bullets. "Jung Chanwoo and Koo Junhwe are dating ? Is Jay cheating on B.I ? June's a crazy ! Are they going to fight ? I want to see them kiss ! Hanbin, don't let them take your Jinhwan !" The four of them were taken aback by the harshness of some snippets they heard, but they didn't make a move nor open their mouths to reply. A wit mind opened room 26's door and pushed them inside before they could have realize what was going on.

Chanwoo leaned on the door to prevent anyone to trespass and locked it with his nimble fingers before coughing to catch eveyone's attention. Once his job done, he lifted up his chin and looked at his hyungs, arms crossed on his broad chest. Junhwe nonchalantly sat on his bed and ran a shaking hand through his hair, eyes fixed on the soft carpet. The two strangers in this bedroom settled for standing in the middle of the narrow place, just between the facing wardrobes. The room suddenly seemed extremely small for the four students, a sligh but present tension slowly growing. Before it could becore awkward and unbearable for everyone, Jinhwan grabbed Hanbin's hand tightly and squeezed it a little to gain his attention. The boy turned his head and peered down on his boyfriend, face more expressionless than ever. Outside, the noise muffled little by little to completely disappear and they knew they were finally no longer the center of attention.

"I .. We have to talk about something." the older said, voice trembling enough to even pick Chanwoo's interest. He then shifted his eyes from Hanbin's face to Junhwe's to search for a sign from him, maybe a support or even just a nod. Something to convince him to go on. Before Junhwe could have react, Hanbin snatched his hand back from the grip with a grin full of scorn and almost hurt Jinhwan by doing so, the later retrieving his lonely hand to his chest, mouth open under the surprise.

"Babe .. ?"

"Oh please, stop." He replied with an angry tone, clenching his jaw and running a hand through his hair to calm down. Junwhe, from afar, still understood all of these mimics and gestures. His best friend didn't change a bit in term of habits, and realizing it was like receiving a punch in the stomach, hard and painful.

" I'm sick of it, Jinhwan. Sick of you always putting Junhwe before me, sick of you trying to avoid my touch since our freshmen year summer break. Just what happened at this party that changed you so much ? I could barely recognize you .." His voice suddenly cracked and he tilted his head to the side, fixing his lover with long withheld sadness filling his soft brown eyes. 

Jinhwand and Junhwe took it all without moving, left speechless by Hanbin's words. The surprise graduately changed into apprehension, fear pulling out the guilt that was sinking in the depths of their hearts. Maybe did they try too hard to hide it ? Maybe Hanbin was just too perceptive ? Was he the only one to know or something happened or .. ? Questions were flowing in Junhwe's head, causing his capacity to think straight to stop for a minute.

The elder let out a sigh before dropping down his chin, bringing back Junhwe's consciousness. His black thin fringe was now covering his eyes and the first sob made his frail shoulders jolt, forcing Hanbin to immediatly engulfe him in a warm embrace. He'd never been able to resist his boy tears, even when he was mad to death.

Taking a look at Chanwoo, his roomate certainly felt like a third wheel or something because the expression on his face clearly showed his incomprehension. Poor him, involved in the worst ty business ever for having the bad luck to end up sharing his room with Junhwe. Thinking about it now, maybe Chanwoo was the unclenching factor of the current events. Without him, he would still be avoiding his ex-band, locking himself in a thick mutism and hoping to end the year with good grades before running away, far from his past. Jinwhan and Hanbin wouldn't be here, standing in the middle of their room pending to have explanations about almost everything. Maybe it was for the best. They were obviously not living in durable situation.

Acting once again under the spell of spontaneous ideas, Junhwe stood up and quickly grabbed a jacket laying on the backrest of his desk chair and opened the door.

"Chanwoo, let's take a walk, I feel like punching them in the face if I stay here any longer."

The youngest quickly understood his point and nodded, taking off his own jacket from the top of the coathanger. He followed him without asking a single word and closed the door as fast as hi roomate opened it, letting the two hummingbirds alone for a while. Taking a break from the strong stream of feelings made him relaxe a little and he could finally have a sincere conversation with the younger.

-

"What's your favorite brand of carbonate drink ?" He asked in front of the frigde section, one hand already on the handle to open it.

"I like Pepsi the best but I'll go with anything."

Chanwoo was standing next to him, carrying two XXL packages of potato chips, some biscuits' boxes and chocolate muffins. Junhwe didn't even bother to take a basket at the entrance so here he was, using his roomate as one while he was enjoying his time in the entire 24/7 market. The other didn't complain though, happy to be invited by the older. The later added some more random things to nibble and the duo made their way to the cashier. Once everything paid and stacked in plastic bags, they stared at each other with a questionning look.

"Where are we going now ? I don't know any places around here .." The younger stated, bitting his bottom lip in a way that Junhwe definitively found attractif as hell. It was now or never and he decided to play cocky to impress him for their first sort-of-a-date time. He served him the 'special' stare with an excessive grin and swung one of the plastic bag he was carrying over his right shoulder.

"If you don't mind following me blindly, I'll lead you on the path of pleasure my dear. This way !" He ordered, taking a few steps forwards confidently before turning around to check on the younger that didn't even move a finger. Chanwoo was staring at him with both his eyebrows raised and a weird pout deforming his pretty lips.

"Have you always been this strange and I didn't notice or are you trying to play cool in front of me now that I defended you from being beat the death out of you ?" He asked with a half-sceptical half-joking tone, and Junwhe couldn't help but laughed.

"I forgot to thank you for it by the way. He hit you pretty hard, didn't he ? I know how one of his punch can hurt when he's out of control .. We should apply some ointment when we get back, I have some in by nightstand."

A soft chuckle respond his comments and he felt his own lips curling into a smile. Chanwoo was really cute when he was laughing and he promised himself to do whatever it takes to hear his sound more often.

"I didn't know you were so caring, you almost sound like a worried boyfriend."

When he realized what he'd just said, his hand quickly came up to cover his mouth as if it could erase what happened but too late, Junhwe was looking at him with rounded eyes, mouth opened. Somehow, the older managed to regain his composture and switched the plastic bag to free one of his arm to clung it around Chanwoo's shoulders and dragged him to a familiar looking shop ; the arcades. It only took a second for Junhwe to catch how the smaller eye's started to sparkle, forgetting his awkward mistake, and he mentally congratulate himself for being so quick-witted.

"You wish I were, don't you ?" He joked, earning a punch from the other boy as they entered the pretty empty place.

"Ask me out if you can beat me at any game of your choice."

"As if I would ! I'll sure win over you but I don't want the price, keep it to yourself."

The younger just laughed and rolled his eyes before sitting on a free chair, just in front of one of the best games of the room. Junhwe looked at the name written on the machine and grinned, confident. He was unbeatable on this one. Accepting the challenge, he shoved a handful of spicy chips in his mouth before folding up his sleeves and craking his knuckles.

"Be prepared to taste the deafeat, Chanwoo."

"All barking and no bites, I'll play easy on you."

-

After taking turn in winning and losing at each games of the arcades, they finally decided to come back to the dormitory and reached their bedroom in no time, exhausted but happy of their little getaways. When Junhwe opened the door, there were no trace of Jinhwan or Hanbin left but the note laying on his bed caught his eyes. As Chanwoo got out of the bedroom again to take a shower, he picked it up to decipher Jinhwan's pretty hand writting and smiled softly before crumbling it and tossing it to bin.

A strange feeling crept up his chest, but it was not guilt, nor fear nor regret, not anymore.

It was the feeling of getting rid of problems. The feeling of being able to begin a new chapter of his life.

His unfolding. His release.

So, how was it ? Junchan is slowly but surely growing right ?

It took me an entire lifetime to update and I'm really sorry TT I was busy working on 'That Night' but I missed those kids so yeah, there !

Notice that it's not the ending yet ! I have one more chapter planned, but I can't tell you when it will be out though .. Please stay tuned to read more and feel free to share your thoughts !

I'm endlessly thankful and sending you love,

Please take care and stay healthy ♥