fat.

worthless.

ugly.

the powerful three. they float around yoongi's mind and then attack him at any given second. they hurt but he deserves it, at least that's what he thinks. if they say so, it must be true, right?

beautiful.

mesmerazing.

perfect.

is hoseok right, that's what yoongi thinks. is hoseok more worth it than the other voices in his head? he loves hoseok, why wouldn't hoseok be right? 

you aren't eating it.

that has exactly 316 calories, i am not an idiot. you are trying to fatten me.

i am trying to save you.

whenever they eat, it's a fight. maybe hoseok wants to save yoongi but then he has to do it some other way. food isn't the answer. food simply can't be the answer.

150 crunches.

50 push-ups.

300 sit-ups.

he feels light-headed after each workout but he must do it. he can't let himself get any fatter than he is. it's impossible to be this fat. hoseok is already knocking on the door but yoongi won't answer. just the last crunch and he will be fine. he will get skinny.

weightless.

skinnier.

fatless.

they can't have anymore since yoongi bruises too easily. they've settled up with kissing. yoongi loves kissing hoseok, feeling his warm and soft lips against his cold ones. but sometimes yoongi just... he doesn't feel like it. he loves hoseok but he hates himself.

help me.

i'm okay, i'm fine, i'll do better.

i'm dying.

but yoongi needs to see hoseok graduating, living, breathing.

i love you.

and then he collapses.