Jealousy

Resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage; mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, as in love or aims.

"Oh hyung the show started!" Minhyuk lifted his head from the couch for Hoseok to wiggle in before resting his head on the other's thigh. By now, Hoseok had gotten used to the latter's touchiness, but his heart still goes out of control when it happens. Hoseok focused on the drama that Minhyuk had convinced him to watch, his fingers moving on their own, threading themselves in Minhyuk's soft blonde locks. 

Oppa, why do you love me?

This posed an interest to Minhyuk. He wanted to know, he desperately needed to know, what he meant to Hoseok. Unknowingly, he had gotten attached to the said male, having spent much time with him over the past one month. He got to learn about Hoseok, the child trapped in a grown man's body, the fragile heart hidden by the strong stance of a body builder, and the silliness behind the look of a god. It was enough. Hoseok had been pulling on his heartstrings ever since the first day he stepped into the house, and try as he might, he eventually fell for the other, hard. He had saw him cry once, even if it was for a movie character, it still broke his heart. Minhyuk wanted to protect the smile he had on his face, and shelter him from the storms in life. 

"Hyung, isn't it cliche that all the heroines ask that question? It's hard to answer isn't it?"

"Hmm, yeah..."

Minhyuk sat up and pressed his body against Hoseok while placing his head on his shoulder.

"Say hyung, what do you like about me?" Hoseok was taken aback. Minhyuk, did he know? He thought he had been discreet enough to not show his feelings in front of the other. He had purposefully broken eye contact before, rudely rejected the offer to go out shopping for supplies together and simply ignored the other sometimes. Surely Minhyuk couldn't have got it figured out, right? 

"What're you talking about?"

"We've been living under the same roof for a month now. Surely there's something that you like about me for you to continue staying with me." Whoa, hold on. He really figured it out? Minhyuk got his answer without Hoseok having to say anything. Hoseok's phone had given him away. His screen lit up, displaying a notification from none other than his girlfriend. Of course, what did Minhyuk expect? He got back with his girlfriend. Hoseok is good looking, has an adorable personality that every girl would fall for. And of course, Hoseok is straight as a ruler, really, did Minhyuk realy think Hoseok would be in love with a dude, much less one who earns money by selling his body to women and men alike? Minhyuk might even have STDs for all he know... Haha, how naive of Minhyuk to actually believe in fairytale endings. Life isn't that easy. Minhyuk didn't have to be told twice. He immediately changed the topic.

"Oh your girlfriend? How is she like? Is she pretty? Wow, even hyung has a girlfriend, how nice..." Minhyuk bombards Hoseok with everything he can think of, so as to divert Hoseok's attention away from his voice that was about to crack. So that's it huh, his little dream, getting crushed by a presence that he haven't even met, but know he'll never be able to beat. It hurts. Hoseok wasn't dealing with the situation too well either. He contemplated what the other actually meant when he said 'how nice'. Had he been taking it wrong all this time? The lip bites,  the seductive gaze and the excessive touching, does it all mean nothing to him? Was it all merely an occupation habit? And Hoseok was here thinking that the younger was showing interest in him. Before he could stop Minhyuk, the other had already gotten a hold of his phone and was looking at the message.

"Ooh hyung you have a date! You need to go get ready! Go go! You look like crap as of now!" As enthusiastic as he may have sound, his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. But Hoseok don't have to know. He don't need to know how Minhyuk's heart would involuntarily beat faster whenever he sees him smile. He don't need to know how his laughter is the most pleasant thing that helps Minhyuk sleep at night. He don't need to know how adorable he looks when he eats and nearly cause a mini heart attack for Minhyuk. He don't need to know that Minhyuk is jealous of his girlfriend and all of him that she owns. Because nothing matters anymore. Minhyuk would just have to it up and face reality. And that reality is that Hoseok would never be his. 

Hoseok was forced into the shared bedroom and he sat on the bed, staring at the phone on his lap. Yeah, he had responsibilities. How could he have forgotten about Soojin and let his mind fill with something else, something that is wrong to simply think about. Soojin, the wonderful girl that stood by him and respected and followed whatever his choices were, always being considerate and helpful. Soojin had been nothing but nice to him throughout the course of their relationship, Hoseok knows that. That's why he felt guilty. He still had a couple more hours, it being an afternoon lunch date. Soojin was just checking up on him, knowing that he could be quite forgetful sometimes. 'Nope, I didn't forget. I'll be there.' Hoseok texted back after getting ready. He stepped out into the living room, and found Minhyuk quietly eating ramen from a cooking pot while scrolling through whatever he was looking at on his phone. 

"Is this alright?" Minhyuk jumped a little from the sudden sound of Hoseok's voice. He nodded and quickly slurped up the last of his noodles. 

"Yeah, it's perfect! Now go get your girl or you're going to be late for the date!" Minhyuk babbled on and on while pushing Hoseok towards the door. 

"There's still have a lot of time." Hoseok replied as he slowly put on his shoes, not paying attention to the way he was fumbling with his laces. Minhyuk knelt down behind him and took the laces into his hand, tying them into a neat ribbon. Hoseok was screaming internally at the close proximity, trying to find words to get Minhyuk to stop what he was doing. He had no idea the effect he had on the older. 

"It's better to be early! Good luck hyung!" Minhyuk patted the older on his back and started shoving him out the door. Goddammit Minhyuk, stop pushing me away. The thought of ditching the date crossed his mind. But Soojin... 

"You... Is it really okay with you for me to go out?" 

"What do you mean?" What else can he possibly say? No? It's not within his control. 

"What I am saying is-! I- I mean, won't you be bored alone?" Stop. Stop giving me hope. Stop sending me mixed signals. Stop playing with my feelings. I hate you Hoseok. 

"No, I'll be fine! You should go enjoy your date and stop worrying! Right before I forget..." Minhyuk grabbed his hand and stuffed a in it. "Stay safe." He added with a little wink. It was a bold move on his part. He would probably regret it later but he has nothing else to lose. That's right. A small parting gift with his mismatched first love, time to bury up all those feelings and move on. Minhyuk had high hopes for himself. He didn't look too bad so in any case, he still had his game in the dating world. With a small click of the lock, he was gone. 

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Hoseok didn't know what he was feeling at the moment. A wave of disappointment hit him when Minhyuk had gave him the protection. He knew what Minhyuk was suggesting and he did not like the idea one bit. Yet there was no reason for him to dislike the idea. Soojin had a nice body, so he didn't know why he felt upset. Then, there was anger. It just arised out of thin air, while Minhyuk was busy pushing him out the door to meet his girlfriend. And again, why? Why did he feel angry? He was excited to meet his girlfriend, but, something just made him reluctant to leave the house. He didn't even know why he asked Minhyuk those questions that he did. Now it was just pure frustration. Frustration caused by Minhyuk who seemed to have occupied his mind. He ruffled his hair in agony. Why is this happening to him? 

Ding.

A message popped up onto his homescreen. 

Hyung, did you eat my ice cream?

It was a mere question, yet it felt like an obligation to the man hopelessly falling into his pit of doom that he had dug for himself. Time, he still had time. He decided to ditch the years of tranquil bliss and instead opt for one that he wasn't even sure about, but had made him feel the intensity of what real love was like. One that caused his heart to beat so erratically, one that caused him to feel emotions he never thought capable of feeling, one that made him feel alive. There wasn't anything that he wanted more than that. 

"Your ice..." 

"Why are you here?" 

His eyes were wide open, surprise written clear on his face. Minhyuk had never been one to be able to be able to hide his emotions. His face was like an open book. Hoseok handed over the ice cream before letting his knees give way and fall to the ground. Minhyuk instinctively held onto him, afraid that he might hurt himself. 

"What... The ice didn't even melt one bit. You don't have to run back for this, you know." 

He didn't have to. But he wanted to. 

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In the end, Hoseok had ended up ditching the date. 

Minhyuk felt bad about it. It was technically his fault; if he hadn't texted Hoseok about the ice cream, the said man probably wouldn't have ran all the way back. He had simply wanted to tease the other for eating his food, but he never expected Hoseok to do that. 

He didn't know how to face Hoseok. 

What was the older trying to imply? 

Minhyuk needed a change of air. The atmosphere in the apartment was pressurising, almost depressing, to an extent. He pulled out his phone and sent out a message.

Minhyuk: Can I come over now?

The reply came instantaneously, as if the other had been waiting for his text.

Hyunwoo: Yea sure. Is something wrong Minhyukkie? 

Minhyuk was thankful to have such a friend.

Minhyuk: No, I just wanted to hang out. Don't worry ^^ 

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Hoseok hated the way Minhyuk avoided him like plague. He hated the clothes that showed too much of Minhyuk's skin. He hated the fact that Minhyuk is choosing someone else to spend time with. He despised everything. He had looked out the window after the younger left, to be greeted by the sight of a tall, buff male leaning against a shiny black sports car. His blood boiled when the two hug. Despite so, he could do nothing about it. Helplessness was all he felt. Minhyuk had smiled, that everwarming smile of his, where his eyes turned into little cresents. Hoseok wanted to be the reason he smiles, but it wasn't the case. 

Jealousy. So this is the feeling of jealousy.