The workload at camp was no joke. On the first day, Eunji found that each teacher had assigned roughly an hour of homework. How was she going to do all this in the free time she had from 7 PM till lights out at 11 PM? There were some other activities the students could do during this time, like go to the gym or pool, play board/card games in the rec room, watch movies in the theater, but Eunji couldn’t comprehend how any other camper found time to spend time anywhere outside the library. Feeling a little overwhelmed and alone on her first day, Eunji grabbed all the materials she could possibly need and trudged over to the library. She was in the girl’s dorms on the west side of campus, and to get to the library she had to cross the campus Green, which was basically a little park with a wide sloping field dotted with benches and trees. A lot of students chose to spend their time on the Green when it was nice out, playing soccer or volleyball and having little picnics with food purchased from the cafeteria. It was all a very depressing scene for the suffering students in the library to watch.

Eunji huffed as she struggled up the hill, struggling to balance an assortment of notebooks, pens, headphones and various snacks. There was so much she had to do tonight: read up on mic recording basics, complete an online workshop on the Logic Pro software, finish that booklet on vocal singing techniques and--

“Hey, look out!”

Eunji slowly lifted her heavy head to see a Frisbee hurtling towards her at an alarming speed. It hit her head with a loud thwack! and sailed back in the direction of its origin, as if it hadn’t just delivered a painful blow to Eunji’s forehead.

“What the hell?!” Eunji rubbed her reddening forehead and angrily looked around for the Frisbee-flinging offender. What a fantastic cherry-on-top of an already stressful day. Eunji felt like crying. God, the tears were welling up already. One of the things she hated most about herself was how easily she cried whenever she felt sad, afraid, angry or any emotion, really. Gruffly swiping at her watery eyes, she could make out the blurry figure of someone running up the opposite side of the hill, waving their arms frantically.

“Eunji!” The lanky figure yelled out from the distance. Chanyeol? He jogged up to her with that familiar loping gait. Of course it had to be Chanyeol. It was almost unnatural how often she’d been running into him the past couple days that she wasn’t even surprised that he was the one she was seeing now.

“Oh geez, Eunji, are you okay?” Chanyeol bent down to earnestly search her face. The concern in his eyes just made her want to cry even more. Eunji pulled away, fighting the tears away and swallowing the lump that formed in .

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” She turned away roughly so he wouldn’t see her red face and leaned down to pick up everything she’d dropped. Chanyeol caught both her shoulders with his large hands before she could turn completely away from him. Eunji felt cornered, both physically and emotionally, as he carefully examined her face for a moment.

“Your forehead is getting red.” His thumb brushed the red splotch that was quickly forming in the center of her forehead.

“Yeah, because you threw a freaking Frisbee at it,” Eunji pushed away the hand on her face with her free arm. She felt embarrassed, angry, flustered, all the most overwhelming emotions over this tiny little Frisbee, and she didn’t know why.

“Sorry…” he cringed at her harsh tone, but kept his hands firmly planted on her shoulders. “But are you really okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why are you… why are you crying?”

“I’m not-” she pushed away the hands on her shoulders. “I’m not crying. Okay?”

“What’s wrong?” Chanyeol stepped back as Eunji knelt on the grass to gather her things.

“Uh. Just stressed out, I guess. The Frisbee didn’t help.” Chanyeol squatted down too, and picked up some of the snacks she’d dropped.

“Were you going to the library?” Chanyeol had all the snacks clutched in his big hands.

“Yep.” Eunji sighed.

“Well. Maybe you should take a break.” Chanyeol stood up and offered a hand to Eunji. “I think you need a break.”

“Uh, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” Eunji let out a sharp breath. “That Logic workshop is due tomorrow for our class and I have to read about stupid vocal techniques for Voice and I have a bunch more workshops for Recording I have to do, which I don’t even know where to get started with that and-”

“I know! I know.” Chanyeol put his hands out as if to stop her stress-induced blabbering. “I’ll help you with all of it later, I promise. But I think you really need a break right now.” Eunji sighed.

“And all of this food isn’t gonna eat itself, right?” Chanyeol held up the bags of chips and cookies in his hands. Shoving the bags under one arm, he put a hand on her shoulder and gently lead her to the foot of the hill.

    “So, what’s bothering you?” Chanyeol plopped down, leaning back into the base of the hill. Eunji sighed and sat down what she thought was a safe distance away from him.

    “I don’t know. I guess it’s just the stress of all these assignments. And... not really knowing anyone here yet.” Eunji laid back against the cool grass. The blue sky was tinged with a watercolor blend of burning oranges and yellows as the day quickly melted into evening. She felt a little calmer now, but now felt burning embarrassment quickly rising in her cheeks.

“What? You know me!” Chanyeol his side to face her. “And Sehun.” Eunji purposefully looked up at the clouds and not sideways to face Chanyeol’s open and eager face. She felt like she might cry again if she saw the concern in his voice reflected in his face. She felt so pathetic for making him worry about her having friends. Did he think she was a loser who couldn’t make new friends on her own? Because that’s what she felt like right now, as she wiped her teary eyes and listened to the comforting words of a person she barely knew.

“And we can introduce you to our other friends, too. You’d like them.”

She couldn’t believe that she’d let herself fall apart in front of him, the perfect Chanyeol. Since their first class together yesterday, she had only seen him again a couple of times in the halls, but in each interaction, he had proved to be more charming and captivating than she could have ever believed a person to be. Multiple times, he had caught her in the busy hallways when she had assumed she could slip away unnoticed or singled her out in an assembly hall, yelling her name out across the hall and waving an exaggerated hello.

People weren’t supposed to be this open to each other, not yet anyways. And she was the only one really exposing herself at all in this situation! Her shameful weaknesses were cut open for all to see, but the only one to witness her at her lowest was someone who seemed to have no weaknesses at all. It really felt unfair. They were resting on the same plane in the soft grass and lying down, they were actually at the same eye level. But in this position and this situation, she felt the smallest she ever had in his presence.

Eunji felt Chanyeol studying her face. She thought it might be okay if she just died now.

Suddenly, Sehun came thundering down the hill and skidded to a stop with his feet dangerously close to their faces on the ground.

“We’re gonna go to dinner now.” Sehun nudged Chanyeol’s head with the tip of his grass-stained shoe. “Oh, hey, Eunji.” Eunji smiled weakly up at him.

Chanyeol shoved Sehun’s shoe away and turned to face Eunji again, a little closer this time.

“Eunji, come eat dinner with us. You can meet everyone!” He gave her a big smile.

“But my assignments...” Eunji attempted weakly. Chanyeol laughed a little.

“I promise I’ll stay and help you after dinner, okay? Let’s go for now.” Chanyeol stood up and dusted his clothes off. He offered his hand to her again and looked at her expectantly.

Eunji looked up at his extended hand and time slowed just for a moment, the pastel sunset and Sehun’s quiet presence blurring in the background as Chanyeol’s wide smile shined bright at her. It was almost blinding, his smile, his kind words, his confidence, it was all much too bright for her.If she reached out and took his unassuming hand, if she trusted that he was everything she believed, would she get burned? Could she stand up and grasp the happiness he so easily exuded?

More importantly, did she deserve to?

Hesitantly, she lifted her small hand and slipped it in his larger one.

Her past, her insecurities, her fears, she didn’t want to face them right now. She wanted to believe everything Chanyeol offered, she wanted to believe that she could maybe step a little closer to his light. And maybe if she stayed long enough, he could make her a little brighter too.