I wake up slowly, lazily, shifting in the large bed without any real intent to get up. I groan, rolling over onto my front and – hit something. Something warm and soft. Something that mumbles sleepily and throws an arm across my face, smacking me.

‘Ah!’

I try to leap out of the bed, find one of my feet is caught in the sheets and fall onto the floor. My first thought is that I’ve been discovered, that somehow Mike has infiltrated the house and is… sleeping… next to me? No. That’s stupid. I tug at the bedclothes until my leg is free and stand up, feeling behind me for the curtain cord. The thick curtains whisper on their way up, and the bedroom is filled with honeyed light. The stranger sits up, blinking.

'So bright,’ she mumbles. I move until my back is pressed against the door and point at her. Even with the curtains up I can’t see her face clearly, she’s sitting in shadow.

‘Who are you?’

'What do you mean 'who am I?’ I’m your partner, obv – ah!’

Now it’s her turn to jump out of the bed with a yelp of surprise.

'You’re – you’re a girl?’

I stare at her. 'Um… yes?’

As I watch, a flush creeps up her neck and tints her cheeks. She claps her hands over her face. 'Ack… I thought you were a man! Wait. This is… housewife, right? Am I in the right place?’

'Yeah you are.’

She stamps her foot suddenly, and I jump. 'Why didn’t Aunt In tell me?’

'Tell you that I was a girl you mean?’

She doesn’t seem to be listening to me. ‘I thought you were… I can’t believe … I can’t believe that I slept in the same bed as –’ she pauses, looking me up and down, and her lips thin.

'What?’

'I can’t believe I slept in the same bed as – as a tom,’ she says vehemently. 'Ugh.’

'You – what?’

'A tom!’

'It didn’t occur to you that your 'spouse’,’ I mime air quotes, ‘might not be a man?’

'No.’ She’s still blushing, but its more aggressive than it is bashful. 'It didn’t. I didn’t know Aunt in supported… this.’

I didn’t know Aunt In employed homophobes. 'Are you going to be able to do this?’

'Do what?’ she snaps.

'Y'know... the assignment. We’re married. Are you going to be able to keep that cover up?’ I sit down on the bed, squinting at her. The last thing I want is a partner who’s uncomfortable working with me, even if it is because of her old-fashioned views. The girl however, draws herself up.

'Of course I will. I’m a professional,’ she says, clearly taking my comment as an aspersion on her abilities as an agent. I sigh.

'Ok. Well. Maybe I should introduce myself.’

She folds her arms and says nothing, so I take that as a 'go ahead.’

'My name’s Kim. Number 72. I’ve been working with the agency for five years now and…’ I cast around for a random tidbit to share. 'Um, I love to cook.’

She opens to say something, still looking irritated, when there’s a loud knock on the door.

'I’ll get it,’ I say quickly, and dart out of the room before the girl can respond.

I open the front door, and immediately my view is blocked by the largest bouquet of flowers I’ve ever seen.

'Ah… hello?’

'Hi!’ a voice emanates from the flowers. They shift as the person holding them places them on the ground, and straightens up, smiling. 'I’m Jane! I live next door!’

'Oh, hi! Um, I’m Kim. I just moved here.’

‘I know! I’ve come to welcome you to the neighborhood.’ Jane gestures a little helplessly to the bouquet. ’I didn’t know what flowers you liked so I... got them all.’

I laugh. 'Thank you. I like all flowers; I don’t have a favorite.’

'Good!’ Jane clasps her hands together. ‘I can tell you’ve only just woken up, so I won’t keep you. That’s really all I wanted to say, anyway. I hope you like it here, and if there’s anything at all you need I’m just next door.’

'Thanks!’

At that moment, I feel a warm weight against my shoulder, and someone slides an arm around my waist. I turn slightly in surprise to find my 'wife’ leaning on me, blinking in the bright sunlight.

'Hi honey,’ she says, stifling a yawn. 'Who’s this?’ she smiles a little blearily at Jane. I’m saved from having to answer (a feat I’m not sure I could accomplish right now) by Jane, who looks a little confused, and strangely put out.

'I’m Jane. I live next door.’

‘Nice to meet you, Jane!’

‘Oh, right. Jane, this is my wife, Pie.’ Saying 'my wife’ fills my stomach with fiery sparks. It’s a fake marriage between two people who don’t seem fated to get along, sure, but the idea of having a wife is enough to make me beam. I look down at Pie a little sheepishly, I can feel how stiff she is in my arms. ‘Sorry. It’s hard for me to believe we’re really married, so I forget to tell people. It seems too much like a wonderful dream.’ Pie looks up at me, beaming, and I get a good look at her face in the sunlight for the first time. She’s beautiful.

Just my luck.

I turn back to Jane and try to arrange my features into a casual expression. She’s still looking oddly down about something, but smiles as I make eye contact. ‘Welcome to both of you, then. Um, would you like to come to dinner at my place tomorrow evening? I’m having some people from around here over and you could get to know some of your other neighbors.’

‘That sounds lovely, thanks,’ says Pie. Jane nods. For a moment she looks like she wants to say something else, but decides against it, and walks away down the path. Pie closes the door as soon as she’s out of sight. When we hear the click of the lock she pushes away from me.

‘What was that?’

‘What?’ She moves into the kitchen and I traipse after her, dizzy with some kind of bemused trance.

‘The – the honey and the hugging and –’

‘We’re supposed to be newlyweds, right? I figure we’re still in the honeymoon period. That means being sweet on each other.’ She smirks over at me. ‘Are you going to be able to do that?’

I roll my eyes. ‘It was just a surprise.’

‘It’s called keeping up appearances. Something you clearly need some work on, forgetting to mention your wife. Although,’ she taps her chin, ‘you did cover it up smoothly.’

‘Thanks.’ I watch as Pie pulls open all the cupboards in the kitchen and the fridge, clearly inspecting her new home. ‘So when do you think we should try to set everything up at Mike’s house? Tonight? Just so we can get it underway?’

‘We need food.’

‘What?’

‘Look at this!’ Pie waves her hands around the kitchen. ‘No food anywhere! We’ll need to go shopping today.’

‘Did you hear what I –’

‘Yes I heard what you said.’

‘So, what do you think?’

‘I think we need to wait until we know more about Mike. If he has a night where he isn’t at home, that would obviously be the best time to do it.’

‘But wouldn’t sooner be better than later?’

‘They wouldn’t have given us this kind of assignment if anything urgent was going to happen soon,’ Pie mutters. ‘It would have been more of an infiltration thing. Did they give us any money?’

‘Yeah.’

Pie claps her hands. ‘Then let’s go. I’m starving.’

‘Wait!’

‘What?’ She glares at me.

‘It’s just… we’re both still in our pajamas.’

+

Honesty is something that a lot of agents have to let go of. I knew that when I started, I knew I was going to have to lie to people about who I was and what I was doing. And I do. Fairly easily, when the situation calls for it.

But there’s something about the complete lie of my relationship with Pie that reaches a new level for me. The untruth is so big that it encompasses every action, every word we say to each other.

And even though when we’re alone Pie doesn’t like me, I still prefer it to this charade.

‘Honey?’

'Mm?’

'What do you want for dinner?’

'I should be asking you that, since I’m going to cook,’ I say. I can feel Pie’s arm resting next to mine as we stand in front of the fresh fruit. We’d decided to go shopping together and practice being out as a married couple. Apparently to Pie being married means making sure at least a small part of us is touching at all times. 'Do you feel like curry?’

'That sounds lovely,’ she says, pressing her hands together. She’s so… sincere. That’s the thing about the lie - so far it doesn’t feel like a lie. When we were talking to Jane, when we’re out here, doing chores, it feels real. And it isn’t. It never will be. Not that I’d want it to be real. My ideal wife is definitely someone who actually enjoys being with me, but still. Somehow it makes it worse, how kind she is now compared to how cold when we’re alone.

Pie tugs my top, pulling me in the direction of the freezers, and I follow. It’s just a surveillance mission. I can’t imagine it taking more than a month to gather the information we need. I can last a month of this. I look over at Pie. She’s smiling at me, her cheeks dimpling. My skin feels electric; every move I make sends sparks up my spine. I can do it, can’t I?