23.

It was not possible to fall asleep that night.

Perhaps it was an hour ago that I clambered into bed, too lost in thought to even bother changing out of my clothes, and sat against the headrest, deep in reflection. What happened earlier left me both terribly addled and… should I have been shaken? This most likely would have been the case if not for Jaehyun; the mention of his name taking me back to earlier in the evening as I brought my knees up to my chest, staring at the opposing wall, recounting the moment we shared.

‘I…,’ I stammered, staring at him, struggling to find my voice. ‘I don’t… how do you know?’

Jaehyun didn’t seem intent on answering as his hands fell from my shoulders quickly and he made for the entrance again. ‘Come on.’

Coming to my senses at the thought of his departure, I quickly reached out for him, clutching his wrist that almost immediately brought him to a halt.

‘That kind of thing…,’ I paused, squeezing his wrist tighter which helped beckon his attention as he turned back to me again. ‘I haven’t uttered a word about it to anyone. How do you know?’

We stared at each other for a long moment thereafter; Jaehyun’s look one of undecipherable roots. That was until the image of Dongyoung suddenly flashed in my mind; the thought so sudden and yet so vivid, it threw me off.

‘We have to go see him.’

‘Who?’

‘You just saw him in your mind, didn’t you?’

The longer I held Jaehyun’s look, the more my mind began conjuring the most ludicrous of assumptions. It was not possible. Whatever was occurring right now was not and could not be considered normal. How did he know what just went through my mind? Sure, Jaehyun was a lot more perceptive than most people. But to be this concise, this accurate…

I was well aware of what it all appeared to be, but I was not willing to accept it because it was a maddening threshold I could not allow myself to cross. Not in these times of unrelenting question and unrest.

Jaehyun sighed; his eyes tearing away from mine down to my feet as they widened, as if some sort of realisation dawned on him in that instance.

‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured, looking genuinely apologetic. ‘I wasn’t thinking. You’re in no condition to go out, let alone at a time like this.’

‘Forget that,’ I interjected, too desperate for answers to be formal. ‘What just happened, Jaehyun?’

He was silent. Eyes everywhere but on mine, he finally answered, almost in a whisper, ‘tomorrow, I’ll explain everything.’

Jaehyun was both quick as well as reluctant to leave thereafter; my own thoughts and emotions enough to leave me conflicted whether or not I wanted him to stay. But the fright was quick to settle; my nerves easing as confusion reigned over when I saw him to the door, watching as he cast me one last look of concern.

‘Will you be OK?’

I would have laughed if not for how maddeningly my mind reeled. But I think I smiled anyway, feeling a misplaced comfort in his presence despite everything that just happened. I must have truly been losing my mind to be entertaining such crazed reactions. After everything, he was still concerned for my wellbeing, almost like it was a second nature of his now. I was positive by now that this was an ingrained trait of Jaehyun’s.

‘I think so,’ I answered, shaking my head, poking him further out the doorway. ‘See you tomorrow.’

The recollection was… oddly relaxing. The thought of Jaehyun and the heartfelt confessions I’d succumbed to in his company settling a pleasant warmth in my centre that compelled me to sleep. I couldn’t understand it. Then again, there was a lot I couldn’t seem to make sense of these days, be it Jaehyun, his housemates, or Jongin and Sehun.

The last of these thoughts, however, were quick to be swallowed up. No sooner did sleep come to me and I nestled in the comfort of my duvet, falling into a peaceful slumber.

I woke up the following morning feeling the most refreshed I ever had. The nightmare did not come to visit. And having garnered a good night’s rest, the first thing that came to me after sliding out of the sheets were Sehun’s words.

There was much to be done; the mystery of it all only deepening the more I uncovered; but I wasn’t willing to let his stories deter me. If it required an investigation of my own devices, then so be it. Following this determination was the reminder that I had to swing by the cabin today; the thought trailing the puzzling events of last night with it. Even after a good night’s rest, I couldn’t make head or tail of the phenomenon.

Such troubles were short-lived, however. The moment I entered the bathroom, combing my hair back as I treaded down the passage towards it, one look in the mirror and I knew I needed to get cleaned up before getting down to anything. My hair was a matted mess, my clothes dishevelled and certainly none to have slept in, and my makeup was smudged; the only thing missing from the equation was a killing hangover.

Showering and swapping last night’s formal wear for a more comfortable denim shirt, leggings and infamous trainers, I ambled downstairs and for the kitchen where Mum was already pottering about. It was a little after 8, after all. Sliding into a seat by the island, I snagged a tangerine from the fruit bowl and watched in silence as she turned from wiping down a counter, surprised to find me there.

‘Morning, doll.’

I smiled. ‘Morning.’

‘What’s with the mess in the sink?’ she raised an eyebrow at me as she approached, but the smile on her face wiped any sign of a threat it could have possibly implied. ‘I didn’t know we had guests last night.’

I swallowed reluctantly at that; my thoughts torn between a bluff that Gayoon had come in for a bit or the truth that a man was in here last night. There was no doubt my mother would have found suspicions in the truth despite their being none, and somehow, the prospect of said suspicions made my skin prickle with embarrassment.

‘Ah…,’ I paused, feeling guilty for even thinking such preposterous things. ‘That. You see…’

‘Don’t worry. I know he was in here.’

If not for the grin on my mother’s face, I knew I would have looked just as mortified as what the thought of a man being with me so late in the night at home implied. Instead, I found myself more curious as I plucked out another segment of tangerine. Mum took it as a means to explain.

‘He came by a few minutes before you got home. It really is the same boy from the hospital that night. I asked if he wanted to come in and wait after letting him know you were out, but he was quick to decline. A nice, polite boy, that one.’

I couldn’t help but return her smile as I imagined the scenario. It really was a lot like Jaehyun to not want to cause inconvenience for anyone, so the story wasn’t surprising.

‘Yeah…,’ I eyed the last of the fruit in my hands, fiddling with the peels. ‘He is, huh.’

Mum hadn’t moved to pursue the subject and I was only grateful she didn’t. A comfortable silence settled between us as she turned again, picking up where she left off preparing her breakfast, it seemed.

‘Are you going to be home today?’