Roses
Finale — Save Me

Today whole Big Bang was sleeping over the dorms because they had packed schedules. It was absolutely inefficient for them to drive back and forth from their homes to the YG building, so they took advantage of the possibility and a privilage to stay at their workplace. Just as the old days, Seungri and Jiyong shared a room. This time, TOP preferred to live with Deasung, while Youngbae had a bedroom to himself. 

The maknae of the group blinked suddenly when he felt a strong pain in his chest, awakening from his slumber. He frowned and grabbed his phone to check the hour. It was right 5:55am, mere five minutes before he had to wake up in order to prepare for his busy day. 

Shaking his head, he turned off the alarm clock and quietly tip toed towards the bathroom. Once he was there, he made sure that the doors were shut. Out of blue, his body began to shake uncontrollably as he coughed like there was no tomorrow. He squeezed his eyes shut and covered his mouth to muffle the noise. The agony continued for a solid minute that seemed like an eternity to him. 

Once he was done, he gradually revealed his honey orbs and pulled away from his fingers. He was surprised to see something on his hands. 

“Petals?” he whispered and then it hit him. Hanahaki disease. “,” he hissed, annoyed. He knew the illness well and its consequences.

“Language, Ri,” GD’s sudden voice from the hallway made his heart accelerate in no time. 

The youngest member hastily threw the petals into the toilet and immediately flushed it, making sure that there were no traces of the petals. Just a second later, the leader appeared by the door frame and frowned. 

“You okay?” Dragon asked, worry slightly audible in his tone. 

“Of course,” Panda replied instantly and put on his poker face. “Excuse me.”

With that, the donsaeng escaped to his room, leaving a confused hyung who just shrugged, assuming that the younger idol was just having one of his odd moods.

The day passed all right as they practiced their new choreography. Luckily, they recorded their voices and the song was nearly completed, so there was no need for them to work with their voices. Otherwise, Seungri would be doomed. With his coughing that occurred every half an hour, he wouldn’t be able to record vocally. 

As a person who usually easily got the dance moves, it was startling for the teacher to see Ri so clumsy and forgetful. 

“You seem out of form today, Seungri-ah,” the choreographer noted with his arms crossed, wondering what could have been the cause. 

“I just have a bad day. I think I’m slightly sick. You know that I will catch up in no time, hyung,” maknae assured with a nervous laugh. It was true though, in the group he was always the first one to get full choreo right. 

He opened his mouth to say something more, but a strongly tingling sensation in his throat made him abruptly abort towards the restroom. He bolted away as if he was shocked by electricity, avoiding everyone's eyes. 

“I guess, it’s time for a break,” the teacher sighed and Big Bang scattered around to catch on their breaths. 

Panda was heavily panting as he managed to cough up over dozen of red petals. This time though, they were bigger and thicker, which made coughing much more agonizing. A tear rolled down his cheek as he realized how terribly conflicted and confused he felt. 

Should he go and tell somebody about this? If someone got to know, then wouldn’t he be hindering and delaying Big Bang’s highly anticipated comeback? If he keeps it a secret, there was no way that he would manage to pull a live show without coughing here and there. Even worse, he could die any moment if the disease chose to develop faster. Perhaps he should go see a doctor? But then again, he would have to disclose the appointment to his manager and the word would spread.

He was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn’t notice Youngabe entering the bathroom. “Riri?!” the hyung screeched upon seeing the scene. 

“H-hyung!” Panda barely squirmed before he was once again coughing. 

The petals freely fell over the sink and Bae came up to him, patting his back not sure what to do. 

“Is that why you were feigning to be sick all day long?” Teayang cautiously asked, eyeing the younger. 

“Please don’t tell anybody,” was the first thing that slipped from Ri’s mouth, with wet orbs. 

“Why? Why don’t you just undergo the surgery?” the older man further inquired, not understanding his fellow bandmate’s reasoning. 

“I don’t want to worry you any more than you are already. I know that the comeback is stressing you all. The surgery? Ah, I discovered the disease this morning, so I didn’t think about it that far,” Seungri honestly answered and gathered the petals. “I… I don’t want to give up just yet.”

“How long do you want to wait? You know that you should go to the doctor tomorrow to see how Hanahazaki has developped already.”

“I know, I promise, I will go,” Ri assured his hyung and threw away the flowers' leftovers into a thrash can. 

“It’s Jiyong, isn’t it?” Youngbae suddenly whispered and his eyes glistened with pain. 

Panda at first froze and then exhaled longily. There was no point in hiding it. All members knew about his feeling for the leader beside… the leader himself. “Yes,” he admitted.

The rest of the day luckily passed by quite quickly and the Big Bang’s baby succeeded in using the excuse of feeling sick without any problems. 

“You should go to the doctor with this. It’s better to prevent the illness before it grows into something more serious,” Ji noted as he slipped into their shared bedroom. 

“I know, I scheduled an appointment already at 7 am,” Seungri assured and hid in his