Please don’t bother reading this unless you’re for some reason curious to know about my recent unexplained hiatus. It’s probably going to be really long and boring.

Let me just start by saying, I’m sorry I didn’t officially announce a hiatus or let anyone know that I wasn’t going to be able to update or why. The truth is, I actually thought I was going to be able to update this semester. By the time I realized that wasn’t going to happen, it had been so many weeks since I updated, I didn’t want to post just to say, “oh hey sorry guys can’t post anything haha!” because that would just be lame. So I thought, I’ll wait until I have another chapter ready and then I’ll let them know. Well, that wait turned out to be much longer than I expected.

Why did this happen? It’s a little personal, but I’d like to explain myself anyway. My grandmother has dementia. She lives with my family. After my first year scholarship ended, my parents and I came to agreement: they pay for my tuition, and in exchange I take care of my grandmother for them. Basically, this has become my full-time job. I go to my classes, come home, and watch my grandmother until she goes to bed at night.

Before this started, I thought I was going to be able to multitask—i.e., sit in the room with her and write while she just chills. Turns out this was not at all what it was going to be like. She gets delusional very easily, and if she doesn’t have enough physical activity or social interaction, she’ll get depressed or begin thinking someone’s trying to hurt her.

In the end, I barely had time to get my homework done. And I don’t have time (meaning, I don’t feel like it) to talk about all my other random commitments in life…but believe me, there’s more.

Needless to say, fitting any writing time into my schedule was basically impossible. I wanted to write. I just couldn’t.

None of this means that I’m miserable or depressed or anything like that. Not at all. I’ve actually really enjoyed spending time with my grandmother. It’s taught me a lot, and it’s a good deal for me. I help my family out, and I don’t have to worry about tuition.

And, it turns out not having the stress of trying to update as often as possible can be pretty nice. I know almost all of that stress was self-inflicted, but it still stands.

I do have to confess something, though. For a while now, I haven’t been very happy with my writing or how this story is coming out. I think the initial idea was just so weird and unusual for a fanfic, I was in a constant war with myself over staying the course for my original idea of this story and making it more enjoyable and readable. I think I started worrying more about writing chapters people would like instead of writing chapters I liked. It’s made for what I consider forced writing of questionable quality.

The thing is, if every single reader told me they didn’t like the story and don’t care to see the ending, I probably would just stop and move on to my own private stories. I think it was a little too ambitious of me to try to write another fanfic.

BUT, because I said I’d finish this, and because I think there’s at least one reader out there who wants to see the end of this story, I’m going to finish it.

So if you were worried, stop that.

Anyway, from now on, I’m sorry to say, there’s going to be little to no consistency. I’m just going to update whenever I can.

Also, I’m going to try to be a little more honest to myself about what I like and what I don’t like. If I don’t enjoy writing this story, kinda doubt anyone will enjoy reading it.

I hope everyone will try to understand. I’m thankful to anyone who waited and doesn’t hate me. It means a lot to someone who really can’t picture any future in writing at this point in her life. (Is there anyone? Ha…heh…nervous laughter)

All that aside, I’m glad I had time to write again! I can’t say when it’ll happen again, but it’s great to get back to storytelling. I missed it like crazy.

If you actually read all of this, I’m really impressed with you. Or maybe more like confused. And a little disgusted. Do you just not have a life or something? Why are you reading this whiny garbage?

Go away. Yes. That’s it. Go. Shoo.

<3