Friday, December twenty-first 2001.

She was watching the stormy day through the glass; she hadn’t done anything else since she got on that bus at 9 AM to come back to her hometown. She spent every Christmas holiday in her mother’s house since she came back from China three years ago. Moreover, Hoseok wanted to meet up with Yoonji and her before he left the city, after a long time not doing so.

He was a busy man now. As soon as he graduated in SOPA he auditioned to several entertainment companies, and one of them accepted him as a choreographer and dancer. So at that moment, with him being twenty-seven years old and at the peak of his artistic career, he didn’t have too much free time.

As for Yoonji, she worked in a local television network in Incheon, as a weather woman, they didn’t see each other that much either because there was 115 kilometers of land between them. However, they still talked often via SMS.

Regarding Kim Taehyung…that’s another story. Yebin started to remember, visualizing her memories from five years ago as if they were a movie. She agreed in having a date with him, and it wasn’t that bad, they liked each other so much they accorded to have a second date, and a third. They have had the fifth or sixth date when Taehyung asked her to be her boyfriend officially, she of course said yes; as it was pretty clear she liked him a lot.

But not so long after they started dating Hoseok wanted to go back to Seoul, because his stay in Gwangju was just a mere break from the big city, but Taehyung decided to stay there. He told his friend he would boost his career as a saxophone player, because he didn’t like the idea of making his relationship with her –that wasn’t even two months old – into a distance relationship. Everything was fine at first, he was hired in a local orchestra that paid him pretty well, she started her last year in college and her mother was finally back. They spent a lot of time together and barely fought, when they did so, it was over stupid things and within half an hour they were apologizing to each other.

The problems started around May 1998, they had been more than a year together at that time. A solo concert was offered to Taehyung, who happily accepted the offer, hoping to catch the eye of some recruiter. The concert was a success, but Yebin didn’t go.

∞

‘I’m afraid I won’t be able to go.’

‘But you promised me, Yebin, can't you make an exception for me that night? You are always studying.’

‘I know, Tae, and I am the one who feels sorry the most, but I have my worst subject’s final test next week and I’m on my last year, I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’

‘Like you promised to make it up to me for the last three dates you cancelled due to your finals?’

‘Hey, did you really call me to know if I am going to your concert or to reproach me that I’m not hanging out with you lately because I’m studying? Our relationship isn’t everything. You know…maybe we should give each other some time.’

‘Do you want to break up?’ She sighed.

‘Perhaps it’s the best for both of us, I need to focus on my studies and you deserve more than staying stuck here in Gwangju.’

‘You can’t force love on someone I guess. I hope you do well, Han Yebin, it’s been wonderful being your boyfriend.’ She nodded, without looking directly at him and Taehyung turned around and started walking in the opposite direction, letting out the breath he had been holding.

∞

He played magnificently that night, he poured his feelings and broken heart into his saxophone, making the melodies that came out of it sound so beautifully. When the concert ended a man approached to him, he said he was there in the name of some Min Yoongi, CEO of an entertainment company that was looking for artists, and that his skills with the instrument left him speechless. He offered Taehyung to go to Seoul to meet Mr. Min, who would hire him as an artist in his company. He accepted the offer, after all, he didn’t have much left to do in Gwangju.

Yebin didn’t hear from him until Hoseok called her two weeks later, doing a lot of questions about why the hell was Taehyung in Seoul refusing to answer any questions about their relationship. At that moment, she realized how cruel she had been, not thinking twice about breaking a one year long relationship just because she was stressed with her finals. However, her pride didn’t let her take a train to Seoul and apologize to the boy she was still in love with.

At that time, three years had passed since their break up, and the only thing she knew about him is that he was doing well as a famous saxophonist. The information was given by Hoseok, as always. Yebin was glad that he had the recognition he deserved and didn’t ask her friend anymore about him, because after all she had to focus on moving on with her own life.

Oh, and if it’s Yebin's life what we’re talking about, life had treated her quite well these last three years. Once she managed to graduate as the top student of her class, several schools offered her work in the biggest cities of the country to be a teacher of her major, history. However, she decided to go to a smaller city, Cheongju, to be able to live her life in a serene way. She didn’t have too many friends and her love life was completely null, but what the hell, she still wasn’t over her break up –funny, though, because she was the one who broke up with him–.

She snapped out of her little universe of memories when she heard the voice of the bus driver through the speakers, announcing they had reached Gwangju station, it was raining there, too. She got up and stretched her back. She smiled; she wanted to see her mother so badly.

~

Saturday, December twenty-second 2001.

Yebin looked at herself in the mirror again, peered at the clothes she was wearing, and smiled. Black jeans, a stripped t-shirt and black combat boots. She missed dressing like a twenty-five-year-old girl, since at the school she was working at there had a very strict dress code for both teachers and students. She decided to evade all thoughts related to her job since she was on vacation and left her room, grabbing her mocha bag and heading to the door of her mother's apartment, not before letting her know she was going to leave.

'Mom, I'm going out for a while. Hoseok invited Yoonji and me to have dinner at his house.'

'Okay, please don’t make too much noise when you get back.'

'Uh huh, I'll see you tomorrow, I guess.' She closed the door carefully and went downstairs.

Her friend's apartment wasn’t too far from her mother’s, crossing the Yeongsan River Bridge, in the Chipyeong neighborhood, famous for having dozens of cafés in its streets. Hoseok soon opened his apartment door once she had rung.

'Wow! You don’t look that bad to be so old, Hoseokie~.'

‘Ah ... Han Yebin, I'm only two years older than you, you shouldn’t tell me that.’ He spoke exaggerating his satoori, making Yebin laugh before giving her a hug. He gestured for her to come inside. When she came in, the warm air hit her face gently, this made her remember Level’s. I have to visit Mrs. Go before returning to Cheongju.

She walked down the long hallway and into the large living room, there she could finally see her friend Yoonji face to face, who had now cut her hair in a bob style.

'Yoonji, and are you kidding me with your new hairstyle? I hardly recognized you! You look gorgeous!’ She said, hugging her best friend.

'You too, please, let’s not wait this long to meet again next time.' Yoonji pouted and she laughed. They sat down on the couch, and the girl noticed there was already a tray with several cups of coffee on the tea-table, four to be exact.

'Whose cup is this for?' Yebin asked, frowning and lowkey waiting for the answer.

'That's what I was going to tell you now, Yebin... uhm... Kim Taehyung may have joined the party...' Her friend lowered his voice to every word he uttered. No way.

'Are you serious? Why didn’t you tell me anything? '

'Because I was afraid you'd decide not to come. I was planning the trip this year and he asked me if he could come, I couldn’t say no to him. After all, he was also part of our group of friends.'

'You are so stupid, did you really think that I wouldn’t take advantage of the few occasions I have to go and see my mother and friends at vacation period just because my ex is coming too? Please, Hoseok, I'm already twenty-five, I broke up with him three years ago. I've already moved on, I am a mature woman.’ When she finished speaking Yoonji, sitting next to her, pinched her forearm. Not that she had too much time to react to it anyway because Kim Taehyung had officially stepped in. She wasn't sure if it was because she hadn’t seen him in three long years, or that boy looked even better than he used to. He wore a gray plaid shirt and black trousers, his dark blond hair still messy, giving a rebellious air to that formal image. But something had changed in his gaze. The light that had always been in his eyes now was absent, they seemed... sad.

When his eyes laid on the girl for the first time in a really long time he seemed surprised, as if Hoseok hadn’t told him about her stay in Gwangju either.

'Han Yebin? Wow! I didn’t know you'd be here too, you look very pretty.' Taehyung showed that smile she hadn’t seen in three years, but it was a polite smile. Like the ones she used to give him in Level’s, when she thought he was some psycho stalker who was following her. She rose from her seat to greet him.

'What a coincidence, I wasn’t told you would be here, either.' She said exaggerating a forced smile, turning slowly to look at Hoseok, and making Yoonji and Taehyung laugh. 'Okay, now out of jokes, I'm glad to see you too.' She drew another smile on her face, this time sincere and they shook their hands.

∞

‘Oh? I’m sorry, I was dumbstruck.’ She bowed politely before him and he smiled again. He was really handsome, probably one of the most beautiful boys she had even seen in her life.

‘I asked you if you were also a night client. Yesterday you were here as well, am I right?’

Does he even notice that we are wearing the exact same clothes?

‘Ehh…yes, well, I mean, no. I don’t come here too often, but yeah, I was here yesterday.’

‘I see, my name is Kim Taehyung.’ He reached out his hand and Yebin intertwined the boy’s long and slim fingers with her own in a cordial hand shake.

∞

She shook her head slightly as she remembered that moment in the convenience store, and sat down again so that everyone could catch up.

~

Yebin held her hand to her stomach for the thousandth time that afternoon, it already hurt from all that laughter. To her surprise, it hadn’t been uncomfortable at all to have her ex-boyfriend there, sat right behind her. Moreover, it seemed that he was a good friend whom she hadn’t seen in a long time, and although she appreciated not to have felt the discomfort she thought she was going to feel, she could not help but feel a slight pang in her chest.

'Uh uh... I'm afraid I don’t have sesame oil left.' Hoseok appeared in the living room, with a very funny apron that had red flower drawing all over tied to his figure.

'Are you serious? I wanted to try your bulgogi, it's been too long since you cooked for us.’ Yoonji frowned, unhappy.

'I'm sorry, if neither of you wants to go to the convenience store to grab a bottle, I'm afraid I'll have to do something else for dinner.' Hoseok shrugged.

‘I'll go.’ Yebin held up her hand. It's the perfect occasion to see Mrs. Go.

‘I'll go with you!’ Taehyung snapped, gaining a surprised look from everyone in the living room. 'I mean, it's 19:39, the sun has already set and you shouldn’t go alone, I can go with you... if you want, of course.' He smiled nervously.

‘I’m okay with that, let's go now, it’s almost dinner time.’ She got up from the sofa and grabbed her bag, Taehyung walked right behind her and they left the apartment without even letting the surprised Hoseok and Yoonji say anything.

They didn’t say a word all the way in the elevator ride, although when they were already in the streets they managed to say the same thing.

'Let's go to Level’s!' And they both laughed.

'It's quite far from here, but if we hurry enough it will look like we've gone to the corner store.' Yebin winked and Taehyung laughed softly.

'True, plus, it’s a superb opportunity to see Mrs. Go. I haven’t seen her since forever.'

'What a coincidence, that's the reason I agreed to go and buy the sesame oil. The last time I saw Mrs. Go was a few months ago, when I was here in the summer.'

The walk, that lasted for twenty minutes or so, was short for them. They talked about how they had been doing in the last three years, but always avoiding anything that had to do with their relationship and/or their breakup. Despite this, the girl felt the same as when they left and talked about everything, when they debated about stupid things. Perhaps the only thing that lacked was that arm that slid down her back to rest on her waist; that hand that tickled her every now and then; those sudden jagi; those random kisses on the forehead. She was aware that she had made a great mistake by breaking with him the way she did, but now and only now would she be starting to realize it completely.

'Is it here? I don’t see any stores named Level’s.’ Taehyung said.

‘I'm 100% sure it's here.’ She frowned.

'It does not look like it; we must have gone to the wrong street.'

'No, that building used to be my apartment block.' She said, pointing to the huge gray building, in whose façade was a billboard. 'Which means Level’s should be... there?' But instead of the orange sign that spelled LEVEL’S. CONVENIENCE STORE; there was a green and white, new and brighter, in which Taehee's Drugstore was read.

'Well, I don’t see any convenience stores there.'

‘They must have moved or something, duh.’ Yebin rolled her eyes and Taehyung smiled, agreeing with her. 'Let’s go in and ask the manager, I really want to see Mrs. Go.' The boy nodded and they quickly crossed the street.

As she entered, she realized how much the establishment had changed. Everything seemed bigger, there were no signs of offers hanging from the ceiling; the shelves that used to be full of groceries now exposed thousands of beauty products under white lights. There wasn’t any music sounding either and apparently they had uninstalled the old speakers from every corner of the establishment. There were more people, most of them women, even though dinner time was almost upon them. The only thing in its place in the girl’s eyes was the cash register, behind it was a girl about their age, blond and with a sweet smile on her face, dressed in white. On his employee plaque it read Kong Suri. Soon, she addressed her.

'Excuse me, are you in charge of this place?' Before the so-called Kong Suri could even open someone had interrupted her.

'No, I am. Bae Taehee, owner and manager of this store. Can I help you with something?’ A much shorter girl than the previous one, with short black hair and dressed in white as well spoke with a smile, however Yebin could notice certain fakeness in this one.

'Actually, yes you can...there was a grocery store called Level’s, we are the owner Mrs. Go Jooyoung’s acquaintances, but we don’t live in this city. Today, we have come to see her but her store doesn’t seem to be here, do you know if she has moved her store to another place?' The manager had a confused expression but when Yebin finished talking it seemed she remembered something by the look on her face.

'Oh... Level’s closed its doors few months ago, in September if I remember correctly. The owner of the store was terminally ill and when she died her son apparently didn’t want to keep the business going, so after too much paperwork the store closed.’ Bae Taehee quickly said and Yebin felt as if someone had thrown a cold water bucket over her. She looked at Taehyung, who had the same expression as her.

'Okay... thank you so much for your attention...' The boy put an arm over her shoulder and the two of them left the store.

'I wasn’t expecting that at all.' Taehyung ran a hand through his dark blond hair.

Silence hung over both of them. Yebin stared at the road without saying anything, still in shock. She couldn’t say Mrs. Go's death affected her too much, because she would be a hypocrite, since her relationship with her was simply cordial. Though she felt like she owed her something anyway, she met her first love in that store, her store. This made her think about how her life had been like since she left Gwangju to live her life as an adult woman; the life of some people changes for the good, others’ for bad, but hers hadn’t changed at all. In Cheongju she lived well. Well, scratch that; in Cheongju she lived peacefully, but that's it. The cold December breeze made her sneeze, catching Taehyung's attention.

'Bless you. Here, have a tissu– her, are you crying?' Yebin’s head lifted quickly, laughing nervously as she removed the wild tears that ran down her cheeks. 'I know Mrs. Go was very kind, but have you been so affected by her death?'

'Ah... that's not it, you idiot! I was just thinking...‘ She started walking down the street, knowing that the boy would follow her one way or another.

'Wait! And shall I know what were you thinking about?'

'Kim Taehyung, answer honestly. What... how’s your life now?’ The girl stopped dead, for they had reached the sidewalk across the street.

'Well, we've already talked about this when we were on our way here, I've had success in a sense as a saxophonist and my income isn’t bad compared to other musicians, so it’s fine I guess. Why are you asking me this again?’ He cocked his head, confusion visible on his face, illuminated by the dim light of the nearest street lamp, six or seven meters away.

'I wasn’t talking about your monthly income. Regarding your feelings, how are you?'

'I’m okay I guess, I adapt quickly to changes, and in Seoul I have been treated fairly well. Are you not happy?'

'That's not it exactly... I haven’t even realized it until now, but when I entered there,' she pointed with her head at the drugstore. 'Entering there has made me think that maybe I've lived these last years in an unnecessary rush. This afternoon I've been hearing all the exciting anecdotes that Hoseok, Yoonji and you have told and the only thing I can think of right now is that, while those anecdotes of yours are simply part of your daily life, I'm in the middle of my twenties and since I was twenty-two I have been so worried about the future that I have forgotten to live the present.’ She paused to try to steady her trembling breath, to no avail. 'I haven’t lived in a bad way; I have lived the wrong way.' At this point, Yebin could no longer contain her tears, which began to sprout silently from her eyes; the boy noticed this and ran a hand over her shoulders.

'Hey, don’t cry. Let's sit here.’ Without letting go of her he continued. 'And why didn’t you say anything? Maybe I wasn’t the best choice, but what about Hoseok? Yoonji? You don’t even have to go to them if you do not wish to; your mother came back three years ago, didn’t she?'

'I was afraid of being a failure, I thought that if I worked hard and succeeded, I would be happier, but all I've done is to get away from the people I love, and that includes you.' She wiped away her tears, only for them to come out again. 'You know? I hoped I didn’t have to mention anything about our past relationship to not to bring discomfort between us, but I remember one of the phrases you used to tell me to get off the desk. Youth is never coming back. Maybe you were right.’ She smiled bitterly as she dropped her head on the boy's shoulder.

'I'm probably just an ex you haven’t talked to for three years, but let me give you a little life tip. If you ever feel that you have not chosen the right path, have the strength to go back on your steps and choose correctly, no matter how many times, starting from zero.’ At this she lifted her head, sticking her glossy eyes on the boy's.

'I think the first person I should apologize to is you. I don’t deserve it, but forgive me for breaking up with you in the cruelest way possible, for having broken your heart, for not having gone to that concert that was so important to you and for all the promises I couldn’t keep. I would also apologize for being selfish but I still want to ask you something, so that would be a little hypocritical.’ She smiled sadly before continuing. 'I want to start from zero with you. I want to go back to March fourteenth, 1997 in Level’s. I want to apologize for thinking you were a stalker. I want to return the 8000₩ that you spent when you paid for my dinner. I want us to wear the same clothes, casually or purposely, I don’t really care now.’ Her lower lip began to tremble, tears threatening to fall again. ‘I want to accidentally tell you that you are a very cute boy, I want you to laugh and I want me to feel ashamed for thinking out loud. But the thing I want the most is to accept that date to know you better.’ The tears were already falling like salty waterfalls on her cheeks.

'Whoa, that's a lot of things.' Taehyung laughed softly and laid a hand on Yebin's head. ‘Generally my pride wouldn’t allow me to accept so many things, but although these three years in Seoul have been happy ones, I couldn’t help but feeling somewhat empty on the inside. So get up.’ He took her hand and lifted her from the pavement they were sitting. ‘I think I'll accept your apologies on one condition. You have a date with me. Only one, if you don’t like me or I look like a stalker to you after all, we won’t cross our paths ever again, but I'd like to get to know you better. What do you say to that, Han Yebin?’ He smiled warmly at the girl who almost drowned herself with her own tears.

'I accept your proposal.' She said with difficulty before getting lost in the boy's arms, feeling full again for the first time in three long years. At that moment, four simple words filled her head.

Thank you, Mrs Go.