Hyukjae’s POV

His life has a time limit. I don’t want to sit and look what will happen.

His life has expiration date and I don’t want to regret anything because of that.

2 years ago

I first saw him 2 years ago. I was on my rebellious phase that time. I liked to party. I liked to different girls. I liked to drink—a lot. I liked to cut classes. I will do everything that pleased me. I am the new cool kid in the block. I was 1st year college and I have the looks, talent, and money. No one will hate me.

Eventually, I also learned how to smoke. I was puffing my cigarette alone when that once in a life time moment happened in my life.”! Tell me, are you still breathing?” I was busy puffing my cigarette that time when I heard some noises coming from the music room.

I usually smoke behind the conservatory of music building. The reason? The windows and doors are tightly shut in this building so that the noises coming from each room won’t be heard outside. But that time I notice that one window was fully open. I quickly stepped on my cigarette.

“Hang on Hae—hang on. I will call Heechul Hyung!” again that voice. I can still remember the loud bang of the door. Naturally curious, I took a peak at the open window. Someone was lying down on the couch. Both of his hands were covering his face. I can still remember—the first time I laid my eyes on you.

I can still remember how hard you gasp for air, like a fish that was pulled out from its tank. “Ki—ll m—e!” that’s the words I heard coming out from your mouth. I recall those tears that fell out from your covered eyes. I can’t help but clutch on my chest. It was painful to watch and I don’t know why.

The memories of that day were still fresh, I can still remember how I climbed on the open window and run towards you. I don’t know you and I know that you don’t know me. I didn’t have a valid reason to stay by your side that time, but seeing you in pain is enough to feel the pain that you were feeling that time.

“Are you—okay?” I asked you, but you didn’t look at me. You just kept on crying and mumbling incoherent words. Your chest was thumping hard and irregular. “Do you have a hard time breathing?” I asked again, though I didn’t expect any response from you.

To my surprised you pulled out your hands and I saw your messy face. You were crying so hard, but that didn’t catch my attention. That was the first time I saw your face. You have a very angelic face. You were staring back at me, but I don’t know if you can see me well. You have a pair of innocent eyes. Those eyes are begging me to help you out of your situation right now.

I didn’t know why I did those things today, but I can proudly say that for once Lee Hyukjae did something that he can be proud of. I saw how hard you tried gasping for air and the only first aid I know were the things I watched from TV dramas and movies. I can still remember your smell that day; you have a sweet intoxicating smell. It was like a spell.

I squatted in front of you that time and lifted your chin. I can still remember my hands touching your chin. I never pray so hard, but in that moment I prayed to all the saints in the world to save you. I lowered down my face after inhaling a huge amount of air and without thinking twice, I touch your lips—with mine and I blow air straight thru your mouth.

You have a very irresistible thin lip. I don’t know how many times I executed CPR on you, but I didn’t regret anything. I think, the only thing I regretted that time was not knowing you sooner.

1 year ago

I’m back to square one. I fixed my life and set a path to take. That was the first time in my life I achieved something on my own. I became the new dance club president. I have a proper set of friends who guided me in the right way.

That incident two years ago changed me big time .I befriend Cho Kyuhyun, your friend. I always asked him to hang out, but there was a tiny voice in my heart that hoped that when we hang out, you will show up.

I started stalking your instagram when Kyuhyun accidentally (not really) tagged you. My heart was beating so fast that I can still remember the excitement I felt up until now. I found out your name, ‘Lee Donghae’. For the second time, my life changed in instant.

I thought I only wanted to know the person I tried to save before, but I found myself following Kyuhyun one time. He said he can’t hang out that time because he needed to go to the hospital. That brat has a good family background.

I can still remember the first time I saw you walking towards Kyuhyun. You weren’t smiling or feeling glad to see your friends. You look so plain, but that time all I can see was the angelic Lee Donghae I first saw 1 year ago.

I even hid behind the pavement just to listen to your conversation, “What did my old man tell you?” Kyuhyun asked you. I peaked to take a glimpse of you, “Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?” can I say something? You have a very nice speaking voice Lee Donghae.

I was too preoccupied that that, I didn’t catch Kyuhyun’s replied, but I remember the pain and agony I felt inside the moment I heard your answer, “Good news, it looks like my medication was paying off since I didn’t experience any chest pain recently. The bad news is, the risk of having hemochromatosis—” you stopped talking all of a sudden, maybe it was because of Kyuhyun’s dumb face that time, “Hemochromatisi or excessive iron in the body. It’s a disorder in which my body doesn’t properly metabolize iron, causing it to build up in various organs, including my heart. This can cause an enlarged left ventricle due to the weakening of the heart muscle.” Your explanation was as clear as water.

That was the first time I felt hopeless. I have the urge to save you, but I don’t know how.

March 20**

I followed you everywhere Lee Donghae. You don’t like to go outside and I know the reason why. I was so into you that I tried to improve myself so the next time we will see each other again, I can proudly introduce myself to you. I became your secret night and shining amour. Whenever someone tried to approach you outside, I stopped them.

“Are you going to bring someone to your college week, Kyuhyun?” I secretly listen to Sungminnie. He is my best friend, and luckily Kyuhyun is head over heels of him. I pretended to chew the lunch I brought, “Can you still remember Heenim Hyung and Wookie?” He started. I wanted to answer that time, of course Sungmin and I know knows his friends. They always hang out every now and then.

I know that Sungmin likes Kyuhyun so much, but I asked him a favor to let Kyuhyun pursue him. Sungmin knows my reason, from the very start. I am very honest to him so he knew that all I wanted was to be close with Lee Donghae thru Cho Kyuhyun. “Yeah” Sungmin answer dryly. I can still remember how much anticipation I felt that time, “They will go—but I also hope that Hae will come.” And the name I’ve been longing for resurface from Kyuhyun’s mouth.

I can still remember the teasing look Sungmin gave to me, but I tried to act cool. “I don’t see any reason why he can’t come.” Sungmin may sound uninterested that time, but believe me, he is very interested to listen to whatever Kyuhyun will tell him. I started looking at your inst