❀ arinsays ❀

i've changed the font, do u guys think this is better or...?

also: jaena in this chapter is insp by yours truly. i couldn't even look at a boy until i was sixteen.

After kindergarten and right up until before high school, Hong Jaena wasn't so familiar with the male species. The one and only guy friend she had at that time was her next-door neighbour, Lee Chan, and even then it was a friendship forced upon by their close mothers. She didn't know any other boy and would cower in shyness at just the presence of one. It was mostly due to environmental factors; the Seolnam school branch was a bit unique, in the sense that its elementary school and middle school were divided into two (all-girls and all-boys) and only its high school was co-ed.

The first day of high school was a dreamlike experience for that sole reason: she'd never been around so many boys at one time. She was a furiously blushing mess each time a male classmate of hers initiated a conversation. She was shy, nervous, terrified, so many feelings jumbled up at once. She didn't know how her girlfriends could do it, they attended the same all-girls school she did, yet they eased in with the boys much faster than she did.

Due to their mothers' childish request—"You guys always eat together on the first day!"—Jaena was forced to sit with Chan during lunch. She watched pitifully as her two longtime best friends, Eunbi and Kyulkyung, leave her and settle with a boy she didn't know. As she scanned the busy cafeteria, feeling like everybody were staring at her (they really weren't), she cursed Chan for being so small that she couldn't spot him immediately. Just a second later, nearly giving her a heart attack, he appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Jaena by the elbow, dragging her to a table where two boys were already seated. That was when Jaena first laid her eyes on probably the most beautiful boy she'd ever seen.

She didn't even notice that one of the two was her new classmate, Seungkwan, as she was too mesmerized by the other. He had a good build, his facial features were manly but soft, which she found to be very charming. When their gazes met, she felt like she'd been shot in the chest. When he gave her a gentle smile, she was ready to drop dead any second.

 "This is my neighbour, Hong Jaena. She's gonna sit with us today." she snapped out of her trance when she heard Chan introducing her on her behalf. She saw that the latter had already taken the seat next to Beautiful Boy.

 "Yeah, we're classmates!" Seungkwan pointed out cheerfully, before patting on the space beside him. "You can sit with me."

 "O-oh, okay." Jaena sheepishly nodded and set her tray on the table, sitting down beside Seungkwan with full of caution in each movement that she made. She recalled him to be the funny guy who went around the whole class being friends with everyone.

 "I'm Hansol." Beautiful Boy extended his hand out to her, smile even wider, and his deep voice made her crazy heart skip a beat.

Hoping that he wouldn't see her tremble, she slowly took his hand, almost choking on air at how soft it was as she shook it. Bonus, it was the first motion of skinship that she ever made with a boy—excluding Chan. Yet then again, the only skinship they did was aggressive wrestling over video game consolers.

Before she could register what these strange thoughts that she was currently having were, Chan proceeded to tell her how he met the two of them. Apparently they'd been friends since elementary school—Jaena failed to note down whatever he said afterwards, because she became distracted by forcing herself to not stare at the boy sitting right in front of her. Whenever he laughed, crinkles formed by his eyes and it made her stomach churn in such an odd way. The rest of their lunch break was spent with eating and conversing in peace, the boys getting to know Jaena a little better and vice versa, all while she was suffocating from the foreign feelings swimming in her chest.

That was how she became the trio's favourite mutual friend. A year had passed, they were now eighteen years old and no longer was she who she was on that first day. Instead, she had even become one of the boys; she had more close guy friends than girl friends. Her playful love-hate relationship with Chan became more mature in the sense that they fought a whole lot less (eh, sort of) and she had grown from being shy to being Seungkwan's living nightmare. So many things had changed, but one thing never did.

Her feelings for Hansol.

Through immense research by Googling and subtly asking her friends, she concluded that she was having her first crush on a real, non-celebrity boy. Google told her that it would go away soon, though, since she believed her crush on Hansol was only because she found him attractive. So she coped with turning into a red, nervous wreck whenever she met him, hoping that the little crush would fade away as soon as possible.

But many months later, her feelings remained intact, if not much stronger. Even when his hairdresser screwed him up and he now had to walk around with a tragic ‘fortune cookie' hairstyle, Jaena still saw him as the cutest boy there was. Not just his looks, she adored all the special little things about him; how he found amusement in everything, how he was so naïve yet so kind to everyone, and how bright his smile was. Pushing aside the butterflies in her stomach, she loved talking to him because he was a great listener, he was attentive and was an absolute sweetheart. Most days, he would be the last thing she thinks about before falling asleep and the first thing that crossed her mind after waking up. She didn't dream of being with him romantically anymore, she was contented with just being his friend and as long as he was happy, she would be happy. 

Google told her that at this stage, it wasn't a crush anymore—it was love.

 "Bye, mom!" Jaena shouted from the doorway as she put on her worn-out shoes. She opened the door and was unexpectedly met face-to-face with Chan, giving her the shock of a lifetime. Of course, by that, it meant that she barely even flinched.

 "You surprised me." she swung an arm to hit him on the chest. She turned back to ensure that the door was closed shut before she continued to walk.

 "Ow," Chan winced, rubbing the now sore area, following Jaena from behind with slow steps.

When they were younger, Jaena's mom and Chan's dad would take turns carpooling the kids every morning, since their schools were opposite of one another anyways. Now that they were old enough to go by themselves, their parents entrusted the two of them to commute by subway together. Most days they left school at separate times, but whenever the chance came, they'd have a snack somewhere before walking home side by side. Neither would like to admit it, but they were the best of friends and had the significance of family to each other.

Hence, Chan knew Jaena very well. He knew that a pissed off Jaena meant certain death, especially since she tended to get physical when angry. He also knew how far Jaena could go, as after all, he had grown up as her punching bag. People would laugh at him for being so afraid of a 5'5" girl because they didn't know Jaena, but Chan did.

He couldn't imagine what Jaena would do to Seungkwan and himself if she found out they told Hansol she liked him. Though it was Seungkwan who slipped the secret out, Chan knew Jaena would come after him as well for being a culprit by association. He could feel that his life was coming to an end soon—I better start writing my will.

 "Dude, you look like you just saw a ghost." Chan's head snapped up upon hearing Jaena's remark. He was so lost in his fearful thoughts that he hadn't even realised he was already in the elevator. Jaena seemed to be very calm; from the looks of it, Hansol hadn't told her anything, so he discreetly breathed a sigh of relief.

 "I didn't sleep well. Can't wait to take a nap." Chan replied with a stretch of his arms, attempting to make it look more realistic.

 "Ah, I was just about to ask you to run laps with me this evening." Jaena muttered. It was a special thing of theirs to do; as they were both athletes, they naturally became each other's work-out partner. While Chan was a swimmer, Jaena was a runner, but they were both good at each other's expertise.

 "We can do it tomorrow morning." Chan assured, nudging Jaena with his elbow.

She slapped him away, yet there was a small smile on her face. "Fine."

The elevator doors opened once it reached the ground floor and Jaena didn't waste a second, stepping out of it instantly. Chan, who only followed her back out of habit, silently thanked God and prayed that this peace would last for as long as possible.

The whole trio had been weird for the rest of the day as Jaena noted. All three of them seemed to be very jumpy around her and while Seungkwan and Chan looked like they were going to crap their pants each time they came near her, Hansol was a different story. He wasn't his usual, chilled self—instead, he obviously panicked each time he saw her and if she wasn't fooling herself, he was blushing.

She would like to think that they were hiding something from her, but then she thought it would seem like she was overreacting, so she decided not to think so much about it. It was a Friday anyways, the boys had the weekend to ‘recover' from whatever horror they were suffering from because of her.

The boys themselves, on the other hand, couldn't relax as much. While Jaena was happily spending her Saturday night snuggled up in bed, Facetiming her older brother, they were absorbed in a serious discussion in the apartment right next door, unbeknownst to her. The sole purpose of their impromptu sleepover was none other than to talk about the life-threatening slip of Seungkwan's tongue.

 "I couldn't even talk to her today, it felt so weird. I can't look at her the same eventhough there is a chance that she likes somebody else. Not me." Hansol grumbled before taking a bite of his pizza.

 "Can't you pretend like you didn't hear anything?" Seungkwan groaned.

 "I want to! But it's really bugging me because y'know, I've never had anybody like me like that before and it's Jaena, an actual good friend of mine, so. Get it?" Hansol sighed.

 "I don't understand what you're trying to say but whatever it is, we beg you, don't say anything about it to Jaena," Seungkwan then grabbed Hansol's shoulders and stared at him with a gaze of desparation. "Please. Please don't."

 "Okay, that's what I don't understand. Don't I deserve to ask her just to be sure? Even if she does like me, what's so wrong about that?" Hansol raised his eyebrows at his two best friends.

 "We can't have you asking her about that because it's supposed to be a secret. I mean, we wouldn't even have found out if it wasn't for us bothering her about it. If you ask her, she'd know we broke the secret and she'll kill us. I'm not even kidding. That girl's a black belt in taekwondo and she isn't afraid of using it." Seungkwan shivered, remembering how Jaena's ‘playful' punch left him a bruise that lasted for a whole week.

 "And," Chan who had kept silent for a while finally spoke up. "Even worse than her getting angry, we're scared she'll be hurt. You don't want that, do you?"

 "Of course I don't," Hansol let out another sigh. "But what if I like her too?"