If You

If You (I Miss You, I Miss You, I Really Miss You)

 

"Where is Minhyun hyung?" Daehwi asked as he entered the dining room of Wanna One's dorm, where the other members were sitting together.

"He's on the rooftop," said Jaehwan who was watching something on his cell phone.

"Rooftop? Why? What is he doing over there in the middle of the night?" Daehwi asked again as he frowned.

"Weeping, maybe" Someone answered.

"Contemplating" Another answer.

"Mourning?"

All those dreadful answers made Daehwi's eyes wide open in horror. "Why? Minhyun hyung on the rooftop while crying? Huh?"

"Yah!!" Jisung hit Seongwoo's and Daniel's head who had answered randomly while Jihoon already move away from Jisung's reach before Jisung had time to smacked him. "You scared uri maknae, you know" Jisung scolded them again.

"They just kidding Daehwi-yah" Sungwoon come and patted Daehwi's head.

"He went upstairs with his phone on his hands, I'm sure he just watching what Jaehwan hyung watching now" Woojin provided Daehwi the answer.

"What is Jaehwan hyung watching?" He comes closer and peeks over Jaehwan's shoulder. Then he saw his favorite onibugi hyung on the screen. He smiled brightly. Also the other Nu'est member. Oh. Today is the day Nu'est W released their special single "If You". And they are having a mini concert on V Live.

"Why didn't he watch it here? We can watch it together!" Daehwi pouted while sitting himself next to Jaehwan, decided to join his hyung.

"He did tho" Jaehwan answered him. "But just a few moments after the broadcast start, he already looks like ready to cry" The others nodded in agreement.

"Don't you see his face all day?" Daniel asked him. "It was between excited, thrilled but also worried?"

"Anxious if you asked me." Seongwoo continued.

"He must be really want to listen his brothers new single" Sungwoon joined the conversation. "I can understand how he must be felt, I was also really excited when HOTSHOT going to deliver Jelly." A dreamy smile appeared on his face.

"But it must be a little different from what you felt that day hyung" Guanlin who had just been quietly listening to his hyung's conversation, open his mouth. "I listened to it too with him this evening. And it was really deep and touching. Maybe they don't say it directly that they make that song for Minhyun hyung, but even I can understand, at least, Minhyun hyung was on their minds when they sang that song"

"And it seems Jonghyun hyung took part on writing the lyrics, wasn't he?" Jinyoung asked.

"He did. He wrote his rap himself with our CEO's help" Woojin answered him.

"Daebak" Someone murmured.

"And Jonghyun hyung always put all his heart when writing his rap" Guanlin commented. He knew it for sure. He still remembers how his hyung writing his Fear rap that time. Well, everyone still remembers it actually.

"No wonder if Minhyun hyung can't maintain his stone face after he listened to it" Daniel expressing his opinion while leaned his head on Seongwoo's shoulder.

"He must have a lot of feelings right now" Seongwoo put his arm around Daniel's shoulder.

"Shouldn't we be there for him right now?" Daehwi asked his hyung.

"Let him has his own time for now" Jisung patted Daehwi's head. "It's not us who he needs right now"

The others can only nod at their leader. "Hello" can be heard faintly from Jaehwan's phone. The new version one, the one without Minhyun's voice. And they, Nu'est W, Nu'est member who will faithfully wait for Minhyun to come back to them, singing it with all their heart.

"He will be fine," said Jisung again. Daehwi pouted on his seat, he just wants to do something for his hyung.

 


 


Minhyun sat alone, leaning his head against the wall behind him. Let himself drowning in a silence. A little smile tugged at his lips. Feeling happy and content after watching his Nu'est brothers V Live Mini Concert. The broadcast itself already ended around two hours ago. He still couldn't believe his own eyes when they got more than 55M hearts on the end of the broadcast. Minhyun couldn't be more proud than that. It was like a miracle and a dream for them. Getting so much loves from L.O./\.E, he was grateful.

 

A trail of tears still visible on his cheeks. He was really emotional this whole day. No, not just this day. His brothers on Nu'est really make Minhyun's feeling and emotion like in a roller coaster lately. This all started when they dropped the new version of Hello. It really felt nostalgic to him, though he kinda feels a little sad, how he wished he could sing that song with them, the song as a gift for their fans, saying they're thank you for the fans. That night, he had a conversation with Jonghyun through the phone. He still remembers, he jokingly whined at Jonghyun.

 

  "You guys all did a great job, it feels like you don't need me anymore as your lead vocal"

  "Don't be silly Minhyun ah. You are the one and only our lead vocal. No one can replace you. s I told you right, Nu'est will never be Nu'est without you. If we could, we would prefer to wait for you. But that's impossible, we need to come back. We need to do something while the hype still on us. It wasn't right to let you fight alone on Wanna One. Besides, I want you to have a proper and good 'home' when you come back to us. Nu'est will be forever your home, right?"

  "Yes Jonghyunnie, Nu'est will always be my home. Thank you Jonghyun-ah, thank you"

 

And a few days later, Jonghyun proved what he said about Nu'est will never be Nu'est without him. Pledis announced that the four members who still remain will promote as a sub unit, called Nu'est W. W for Waiting. For the fans who patiently waiting for them to come back, and also for him. They promise they will waiting for Minhyun to come back to them, to come back to his home. Minhyun was deeply touched, it wasn't just a sweet talking to make him happy. He should know, Jonghyun would never sweet talk him, if he said something then it must be he really meant it. That day Minhyun promised himself, he would never doubt his leader and his brothers, even just a slightest. Never.

When Pledis announced that Nu'est W will launch a new single on July 25th, he was so excited. Even it wasn't a comeback, even they won't promote it, he still satisfied with it. At least, he sure that Pledis start doing something to Nu'est. He felt so relieved. He tried to ask them what genre their new song is, what about it was, but they won't answer him. They just asked him to wait and listen to it when it was launched. They won't even tell him the title.

That's why this evening, when the new single was released, with full of enthusiasm he listened to it. And when he learned about the lyrics, all those feelings, happy, sad, proud, gratefulness, and the other feelings he couldn't describe it because it was too varied and too much, attacked him at once. Guanlin who listened to it with him, give him a fond smile. "You're so lucky hyung" Yes indeed, he was so lucky and blessed for becoming Nu'est member.

The phone screen on his hands still on, repeating "If You" over and over. He definitely loves that song. He felt so serene while listening to their voice. And its lyrics soothe him. Especially Jonghyun's rap part. He could feel Jonghyun pour his heart on those lyrics. It felt like he writes everything that he wants to confide to Minhyun.

 

If it’s there, in the film that I’ve missed until now
If it’s there, in our past memories
I’ll dive in and swim, the scent is deeply embedded
So the emptiness becomes a boat for me

He could feel Jonghyun's longingness for him.

 

After I let you go, when I think of you
Foolishly, it still feels like a dream
I’ll keep your spot empty
I wanna put away the goodbyes for now

He could sense a little sorrow feeling because they have to let him go to Wanna One. But also Jonghyun's promise to always keep his spot empty, just for him.

 

Even though we walk on different paths, time still passes
Even though we look at different things,
We look at the same sky
We are drawn on the same canvas
But your color isn’t filled in the picture

There was a reassurance from Jonghyun to him.

 

If only I could see you again if only I could smile with you
If only we could hold hands in this dream
How nice would it be? I wouldn’t let go
I wanna put away the goodbyes for now

  If only I could see you again from back then

There was a foolish wish, to stay together, to go back to the past, to turn back the time, that Minhyun knows, deep inside his own heart, they could fulfill that silly wish.

 

If only we could walk together again (if only)
I haven’t forgotten
Your beautiful voice (if only)
Your smiling face
Clearly remains in my memories (if only)
I miss you, I miss you, I really miss you

 

And Minhyun loses it. He couldn't take it anymore when he heard "I miss you, I miss you, I really miss you". He missed him too. He missed him so dearly. Oh God, he really wants to have Jonghyun to be there with him. He still remembers clearly how Jonghyun's gaze on the camera while singing "If You" at the V Live. It was so deep, it felt like piercing and straight to Minhyun's heart. That was why he fled to the rooftop not long after the broadcast start. Because he didn't want to break down in front of his current members.

He stops the song and decides to call the one he missed dearly right now.

'Minhyunnie?' A soft voice answered.

"Hey" Then Minhyun fall silent. He didn't know what he should say, and it seems Jonghyun also waiting for more than a 'hey' as a response because he also didn't say anything.

'You still awake?' Finally, Jonghyun starts the conversation.

"Hmm" Minhyun muttered his answer. "I'm not sleepy yet, and I just did watch your V Live"

Jonghyun chuckled. 'That was already end two hours ago Minhyunnie. Well, since you watch us, how was it? We were really nervous'

"Liar~ You even sing, and you said you nervous?"

'Yah!! That was because Ren makes us do a promise to do something when we reached 50 million hearts. They even refused to help and sing with me, those kids' Minhyun laughed at Jonghyun's whiny voice. "How I wish you were there, you will sing it with me, won't you? You won't as mean as them right?"

"Yes yes Jonghyunnie~" Minhyun still laughed. "You know I love hearing you sing, and I do love singing with you. I will do anything to make you sing. I even furiously tapping that hearts button so it could reach 50 million when I knew you promise to sing. Oops-" Minhyun laughed more.

'YAH!! You traitor!!' He swears he could see Jonghyun's annoyed face. But then he heard his leader laughed with him on the other line. How he missed hearing that laughed.

"You guys doing great on that V Live" Minhyun said again after they can stop laughing. "I have a lot of feelings watching it. I'm sure L.O./\.E will feel the same. They must be happy can see you guys again." He sighed. "Also your new single" He paused. "If You... I.. listened to it too"

'How was it?' Jonghyun asked him quietly.

"That was amazing and it was-" He stopped. "Jonghyunnie, you write them right?"

'Hm? Yes, I did. It wasn't just me though, Kiggen shi and Rhymer sanjang nim helped me a lot. But I do write my own part'

"Umm.." He stuttered. "Is that.. for me?" What kind of question is that Minhyun?! He cursed his stupid question. "I mean- No, I know you write them to soothe our fans, I know you said it on your broadcast. But, maybe just a little, do you-" He really wants to know, if what he felt when he heard the lyrics that Jonghyun wrote are meant for him. Or he just hallucinating.

'What do you think?' Jonghyun asked him back.

"I don't know, I'm asking you" He pouts and stood up, walking to the railing, see the sights below. "Forget it, sorry, I make you feel awkward-"

'I do write them while thinking of someone Minhyunnie. I want him to know how I feel. I want him to know that we also lost without him. But I also want to give him a reassurance, I try to give him a promise, that even we are apart, we will always be together. He will always be with us. And that person was you Minhyun-ah' Jonghyun chuckled. 'I miss you, I miss you, I miss you so much Minhyunnie'

And there you go, he bawling. How could he didn't cry when hearing all those words from Jonghyun's own mouth.

'Ah... Why are you crying again?' Jonghyun asked him.

"It's your fault!! You always knew how to make me cry!" Indeed, he always cries because of Jonghyun, he wasn't someone who easily cry, and when he shed his tears, it always because of Jonghyun, no one else can do that to him. Maybe because he knew how struggling and hardworking Jonghyun was all this time. How he always took all the blame, how he always try to protect him and his other members. Or maybe because he always has a soft spot for his dear leader. Or maybe it was just because he love Jonghyun so much.

'I'm sorry, don't cry~ What should I do so you will stop crying?'

"You meanie bugi!! I will stop crying if you hug me" He pouted. "But how? You aren't even here"

'Close your eyes then'

"What for?"

'Just do it'

"Ah you're weird" But he still does it, he would always do what Jonghyun asked him to do. "There." He closed his eyes. "Now wha-" And suddenly he felt a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. He felt the warmth he knew so well, the warmth he always got when Jonghyun embrace him into his arms. He also could smell that familiar scent. "Jonghyun?!" He turned around and his eyes widened. There he is, standing in front of him, still in his pink pull over which he wears at his V Live, Jonghyun smiled fondly at him.' "Wh-what" He baffled. "What are you doing here?!"

"Hugging you" He smiled more and tilted his head.

"What?" Minhyun suddenly lost all his vocabulary be cause he was too surprised seeing onibugi in pink in front of him.

Jonghyun laughed freely and gently pat his head. "You're so cute" He pecked his lips. But Minhyun still has no response, it seems his brain still couldn't order him to give any reaction. "Aigoo~ My dear Minhyunnie" He pulled him closer. "Come back to me, hey"

"Are you sure I'm not dreaming?" He muttered.

"Nope, I'm really here"

"But-" He pulled away a little so he could see Jonghyun's face. "How can you even come here?!"

"Daehwi texted me as soon as I end the V live. He asked me to come here to see you"

"Daehwi?"

Jonghyun nodded. "He said he could sneak me up into your dorm. So here I am, we come here instead of going back to our dorm."

"We? Wait! Are the other here too?"

"Yup. Dongho and Minki, even Aron hyung, we dragged him as well~"

"You guys are crazy" Minhyun laughed and put his head back on Jonghyun's shoulder. "But thank you" He whispered. "Oh my God I miss you so much Jonghyunnie"

"I miss you too, I already told you through the phone though"

"When you arrived?"

"Not too long ago"

"But I didn't hear anything when I was on the phone with you. I thought you were already at home, or at least on the car"

Jonghyun chuckled. "It was because I was already here when you called me. The other told me to come up here"

"Really? And why don't you meet me?" He gave him a skeptical look.

"And missed the opportunity to see you look serene while listening to "If you"? No way" Actually, Jonghyun was about to call him when he arrived at the rooftop. But when he saw Minhyun looks so calm, basking under the moonlight, listening to their new single. Jonghyun was stunned. He was even a jump a little when suddenly his phone vibrate because Minhyun called him.

Minhyun blushed. "Since when you were so cheesy like this? Huh"

"Since I fell in love with you" Jonghyun leaned forward and Minhyun decided to close the distance between them. He pressed his lips slowly to Jonghyun's lips. He tilted his head to kiss him properly. The kiss was tender and innocent, full of affectionate and felt so delicate.There were no rush, or tongue and pressure. He could felt Jonghyun smile on his lips. Seems like both want to convey their feelings towards each other.

 

It said 'I miss you'

It said 'I love you'

It said 'I won't forget you'

It said 'We will be fine'

It said 'I will come back to you'

It said 'I will always wait for you'

 

Each kiss has its promise. Each kiss has its meaning. They both knew it for sure. Minhyun cupped Jonghyun's face and moved his lips to peck Jonghyun's cheek softly. Finally, he rests his head on Jonghyun's shoulder. Comfortable, warm, happy in the arms of someone he deeply loves. He sighed happily.

"Should we go back?" Jonghyun murmur in his ear.

Minhyun whined. "Don't want to. I'm comfy here, I still wanna be with you"

"But you've been outside too long"

Before Minhyun had time to let out another protest, Jonghyun's phone vibrate. Jonghyun took his phone from his pocket and answered the phone.

'YAH!! You two!!' There was Minki, who practically scream to the phone as soon as Jonghyun answer his call. Jonghyun winced and automatically keep away the phone from his ears. Minhyun chuckled and shook his head. 'Stop making out!! And go back here! These kids won't stop pestering and asking us, why both of you haven't come back yet!!'

"Minki.."

'Don't Minki me!! Come back here! NOW! Or I won't be responsible if these kids went up there!' Call ended.

He and Jonghyun just stared at each other, still too stunned with Minki's sudden outburst. Then they burst to laugh.

"Seems we really have to go back" Jonghyun held out his hand towards him.

Minhyun pouted. "Fine.."

He took Jonghyun's hand and intertwined their finger together, leading them to the door. He will surely miss this when Jonghyun have to go later. But he will be fine, the separation isn't forever. After he finished his task at Wanna One, he will come back to his 'home', to Nu'est, to his brothers, and to Jonghyun, with a stronger bond than before. And while he here, he would enjoy, have fun and fighting as best as he could. Because he knew he won't be alone. He has his current members who care for him.

"I think I need to thanks Daehwi" And maybe thanks to the others too as well.

Jonghyun chuckled. "I should thanks him too"

He also always had the support from his Nu'est members. And the most important, he would always have Jonghyun's love and promise for him. It was their closure for now. Both need to be happy and keep moving forward. And when the time comes, they will be together again.

"Jonghyunnie"

"Hmm?"

"We will be fine, right?" He tightens his grip on Jonghyun's fingers.

Jonghyun nodded and smiled at him. "We'll be fine"

 

One day, my color will accompany yours again on that canvas of ours.
Dancing and blend in together so we can make a beautiful picture.

 


  -END-

 


Fluffy everywhere~~ Yay~~ And ohmygod i can't write a kissing scene so i'm sorry if that was awkward, lol

Thank you for reading this!! Please leave a comment (it will make me happy ^^)

 

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Comments

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Smile-AngElfs
#1
Chapter 1: You say it’s fluffy, so why am I crying TT

I was actually multitasking but I couldn’t stop crying and smiling at the tv???

Anyways bless you for expressing Minhyun’s innermost feelings during the Vlive and pre Nu’est W debut!!
jungaya
#2
Chapter 1: Something stuck in my eyes... no definitely not tears.. no..

*weeping* my 2hyun!
Hiixa3
#3
Chapter 1: I swear my eyes are just sweating, I'm totally not crying ㅠㅡㅠ
ilovedara
#4
Chapter 1: This made me tear up a little bit..