Moon Taeil is the type of guy who is not very into things like love.

 

It may sound like some excuses from a guy who is single for such a long time, but he really doesn’t want to love anyone. For a guy who is good-looking, good at studying and good at singing like Taeil, there will be many girls who want to be his girlfriend, but he refused them all no matter how beautiful or kind they are. The first reason, because he wanted to focus on his studying. The second reason, because he is gay.

 

But let’s make things clear. When Taeil says he’s not into love, that means he just doesn’t want to start a serious relationship, but he still has some slight feelings, because he is also human. Taeil used to have a crush on the class president from the next-door class but kept that feeling in his heart so nobody would know. After graduation, due to no longer be able to meet that guy every day, every feeling also disappeared. And he did not take this matter very seriously because whether Taeil still liked him or not, his life would stay the same.

 

When in college, all Taeil did was studying and doing part-time jobs for his living. Although his family is in Seoul, he wanted to take care of his own life, he has been dependent on his family for 18 years anyway. So when he learned that he had been accepted into college, he immediately asked permission to move out. Fortunately, his parents could understand him so they agreed, but they insisted on paying for his studies. Of course, he objected, but it was hard to argue with them, so after a while bargaining, he finally agreed for them to pay for his studies in the first two years.

 

At first, it was a little difficult, but because Taeil lived in the school’s dorm, it was a bit of a relief. When he was in his sophomore year, his cousin Taeyong, who had just entered college, also wanted to move out of his home so Taeil asked him to rent a house together, they can rely on each other, which would be much better than living alone. Besides, Taeil has just started singing at some acoustic café, he got paid quite much for that job so it would be enough to handle the renting cost.

 

During his four years in college, Taeil only had two best friends, he met them in the meeting with new students. Despite the three years gap, the three of them somehow got along very well. Between the two, Taeil adores Si Cheng a little bit more because the boy is a foreigner, and also very cute.

 

“Are you a Si Cheng maniac or something?”

 

Jaehyun has been asking him this question several times, did he really acted like a maniac?

 

“Okay okay, not that I’m taking your boyfriend away from you anyway.”

“Stop joking like that, Si Cheng has a boyfriend now, you know?”

 

Well, Taeil has a bad habit of being too playful sometimes, it seems he touched the younger one’s pain with his joke. Actually, he’s not usually joking too much like this, but since they are close, the two boys also have the same ual orientation with him, so he doesn’t have to think much when talking to them. Sometimes he wondered whether he was lucky enough to get close with them, or because this school is full of gays. The latter seems a bit absurd though…

 

==============

 

“Ji Hansol?”

“Yes, he’s Yuta’s friend, also in the dance club with me. He’s the same age as you, by the way.”

“Isn’t it weird to go to a concert with someone I don’t know?”

“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine with that.”

 

One day, Jaehyun said that there was someone named Ji Hansol who was given some tickets to a concert, that guy invited Yuta, Si Cheng, and also Jaehyun, but still spared one ticket, so Jaehyun asked Taeil to come along. Well, he won’t mind going to a concert for free, but the name Ji Hansol makes him feel a little tickling inside. Because Taeil’s crush’s name back in high school was also Ji Hansol, Ji isn’t a popular family name, so Taeil thinks maybe he has been studying in the same school with his “ex-crush” for 4 years but he didn’t know.

 

“But that Hansol, he’s been living in Seoul for 5 or 6 years now, how can he still not know the way? That’s why he asked us to come here first, then go to the concert hall together.”

“What? Do you mean he’s not from Seoul?”

“He moved here from Busan for high school. I heard his family is very rich so they wanted him to go to Seoul to attend some high-quality school.”

 

This must be some kind of jokes, right? Taeil also attended a high-quality school, and he thinks his ex-crush Ji Hansol just got in the school in the second year.

 

“Oh, he’s coming here. Ji Hansol is that tall guy over there.”

 

Taeil looks in the direction of Jaehyun’s pointing finger, and though he may have figured out something, he’s still a bit surprised. That person is really the Ji Hansol from high school.

 

As said before, Taeil is not the type of guy who is into things like love, so there wouldn’t be anything matters to see Hansol again. However, he used to have a crush on the other guy for quite a time, it will be a lie if he says he doesn’t have any feelings now. Well… just a little nervous, but it doesn’t last long, so Taeil decides to ignore it.

 

After the concert, Taeil meet Hansol a few more times, most of the times were with the younger boys. They also see each other somewhere in the school, but only exchange small greetings. The last year of college life flies away quite fast, and Ji Hansol in Taeil’s eyes is still just an ordinary friend like everyone else.

 

==============

 

Two years after graduation, Taeil now owns a small acoustic café. After graduating, he still doesn’t do any job other than singing every night, simply because he likes this job. As time goes by, he thinks why not create his own space to be able to both earn income and fulfill his passion. Taeil loves to sing, but he doesn’t want to be a popular singer or anything, so he’s been sticking to those cafés with cozy spaces for years.

 

Actually, deciding to open a café is quite risky, but the place he wants to place it is on the ground floor of a building with offices, studios, and more, which is not very bad. Also, Taeil thinks that maybe it’s a risky thing to do, but still better than doing nothing, and with that thought in mind, on a beautiful day in mid-June, Moon Café officially came into operation.

 

Taeil is quite lucky because he got contacted right after he just posted the band and staff recruitment information not too long, those people also fit the requirements so the recruitment stage is also quickly completed. Taeyong also introduced him a boy with fantastic singing to help him, because he can’t handle this all alone. With the preparation steps already in place like this, Taeil has more confidence in his decision.

 

And thanks to this café, Taeil’s life will have some great change.

 

Because he can never imagine that he will meet Hansol again, right here, in this café.

 

==============

 

One day, Jaehyun came to the café at lunchtime, he doesn’t have many customers so Taeil sat down with the boy for a bit of talking. Jaehyun says yesterday he just risked his friendship with Si Cheng to confess the other boy, which seems to have succeeded because he looks very happy.

 

“2 years of unrequited love is not so unrequited now, huh?”

“Actually, we just start to get to know each other more and nothing official, but I think it won’t be long.”

“You guys are close friends for 2 years, why you have to get to know each other more now?”

“The situation is different now.”

 

Taeil really can’t understand, what is the difference? What do they want to know when they can understand each other very well? But anyway, he is happy for both of them, especially Si Cheng, since he broke up with Yuta, Taeil can feel Si Cheng isn’t joyful as before, and he believes that Jaehyun will make him happier.

 

“I have to get back to school, I’ll buy some drinks next time.”

“But you just came here 10 minutes ago.”

“I came here just to tell you about yesterday.”

“You can do that on the phone, you know?”

“I had something to do near here, so came to see you a little bit.”

“Alright, better hurry or you’ll be late.”

 

But Taeil didn’t think Jaehyun’s “next time” will be two days later. It was Friday night, one of the nights that the café has a musical performance, and tonight the lead singer will be the owner himself. At the time Jaehyun arrives, the show was half-done, the café is also a little more crowded than usual so the staffs have some difficulties finding seats for him. Taeil sees Jaehyun while singing so he smiles at the younger boy, then finds out that he was with another person, it’s Ji Hansol.

 

Seeing Hansol this time also makes Taeil feel tickling because somehow Ji Hansol is constantly staring at him. It’s true that you have to look at the singer when watching performances, but the way Hansol looks at him, it’s… something he just can’t describe. But then he decides to ignore that to focus on finishing the show.

 

“I can never get bored watching you singing.”

“Cut those flattering off, please.”

“Hehe, anyway, do you remember Hansol?”

“Yes.” Then he turns to Hansol “Thank you for coming to our café.”

 

Hansol just smiles and nods. “He’s still a guy of very few words, really.” Taeil thinks, remembering back to his high school days. Back then he rarely saw Hansol spoke very much to anyone at all. Why did he know this? Their classes were next to each other anyway… Taeil used to like Hansol, so it would be normal if he paid the latter a little more attention, right?

 

“Oh, by the way, Hansol’s just rented a practice room in this building, so you guys will be seeing each other more times later. That’s the thing I mentioned two days ago.”

“Practice room? Right, the dance studio on the 3^rd floor, that’s a big studio though. But why do you need a practice room?”

“He’s the leader of a dance crew. I’m also in that crew but maybe I’ll practice less than the others because I have to study.”

 

Taeil nods as he understands the situation, but he can’t help wondering why Jaehyun was the one speaking all the time when it was clear the one he asked was Hansol. Is he just not talkative or is he lazy to speak? Well, maybe just because Jaehyun’s character is always this enthusiastic, so he just speaks up before Hansol can do anything.

 

==============

 

After that day, Taeil sees Hansol every day, and the latter also becomes a regular customer of the café. To be precise, he comes and stays for about 1 or 2 hours before returning to the practice room, some days he comes with Jaehyun, but most of the time he comes here alone. At first, Taeil just served him like many other customers, but Hansol always comes when there are not many people, so sometimes Taeil sits with him for a little talk because he’s bored, and as time goes by, they become close friends, even before they know it. That’s when Taeil can see Hansol talk a little more, while during the first days, Taeil thought he was talking with air.

 

But because they have got closer, it seems that Taeil is getting used to the presence of Hansol here every lunchtime.

 

And because he gets used to this, just one day without Hansol is enough to make Taeil bore to death because he has no one to talk to. The staff members are all students, so they take every time they get to do homework, he can’t bother them. But doing homework doesn’t mean they don’t notice anything.

 

“Hey, why he looks super duper bored today?”

“How can I know? Just mind your own thing, man.”

“I guess he’s lovesick. He’s missing that tall guy that comes here every day, I’m sure.”

“Be careful with your words, you want your salary cut down this month or something? If you have nothing to do then just go cleaning around.”

 

He can hear all that, but he doesn’t want to yell at them or something. He isn’t lovesick, so there’s no point being angry, it will just convince them to think the whole lovesick thing is true. But to tell the truth, he really misses Hansol a little. Don’t misunderstand, he’s just bored, nothing more.

 

At that moment, the small bell hanging at the door rings, signaling someone has just come in. Taeil quickly gets up, only to see Jaehyun.

 

“Where’s Hansol?”

“The competition day is near so we can’t have a long break, just small ones then get back to practice, so now I have to go get lunch for the crew. And I have to ask you to deliver 10 Americanos up there for me, sorry for that, bro.”

 

Not giving Taeil any chance to answer, Jaehyun ran out of the café, probably the people up there are very hungry now. Anyway, the task now is to make the drinks quickly to deliver, if they order 10 cups at a time, then he should offer them the best service. And the best service means that the owner will make the drinks and delivers them himself.

 

When he gets to the studio, Taeil asks the manager where Hansol’s crew is practicing and quickly goes there. He intends to knock on the door when he accidentally looks through the small glass frame on it and see Hansol is still practicing, not resting like the others. This is the first time that Taeil saw Hansol dance, he looks like a completely different person. Every move, every expression on his face makes Taeil unable to take his eyes off. If Hansol doesn’t accidentally see him and opens the door, maybe Taeil will stand there forever.

 

“Why not come in?”

“I’m here just for delivery anyway.”

“Sorry for bothering you like this. Jaehyun is keeping the money, he’ll give you later, ok?”

“It’s my job, nothing bothers at all. By the way, when is the competition?”

“In about a week.”

“Then I’ll just deliver drinks to you guys until then, you won’t have to come down there just for ordering.”

“Is it okay?”

“Of course, this is what friends are for.”

 

And so Moon Café will surely sell more than 10 cups in the next week, and Taeil will be less bored a little, too.

 

==============

 

It’s been half a year since he met Hansol again, and sometimes Taeil just can’t help but wonder why there is such coincidence like this.

 

The first time he met Hansol, Taeil thought the latter was like the other rich kids in school, good at studying and arrogant. Since he was in the class next door, he often saw Hansol, and soon he changed his mind. Hansol didn’t seem to be arrogant, though he is not very talkative, he seems to be kind, Taeil has seen him helping other students solve homework problems many times. And before he could realize, Taeil started to have feelings for him, that was the first time he ever felt affected by someone.

 

The second time he met Hansol, Taeil just looked at him like many other friends in school. Thanks to the younger boys that he could meet Hansol again, but he didn’t think he needed to be close to him. Well yes, they were studying in the same school, it wouldn’t be a big problem if they want to meet each other. But at that time, he would be graduating soon, so there’s no need to have more friends. Taeil is not the kind of person who needs many close friends, so he would be okay with only Jaehyun and Si Cheng.

 

The third time he met Hansol, Taeil couldn’t think that they would be close friends as they are now. And he also didn’t understand how every day there must the presence of Hansol there. Every lunchtime Hansol comes to the café, or the other way, Taeil brings drinks to the practice room for him. Taeil’s mood seems to be relying too much on Hansol, and he doesn’t like it, but he really can’t resist.

 

Taeil thinks that he has started to have feelings for Hansol again, and this time, even more than before.

 

But sometimes he wonders whether it is true that after leaving the place where he met Hansol for the first time, his feelings for the latter had disappeared completely or not. Maybe the feelings back then weren’t very strong that he could not even recognize himself, and then after Ji Hansol has reappeared in front of him for two more times, those feelings awoke and were gradually built up.

 

And maybe he can’t call those feelings a crush anymore because it’s love now.

 

==============

 

Taeil still remembers the day his mother left the house, leaving him and his father. He remembers her eyes looked very sad, he knew she didn’t want to leave him behind, he was old enough to understand how she had suffered. Their love was long gone, but his mother still tried to stay with the man she didn’t love anymore for him, and when she couldn’t handle it anymore, she has no choice but to leave. Taeil was mad at her then, but how angry he was, he also felt sorry for her that much. Because of this, when he was in high school, he became more and more reserved, and not until college did he gradually start to open up again. As for his mother, Taeil was no longer angry with her, sometimes he often went out to dinner with her, and she looked very happy with her present life. By the way, it’s been a long time since he last came home, he wonders how his father and his stepmother are doing. Speaking of his stepmother, she was the one who made him feel more sympathetic with his mother more. People often say that stepmothers are all cruel, but he doesn’t see that because he sees her as his second mother. Seeing those who brought him into this life being happy is enough to make him feel satisfied.

 

But since the parting of his parents, in Taeil’s mind came a thought, that whether people really need that relationship in life or not. They come to each other’s side, promise everything they can think of, and finally, when all those feelings are gone, all they can do is suffer from the pain they gave to each other. If that’s the case, it would be better not to start, then there would be no suffering in the end, right?

 

This thought has been haunting Taeil’s mind throughout his high school years, and luckily his feelings for Hansol were only a small crush. When in college, this thought slowly faded away from his mind, probably because during those four years he didn’t have feelings for anyone. But now that he realized that he’s in love with Hansol a lot, that thought made a return. Taeil wants to run to Hansol and tell the latter all his feelings, but he doesn’t dare to do that. He is afraid that once this relationship has started, there will be no way out. What if he and Hansol end up like their parents in the past, then what will they have to suffer from?

 

But there’s one thing that worries him the most, is that there’s nothing can make sure Ji Hansol is feeling the same way as him.

 

But earlier Hansol said he will come again at ten and told Taeil to wait for him, why does he want to come to the café at that closing time?

 

==============

 

“I like you.”

 

Wait, what? Hansol just said he likes Taeil, right?

 

“Well… I like you too, we’re like, best friends, right?”

“That’s not it. Maybe I used the wrong word, let me say that again. Moon Taeil, I’m in love with you.”

“Stop joking, that’s not funny…”

“I’m serious. Since the day I watched you singing here I just can’t take my eyes off of you. Every day I come here just to find a chance to talk to you, but before I could do anything, you are the one who talked to me first. Thanks to you, my break times are not as boring as it used to be. I don’t know since when, but your voice, your smile, your lovely face, they are on my mind every single day. I know this is a bit sudden, but I swear all my feelings are sincere…”

 

Taeil turns his back to Hansol, he doesn’t know how to react to the latter’s confession. He said he loves him, which makes him very happy inside, but there’s something that keeps him from accepting this situation. He doesn’t want to make Hansol sad, but he also doesn’t know what is right to say.

 

“Please leave…”

“Taeil…”

“I said leave!”

 

Taeil still stays like this for a while until he hears the door’s closing sound, then he locks the door and goes home. On the way home, Taeil keeps thinking whether he should accept Hansol’s confession or not, but the more he thinks, the more he feels stuck, he can’t decide anything. Suddenly he finds himself useless, he easily took the risk to open a café, while he can’t do anything with this situation, which is obviously nothing to compare with the former thing.

 

Arriving at home and seeing the living room’s lights are still on, Taeil wonders why Taeyong is still not in his room yet. He walks into the house and sees Taeyong lying on the couch watching some movies. When Taeyong sees his cousin, he gets up to make room for Taeil. The two of them just sit there looking at the TV for a while when Taeil finally speaks up.

 

“Yong, do you think I will be like my parents?”

“What? I don’t understand.”

“Like my parents, the divorce.”

“What are you saying? You don’t even have a lover now.”

“Just answer me.”

“Well… I have no idea. But I think all you need to do is love each other, what will come later, you can deal with them when they come.”

“Even if you have to suffer a lot in the end?”

“But there are still good memories, right? In my opinion, every relationship just can’t be good all the time. Just like us sometimes, we have fights, but after those fights, we get to understand each other a little more, I think it’s the same for lovers.”

 

The room falls back into silence again, with only the sound coming from the movie on the TV. A moment later, Taeil stands up, telling Taeyong to go to bed early and returns to his room. That night, Taeil struggles to sleep, and he knows there’s another person also can’t bring himself to sleep because of Taeil’s attitude back then.

 

The next day, Taeil can’t see Hansol’s figure anywhere. He also goes to the studio to look for him, but the other dancers just say that the latter has asked to take a few days off. Hearing that, Taeil thinks he is busy so he can’t practice for a few days. But that “few days” have already passed and there’s still no Ji Hansol showing up, now he starts to think maybe Hansol was disappointed because of his attitude so he’s avoiding him. With this thought in mind, Taeil feels guilty, that night he was just afraid and worry about so many things so he didn’t know how to react. He has been thinking a lot these days, and could finally make a decision, but Hansol is already nowhere to be found before he can say anything. But that is just what he has in mind, it’s best to call Jaehyun first to find things out.

 

“Have you seen Hansol these days?”

"Of course, I just met him yesterday."

“Then do you know why he hasn’t been practicing?”

"Oh, he has a broken arm… uh oh…"

“What? Broken arm?”

"He told me not to tell you but I forgot, then I’ll give you his address, you can pay him a visit if you want."

 

After telling the staffs to take care of the café, Taeil quickly catches a taxi to the address Jaehyun just gave him. He rings the bell once, no one opens the door.  Because it’s hard to keep patient now so he rings the bell continuously, and the is finally opened, with the grumbling sound from Hansol follows. Seeing him, Hansol paused for a moment, then moves to the side to let him in. The atmosphere in the living room was quite awkward now, sometimes they will look at each other, seemingly wanting to say something. After a while, Taeil decides to speak first.

 

“Why your arm is broken?”

“I climbed up to clean the ceiling but stumbled then fell.”

“How about your daily life, is it hard?”

“A little, but it gets better when Yuta’s home.”

 

Taeil thinks Hansol was avoiding him, but he would never expect the latter not showing is because of his carelessness which led to a broken arm. After that, they become quiet again, but then it is Hansol who starts first this time.

 

“Taeil, about that night… I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. You can take those words as nonsense things if you want.”

 

Taeil just smiles, slightly shakes his head and looks into Hansol’s eyes.

 

“Actually, I thought you were avoiding me, which makes me feel very guilty for making you sad.”

 

Hansol looks at him confused, why does he feel guilty? Hansol can understand why Taeil acted like that, it was him who confessed all of a sudden.

 

“And I want to get here as fast as possible because I want to tell you something. I’ve been thinking a lot, and I decided to stay true to my feelings no matter what the future will be, I won’t regret this. Therefore, you have to listen carefully to my words.

 

Hansol looks even more confused, what is going on?

 

“Ji Hansol, I, Moon Taeil, is also in love with you.”