The Pianist
The Pianist
“Sohui, why don’t you try to find someone? You know what they say these days, you are single up until you are 25, once you are 26 years old, it’s called being unmarried,” Hoseok said.
Sohui sighed and tugged at her hair frustrated. She couldn’t understand why people made such a big deal out of something like this. Yes, she needed to find a partner but when the time was right and the stars were all aligned, it would happen. Or that’s what she hoped for.
On this account, she was right, when things are meant to happen, they will. You can rush it all you like but if the time has not yet arrived then things won’t happen no matter what you do. And luckily for her, the time was coming, things were in motion.
“This is Jinyoung. He’s a friend of mine,” Daeseong introduced with a hand on the other man’s shoulder and another pointing at said man’s chest, “He’s a really nice guy.” With that short comment, Daeseong left the new man and Sohui alone.
Sohui nodded, “I’m Sohui.” She held her drink in front of her like a shield and awkwardly sipped at it and looked away hoping to find another familiar face to run to.
What occurred after this was rather strange and new for Sohui. This new face, Jinyoung, engaged conversation quite unlike any other male had ever done. They shared interests and spoke of subjects that both found fascinating, soon both were absorbed in each other and time rushed by.
“I really want to continue this conversation, how about we meet up for coffee?” Jinyoung suggested.
Sohui paused, she had enjoyed this talk but coffee was rather forward and fast for her but what was life without a little spontaneity, “I’d love to.”
The two exchanged numbers and left the party.
That night Jinyoung sent a message stating how he enjoyed speaking to her and that they should meet up in a couple of days’ time. For Sohui, this was definitely unusual, people generally waited a day or two before messaging and so with little thought, she agreed to a coffee date.
Jinyoung had arrived earlier and waited outside the agreed café, he stood waiting and looking around for her to arrive. When Sohui was close to the place, she observed him for a moment. He was tall and seemed friendly, there was nothing to suggest that he was a bad person, even his sense of style was to her taste.
Sohui quickly walked and tapped his shoulder, “Sorry I’m late, I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”
He flashed a quick smile at her before his face settled to an amiable expression, “No, shall we go in?” He opened the door for her and walked in after her.
After a few minutes of indecision on Sohui’s part and a quick word for a black coffee for Jinyoung, both grabbed their drinks and sat down by the large window.
After she had agreed to the coffee date, Sohui had instantly started to worry about what the conversation would be about and whether or not it would be an awkward affair. She needn’t have worried, upon sitting down, Jinyoung had immediately carried the conversation. Very soon, both were laughing and sharing stories.
By the end of the date, Sohui had learnt that Jinyoung had only one sibling, namely an older sister, he was someone who enjoyed outdoor activities but appreciated a laidback day at home, he was an excellent cook and composed music in his spare time. He worked at a large firm in the city and was likely doing well – although he didn’t actually say much about it. He told funny stories of his younger years and spoke about current but not too controversial topics with Sohui. He listened to her and always tried to gain her perspective and opinion. All in all it had been a wonderful time.
___________________________________________________________________________
Sohui sat in the dark, hugging her knees to her chest, listening to last of the melody fade into silence. It was an original instrumental piece written by a Youtube composer, it had communicated with her inner sadness.
“It’s kind of sad that I’m sitting here convincing myself that you’re not the one and that I shouldn’t even bother giving you a chance. I’ve already decided based on what little that I know of you that you and I aren’t a match. It’s rather unfair isn’t it, the jury hasn’t even arrived but the decision has already been made. What I had realised too late was that I had already given a part of myself away. A part that I will never get back. And my desperate attempt to make you not count in my life is my only way of getting back what I gave away freely. For you do not know the value of something until you have given it away,” she said out loud into the darkness. She stared as the cars drove by and the lights changed colours from green to yellow to red and then after a while back to green. Sohui closed her eyes and tried to picture the man that she had seen just a couple of hours ago. Perhaps it was because this was only the second time that she had met him but the image of him was hazy and she couldn’t define certain features like his eyebrows or the bridge of his nose. What she could see was eyes crinkling up in laughter at her and the upturned corners of lips that portrayed the man’s happiness.
“Are you going to meet up with him again?” Hoseok asked while eating ice cream. She held her small spoon to and ate the ice cream, two seconds later repeating the action.
Sohui breathed out and looked away, “I don’t think so.”
“You always do this, you meet the guy and then decide that you can’t be with him. Based on what, I don’t know!” Hoseok looked agitated and opened to chastise her friend some more but then looked down, huffed and dug into her ice cream furiously.
Sohui watched her friend angrily eat the dessert, “I just don’t know what I want, it’s too hard and complicated.”
Her friend looked at her with outrage, and seemed to have trouble finding the words to speak to Sohui, “You could use that excuse when you were 21, but you’re not anymore. You will end up living the unmarried life if you continue – .”
“Would it be such a bad thing?” Sohui cut in, softly but determined. “Is it such a terrible thing to not be in a relationship?”
“It’s not like you can’t commit, I don’t even know what your problem is anymore,” Hoseok was clearly exasperated. “You play your darn piano all the time except for the tiny break that you had during university. You went straight back to it after you graduated. I just… I just don’t know what to do with you.” Although Hoseok was very agitated about this entire problem – she saw it as a problem, not Sohui – the fond and worried look betrayed her true feelings, she was fearful that her friend would be alone. Sohui had few friends and soon everyone would be married off, start another chapter and be unable to support Sohui as much.
“I’ll be fine,” Sohui said, trying hard to reassure her friend, she placed a hand on Hoseok’s hand and smiled the way she always did, happily with no other thoughts in mind.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you,” Hoseok grumbled.
Contrary to what she had said, Sohui did meet up with Jinyoung again and again and again. Soon they had developed a routine and both were comfortable and happy. Sohui got to share her love of music with him and he had appreciated it from the start, even playing a couple of duets with her and sharing his own compositions with her. Jinyoung shared his love of cooking and both enjoyed trying the various dishes that he came up with. Once a week they would go out for lunch together, they went to different restaurants and shared their orders. They went to two different theatre productions, watched a few movies together and had countless dinners together. He still surprised her with the occasional flowers or her favourite, a baked goodie. She still remembered their social events and sorted out gifts for friends and important dates for family events or birthdays. She would also make the occasional dinner, which made it special and was something that warmed Jinyoung’s heart.
Then one day after about 7 months, something was amiss. Sohui was out of sorts, she felt unsettled. While at home she played her piano and the notes just came out all wrong. In the months that they were together, they had good times and bad times but there was always more happiness than anything else. All of a sudden, she realised that she felt off key because he hadn’t messaged her or done anything at all for a couple of days. Jinyoung had been busy and unable to contact her, he had warned her in advance but it was still a shock to her system. With that thought, her music turned darker, the bass notes came out bringing with it a haunting melody.
Jinyoung’s busy week passed and he planned a picnic with all her favourite treats. Something sweet, something savoury, something with a bit of tang and lots of colour. It was a beautiful spread that tweaked the song in her heart, but her behaviour was still unusual.
A couple of hours later…
“I don’t know what I did wrong!?!” he roared at her. Sohui’s behaviour had been off for the entire day and he hadn’t been able to coax it out of her, so his frustration levels were through the roof.
“Gosh!! You frustrate me! You make me laugh! You make me cry! You make me happy but you make me sad! Nobody should be allowed to have that much impact in my life. No human should have so much control over the way I feel!” – Perhaps it was how raw she sounded but he was shocked. If it weren’t that the situation called for seriousness one might have laughed at the two, one silent because she was out of breath; the other because he had nothing to counteract the emotional outburst.
The stretch of silence continued until Jinyoung breathed out, “I didn’t know that’s how you felt.”
“Well, I certainly wasn’t going to tell you, was I?” she shot back sarcastically.
He nodded and conceded she did have a point. He started to smile, he couldn’t help himself. Soon his smile grew wider and wider. He tried to hide it by turning his head but his grin turned to a chuckle and then a laugh.
Sohui was confused and she felt rather offended by his reaction, as she was about to retort he cut in and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing in relief, I thought you wanted to break up with me. I was really worried.” Sohui was at a loss, Jinyoung always seemed so confident, this admission of his was out-of-place and she wasn’t sure what to do.
He got up from where he was sitting, walked in two strides to her and pulled her towards him. “I’m so glad that this was what was wrong. So glad,” he said whispering into her hair. He held onto her as if she was going to leave him, as if he needed to anchor her and keep her where he felt she belonged – next to him, with him.
Sohui learnt then that it was okay to have her hurricane of emotions and that for now, at least, she could trust Jinyoung to protect her feelings. You see, it’s okay to let someone in and you might get hurt, but if you don’t play the opening tune then you can’t listen to the rest of the song.
Comments