[ sorry for the mistakes and sloppiness ;; ]

You walked home with his hand intertwined with yours, softly swaying as you two walked with a bright mood, even though the night was getting darker. You looked up to him, once again, thinking about what happened earlier at the beach. He looked at you, too, with a cute timid smile. You always liked his timid side because you think it's really cute.
 

"I like you, Kim Yongguk. Will you date me for the second time?"

You saw his eyes got wider, and soon he was flustered enough that he can't even speak properly. It was like this, back then, too. The first time you confessed to him, it was so sudden, and he never expected you would confess. So, he was flustered, before, too. He looked everywhere else, but not at you. You were just watching him blink a few times, and gaze around.

"Yah, Kim Yongguk. I'm waiting." You said, to break off the deafening silence as the sun disappeared from the horizon, and it was getting darker, now.

He cleared his throat, and let out a chuckle before finally uttering a word.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?" He asked, which made you smile wider.

"I was the one who asked you, back then, too, dummy." You said, and scrunched your nose as you said the last word.

He softly whispered your name, loud enough for only the two of you to hear, and asked, "Will you date me for the second time?"

"Mhm. I will." You said, after nodding. He pulled for a hug, which you returned, as tightly as you can, that the both of you had a hard time breathing.

"Shouldn't we go back, now? Your parents might worry about you." He said, against the top of your head, which made you flich since you felt ticklish with his breathe on your head.

"Another 5 minutes." You said.

"You said that for the third time, already. Come on, let's go back." He said as he pulled away from the hug. You whined, and pouted, in return. He just smiled at you, and patted your head. You were quite shocked when he took your hand in his, and intertwined them.

You were usually the one who holds his hands, since he was kind of shy initiating skinship with you. You giggled at this moment, and that made Yongguk feel shy, once again. But still, walked with you while holding hands. 

You saw your parents waiting for you at the bench, outside of your house, sitting next to each other. You suddenly ran up to them, dragging Yongguk in the process. As you reached the bench, you were smiling like a kid, but panting quite deeply after running.

"Mom! Dad! Guess what?" You said, playfully while you lifted your intertwined hands for them to see. Yongguk just gave them a sheepish smile.

Of course, your parents have no problem with that, and were both happy for the two of you. All of you went inside the house, and ate dinner. Dinner was filled with positivity, as always, even though Yongguk was just listening, mostly.

Soon, you bid farewell with your parents, and went back to Seoul.

"Want to go out, tomorrow?" He said, while you were fumbling for your keys, in your bag, to open your house's gate.

"Where are we going?" You asked with excitement. Sure, you always hang out with him. But, this time is different, since it would be the first time after you got back together.

"Where do you want?" He returned the question.

"Amusement park. You can't say no!" You said in a rush, when you saw his mouth open in an attempt to protest. You quickly gave him a peck on his lips, and chuckled. "See you at the subway station, tomorrow! Around 9am? Wear something cute. Drop the monochrome clothes, will you?" You said, while finally opening your gate. He just sighed, as you told the last part. Of course, he would give in to your request, because why not?

You walked backwards so you can wave at him for the last time. He waved, too. You went inside your house. And he went home, too.

You met at the subway station, the next day. You found where he was standing, and then you suddenly thought of something, when you came up to him.

"If we would ride the subway together, let's wait for each other at this same spot, a'ight?" You said, and he just nodded at you. You noticed that he was wearing a pink shirt, with three prints of a pokemon named Ditto. He looked good in pink.

“Never knew you had any clothes of different color from gray, black, and white. Is that Sihyun’s?” You said, while examining his outfit today.

He shook his head, and replied, “This is mine. I just don’t wear it but, I did, today. I wanted to create a cute self-concept. You told me to wear something cute, too, anyway. Aren’t I cute?” He asked you. And, you gave him a look from head to toe, before saying,

“You do! You should really drop dark clothes. Wear something brighter!” You said, as you pinched his cheeks. He was adorably cute that you just can’t stop yourself from pinching his cheeks.

You soon rode the subway to get to your destination. You went inside the amusement park, and you just dragged him everywhere you wanted to ride or go inside to. And, since he wanted to do a cute concept, you dragged him in a photo booth where the pictures would come out with cute filters. He didn’t want to at first, but you pulled him, anyway. And, as much as he said he wanted to do a cute concept, he just made dorky faces, while you just smiled regularly. The photos came out well, and of course Yongguk’s faces were so funny, but nonetheless, still cute and adorable.

You ate at the stalls inside the park, and played a bit more, until the two of you finally got tired, and decided to call it a day.  It was evening, by then.

He stayed in your place, for a little while, and you just cuddled on your couch. You just stayed in comfortable silence. There wasn’t much to talk about because, the two of you were practically sticking to each other 24/7. You kissed him on his nose, and buried your face against his shoulders. Every day with him still makes your heart flutter as if it was only a few days when the two of you started dating. Every touch still lingers as if it was the first time you held hands, cuddled, or anything else.

News of you getting back together broke out to your friends and acquaintances eventually as the both of you carried on with your individual lives. And you continued the happy life of having a significant other.

Of course the two of started having those “I’m sorry, I can’t…” moments because the two of you slowly got busier with your own lives. This might actually have been the reason of your break up back then.

The first year was full of lovey-dovey moments, and all of these surprise gifts, and efforts in an attempt to make each other's day brighter than any other day you’ve lived.

The second, was the transition from almost 24/7 dates to barely minutes of phone calls. During this time, both of you were still apologetic wherever one cannot come, call, or text.

But the third year got worse. The two or you were fed up by consecutive apologies with various excuses, and trying to convince the other he/she would make up for it using different things. It was as if the only conversation you had was

“Why didn’t you..”

“I’ll just try to make it up with..”

The two of you barely say “I like you” or even a simple “Good night”. Everything turned to “I can’t..”, “I’m with..”, or “I don’t think..”. You were frustrated, of course. So was he. Well, who wouldn't? It was even frustrating that the both of you got used to it that you don’t even argue about it, nor expect the other to make up for it. All those ditching moments turned to be the things you never will talk about. If the other comes, then good. If not, then okay.

By your third year anniversary, the two of you can sense by then, that your relationship was on the verge breaking up. But no one really wanted to break the ice, no one tried to call it out, yet. Because deep down there, you were still struggling to fix this mess you’ve turned into, and make it work.

But that night was just different. The night when you finally broke up was different. The two of you finally realized that this was going nowhere, that dragging this for too long won’t benefit any of you.

Yongguk knew that you had more courage to cut it off, but he also knew that you would be confused on how to bring it up with you in the nicest possible way. Even though you think you have to end it now, you were still afraid to lose him. Yongguk felt that way, too. He didn’t want to lose you, but someone had to step up. Someone had to break it, after all.

And so, he did, but he didn’t want to cut off communications with you.

"Let's break up." The man walking beside you suddenly stopped to say that. He then turned to you, still holding your hand, and looked straight into your eyes.

"Let's do that, then." You agreed, smiling bitterly. You let go of his hand, and now, you can feel your hand going numb due to the cold air you've come in contact as soon as his warm touch was gone.

Silence overwhelmed the two of you, not until you spoke up, again.

“You should go home, Yongguk-ah. Good night.” You smiled at him for the last time, and turned to walk the remaining steps leading to your house. However, as soon as your back faced him, he slipped his arms to wrap them around your waist, and you could feel his head resting against your shoulder. He tried pulling you closer, and you didn’t even resist stepping backwards. You felt yourself thinking twice on leaving him.

“Can we still be back to the regular us, after this? Can I.. wait for you.. to come back to me?” Although you were confused with your feelings, and as to why you asked the second question, you had your hopes of not getting rejected. You suddenly doubt yourself. Do you really not feel anything for this man, at all, anymore? Or were you just mistaken?

“I’d like that, too. I’m gonna try to go back to you.” Yongguk whispered, enough for you to hear. You knew to yourselves that although you were tired of your situation, you weren't ready to let the other go, yet.

Did your feelings fade? There was nothing wrong with the two of you. No recent fights or arguments. No third party. No objections to their relationship. Nothing at all. But, both of you just knew your relationship won't work further, anymore.

Rather, both of you thought your relationship won’t work anymore. You were too busy trying to make up with each other, when just by knowing that you have each other’s backs would’ve been enough. And that the two of you should’ve talked it out. Whether it was space or time you needed, you should’ve talked it out with each other.

But, you went straight to breaking up. Even if both of your hearts were still clutching to the other’s fingertips, not wanting to let go, with all might.

You looked at your wristwatch.

7:33am. Luckily, you’re not yet late for your appointment. You made your way down the stairs of the subway station, and noticed the train you’re getting on isn't there, yet.

You looked around for a little while, it's something you can't stop doing. You looked around, unconsciously looking out for a tall man who has a captivating fox-like eyes, but has a little resemblance to a cat. Maybe because the man loves cats so much, he started looking like one. Kim Yongguk.

You sighed, giving up. You just started walking to the spot you and Yongguk usually wait for the train to come, with your head hanging low, just staring at your moving feet.

After your second breakup, you lost almost all contact to each other. But, the feeling of bitter emptiness, and longing didn't move away from you, even an inch would do, but nothing changed at all. If there was, you missed him more, every day without him. You often wondered if he feels the same, too.

Does he think about me, at times, too? Does he feel empty without someone to nag him as much as I do? Or is he seeing another woman, now?

You still remember his phone number. No matter how many times you delete it in your phone, your fingers remember. Your mind remembers. Your heart remembers.

You walked slowly, remembering the times you and Yongguk were dating. The first time you did this and that. The time you got back together. And, the time you broke up, for the second time.

You broke up, once again, with same reasons, same feelings.

Are we not just for each other? Or did we not try enough to make "us" work? 

You breathed another sigh of confused feelings, and raised your head to look infront of you, brushing stray strands of hair that fell from looking down onto the back of your ear, for a clearer view of what's infront of you.

You abruptly stopped on your tracks after your gut feeling told you that you were not seeing wrongly. And that, it was really Yongguk whom your eyes landed on. That Yongguk who doesn't want to talk much. That Yongguk who randomly wears pink clothes, and insists he wants to look cute and refreshing. But in reality, his clothes are full of white, black, and gray. That Kim Yongguk.

It's him. There's no way, it isn't him. That slouchy figure. That white shirt with a tiny kermit print on the left chest part. He was looking at his phone, and once he freed his eyes from the screen, he met with your eyes.

You were staring at each other now. Both taken aback by this sudden meeting. He was standing there, at your usual spot.

You took a deep breath, carefully not breaking eye contact, and lifted your foot, one after another. Slowly. Closing the gap between you.

"What am I doing?" You whispered to yourself. But nonetheless, continued getting near him.

"Yongguk-ah." You called out, after stopping, one step apart from each other. Your head was slightly raised to meet the gaze of the taller man. "Kim Yongguk." You called, again.

He did the same, he called your name with that slightly deep voice, and his head slightly bent to look at you.

You looked at each other's eyes, seeing your own reflections, searching for answers to the questions and words left unsaid and buried to the back of your hearts and minds.

I missed you. Can't you come back to me, again, Yongguk-ah?, you tried to convey with your eyes piercing through his.

I missed you. Are you still waiting for me? Can I still come back to you?, he tried, too.

Little did the two of you know, you were sharing a moment of lingering feelings for each other. But continued in silence, feeling contented with the other's presence. It was like the people who walked pass by were suddenly gone. The noise surprisingly grew quiet. Like the only two of you were there.

His and your inner thoughts sincerely understood what you wanted, but hesitation locked both of your lips, and resisted to uncover the words the both of you left unsaid.

Can we still try again?

[ thank you! ]