Three years had passed both stay in touched.But there were those months were they stopped communicating each other.The reason was simply because Taeyeon got to know that Tiffany was dating.

She's jealous that's for sure.Spare her heart from pain she remembered to joke herself.

But those dates and relationship does not last long.So they're communication was on and off.

Taeyeon became restless because she's been thinking of confessing Tiffany. She knew the chance was slim but she can't take it anymore. Her mind and heart wanted to burst for not letting out her suppressed feelings for Tiffany.

When she counted the years of loving to the latter made her surprised in a way.

"Six years...that's how long it been."

She's waiting for the notification to pop out.She's waiting for Tiffany's message. They been chatting frequently these past months.

But this particular chat session was different from all of their past chat session. Because this time she will confess to Tiffany. She can't take it anymore. She knew the risk was very high but she said it's better that she have to said it than not.Because she knew she would regret it in her life for not being brave for once.

She will take the plunge and gamble.She just sent message to Tiffany earlier. Saying...

"Hi Fany-ah, I'm going to tell you something later okay? That's a big deal you know?"

She knew Tiffany was still not reading the message because the girl was still in school.

Her phone beeps for incoming notification. She smiled and felt nervous.

"Hi! Taetae what was it?"

Because of nervousness and after reading Tiffany's reply.She suddenly become coward again.

"Aish...forget about it."

"Yah! Taetae what was it?"

"I said forget it .It's nothing."

"No, it's not nothing. You know you can tell me anything right?"

She became more nervous because it's like Tiffany was really curious on what she sent earlier.

"Yeah, I know but it's really nothing. Just forget about it okay?"

"Okay :("

"Hey...what's with the sad emoji? Why are you sad?"

"Because you don't want to tell me what you wanted to say."

"Sorry I'm still not ready I guess?"

"Then when's the time you're ready?"

"When's the timing was right I guess? And it's better for you to not know it."

"You know timing was nothing as long as the receiver wanted to know it too."

She exhaled, she didn't know that confessing this gonna be hard  and telling that she's gay for the first time.

"I promise the receiver will know it soon :)"

"Okay.Just remember I'm here  always to listen okay?"

"Sorry I'm a coward."

"It's okay but please be brave soon?"

"Okay.By the way how was your day?"

She stopped .She knew she's hopeless coward.

"Ah, about that it turned great. Taetae! :)"

"Wow someone looks happy. What happened?" She smiled while typing.

"The guy I like just asked me out on a lunch earlier."

That stopped Taeyeon from smiling. It took minutes before everything absorbed in her mind.

'So you like someone else now? And that guy finally asked you out.'

" Great ! just great here I am dying from nervousness on whether I should confess or not but turned out arrrgh!!" Taeyeon suddenly felt like had just die.

She didn't think that it would happen. Two consecutive beep came to her phone.She read it lifelessly she lost the interest on chatting with Tiffany after the revelation.

"Taetae ?"

"Taetae still there?"

"Yes."

"How about you how was your day?"

"I'm sorry Fany-ah ,Umma's calling sorry."

"Okay, bye just chat me again."

"Okay, bye."

Taeyeon messed her hair and shouted her frustration tossing her phone to the table. Her hopes just lost drastically.Now how can she confess knowing Tiffany was seeing a guy back at U.S.

"What should I do? Maybe I should just confess later.Let's end it once and for all.It's been long I don't care anymore for the result. I just really want to let out this suppressed feelings." She clutched to her heart.Deeply feeling the pain and hurt.

"Why do I even love you Fany-ah knowing it's hopeless?Why!?"

She get her phone and started typing her confession. She's determined to end it.She planned to block Tiffany so she cannot see the reply or knew the disgust to her.

She's done typing and sent it then blocked Tiffany's number.

"This is it Fany-ah. It's really goodbye now.Maybe if I don't felt that way things will never be complicated and you're still with me .Still my best friend."

To Mushroom

          Hi! Don't hate me for the things you will read in this message. I plan to do it with a blog but my blog was too dramatic so let's settle with this.Sorry in advance. I really am.

I know after you read this many things will change.Just remember I didn't wanted to feel it but it naturally came.So sorry.

So Fany-ah, wow this was nerve wracking. I don't how am I gonna said it.

Okay this is it.It's real now.Fany-ah I like you since we're still in high school.I'm sorry to feel this way.I know it so wrong to feel this way but blame my stubborn heart. I'm sorry again.

Why now? Because I can't take it anymore. It keep bugging me so I have to do something about it.I'm sorry again.Sorry.

P.s. I like you a lot more than the word like itself. I<3U.

P.s.s Told yah! It's better if you didn't know it.It just made you shocked about the revelation.

P.s.s. Can you make it a secret to just between us? Pretty pwease~.You can erase this message so that the guy you're seeing will not see it.Okay? Take care and good luck always. :)

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Three years passed, After Taeyeon confessed and blocked Tiffany's number she never heard any news about the latter. She knew some of her friends has still communicating with Tiffany but she never asked.She said it's better to not any have contact to Tiffany. The better way to fully move on which was so hard.

She tried but who the hell she kidding she's her first love.No matter how much she still wanted Tiffany she knew she cant.That night she confessed to Tiffany she knew everything ended between them.

There this time she felt regretted her confession. She's a bit embarrassed of what she did confessing to your best friend was really embarrassing knowing it will not be mutual. But she said no matter how embarrassing that was it's still worth it at least she tried and be brave for once. What's not was worth was she would never have Tiffany again even just a friend.

"Hey, Taengoo hows work?" Heechul interrupted Taeyeon's thoughts.

"Haist...still stressing but a handful one." She smiled.

"Still don't know any news about Tiffany?" Heechul asked .She saw the deep thinking Taeyeon and he knew who it was.

Taeyeon opened to Heechul last year she told everything about her feelings for Tiffany. She got shocked when Heechul said he knew all along.She's really surprised that she stopped to talked for a while but Heechul said his gay radar was really strong. She became relaxed after that at least someone understand her now.

"Yes."

"You know I can tell you. It's been years now Taengoo." Heechul sipped his coffee.

"Yes you can because I wanted too, but Heechul I don't want to hear anything now because it might not cause good to me...You know just one thing about her and there I came back crawling to her.Just for once I want to spare my heart from heartbreak... And we all knew I'll never have a chance." Taeyeon shifted her gaze on the window looking to the set of busy people walking.

"You'll never know because you blocked her maybe she might said something."

"Maybe, but it's been three years you know.If she really might have a thing to that maybe she'll call one of you...but she didn't." Heechul just nodded.

"But are you sure about your decision?"

Taeyeon props her hand under her chin and looked outside with mellow look.

"To tell you Heechul, that's the decision I've been holding for years but if we're under different circumstances why not? change it?Even I had that decision you know why would I not want right? Tiffany's someone I dearly hold in my heart.I don't want to put chaos in her life anymore. What I did back there was just my impulsive act because of crazy and confusing thoughts."

"Wow! You're lovesick Taengoo!" Heechul stands up and throw her arms around Taeyeon's shoulder.

"Yah! Stop it!" Taeyeon protested.Heechul stopped and go back to his seat.

"Seriously Taengoo were getting older stopped being so emo and enjoy your life."

Taeyeon scoffed and throws a tissue to Heechul.

"You're the only old here.And Mr.Kim I'm enjoying my life I admit it's boring to you guys.But your lifestyle was really different from me.And you're just like that because you have a boyfriend."

"Glad you finally admitted it.But don't blame my relationship for you being emo." Heechul throws a tissue too on Taeyeon.

"Yah! I really love you as a best friend!"Taeyeon said with sarcasm.

"Me too, I love you bestfriend!" Heechul replied sarcastically.

"Ew!!! Pffft!"

"Ew!!! Pffft!"

They both laughed at their silliness.

"That was a good laughed." Taeyeon said after she recovered from laughing.

"Yeah, Me too."

'Glad you're laughing Taengoo even though I knew you're broken inside.'

"But seriously Taengoo, why not give a chance to Jieun? She's cute and quite a catch.She's been crushing on you since college?"

"Stop it Heechul. Not gonna happen. She's just friend nothing more."

'I still want Tiffany.'

"Yeah...yeah Whipped Taetae ~" Heechul suddenly did an aegyo.

"Yuck! Disgusting!" Taeyeon put her hands on her ears.

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Tiffany inhaled the air she'd missed for so long.She smiles and feeling more satisfied than ever.She just landed came from U.S. and now she's in Korea now.

"Korea, I missed you." She whispered to herself.

She missed the country so much especially the people she left behind when she leaved seven years ago.But she knew in her heart she's been missing and looking for someone in particular; Taeyeon.

Whay happened to them in the past was really a rollercoaster she called. Many things happened and many of those were left hanging begging for answers from the both them.

After Taeyeon had confessed on her that night many things happened too.

She's lying if she tell that she didn't freak out about Taeyeon's confession, she was. But what made her more freak out that time when Taeyeon blocked her number and didn't let her say what she wanted to say about it.

Because of that she turned mad at Taeyeon for not trusting her .Given she would be shocked but she's still her best friend. She's really mad that she didn't contacted Taeyeon again.Even though she wanted it , she too don't know what to say that time.

Given she like Taeyeon too that's why she had those clingy moments with Taeyeon. But she stopped those thoughts because she thought she's just confused that time.That's why that time she gave Siwon a chance but it just turned out to be a jerk.

She genuinely grew liked Siwon that's why she even cried on their break up.But she regretted it after she knew everything about the real Siwon.

She's thankful that Taeyeon was there to accompanied her.To hear her cries and listened to her attentively. She's really greatful to the latter who's stayed to her in every up's and down's she faced.

That help her to completely forget Siwon.She became more happy again.And her feelings toward Taeyeon came back again.And what was it, it just grew more.

Her admiration to Taeyeon just grew deeper. Because when she remember all the things Taeyeon did to her including helping her to heal because of Siwon. Taeyeon was there and never left her that just made her admired Taeyeon more.

But thing's got complicated and she had to fly back U.S. to continue her studies. That left her shocked too because she's readying herself graduating again with Taeyeon and their friends but it turns out not.She remembered Taeyeon even avoided her but she carefully explained it to the unhappy Taeyeon. Luckily Taeyeon understand her like always.

They stayed communicating for years but became on and off.She noticed that Taeyeon only stops chatting to her when she was dating someone. Which was never last long because she knew what she wanted.Dating those guys was just a way of keeping her mind of thinking about Taeyeon who's miles away from her.

She never felt special feelings for those she dated like what she has for Taeyeon. Sometimes she's guilty when Taeyeon would found out about it,that's the reason too she's breaking up immediately to those guys.

The reason why she didn't let Taeyeon knew about her feelings even though she can.It's because she's still not sure if her family wouldamove back to Korea.So she just suppressed her feelings and just continued what they were.

And when Taeyeon confessed she's really shocked that after all , the feelings were mutual. She starred at her phone for an half hour trying to digest everything. When she's ready to say about it she got mad when she noticed Taeyeon blocked her number.

So the result she didn't said what she have to say.She's a walking zombie for a week because of that.She just decided to not let it affect her studies so the best way to keep away her mind was to study more.She became a nerd for years.

She's still stay in touch with her friends. Where she got updates about Taeyeon. She felt relieve and sad at the same time knowing that they're both miserable.Relieved, because it's not really one sided, sad because they had to be that way. They're friends even nagged her to just contacted again Taeyeon but she stayed to her decision.