hello and good evening to everyone.

i'm sure you all have heard about the news about shinee's jonghyun and how he passed away yesterday night. it was a very heartbreaking moment and i was in my fan account waiting for sm's confirmation along with my other mutuals. when sm dropped the bomb, i went numb and i just stared at my screen until i felt a tear fall down unto my cheeks. i didn't really realize that i was crying, i was just too lost at that moment.

i admit that i am not much of a shawol but i hype them, i support them, i love them. they've been one of the reasons why i am into kpop along with snsd and bigbang and other 2^nd gen groups. i admire and idolize jonghyun because he has a very sweet voice and i love hearing him sing. we lost a true and genuine human.

as we all know, he has been suffering from depression—he had been open to it, but we never really expected him to go this soon. but do you know what infuriates me the most? it's when he went to a doctor and the doctor said that it was all in his mind.

you don’t just say that to someone who has problems and is mentally ill. and to think that you are a doctor, i just can't believe this. this is one of the ing reasons why mental illness is taken lightly by a lot of people. they think that they're just being overreacting or it's all in the mind when they are going through serious .

with this, i would just like to tell any of you reading this that you are not alone. if you have problems, please talk to someone. you can talk to me. my messages are always open for you. you can also dm me and i swear i would answer. i don't care if we don't know each other but if it means that you'll stay in this world, i will talk and listen to you.

i've been suicidal, i've been there, i've done that. i know that feeling of being happy but at the same time, you feel empty. i know how you're not sad, but you feel like there is a heavy weight on your shoulders. i know the feeling when you think everyone turned their backs against you and no one would be there to tell you that it's fine.

so please, please, please, if you have things bothering you, or just stuff you want to lift off your chest, please talk to anyone because i swear, it will eat you up. it will stay in your being, engulfing you whole, until it affects and controls every single aspect of your life. life is beautiful, however ty it might be.

please remember that you are important. you are stronger. and you matter.

i am always here for you.

;