"I'm wondering now like a kid who is lost."

-MONSTA X, Shine Forever

“You deserve to be in here,” Hoseok says plainly, sitting across from Minhyuk on the bed. “I mean, just think of what you've done… You're lucky you're not rotting away in jail.”

“No,” Minhyuk murmurs, squeezing his eyes shut and curling up into the fetal position. “I didn't do anything, hyung. You're confusing me with someone else again. You always do that nowadays.”

“Minhyuk-ah…” Hoseok sighs. He sits back on his hands, one knee pulled up to his chest while his other lies against the mattress. “I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just telling you how it is. First step to healing is admittance, Minmoongie.” A weak whine slips from Minhyuk's lips as he presses his face against the pillow. 

“Just get out, please,” he murmurs, voice thick with emotion. Hoseok sighs again, shaking his head as he stands from the bed, the cheap mattress creaking with the shifting of his weight. 

“You'll see it my way eventually,” he says. He then reaches over to pat Minhyuk's shoulder consolingly, and then turns to leave the room. “And don't think Wonnie’s schemes are gonna help you, Moongie,” he adds over his shoulder as an afterthought. “The only way out of this is my way, plain and simple.”

Minhyuk doesn't bother responding, too tired to do so. The medication is starting to drag him down. It makes his eyelids feel like they're made of lead, and all he wants to do is sleep off this wonderful conversation he's had. 

“Mr. Lee,” the doctor greets, turning round in his chair to face the young man. Minhyuk hums, bowing respectfully before taking a seat. The older man begins shuffling through the papers on his desk, a familiar crease forming along his brow. “The nurses said you had a visit from Hoseok today… I'm guessing he spoke with you about—”

“About the same cryptic stuff he always speaks with me about,” Minhyuk finishes for the doctor. 

“You still don't remember why you're here?” 

“Hoseok knows, but he won't tell me,” Minhyuk mumbles, the frustration clear in his voice. “He thinks I know, but I don't. None of the rest of us do…” 

“Minhyuk-ssi,” the doctor begins, leaning forward. “Maybe you should listen to Hoseok. From what I can tell, he's trying to give you a way to heal.”

“How's Kihyunnie doing?” Minhyuk asks, ignoring the comment. He's bored of this extremely typical discussion. “It feels like years since I've seen him… Have his eyes healed since the accident?” 

The doctor purses his lips at the question, his expression becoming unreadable. 

“I’m not treating him,” the man says, “and you know why, don't you?” 

Minhyuk frowns, shaking his head confusedly. They had both been brought in, from the same accident… Why would Kihyun been assigned to a different practitioner? Maybe he had been assigned to a specialist, because of his eye injuries? Surely that's it. 

“Because you're not the kind of doctor he needs,” Minhyuk finally says, his words coming out slowly and thoughtfully. A beat of silence passes before the professional sighs heavily. 

“That'll be all for today, Minhyuk-ssi,” the man tells him, waving towards the door. “Why don't you walk around outside? That always helps you more than these sessions ever do.” Minhyuk nods and stands from his seat. He gives the doctor a short bow before turning towards the door and leaving the office. 

Minhyuk loves the surrounding nature of the hospital. There's always a slight fog curling about the ground, and trees stretched towards the sky in small clusters leading to the forest beyond. He pauses in his walking, staring off into the forest. It reminds him of the night of the accident, the voices, screams, and pain so vivid it feels as if it's only been a day, and not a week…

“Come on, Minhyuk-ah,” Kihyun says, stretching his little arms towards the roof of the car. “We've been driving for hours. Let's just stop on the side the road tonight and start up again in the morning.”

“We’re already running late enough as is,” Minhyuk replies. “You can sleep if you want, but I'm not stopping until I get us to the next pit stop.”

“Aiiiish, Minhyuk-ah,” Kihyun yawns. He turns as if to say something, but he merely frowned instead. He snuggles down into his seat, turning his head towards the passing scenery instead. 

 

An interminable amount of time passes between then and the accident. Minhyuk had just been about to blink, when suddenly a maintenance truck swerves from the oncoming lane towards them. Minhyuk panics, turning the wheel as fast as he can to avoid the crash. 

Out of the frying pan and into the fire, so it seems. 

Next thing Minhyuk knows, there's screaming. So much screaming. He can't tell if it's his own or Kihyun's. It feels as if they're flying, their bodies slamming against the seats, the roof, the safety belts… 

Finally, they stop moving. The car has somehow landed upright at the base of the cliff they had been driving along. Minhyuk sits up, shakily leaning away from the wheel. He reaches up with a gentle hand to his own hand, glancing at his fingers to see the sticky feeling there is blood. 

“Damn,” he says breathily. He looks over, ready very much for Kihyun's nagging to start as soon as he meets the younger’s eyes. However, Kihyun doesn't look at him. “Kihyun-ah, are you okay?” Minhyuk says, reaching over to gently shake the younger. When it doesn't work, he tries again, saying a bit louder, “Kihyunnie! Come on, please answer me. I'm sorry, I was trying to avoid hitting a truck… Kihyun-ah, please… Please tell me you're okay…”

His voice becomes weaker and weaker as he goes on, shaking Kihyun over and over for some kind of response. He jumps out of the car and pulls the slightly younger’s body out of the seat. He sets him down on the grass beside the car, thinking maybe fresh air would help bring the young man back to consciousness. 

He steps back, shocked into silence by how light Kihyun had been. He stares at his own trembling hands, a new blood painting them. 

“Hyung,” Hyungwon's voice suddenly says, poking at his shoulder to get his attention. Minhyuk jumps about five feet off the ground, and the reaction earns an amused smirk from the younger. “You're getting as bad as Jooheonney,” Hyungwon comments before sighing. “Look, I know you spoke with Hoseok-hyung this morning… I don't want you to listen to him. I have a new idea that I think will really help Kihyun-hyung this time, as well as you…”

Minhyuk hums, nodding his head for the younger to go on. He motions for them to go sit on a nearby bench, and they do so, settling down to hear the younger’s latest spiel.