My life is pretty boring. There's nothing really special about it.... Until high school. Life was pretty good before high school. There was less drama and you had more friends. 

Every morning I just wake up and do my thing. There's nothing really special. It consists of my brother banging on my door to wake up. Lovely ain't it.... It doesn't get better. I barely have time to eat breakfast so I usually don't eat breakfast and rush to catch the bus. I missed the bus a couple of times. It's not fun. 

Everything was normal until I meet him. He was my 8th grade crush. His name was Do Kyungsoo. He was sweet and very shy. He didn't know much Korean and it was really cute. I told Rina about him. She suddenly befriended him and it was as if she known him for years. She had his phone number before me. I wasn't gonna lie. I was in fact a little jealous. I had the courage to finally walk up to him and played it cool by saying that I didn't have his number. We started texting and became even more close. He made me want to go to school. He was the reason I looked forward to school. I guess that's how you feel when you fall in love. He was special. 

One day Rina invited him to go somewhere with us. Without letting me know beforehand. Honestly I was mad and I didn't really want to see him out of school. They were flirting with each other in front of my faces. She knew I liked him. I didn't think she won't do this. My heart broke.

"He likes her" I thought to myself. I kept thinking he would never like someone like me. I kept looking down on myself and comparing us. It's true I wasn't smarter than her. I was never as beautiful as her. I could never compete against her.

I fell into depression after that. Everything just built up and I kept it to myself. After all I never even told my parents that I was bullied in school. I told them to not tell them. But when that all happened, I still texted Kyungsoo.

I hid everything to him like I did to myself. I will never tell anyone. I should suffer myself. After all it's my fault for thinking all this. It's my fault for trusting people and falling in love. It's my fault for comparing.