Fanservice. It wasn’t a thing Woohyun thought about much before, when he was a trainee. Back then he just wanted to debut, to sing. His mind was filled with vocal training, dance lessons, rinse and repeat until he could do them with eyes closed, exhausted beyond belief. It wasn’t like he never thought of it ever – he knew, on some level, that if, or when, he debuted, that it’ll be a thing he’ll have to do – but it just wasn’t something that was particularly important at that time. Now though...

Now it occupies his mind constantly, buzzing behind the lower drone of melodies and dance routines and remembering to smile and be funny and entertaining at interviews.

Interviews. Someone’s asking something. He hadn’t been paying attention. From the looks of it, it’s directed at him, and Woohyun blinks, looking around hoping for some clue as to what he’d missed. Hoya has his eyebrows raised, not useful at all, and Dongwoo’s even more distracted than Woohyun himself is, so that’s out. He’s trying to read Sungyeol’s lips (though he strongly suspects Sungyeol’s just telling him something useless to mess with him) when Sunggyu clears his thoat.

“I know I’m good-looking, but pay some attention to the questions, won’t you?”

It’s said with a too-wide smile, fake and plasticky, Sunggyu’s eyes staring holes into him like he’s hinting (coaxing, coercing) Woohyun play along. He swallows the awful feeling welling up in his throat, and plasters on a smile, lightly hitting Sunggyu’s shoulder.

(Fanservice.)

“How do you know I’m not just staring at myself in the monitoring screen?”

Woohyun’s not even sure what rubbish he had just sprouted, but Sunggyu, leader Sunggyu, head-screwed-on-right Sunggyu just makes a face, which could mean anything. And then –

“Well, you do look pretty good today, so…”

A shrug.

Woohyun’s not sure what that’s supposed to mean, so he looks away. Puts on his best face, shoots a warm grin at the interviewer and asks to repeat the question because he was distracted imagining how great it’ll be to meet all his girlfriends (read: fans) later.

No one really believes him (not even himself) but the interviewer does repeat the question, and they safely make it to the next one, which, thankfully, isn’t for Woohyun. Still, Sunggyu looks at him oddly through the rest of the interview. Woohyun pretends he doesn’t notice.

(Doesn’t notice more than he’s told to, anyway.)

Casual touches. Those used to be normal. Hugs too. Sometimes they were annoying, having to be embraced by a sweaty member when Woohyun himself was already hot and sticky under the strong stage lights. But most days they were acceptable, a part of his work routine, letting Dongwoo cop a feel of his as they move from venue to venue, letting Myungsoo hook an arm around his shoulder, all to the background soundtrack of wide-eyed squealing fangirls. He got used to the member’s touches, had to, partly due to necessity from back when they had to live together in small dorms and smaller rooms, and partly from being coaxed to play things up for the fangirls.

(Fanservice.)

He’s okay with those small touches on most days. Even the somewhat intrusive fingers of Dongwoo creeping too close to sensitive parts when he s his . Most of the time it’s in good fun; Dongwoo’s straight as a rod, and he doesn’t really mean anything by it. Myungsoo’s just a bit of a clinger, and that’s alright since Woohyun’s not usually the tree (harhar) to Myungsoo’s koala-arms, and anyway, Myungsoo’s not interested.

(Not the way some of them could be.)

Sungjong’s not too touchy in general, which is safe, comforting on top of the fact that he’s also staunchly straight, but he’s not often assigned to be next to Woohyun –

(“People don’t ship Woojong, it’s just not that popular.”)

And Sungyeol’s alright (even if not as straight as he’ll like to be) but there are days when he suddenly gets touchy for no reason and Woohyun’s not always prepared.

Hoya he doesn’t actively touch, nor the other him, which is good.  He had asked Howon why once, a long time ago, and the only reason he got was “It’s weird for you to touch girls with no context right? It’s the same for me with anyone, since I’m… you know.”

(“You know” being, potentially attracted to possibly anyone, Woohyun thinks, though Howon’s never really confirmed or rejected that whenever Woohyun gets drunk enough to contemplate asking. He never ever gets drunk enough to even consider telling Howon just how well he knows that feeling either.)

So yeah, casual touches. Woohyun’s mostly fine with them because even if he wasn’t an idol, he would have friends, some of whom would be guys and some of whom would casually touch him without thinking anything of it anyway. It’s not like they would think it weird to touch him casually the way they would never to a girl, no issues with propriety and all. But casual touches for fanservice, those are a different beast altogether. All of a sudden, Woohyun’s supposed to initiate it. Lightly a guy’s bicep. Backhugging a dude. Playing with each other’s hands during interviews. Things he’s always been careful to avoid doing, lest he gives people the wrong idea – wrong not because he thinks homouality is taboo even with Korea’s conservative standards, but wrong because he’s not attracted to these six guys that way and shouldn’t lead them on.

(Except, what if, just what if, that’s not true?)

The air-conditioning in the hotel is simultaneously too cold and too hot. Woohyun doesn’t know what to do with his blank