Donghae watched Eunhyuk's sleeping face curiously. After their short conversation, Eunhyuk had gone straight back to sleep and Donghae had simply stared at him, puzzled.

He had lied to his hyung. Donghae hadn't woken Eunhyuk because he was flailing, he woke him because of the words and sounds coming from his mouth. Eunhyuk's face had been flushed, his face shiny with a thin layer of sweat, and he had been softly under his breath. inappropriate things like "T-There," and "Harder," and other sultry things like that. But what has really shocked him was his own name coming from Eunhyuk's lips. Donghae had just been about to shake his friend awake due to the tightening of his jeans, when he heard the soft voice murmur his name.

"D-Donghae..." Eunhyuk had sighed out, a small smile gracing his features. The younger man had simply frozen, his hand hovering above Eunhyuk's shoulder, startled at the sudden development.

Did Eunhyuk like him?

~ ~ ~

After Eunhyuk finally woke from his nap at the end of study-hall, disappointed about his dreams not continuing where they left off, he and Donghae made their way off the college campus and down the road to their shared apartment. Eunhyuk was a little apprehensive about going in there with Donghae after his...graphic dream that took place there. He was worried that he would act awkward and that his roommate would suspect something.

When they got to their door, Donghae waited silently while Eunhyuk fumbled through his backpack pocket for his key, Donghae having forgotten his that morning. He sneaked a peek at Donghae over his shoulder. His dongsaeng had been unusually quiet on the walk home. Typically, they talked about their lecturer's horrible toupee that slid off whenever he turned his head, or that strange Chinese couple that always made out between classes. It was never completely silent.

"Is everything okay Hae?" Eunhyuk asked tentatively. Donghae's eyes snapped up from the ground and locked on his. "Donghae? What's wro-" He wasn't able to finish his sentence however. He was cut off by the younger's lips on his, pressing him back into the door he had not yet unlocked.

Eunhyuk's eyes were wide open, staring ahead, unseeing as Donghae kissed him. For a moment he got a mysterious sense of deja vu. His heart swelled up at the feeling of Donghae's lips moving against his, his hands on his waist, and the possibilities. Did Donghae know how Eunhyuk felt about him? Did he feel the same? It could mean anything, but what Eunhyuk was most concerned with was the fact that he was definitely not dreaming this time.

Slowly, Eunhyuk raised his arms to twine them around the taller man's neck, holding him closer to his body. "Donghae..." He sighed into the kiss, immensely happy. That happiness what short lived however when Donghae suddenly pulled away with a torn expression dominating his features, his brow severely creased in thought.

"Do you love me Hyukjae?" Donghae asked, his tone a bit harsh.

Eunhyuk flinched a bit at the biting tone of voice, but then smiled. "Yes I do, I've loved you since we first met. D- Do you love me?"

Silence.

Not a reassuring sign.

Eunhyuk's smile slowly faded, his heart faltering a bit. "Donghae, do you love me?" He asked again, his arms going limp around the other's neck. Donghae looked away, his eyes flickering from side to side in thought. His face scrunched in concentration, not noticing the tears pooling in Eunhyuk's eyes.

Donghae tore away from Eunhyuk, leaving him with his arms slightly outstretched towards him and went for the stairs to go down to the ground floor. He stopped just before he descended the stairs. "I...I need some time, I..." Donghae looked back at Eunhyuk for a split second and looked away quickly, stunned by the tears now pouring down his hyung's cheeks.

Then he was gone. Donghae fled down the stairs and out onto the street, leaving Eunhyuk alone and confused. He collapsed onto the floor against his door, unable to hold back the heart-wrenching sobs that rocked his body on the floor. Eunhyuk came to the realization that he was alone. He hadn't been alone for six years, Donghae had always been there for him when he cried or when he was angry. He was his rock.

But now that rock was gone.

And he was broken.

~ ~ ~

Donghae had been gone for three weeks now.

21 days. 504 hours. 30,240 minutes. 1,814,400 seconds.

Eunhyuk had been alone for three weeks.

At first, Eunhyuk had texted, called, or both every single day asking if Donghae was okay, begging for just one response, just one returned call so he would know he was still alive. But he got nothing.

So he gave up. He gave up trying so hard to contact his friend. He gave up hoping that Donghae would come back to him.

He was a shell of his former self. He hadn't seen any of his friends in all that time, and eventually, they stopped trying to see him, stopped calling. Eunhyuk hadn't eaten more than one meal a day since Donghae left, and even that was only cup ramen, rarely the whole cup. Eunhyuk left his apartment early every morning for college and went straight home after, laying on Donghae's bed and crying himself to sleep silently. That was his life, that's how he lived alone.

Soon, Eunhyuk's grades started dropping dangerously low. The lecturer with the toupee had noticed his once dedicated students immediate decline and spoke to him one day.

"Eunhyuk, we both know that you haven't been trying in my class." The lecturer said, sitting at his desk in his office. Eunhyuk sat across from him, his once bright, lively eyes now dull and empty as he stared at the wood of the desk. He said nothing. The lecturer frowned. "Eunhyuk, you're in danger of flunking out of college." Slowly, Eunhyuk raised his eyes, staring at the man. The lecturer noticed then that Eunhyuk had lost lots of weight. His face was gaunt and thin, his skin pale, and his clothes hung off his frame loosely, looking like they were about the fall off of him. He leaned forward towards the young man. "Eunhyuk, you're smart. I know you're better than this. And because I know that, I'm going to give you another chance. Write me a research paper about..."

Eunhyuk wasn't listening anymore. He dropped his head back down and willed the tears away. What did school matter? Donghae, the love of his life and the only one who knew him completely, was gone and he wasn't coming back. What was the point in trying in school? He didn't care about anything anymore.

Later, Eunhyuk walked home alone, like he had been doing for three long weeks. While he was walking, he passed the convenience store that he and Donghae had always gone to after classes ended on Fridays to buy snacks for their weekly movie night. He remembered staying up late until they eventually fell asleep, their heads leaning together. It gave them painful necks in the morning, but that was still how it went every week, regardless. Tears started falling again as he passed the store. They were becoming such a normal occurrence that he hardly noticed them anymore.

After he finally reached his apartment, Eunhyuk went straight to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

The misery he had experienced left him looking tired and half dead, but he didn't care. He was dead on the inside. He lived for no one, for nothing. Eunhyuk lowered his head to his arm, covered by his long sleeves. He pulled the left one up to his elbow, staring motionlessly at the network of scars and cuts that littered the once soft, unblemished skin. Eunhyuk broke just then.

Why was he alive? Why couldn't he just die already and escape the constant knife buried deep in his heart? Why couldn't the pain just go away? Tears dripped onto the counter as he reached for the razor that had become his solace, his only friend, his eternal companion in this time of despair.

"Donghae...why did you leave me here alone?" Eunhyuk whispered to himself, raising the blade to his wrists. "Why don't you love me as much as I love you?" He let the sobs out, not trying to hold them back at all.

Just as he was about to slice open his left wrist, someone darted into the bathroom and grabbed his hand, the razor clattering to the floor. Eunhyuk looked down at it in confusion. Who had done that? Who had interrupted his last moments of life?

"Hyukkie...what have you done to yourself?"

Eunhyuk froze. That voice. It couldn't be.

He turned his head and his heart broke at what he saw there.

"D...Donghae...?" His voice trembled along with his hand as he reached out slowly to touch his fingertips to Donghae's cheek. "Is it r-really you?"

Donghae couldn't believe the change in Eunhyuk over the three week he'd been away. He was so thin he looked like he would fall apart at any moment and the scars and healing cuts all over his arms made tears fall down Donghae's cheeks. "Hyukkie, I'm so sorry, I was stupid, I shouldn't have run away and left you alone, I just needed to think-"

Eunhyuk sobbed loudly and clung to Donghae's body, burying his face in the wide expanse of the other man's chest. "D-Don't you ever l-l-leave m-me again!" He cried, his body shaking with the force of his sobs. Donghae's heart broke for his hyung, and he wrapped his arms tightly around him, his hair.

"Sshhh Hyukkie, it's okay, I'm here now." Very gently, he pulled Eunhyuk's reddened face from his chest and planted a sweet kiss on his forehead. He stared into the tear-filled eyes. "I wont ever leave you alone again, I promise." And then he kissed him, a chaste, loving kiss that said more than anything. Once they broke apart, Eunhyuk was crying again.

"Donghae," He whispered. "Do you love me?"

Donghae the tear-stained cheeks with his thumbs and kissed him again. "Yes I do Hyukjae. I love you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that time. I was confused by my own feelings and I was a coward. I spent three lonely weeks in a crappy hotel room thinking about my petty feelings." He rested his forehead on Eunhyuk's. "It took me that long to realize that it's always been you. All along."

Eunhyuk couldn't speak through his tears. "Hyukkie," Donghae whispered, smiling lovingly. "Do you love me?"

"Yes, yes I love you so much...I've always loved you!" Eunhyuk leaned up and kissed Donghae again and again, tears still streaming. "Now Donghae?"

"Yes?"

"Tell me you love me...one more time..."