One Last Chance

How long does it take to forget someone? How long does it take for that one person who owned your heart to leave it completely without any thing left? 1 month? 2 months? Perhaps eternity? Oh wait, it still stays there, like the wind, gently caressing you only to leave you broken and shattered again. They never leave. Once you’ve loved someone truly with your whole heart, they never leave. No matter how hard you try to forget them, they always come back like the aroma of coffee, or the first drops of rain after a hot sultry weather.

He always came back, maybe not to me, but he always came back. The first time I saw him, it was in kindergarten. He was my best friend at that time. But he left saying that his parents were moving somewhere far. He left and I didn’t hold him back. The second time I saw him was in middle school. He came back to our school as the kid genius. We were friends but there was always something missing between us. He left again saying he was going to study in America. Again he left and I didn’t hold him back. I would lie if I say that I didn’t miss him. I did but there was no way to hold him back. He belonged to the world after all. He was everyone’s yet he belonged to no one. The last time he returned was when I was in college. He came back as the famous kid genius who was too cute to be true. Although he rebuffed that completely and I might like to warn you that he may punch you if you don’t stop. But he is really cute and I would be really thankful if you don’t inform him. I’m really scared to lose my life. Anyways as I was saying, we were best friends again. But unfortunately it turned out that I harbored much deeper feelings for him, although he never knew about it. I mean I wanted to confess and maybe he would have accepted it too but he left. He not only left the college, but he left the world. Ah.. I almost forgot to introduce myself. I am Byun Baekhyun and this is my story. Would you like to listen?

I woke up with the same headache which’s been haunting me for the last three days. I groaned and rolled over my bed. I slowly got up and started with my usual morning routines. After 15 minutes, I was dressed decently for my cafe and walked towards the kitchen for a cup of coffee. My house feels really cold these days even though it’s middle of June. Maybe because that one person is missing. I looked around while sipping my coffee. His chair is still there as it used to be. His bookshelves are still organized and his room is just like the way he left it. He is gone, but he is still everywhere. Some days I still feel that he would come out of his room and smack my head for no apparent reasons. I used to get angry at that but nowadays I really miss it. “I miss you Kyungsoo – ah..” I said as a sad smile spread across my lips. Kyungsoo is gone and it’s been almost 2 years.

I went to my cafe as usual and as soon as I stepped in I was greeted with the booming voice of none other than Park Chanyeol. “Baekhyun! Can you please tell Sehun that I really tried hard to beat that ball but it always hit me back” Chanyeol said with a pout. “Of course hyung, you tried your best” Sehun replied with smirking. Minseok hyung appeared from the kitchen followed by Yixing hyung and Junmeyon hyung. Three of them sighed in unison and Sehun rolled his eyes. “Where’s Jongdae?” I asked. Minseok hyung walked towards the counter and said “Dae went to collect the coffee beans with Jongin. They’ll be back in an hour or so…” I nodded as I started walking towards my office which was situated inside. “He is terribly quite today…” I heard Junmyeon hyung say. “The day is approaching soon… I wonder if he’ll be alright…” Chanyeol sighed.

I sat on my desk and started doing some paper work. The day Kyungsoo died is in 3 days and no matter how hard I try, I always become silent in the end. I leaned back on my chair and thought about it. If we didn’t fight that day, if he didn’t rush out that day, if I controlled my ego that day, maybe just maybe he would have been here with me. Maybe he would have been sitting here and lecturing me about why I shouldn’t neglect my work. It’s entirely my fault. I really wish I had one more chance to correct my mistakes. I sighed as tears prickled my eyes. I shook my head a little and started working on my papers again. It was around late noon when I decided to give myself a break. I got up and left the café to wander down the streets of Samcheong – dong. It was busy as usual, mostly filled with the hipster teenage crowds and coffee lovers. I walked down the streets while greeting some acquaintances when suddenly someone grabbed me by my arm. I turned around to see a small lady whose hair was almost silver and she was wearing baggy clothes. She looked old but not too elderly. She smiled at me softly and said “You are lucky my son… if you try hard enough... He may just give you what you want…” I stared at her with a confused look when someone else bumped into me. I turned around to look but there was no one. When I turned back to look at that lady, she was nowhere.

I felt a sudden shiver running through my body and decided to head back to my office immediately. When I reached the café, I was panting a bit because I almost ran. I could still feel that lady’s smile lingering behind my back. For some reason I found that lady downright scary. I felt Minseok hyung eyeing me cautiously but I ignored it and walked straight to my office. These days weird things keep happening with me. I took a deep breath to calm myself down and started working again. It was late at night when I finally got off work. I ate dinner in the café and then went back home. My home or should I say the place where I just sleep, was as usual, cold. Without looking anywhere I went straight to my room and dozed off.

The next morning I woke with the sweet smell of pancakes. I rolled on my bed again, thinking that my neighbors were finally having something other than ramen. Kyungsoo used to like pancakes a lot. A sad smile spread across my lips as I remembered him smiling like kid. Suddenly I felt a warm touch on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Kyungsoo frowning at me. This must be a really good dream. I smiled at him. “I missed you…” I whispered as I reached out to touch him. All of a sudden, several smacks landed on my torso and I almost shrieked at the gesture. I quickly got up and looked around my room only to scream in pure horror because in the middle of my room, Do Kyungsoo was standing with his unfazed expression. “What is wrong with you?” he asked. I immediately jumped off my bed and started running out of my room screaming “Ghost! GHOST! SAVE ME! HELP ME!” He followed me and gave me a confused yet amused look. “What is wrong with you Baekhyun? Did you hit your head somewhere?” he asked with his usual stoic persona. There is only way to live Byun Baekhyun. Beg for mercy. Do it and shallow your pride. The spirit of Do Kyungsoo has arrived to smack the life out of you. I immediately got on my knees and started rubbing my palms together. “Please forgive me the spirit of Do Kyungsoo… I know I called him cute a lot and I know I messed with his room a lil but I promise I won’t do anything to anger you more. Please let me live!!” I pleaded. He gave me a stoic look and then started to laugh his off.

I gave him a 'scared as hell' look and he again burst out laughing. He took few steps closer and got down on my eye level. “I don’t know what you ate wrong but looks like you have finally lost that tiny bit brain of yours” he said with smirk and got up. I eyed him as he walked back towards the counter. “I made pancakes… so eat up…” he said as he grabbed his plate. “Wait… you’re real? But that can’t be possible…you…” I muttered in disbelief. He shook his head in a disapproving manner and sat on the dining table. I sprang up and ran down out of the flat in my nightwear because I was scared as hell. I was panting heavily when I noticed that same mop of silver hair around the alley. Before I could call out to her, someone tapped on my shoulder. I turned around and it was that weird lady. I stumbled back few steps and looked at her in complete shock. “Oh it’s you…” she said smiling. “Looks like he has given you a second chance… Use it well son...” she said patting my shoulder. “Second chance?” I asked. “You know what I’m talking about… It’s your last chance…” she said and leaned a little close to whisper in my ear. “3 weeks… Save him… If you can…” and then she just disappeared into thin air.

I walked back home and saw Kyungsoo stuffing his backpack with books. I instantly ran towards him and pulled him in a tight hug. He tried to fight me off but I held him tighter and buried my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. “Yah… What is wrong with you? You’re acting weird…” he said rubbing my back. “I missed you Kyungsoo… I missed you so freaking much…” I said. he chuckled and said “We just talked last night… now let me go… we are getting late for collage” he said trying to move away. “Just 5 minutes more…” I pleaded as I held him tighter, thinking that if I lose my hold, he might disappear into thin air. He stood silently while I held him tight in my embrace. This time I won’t let you go away Kyungsoo. This time I won’t do anything that I’m going to regret. This time I’ll definitely save you.

 “Baekhyun we have exactly 15 minutes before we are late for Professor Park’s class” he said and then shoved me away. “Professor Park? We finished college… I mean I finished college…” I said scratching my head in confusion. “What the hell are you talking about? We still have a year to graduate. Now get your moving” he said before walking towards the toilet. I looked around and saw that the house looked different. The color of the living room was green and not white. But I definitely painted it after he died. “Kyungsoo… what’s the date today?” I asked. “May 10” he said from the toilet. “Which year?” I asked getting more confused because apparently it was supposed to be May 31^st. “Its 2015. For god sake what is wrong with you?!” he asked with a mouth full of foam. I blinked in utter confusion because now I’m getting what actually happened. Apparently he didn’t come back to me, I travelled back into the past to save him.

I was lounging in the cafeteria while thinking how it was possible. I travelled back in past but how? I didn’t step anywhere nor did I have some weird time machine. I think there is something that I need to correct here; maybe that’s why I am here. “What are you thinking so hard?” Kyungsoo asked. I looked up and smiled at him. He gave me a blank look and sat down. We ate in silence but I could see him stealing glances at me. I was about to get up when Kyungsoo said “”Um… Baek…my grandma is coming…. So I was thinking that if you are free can we go pick up some gifts for her?”. He looked nervous. Before I could reply Chanyeol came, b with excitement and said “Baek lets go to bowling! We gotta defeat those bratty juniors!”. I looked at Kyungsoo and he tried to hide his disappointment. I remember now that I chose Chanyeol’s offer instead. I smiled at Chanyeol and said “Sorry Yeollie… Gotta help my Kyung with some issue”. Chanyeol gave me a nod and went back. Kyungsoo gave me a puzzled look but then he smiled his best heart shaped smile. “I thought you were gonna go with him…” he said. “Nope… Now let’s go and pick out the best gift for your grandma.” I replied as I pulled him up from his chair.

We roamed the mall for 3 hours and then settled on a dark magenta scarf. After that we window shopped and then ate ice cream while we walked back to our house. he placed the bag on the counter and went to the toilet while I flopped down on the sofa. I think I’m getting the idea of this miracle. There must have been a wrong move somewhere which led him to die. I just need find it and correct it and then maybe, maybe he will stay alive. Right now, all I got to do is, stick to him like a clingy koala. BYUN KOALA BAEKHYUN:  MODE ON. “Baekhyun what do you want to eat for dinner?” he asked from the kitchen. I walked towards him and said with my best smile “Whatever you cook Chef Kyungsoo”.

The first week passed easily. We hanged out a lot and I was sticking to him like glue. He got annoyed at times and tried to shove me away but when Baekhyun is in koala mode, you know he is not gonna leave you alone. I remember that I ignored him a lot before he passed away and that’s why, this time I’m not going to be away from him, even for a minute. “Seriously Baekhyun why are you so clingy all of a sudden?” he asked one day while searching for some books in library. Usually I would ran away at the mention of library but since my Kyung is here, I’m gonna be here too. “Me? I’m just following you” I said nonchalantly.  “And why is that?” he asked turning to look at me. “I don’t know… Maybe because you’re attractive and I like you?” I said flipping through some books. Suddenly the area became dead silent and I felt tension in the air. I turned to look at Kyungsoo and saw that he was totally red faced. “What?” I asked with a puzzled look. He threw his book towards me and stormed off muttering “Always joking about stuff. Idiot!!!”

 The second week things got a little hasty. After that library incident, he was avoiding me at all costs. No matter how hard I tried to catch him, he just slipped away like sand. The only words he spoke were ‘yes’, ‘no’ and ‘thank you’. I really can’t understand what is wrong with him. I sighed as put down my head on the table. I was looking at cafeteria when Sehun’s face blocked my view. He mirrored my action and let out a sigh. “Are you trying to listen to the table’s heartbeat hyung?” he asked. “Sehun… what is wrong with Kyungsoo?” I asked as I let out another sigh. He sat up and looked at me with a half smile. “Why do you ask?” he said mischievously. “He’s been avoiding me like plague. We don’t have much time… if this keeps going on… I’ll lose him again…” I said dejectedly. “Well, he’s acting weird lately… you know I heard from Chanyeol hyung…” he leaned in closer to whisper as those words perked up my ears. “Chanyeol hyung said that Kyungsoo hyung likes someone but it is one sided” he said. “One sided?” I asked, intrigued. “Yeah… but Chanyeol hyung doesn’t know who it is… you know he wished it was him” he said while laughing. Kyungsoo has a one sided love? But he never told me.

3 days and Kyungsoo was nowhere. He just disappeared into thin air. I was becoming more frantic because I can’t lose him second time. The 3^rd week already started and the day he passed away was just around the corner. I have to find him no matter what. Please Kyungsoo please just stay safe, that’s all I want. I went to the library again and started searching through every row. Just as I was about to give up, I saw him tucked around the corner, reading something. I don’t know if it was out of rage or pure instinct but as soon as I saw him I grabbed him by his collar and pulled him up. He looked horrified and asked “What are yo...” but before he could finish his sentence I cut him off as I crushed our mouths together. When he realized what I was doing he shoved me away and stared at me in complete shock. Suddenly I realized what I did and I stepped back in regret. “Kyung….I….. I’m sorry” I blurted out and instantly ran away from him.

The next morning, a day before he passed away, I saw Kyungsoo talking with Chanyeol. Chanyeol looked really nervous and he was fidgeting nonstop. I saw from the corner of my eyes, that Jongin was glaring at them. “Jongin… What’s wrong?” I asked. “Nothing hyung.” He replied and walked out of the cafeteria, huffing angrily. Later Kyungsoo came to me and sat at the table and he looked kind of distracted for some reason. “Baekhyun do you remember the investor we talked to, regarding our café?” he asked looking at me. I nodded as I drank some water. “He asked for a meeting today. Do you have time?” he asked cautiously. I nodded again in agreement. After lunch, we went to the investor, who was supposedly our senior named Kim Minseok. We discussed the details for the café and went over the cost of production and how we should approach the banks for loan. This café was actually Kyungsoo’s dream but he decided to share it with me. I glanced at Kyungsoo and saw that he was fond of Minseok hyung. The way his lips quirked and his eyebrows were raised, he definitely liked Minseok hyung. I felt a pang of jealousy as well as pride because just from seeing his expression, I can clearly tell that whom he liked and whom he didn’t. After the meeting, we went back to college and Kyungsoo rushed off to his last class. I was wandering down the corridor when I saw Jongdae rushing towards me. “Baek! Baek! Did you hear it?” he said excitedly. “What?” I asked, clearly clueless. “Chanyeol finally asked Kyungsoo out! They are going out tomorrow. Chanyeol was…” Jongdae kept on blabbering about Chanyeol but I was completely tuned out. I remember now. This is exactly what happened last time. I must save him this time, no matter what.

I couldn’t sleep all night. I tossed and turned as anticipation, horror, and nervousness dawned upon me. As the first rays of sunlight hit my face, I got up and walked towards the living room and decided to wait for Kyungsoo. I won’t let him get out of the house no matter what.

After few minutes, I suddenly started feeling sleepy and just dozed off on the sofa. Later I was awoken by the shuffling sound of Kyungsoo. I got up and looked at him. He looked awfully handsome in his black pants and white shirts which were rolled to show off his arms. “Where are you going?” I asked as I rubbed my eyes. “I’m going out.” He said combing his hair. “I know you are going out with Chanyeol. He asked you out last day.” I said as I stood up from my seat. “So?” he asked pointedly. “You can’t go. I won’t let you leave.” I said authoritatively. “You can’t stop me Baekhyun. It’s my life…” he said with a scoff. “Your life is my life too Kyungsoo. You can’t go! I won’t let you!” I said as I walked towards him, almost cornering him against the wall. “You’re always like this Baekhyun! I can’t handle you anymore! You pull me back only to push me away! Do you think this is a joke Baekhyun? I can’t handle my feelings anymore if you keep behaving like this…” he said in an almost pleading tone. I tried to hug him but he shoved me away. “We are nothing Baekhyun… So please… Please stop leading me” he said and looked me in the eye and started to walk away. Before he could go away I pulled him in a back hug. “I’m sorry Kyungsoo but I can’t let you go. Not today, not ever. I like you, no I love you. I have always loved you so please, please don’t go...” I begged. He froze in his spot as I held him close to me. “You had all the time in the world and this is how you confess…” he said sniffling as he pushed me away and walked out of the door. I slumped against the wall as tears pooled in my eyes. This is it. I got the second chance but I still couldn’t save him. Suddenly I heard a loud screeching noise and then several shouts. I immediately sprang up and ran downstairs as fast as possible. When I walked out of the door, I saw the scene I hated the most. I stepped back in horror as I saw Kyungsoo lying in a pool of blood. No… this can’t be happing again. I ran towards him and cradled him in my arms. “You can’t leave me Kyungsoo! I won’t let you go! You can’t leave me again! Kyungsoo!!” I yelled as tears streamed down my face. he looked at me and smiled. “You’re an idiot Baekhyun…”he whispered as he closed his eyes.

I gasped as I woke up. Beads of perspiration were visible on my forehead. I touched my cheeks as I noticed the wetness from the tears. Tears started streaming from my eyes as I remembered everything. I couldn’t save him. Even though I was given the last chance, I couldn’t save him. I’m such an idiot. I hate myself. I was drowning in self loathing, when I heard footsteps in the living room. I got up slowly and walked towards the living room. I almost stepped back in disbelief when I saw the person standing there combing his hair. I immediately walked towards him and pulled him in a tight embrace. “What happened?” Kyungsoo asked after some time. I pulled away and looked at him. He was real, living and alive. “I thought I lost you Soo” I said as I tried to hold back my tears. He chuckled and ruffled my hair and leaned close to whisper “I never left Idiot. I was always here, right beside you.” I smiled at him and pulled him again in a tight hug. Thank you Kyungsoo, for giving me one last chance.

P.S. Credit to the owner for this amazing fanart.

P.P.S. I Do Not Own Any Of The Pictures Used Here.