For the first twenty-one years of her life, Seulgi wonders if she's just not cut out for love. She's a full year into adulthood (and finally recognized legally around the world as no longer a minor), yet she still has a clean wrist. By eighteen, most statistically average people have at least two red marks on their wrists, signifying having fallen in love at least twice with two different people.

So how the hell does Seulgi still have none?

She can't seem to find the answer to that question either. Seulgi would be lying if she said that she hasn't dated around, trying to find "the one." Hell, she's been with plenty of girls ever since she found out that she leaned towards people of the same gender. She's a pretty damn popular choreographer who's got her name on dances and her face in music videos everywhere, in all forms of entertainment. Of course there have been plenty of females more than willing to hang out with someone like her.

What really , though, is the fact that Seulgi has left her mark on so many people, so many girls, but no one has managed to leave a mark on her. And so it's rather heartbreaking and incredibly unfair when she notices how a girl she's been sleeping with suddenly has a new red line in the morning after the act, but then it's been five months since they've started dating and it's pretty obvious that Seulgi's never going to get that mark. She tries to let them down easy, but it's so damn hard to not feel ridiculous levels of guilt, even as they cry and say it's not your fault, Seulgi.

It's hard not to enter each new relationship with her hopes high, because what else can she do but pray that she's not going to spend the rest of eternity by herself?

--

It starts like this.

Seulgi gets asked to choreograph Red Velvet's newest comeback, and she's equal parts thrilled and terrified. On one hand, she's got a chance to prove her worth in the world of choreographers after two years of creating cover dances, teaching classes at her dance studio, and dancing back-up. On the other hand, it's freaking SM Entertainment, so she better not mess-the-hell-up.

She enters the company building with an open heart, and she's getting shown around by Kasper, of all people (Seulgi's a part of the same dance studio as the EXO choreographer, and he'd taken a shine to her from the get-go). He brings her to the correct practice room that had been mentioned in SM's email to her, and Seulgi heaves a deep breath and enters.

She doesn't know what to expect, but it isn't Bae Irene.

--

It's a custom for people to shake each other's hands with their left hand, since it's generally a polite thing to do, and it provides an opportunity to see how many lines each person has on their wrists. For most people, these customary greetings are fine and normal. For Seulgi, not so much— not having fallen in love even once isn't exactly something to celebrate.

To her greatest delight, none of the Red Velvet girls comment on Seulgi's blank wrist as she shakes each of their hands in turn. She notices that each of them have a line or more, with even the maknae Yeri sporting two red tally marks of her own. Instead, the majority of the members are giggly, fascinatingly enough, as they grab at Seulgi's hand, their curious eyes bearing into her figure.

Irene is different. She looks at Seulgi's untainted skin with true interest in her gaze, and she gives Seulgi a contemplative look with a soft smile— not out of pity, but what appears to be something akin to admiration (Seulgi's a bit confused by this one).

"You're kinda lucky," Irene states as the other members (Wendy, Joy, and Yeri) stand back and talk excitedly amongst themselves, and Seulgi raises an eyebrow.

"Sorry?" Seulgi's genuinely baffled by the sentence. She motions to her line-less wrist. "Were you referring to this thing?"

Irene giggles but nods. "Yeah. You're pretty lucky."

"I am?" Seulgi stutters, not knowing how to respond to something like that, especially since Irene has three lines on her own left wrist and there's no way she regrets falling in love those times, right?

"Yeah," Irene says again, shrugging, a sheepish smile dancing across her lips. "Love is complicated. You're lucky to have never had to experience the complexity yet. Planning on keeping it that way?"

"I've never looked at it that way," Seulgi admits, furrowing her brow. "People usually give me a lot of for not having any red lines. I mean, I hope to fall in love one day, but, uh..."

Irene laughs, and it sounds like a fairy's laugh, if fairies actually exist (and Seulgi's about 65% sure that they do, although now it's more along the lines of 75%, because Irene must be descended from a race of fairies or something). She can't help but notice how pretty Irene's eyes are, and maybe keeping a clean wrist will be somewhat of a challenge this time around.

--

Seulgi had thought wrong.

It's been a week of rehearsing with Red Velvet, and nothing. No development. Well, no romantic development, to be more precise. Nothing romantic between Seulgi or a Red Velvet member, and certainly not with Irene. Still no red mark on her wrist. And she's not even trying. Seulgi should've known better than to hope too much. 

There's definitely a quickly-developed friendship between Seulgi and the girl group, though.

It begins during the first session, when Seulgi learns that she's the same age as Wendy, and the five girls hit things off from there. Suddenly, Seulgi's close friends with Wendy, and she's Joy and Yeri's "favorite unnie," and Irene watches and giggles at their antics before inviting Seulgi out to dinner with them after rehearsal.

Needless to say, Seulgi and Red Velvet get along absolutely swimmingly, or even more so, and by the end of dinner, she's getting mothered by Wendy, and Joy and Yeri are trying to convince their manager to adopt Seulgi into the group (to limited effect, obviously, but the thought is endearing. Seulgi doesn't think that she could be a full-time idol).

Meanwhile, Seulgi finds out that she can openly tease Irene and the older girl will blush and lightly hit her, but not protest, much to Seulgi's delight. She's always been at the receiving end of jokes, and although Seulgi's rather good-natured about it, it's nice to be able to banter so amicably with Irene. The older girl's laugh is a big plus factor.

"You're spoiling them," Irene exclaims as Seulgi and Red Velvet hang out one night, after one of the later rehearsal sessions where Seulgi taught the girls the dance breakdown of the choreography. Seulgi knows that the dance moves are physically taxing, and she'd persuaded the members into going their hardest by agreeing to pay for an arcade game session after rehearsal.

Seulgi laughs, watching the younger members run around between game machines. "You're just mad that the claw machine dropped the stuffed toy just as you were about to win it."

Irene pouts, crossing her arms cutely, looking ever-so less like Red Velvet's responsible leader and more like a five-year-old that had been cheated by their older sibling.

"That stupid thing was rigged," Irene mutters under her breath, and Seulgi lets out another chime of laughter.

"Here," Seulgi says, reaching out to grab Irene's left wrist without thinking much of the action. She misses the way that Irene's stare lingers briefly on Seulgi's hold on her before allowing the younger girl to pull her over to a claw machine.

"Watch me," Seulgi instructs, a smug smile on her face as she inserts the correct amount of change into the machine.

Irene watches in awe as Seulgi expertly navigates the claw contraption to hover over a cute plush bunny. A few seconds later, the white bunny is physically in Seulgi's grasp and she's grinning at Irene from ear to ear and man, Seulgi looks like a baby bear.

She seems to snap herself out of her thoughts as Seulgi comically waves the plushie in front of Irene's face, the ears flopping around, and then Irene is just gaping at the choreographer in shock.

"How did you do that," Irene demands, and Seulgi chuckles.

"I've spent a lot of time in arcades over the years," the younger girl shrugs. "Whenever I wanted to hang out with friends, I went to an arcade. Whenever I got frustrated because things weren't going my way, I went to an arcade. Whenever I wanted to impress someone, I went to an arcade. There's a lot of reasons to come to an arcade."

Irene slowly nods. "I can see why." Then she sighs, staring longingly at the plush rabbit. "I wish I was good enough to win one of those."

Seulgi smiles, pushing the rabbit into Irene's hands. "It's yours, silly. I've won plenty of toys, and I've got no need for more. Plus, this thing is cute, just like you. You're a cute bunny, Irene."

With wide eyes, Irene hides her red face in the fur of the rabbit toy, and Seulgi gets the urge to pick Irene up, bring her home, and keep her there.

--

The article saying that Irene's dating Winner's Mino is released two days later.

To Seulgi, the news isn't anything new. Irene had admitted that she was dating someone over one of Seulgi's dinners with Red Velvet, and the older girl had voiced concerns about getting caught, but ultimately had been fine if she was forced to go public. Seulgi had said that forcing idols to admit to dating shouldn't be a thing that magazines like Dispatch have the power to do. Irene had said that she really couldn't do anything about it if they were caught.

Seulgi really shouldn't feel the way she does.

The thing is, it's the first time that Seulgi's ever actually seen a picture of Irene with Mino. It's the first time that Seulgi's actually associated Irene with someone other than herself and Red Velvet.

It makes her stomach churn and Seulgi can't pin down the reason why.

Her left wrist is still blank, after all.

(But it might have something to do with how in the candid photos released, Irene and Mino are pictured on a date at an arcade.)

--

"He couldn't win me anything," Irene says to Seulgi over the phone. Her voice is teasing and light-hearted, but Seulgi still wonders if the underlying tone beneath is just her imagination or not. "He won some racing games, but he's not good at the claw machine."

"Good," Seulgi finds herself saying. It's like she won something. What that something is, Seulgi doesn't know. But it feels like a victory. "I'll need some way to keep you impressed with me."

Irene giggles.

"Oh, Seulgi. I'm more impressed by you than you'll ever know."

--

The choreography and preparations for the comeback are finally complete, and Red Velvet's new single is released to smashing success, hitting number 1 on all of the music charts, just like Seulgi had assured them it would.

She calls Irene just to say "I told you so," and their conversation ends with Irene making Seulgi promise to watch as many of their music show performances as she possibly can. Seulgi promises that she'll try to watch live, but she'll record them all on her DVR just in case she has to miss one or two of them.

Regardless, it's nearly midnight, but Seulgi still finds herself sitting in some upscale restaurant in the heart of Seoul. She's squished next to Irene and across from Wendy, Joy, and Yeri, amongst other members of Red Velvet's promotion team that Seulgi had been hastily introduced to before being swept up in the excitement.

And even though they've literally been texting each other on the hour, with Irene updating Seulgi on all of Red Velvet's exciting activities in real time, Seulgi still eagerly listens to Irene recount her favorite parts of a promotional cycle.

"I love interacting with the fans the most," Irene's eyes sparkle, and Seulgi wouldn't mind seeing that look in her eyes for the rest of her life. "I know I'm not the most social out of all of us," the older girl tosses an adoring look towards the rest of her members, "but still, I love simply being around the fans. Something about walking into Music Bank with the best fans in the world waving at you, smiling and genuinely happy to see you, really gets you, I suppose."

Seulgi nods, smiling. "As a hardcore ReVeLuv," she begins, and chuckles as Irene shoves her shoulder playfully. 

"No, really!" Seulgi insists as Irene rolls her eyes. "I can understand them, honestly! Irene, you have no idea how beautiful you look," Seulgi says breathlessly. "Especially when you get that look in your eyes— that look in your eyes when you talk about something you're passionate about. They— your eyes remind me of starlight."

Irene's eyes widen, and parts in a small 'o,' and god, she just looks so beautiful. Seulgi vaguely acknowledges the buzz of high tension energy around her, and it registers that she and Irene are still in a crowded room.

And it seems like Irene realizes it too, because she bites her lip, gingerly taking Seulgi's hand and gesturing for her to stand. There's something foreign in her eyes, and it makes Seulgi nervous.

"Come with me," Irene murmurs low into Seulgi's ear so that only the younger girl can hear her. "I want to get some air."

Seulgi nods wordlessly, complying without saying anything and standing up to follow Red Velvet's leader.

--

"Are we allowed to be up here?" Seulgi questions as Irene leads them out to the restaurant's rooftop. restaurant itself had already been high enough, a good thirty stories above city-level. The roof has a stunning view of Seoul's nightlife, and although she's still questioning if what they're doing is considered trespassing or not, Seulgi makes her way to the edge, leaning against the railing and taking in the air.

Behind her, Irene is in the middle of informing her that being out on the roof of a five-star restaurant is not, in fact, illegal, when the older girl gets cut off with the ringing of her phone.

Seulgi can tell by the initial greeting that it's Mino calling, and she willingly tunes their conversation out. Instead, she focuses her attention on the beautiful scenery, trying not to let her thoughts wonder to the girl standing ten feet behind her.

Three minutes later, Irene joins Seulgi at the railing.

Irene gently nudges Seulgi, a sorry expression having overtaken her features.

"Sorry about that," she apologizes, and Seulgi waves her off, saying that it's completely normal for a couple to want to congratulate each other.

"Yeah, I guess," Irene muses, more to herself than to Seulgi, and the choreographer lets it slide without another thought.

"I'm actually jealous," Seulgi finds herself saying, feeling a bit brave, but not brave enough. Irene casts her a curious glance, and Seulgi elaborates. "You've fallen in love three times already. Maybe you've even got a fourth time, because you and Mino look like you're doing well."

Irene doesn't say anything; just continues to give her encouragement in her gaze.

"I've tried so hard to fall in love," Seulgi confesses, staring emotionlessly at her blank, untainted arms. Irene frowns sadly, leaning over to rub Seulgi's shoulder. "So damn hard! I've dated so many girls; all wonderful, incredible human beings who honestly deserve the world and far better than hopeless me. Why couldn't I just fall in love with one of them? Honestly, I think if I were anyone else, I would've fallen for them. It's not like they were just random faces, each of them were special in their own way. I still remember every single person. So why? Why couldn't I fall in love with at least one of them?"

Irene shakes her head, her lips curving upwards in a soft, sympathetic smile. She gives Seulgi a glance before scooching over, closing the railing distance between them ever-so-slightly. "I don't know if I'm completely right, Seul, but as someone who's fallen in love three times, I know that love creeps up unexpectedly. You can't predict it. You can't go searching for it. The heart wants what it wants. You have to wait for love to come to you."

"And if I never fall in love?" Seulgi whispers, and Irene feels her heart drop as she watches Seulgi look brokenly over the city lights. "I know it's never happened before, but just what if? Or what if I fall in love, but the person I love doesn't love me back?"

"Then you'll go down in history as the single most influential, selfless person that everyone on this planet should be throwing their thanks to," Irene says, squeezing Seulgi's shoulder comfortingly. "I'll personally pass on your story and everything— a tale of the extent of the human heart, and what it means to give something up for the good of the world. Not feeling true romantic love so that everyone else can feel it."

Seulgi cracks a sincere smile at that. It's relatively small, but Irene really did make her feel better.

"Thank you, Irene."

"Anytime, Seulgi."

--

And it's then that Seulgi feels it. 

It's like she's been shocked with electricity, and her left wrist tingles from the jolt and—

Oh no.

"Seulgi?" Irene asks, peeking at the younger girl's face worriedly. Seulgi's face had suddenly gone deathly pale. "Are you okay?"

"I, uh, yeah!" Seulgi sputters far too enthusiastically, and Irene raises an eyebrow. "No, really! I am! I was just, uh, thinking about what would happen if I accidentally fell from this high up."

Irene's eyes comically enlarge. "That's an awful thought!"

"Yeah, I know right," Seulgi chuckles nervously, cracking her knuckles. "It's such a beautiful view though, right?"

Irene nods, looking back over at the city. Seulgi just continues to look at the outline of Irene's face against the illuminate cityscape. What a beautiful view...

She misses the way that Irene's hands momentarily clench into fists before relaxing; misses the subtle way that Irene tugs down the sleeve of her sweater, the way she passes it off as a shiver.

"Are you cold?" Seulgi asks, concerned. She hadn't missed the way Irene pulled her sweater closer to herself. "We should probably go back inside."

Irene nods. "Yeah, let's do that."

--

Seulgi goes home late at night (or incredibly early in the morning? Semantics.)

She pulls off her sweatshirt, and there it is.

Right there, smack dab in her left wrist, is a small, crimson tally mark.

Seulgi goes to sleep with thoughts about how life really . Really, really .

Because her hypothesis for the past twenty-one years is true:

Kang Seulgi really isn't cut out for love.

--

She still texts Irene the next day. It's like nothing has even changed.

At night, she watches Red Velvet's music program and the MCs are asking about the lyrics to their latest song. It's a love song; a really poetic one at that. And Seulgi dreams that she was the cause of the blush that tints Irene's cheeks pink.

--

Two days later, Dispatch releases some pictures.

Irene's got a ing fourth red tally mark on her wrist.

And she and Mino are on the ing front cover of the goddamn magazine.

Seulgi wants to cry herself to sleep, because she's come to the conclusion that love is all one big, twisted, wretched game that she wishes that she never took part in.

Nevertheless, she texts Irene her congratulations, and again, it's like nothing has even changed.

-- 

Irene asks for Seulgi to meet her at a cafe one night, as Red Velvet are approaching the end of their promotions. Seulgi wants to say no. She really does. But the thing is that it's Irene asking for her time in the middle of the night, and Seulgi can't say no to Irene, even after all this time. Her predicament really isn't Irene's fault, Seulgi reasons. Irene couldn't have made Seulgi not fall in love with her. That's (unfortunately) not how love works. And that's (unfortunately) not how the whole red marks thing works either.

Irene greets her with a tired, yet vibrant smile, and c'mon, how can Seulgi not smile back at that? It serves as a reminder of how utterly deep and in love Seulgi is with Irene, but again, it's not Irene's fault. She could never blame Irene for her own problems.

"I really wanted to see you," Irene says, her voice wispy and breathy, as if she'd just ran a marathon. Seulgi thinks it's endearing.

"I've missed you too, Irene," Seulgi says honestly, because it's true. Recently, Seulgi's been suffering from  a very Irene-shaped hole in her heart. 

"Truthfully," Irene scuffs her shoe into the tiled floor sheepishly as they wait for their drinks at the 24-hour cafe, "I didn't really have any other reason for calling you out other than the fact that I wanted to see you. You're, um... You've become my best friend, Seulgi— other than my members, that is. You keep me grounded, and I really like the feeling. Sorry for calling you out so late, though."

"You're my best friend too." Seulgi allows the smile on her face to grow. "And I'm glad you did."

This is nice, Seulgi decides, as she and Irene roam the empty streets of Seoul in the cool, summer night air, steaming cups of coffee in their hands as they stroll under the moonlight.

She thinks that she can stand simply being Irene's best friend if she can continue to do mundane, simple things together like take a walk at night and still have the actions seem profound.

--

It's a Wednesday, one of Seulgi's rare off-days, when she receives a call from Wendy.

She's been lounging on her couch for the past two hours, her eyes hardly leaving her phone. Her laptop rests aimlessly on her stomach, some movie on Netflix paused around the thirty minute mark on the screen. 

Should anyone ask her, Seulgi would say that she had, in fact, been thoroughly invested in the movie (though she can't remember the title for the life of her), but twenty minutes in, Irene had texted her a gif of a really cute cat. And since Irene takes priority over virtually everything else, Seulgi had abandoned the movie in favor of starting a conversation with the Red Velvet member. It was only ten minutes later that Seulgi had half the mind to pause it.

"Seulgi," Wendy's voice sounds from the other end of the line. Seulgi frowns at the evident worry in the tone. "Seulgi, I need your help."

"Whoa, what's wrong?" Seulgi asks, her face pinched in concern.

"It's Irene," Wendy says breathlessly, and Seulgi raises an eyebrow in shock. "She hasn't left her room all day. She wouldn't respond when we called her out for lunch, and we haven't heard the door open since we got home from our schedule last night."

"But I've—" been texting her for the past hour, and she seems perfectly fine. Seulgi shakes her head, almost forgetting that Wendy can't actually see her. If there's one thing that Seulgi's learned about Irene, it's that Irene is a homebody. Except she's a "busy myself with housework and chores and my members' needs before my own" type of homebody, not the "lock myself in my room and not respond to my members' attempts to care for me" homebody.

It doesn't sound like Irene at all.

"I'll be over in a few minutes."

(Seulgi makes sure to grab a sweat shirt to cover her arms before she leaves.)

--

"Seulgi, there's something you should know," Wendy says, albeit reluctantly, letting Seulgi step through the threshold into Red Velvet's dorms. "Something happened last night, over the phone. Irene wouldn't tell us, but we could make a good guess."

"Why?" Seulgi's brow furrows deeper. "What happened?"

Wendy looks around awkwardly, as if not knowing where to start, and with a sigh, it's actually Yeri who answers.

"Irene and Mino broke up," Yeri says, as straightforward as ever. Seulgi stares back at the youngest girl blankly. "They were arguing over the phone. They were arguing over Irene's fourth red mark."

"Why would they be arguing over something like that?" Seulgi asks. That's definitely... odd. Why would Mino have gotten mad over a red tally mark that basically screams out to the world I'm in love with you?

There's a tap on her shoulder, and Seulgi whirls around to find Joy looking at Seulgi with an unreadable expression in her eyes. The taller girl leans in, whispering into Seulgi's ear.

"A month ago, Mino got a mark when he was out on a date with Irene. But apparently, Irene didn't get her fourth mark when she was with Mino. She got it recently, when she was with someone else. She's not in love in him. She was never in love with him."

"What?" Seulgi pulls back with an expression that made her look like she was slapped in the face. Irene's in love with someone else who wasn't Mino? There was someone else?

"That's impossible," Seulgi says, shaking her head in disbelief. "Are you sure she wasn't on the phone with him or something?"

"Our marks don't work that way and you know it," Yeri says.

"But who else could she have fallen in love with? She's been doing promotions in Red Velvet for the past month! There's no way she could've found the time to meet with someone else." She'd been texting me every time she received a minute to spare...

"Maybe you can ask her," Wendy says gently. "You've become her ground, Seul. You're her sense of normalcy. I think she needs you right now."

Seulgi nods, gathering up her courage. "Right."

--

"Irene," Seulgi knocks carefully on the leader's door.

No answer.

"Irene," Seulgi calls again, keeping her voice warm and comforting. "It's me, Seulgi."

A moment's pause.

Somewhere inside the room, something stirs.

Seulgi stands back, and slowly, the door to Irene's room opens.

A pair of tired eyes blink up at her, and a dainty hand reaches out for Seulgi's hand.

Seulgi nods, smiling softly at the older girl and allows herself to be pulled into Irene's domain.

--

As Seulgi takes in her surroundings, Irene retreats to her bed, sitting on top of the comforter, shifting anxiously every now and then. Seulgi watches the way Irene's eyes dart around the room, sometimes settling on her desk, on the posters on her wall, on the carpeted floor, and even on Seulgi. For some reason, she looks... nervous? Was that it? But what for?

Gazing at Irene curiously, Seulgi pads over the join Irene on the bed. Tentatively, she wraps her arms around the older girl, and smiles as Irene exhales and relaxes into Seulgi's embrace.

"How are you?" Seulgi murmurs low into Irene's ear. It's as though she's trying to make sure only Irene can hear her, even though there's no one else but them in the room.

She receives a shrug as a response.

"Did the members catch you up to speed?" Irene asks, and Seulgi replies with a low hum of affirmation, earning a sigh from Irene. "So you do know. Mino and I broke up last night over the phone."

"I'm sorry," is all Seulgi can say. She doesn't mean it. Not really.

"What for?" Irene chuckles slightly, shaking her head. Seulgi tightens her hold on the smaller girl and cautiously reaches out for Irene's left wrist. When she's not rejected, Seulgi gingerly begins to trace the four crimson marks, and Irene watches the domestic action through lidded eyes. "It was for the best. We weren't going to go anywhere, and it saves both of us more heartbreak... though, I suppose any more Red Velvet collaborations with Winner are out of the question."

"No offense, but that Super Rookie stage with Red Velvet, Lovelyz, Winner, and Got7 looked really last-minute-thrown-together anyways," Seulgi replies, and it's a winning (no pun intended) moment when it garners a giggle out of Irene.

"Did you look that up?" Seulgi can't see Irene, but she can hear the smirk in her voice. "Because there's no way you actually remember that stage from back in 2014."

Seulgi tries to appear nonchalant as she looks at Irene's very interesting off-shade white walls. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Irene giggles again, and Seulgi's heart swells.

"That stage was pretty messy," Irene admits, and it's Seulgi's turn to laugh. "We definitely could've made the dance a bit nicer, had we been given more time to practice. When we were given the partner dance section, Mino helped me learn the moves. I think I was attracted to him back even back then, though we wouldn't start dating until over two years later."

Seulgi listens to Irene trail off wistfully.

"Speaking of dance moves," Seulgi says instead, "who the hell choreographed that dance? Because, come on! Red Velvet could've shone much more with dance moves other than those simple one-two steps."

Irene laughs louder this time, and she takes Seulgi's right hand and squeezes it appreciatively. "You should choreograph for idols more, Seulgi."

"I hope I'm given more opportunities," Seulgi replies honestly.

"I'm going to ask SM to call you down for our next comeback too," Irene says, and Seulgi grins.

"I'll take your word for it."

--

An hour later, and they're still on Irene's bed. Now they're just straight-up cuddling, Irene nuzzling herself deep into Seulgi's embrace. Meanwhile, Seulgi continues to trace Irene's red tally marks.

"Irene?"

"Yeah?"

"Would it be to much to ask about how you got these marks?" Seulgi braces herself for rejection, but to her surprise and delight, she feels Irene nod against her chest.

"I'll start from the beginning," Irene murmurs, and she grabs the hand that Seulgi's been using to touch her wrist and brings it over to the first tally mark.

"This one," she begins, "was Jungho. He was the captain of the soccer team back in high school, and he was a year older than me. He asked me out to prom after he and his team won back-to-back championships, in the middle of that cheering crowd and all the excitement. I was so proud of him, and right as he kissed me in front of everyone, it happened."

"Wow," Seulgi says, smirking slightly. "You're a true er for the cliché."

"Just wait," Irene laughs, pressing closer to Seulgi. "My affliction with that adjective gets worse."

"My next one," she continues, moving Seulgi's thumb over to the second tally mark, "was Kimberly. A year after Jungho graduated, Kimberly came to my grade. She was a Korean-American from the United States. She was really musically talented and loved to write songs on the guitar. She asked me out for the first time by writing me a song, and sang it to me on the roof of the school. As soon as she strummed the final chords, it happened."

"Okay, that's cliche, but sweet," Seulgi relents, and Irene swats her arm playfully. "What happened to her?"

"She moved back to the States. She was going to attend Julliard for university," Irene says, bringing Seulgi to the third mark. "Now this one, you especially can't tell anyone about. No one. Got it?"

Seulgi raises an eyebrow but nods nonetheless.

"This one was Suho," Irene says, and Seulgi's mouth drops open.

"I'm sorry, what?" Seulgi sputters. "Do you mean EXO's Suho?"

Irene nods. "He used to sing privately for me during our trainee days. He was sweet, and I received my third mark during one of SM's examinations. He'd been singing a love song, and even though we were in a room of people, it felt like he was singing only to me. He had a mark for me, too."

"He did?" Seulgi can feel her stomach dropping.

"Yeah," Irene shrugs. "But we let it go. We'd fallen in love with each other, but not enough to give up our dreams for one another. Now, I don't love him like I did before. I'm perfectly happy to call him my SMTOWN brother. I even think this mark got duller over time."

Seulgi nods slowly. She can understand it, and there have been plenty of stories of people falling out of love with one another.

"And what about this one?" Seulgi hears her voice become light and whispery as she traces the fourth and most recent mark. "How did you get this one?"

"This one... This line was unexpected, but then again, not really. It's kind of funny, actually, how I got this line. I'd gotten this line back when I was still dating Mino. The funny part is that he wasn't the reason for it. I wasn't even with him when this mark appeared." Irene's features take on a somber tone. "We fought about it, and we broke up. But I think it was for the best. After all, I'd accidentally fallen in love with someone else. It's also... the brightest mark I have."

Seulgi swallows roughly. She can't bring herself to look at Irene— not when knowing that Joy had been right. Her chest is throbbing, and everything is starting to hurt. She doesn't think she can stand the thought of Irene falling in love with yet another unknown person.

"It, um," Irene's voice falters; Seulgi can hear it crack. "It happened on June 22nd." What? "I'd just finished dinner with you and the members – we'd been celebrating a successful first day of our comeback – and I'd wanted to go outside and get some air. So I took your hand and brought you up to the roof with me. You," a breathy laugh escapes Irene's lips, and she combs some of her hair back out of habit, "you had asked me if what we were doing was legal."

"Irene..." The choreographer had gone awfully still as Irene continued her story. This is supposed to be about how Irene got her fourth mark. So why is she talking about...?

"And of course it wasn't illegal, silly!" Irene's giggle is cut off by a hiccup, and the leader trembles. Instinctively, Seulgi pulls Irene's smaller form in closer. "So we stood by the railing, and you were telling me about how you wanted to fall in love with someone who would love you back, and god, my heart hurt when you said that."

"Irene, what are you—"

"And you looked so sad." Irene doesn't stop talking, her voice shaking, but determined not to be deterred. "I– I realized that I never wanted to see that look on your face ever again. Never. And you–" Seulgi feels Irene inhale like she'd been drowning and just took her first gulp of air in an eternity. "You were beautiful with all the city lights, and you were looking at me like," a brief pause, "I don't know... like you had seen the secret to the whole universe."

Then Irene accidentally lets out a quiet whimper, and Seulgi looks at her in alarm. Swiftly, the younger girl reaches Irene's cheek, feeling tears there, and the older girl submits into the warm touch.

"And then I felt it," Irene whispers, like she's just admitted her deepest, darkest secret, and in a way, she has. Turning in Seulgi's hold, she leans up and presses her forehead against her best friend's collarbone. "On June 22nd, I fell in love with you, Kang Seulgi. And I didn't know what to do about it, so I ended up doing nothing, and I think that's the one thing in life that I regret the most. Well," Irene chuckles, but Seulgi can't hear any amusement in the noise. "Next to unintentionally ruining our relationship, that is."

Seulgi blinks, letting her and Irene lapse into silence, neither girl moving. She keeps her arms firmly around Irene's torso, watching the older girl try to control herself and settle her abnormal breathing,

Irene had fallen in love with her. The unbelievably beautiful girl in her arms had fallen in love with her, Kang Seulgi. The very same Kang Seulgi who had kept worrying this whole time that her feelings for the girl group leader would forever go unrequited.

And Irene thinks that she ruined their... friendship? Is that what their relationship is? It's taken Seulgi a while to realize it, but she and Irene have always had a bit more than that; no matter how either girl tries to protest and deny it.

"Irene?" Seulgi calls gently, and when her only reply is a bit of shifting against her chest, Seulgi giggles.

"Irene," she calls again, this time cupping Irene's cheek once more to force the older girl to meet her gaze. Irene's eyes look scared, and Seulgi knows that she's in love when she comes to terms with the fact that she would actually do anything to keep that expression off of Irene's face permanently.

"You fell in love on June 22nd, right?" Seulgi asks gently, and Irene nods, looking somewhat dazed. "Can I tell you something?"

"What?" Irene asks, her voice small.

"Me too," Seulgi whispers back, rolling up the left sleeve of her sweatshirt. And there it is, in all its glory: Seulgi's single, crimson tally mark, glimmering in the dim light of Irene's bedroom (Seulgi swears it's turned into a more vibrant shade of crimson since she last saw it). 

There's something incredibly satisfying about watching Irene's eyes enlarge in shock; seeing the way the emotions playing out across her expression— confusion, shock, disbelief, and finally, pure elation and wonder.

"This," Irene gulps, and it's her turn to trace Seulgi's single mark. "This line is for me? Are you sure?"

"You know as well as anyone that you can never forget the moment you receive each mark." Seulgi's smile is everything in that moment. She's never been so happy. Everything she's ever wanted – everything she's ever needed – is right in front of her, tangible, and obtainable. And by "everything," Seulgi means Irene.

"I am so in love with you, Bae Joohyun," Seulgi says confidently, for the first time addressing Irene by her real name.

She can see Irene well up with tears, and she tugs Irene as close as possible, peppering feather-light kisses across the older girl's face until Irene simply has to start laughing. Seulgi plants a kiss on Irene's forehead, grinning into the skin there.

"Seulgi!" Irene laughs, reaching out to bring Seulgi's face down to hers. "Seulgi! I'm in love with you!"

Seulgi grins again, surging forward to capture Irene's lips with her own, and Irene returns the kiss, equally as passionate; equally as longing.

--

"Hey, Hyun," Seulgi says, hovering over Red Velvet's leader who she has successfully pinned to the bed.

"Hm?" Irene looks up, smiling.

"I'm going to teach you some new choreography," Seulgi says, leaning down to peck eager lips. "You okay with that?"

Irene giggles, nodding as she pulls Seulgi closer. "I'd think I'd be very interested in this new dance."

--

Hours later, as they're basking in the glowing aftermath, Irene throws on a shirt, throws another one at Seulgi (who laughs, but puts it on as she silently thanks whoever decided to make the walls of Red Velvet's dorm soundproof), before sliding back into the bed and pressing a kiss into the underside of Seulgi's jawline.

"Hey Seul?"

"Yeah, Hyun?"

"Dance with me?"

"Did we just not?" Seulgi asks, and Irene smirks but shakes her head.

"No, I mean that I want you to actually dance with me. On stage."

That gets Seulgi's attention. She shifts onto her elbow, propping herself up and tilting her head curiously. "How?"

"Hit the Stage," Irene says, and Seulgi raises an eyebrow. "Next week. I was invited to go on, to represent Red Velvet. But I need a partner, and you're an amazing choreographer..." She trails off. "...And the theme is First Love."

"There it is," Seulgi smiles, a protective arm circling around Irene's waist. "I'd love to dance with you. Are you sure? I'm not your first."

"One hundred percent," Irene replies, nothing but serious, but a hint of a smile shines through. "You might not be my first love, but you're the first that really matters." She pauses, a thought hitting. "Are you alright with media? The producers will probably want you to talk about... stuff," she finishes lamely.

"Stuff?" The amusement is evident in Seulgi's tone.

"Y'know... our relationship and stuff," Irene mumbles, almost bashfully. "You... We might want to think about how we'll answer that."

"Well," Seulgi drawls, gazing at Irene with unabashed affection. "How do you want to answer it? Because I want what you want, Hyun."

"I..." Irene bites her lip. "I want to be honest. I don't want to hide."

"Then we answer honestly," Seulgi says, sighing happily into Irene's hair.

"You're okay with that?" Irene's voice is muffled against Seulgi's skin. "Are you sure?"

Seulgi nods with a hum. "Again, I want what you want, Hyun. And I might not go down in history as the first person to never receive a red mark, but I can go down in history as Red Velvet's Irene's first public girlfriend. I want to go down in history with you, Hyun."

Irene laughs. "I want to go down in history with you too, Seul."

--

"Where'd you find her, Irene?" Hyoyeon asks. She and Irene were sitting on the bleachers during a Hit the Stage rehearsal, watching from the sidelines as Ten demonstrates the choreography for NCT's newest single for Seulgi, who does her best, amidst much laughter from them both, to keep up with the spontaneous dance. (In her defense, Seulgi's spent most of her free time learning EXO dances, due to having worked with them before.)

"You saw the video," Irene says with a laugh. The contestants had been shown the rehearsal cams and interview sessions of their competitors in advance, including Irene's and Seulgi's subtle announcement of their relationship. "We met when Seulgi was given the opportunity to make Red Velvet's new choreography."

"You should keep her," Hyoyeon remarks.

"I plan on it," Irene replies, beaming with pride as Seulgi follows along to Ten's dance to the chorus flawlessly. "Definitely not letting her go any time soon."

But then the dance beak comes (which Ten had neglected to teach her), with a roll of her eyes, Seulgi throws up her hands in a bah, it manner.

"Screw this," she yells over the music, dancing to EXO's "Mama" as Ten snickers at her nearby, and Irene and Hyoyeon keel over from laughter.

"Oh, she's so SM style!" Hyoyeon says between guffaws, and Irene doesn't respond verbally, choosing to let her silent laughter do the talking for her.

--

They win with a dance to Troye Sivan's "YOUTH," and honestly, it comes as no surprise. None from the other competitors, none from the audience, and certainly none from the other Red Velvet members who had showed up the day of recording to watch.

"Yeah," Seulgi says to Irene that night, after they've come off the stage with their trophy. "We definitely had the best love story out there."

"You can say that again," Irene smiles, leaning her head on Seulgi's shoulder.

"We definitely had the best—"

"You're so stupid, Kang Seulgi!" Irene smacks Seulgi's arm with no force behind it.

Seulgi only laughs and shrugs.

"But it's true though."

"I never said that you were wrong." Irene giggles, covering the noise with a laugh. "But you know what you should do later tonight?"

"What?"

"Check your email." Irene pats Seulgi's shoulder. "You probably got something from a certain entertainment company."

"Wait," Seulgi stops walking abruptly, and Irene nearly trips over the sudden action. "Are you serious?"

She stares at Irene with wide eyes, and the other girl shrugs and continues walking, a sly smile creeping across her features, but not revealing anything.

"I love you," Seulgi announces, not caring if anyone overheard. She runs to catch up to the older girl and practically tackles Irene into a hug, attacking her with kisses. "I really, really love you, Joohyun!"

"I love you too!" Irene replies with just as much emotion, her eyes as clear as that night on the roof, when their marks first appeared.

And Seulgi's happy. Really really happy. For the first time, she's more than glad to have been proven wrong. Sure, maybe she's over a year into adulthood, and sure, maybe she's still below statistically average. But now there's a crimson mark on her wrist and a girl in her arms who loves her and will cherish her, and she's just announced it to the whole world (and maybe Dispatch will be on her tail as well, but she and Irene agreed to be honest and she's more than willing to sacrifice a bit of her privacy to be with Irene). So her original hypothesis is wrong but that's really alright because—

Kang Seulgi is, in fact, cut out for love, and she'll go down in history for it.

 

End.