“This is ing hilarious,” Jin screeched, almost kicking Namjoon off the sofa. Hoseok glared at him, thoroughly unamused.

“Are you actually serious Hoseok? Like 100 percent serious?” Namjoon asked incredulously.

“How can you not know your boyfriend's name?” Jin squawked, laughing hysterically and Hoseok winced.

“So, let me get this straight,” Suga said, his low voice cutting through Jin's high pitched laugh easily, “you are the one that gave him the nickname ‘Mochi' because you forgot his name, and now he introduces himself to everyone as Mochi so you still don't know?” Namjoon started wheezing and fell off the couch. “And yet somehow, through all of this, you guys ended up dating?” Hoseok nodded sheepishly, wincing again as Jin laughed obnoxiously right into his other ear. “Wow,” Suga breathed, “this is a whole new level of idiocy I never knew you could reach.” 

“Have you tried asking his friends?” Namjoon gasped when he finally calmed down a little.

“Yeah, and they laughed in my face and wouldn't tell me. Plus they call him Mochi now too so...” He trailed off awkwardly, watching as Namjoon tried to look sympathetic before giving up entirely and going back to cackling. “And before you ask all his books say Park ing Mochi and he lost his student card and got it reissued and now that says Mochi too.” Jin made a noise Hoseok didn't even know was humanly possible. “I feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on me man.”

“That's quite impressive to be honest,” Suga said and then he suddenly seemed to realise something, turning to look at Hoseok with narrowed eyes. “Wait a sec! Hoseok! Did you nickname me Suga because you forgot my name was Yoongi?” He yelled. Hoseok blanched, scrambling to his feet and grabbing his back.

“Gotta go hyung, gotta do, uhm, work! Got an essay due!” He shouted back over his shoulder.

He heard Jin wheezing as he left;

“He doesn't even take any writing subjects! He's hopeless,” before dissolving back into laughter.