JESSICA'S POV

                After the song was finished, I went off the stage and hurriedly walked back to my dressing room. As soon as I got inside, I cried my heart out. For two minutes, I was holding back my tears. This was just too much for me to take.

                I heard the door open and turned around. Teukie oppa was there, frowning when he saw my tear-stricken face.

                “Hey… What happened? Why are you crying?” He approached me and put his arm on my shoulder.

                “O-Onew. H-he’s Lee Jinki. He was my ex-boyfriend. Oppa… He was the one I left to pursue my dreams.” I told him as I was shaking while uncontrollably letting out sobs.

                Teukie Oppa hugged me and patted my back. He knew what I’ve been through before I became an Idol. He knew what I had to give up just achieving my dreams.

…

[Author’s note: Jessica became an idol in Japan a year ago. After a couple of months, Onew became a trainee. He was supposed to debut after two years but since he already made an appearance to the public, his debut will be sooner than planned.]

JINKI’S POV

                Jessica went backstage immediately after our song ended. It was my song for her. I wrote it while thinking about our memories and thought about asking her how she’s been after a year. SM wanted Kyuhyun to sing this song with Jessica but I guess it is fate that he got sick. I guess we were really meant to meet through this song. I knew this would happen since I started writing the song. But obviously, she did not want to talk to me. I guess she never really loved me.

                Fans gave positive feedbacks on their duet. One Year Later received so much love that’s why Sooman decided to include it in Jessica’s new album.

“You’re going to sing it with Onew now, Jessica.” Lee Sooman told her as he played with a pencil.

“But Kyuhyun and I already recored the song.” Jessica retorted. She knew she’ll have to work with Jinki, now known as Onew, since they are label-mates but as much as possible, she will try to avoid him.

“I already talked with Kyuhyun. He is fine with it and besides, the last decision is still mine. You and Onew sounded great together. He was already seen by the public when he wasn’t supposed to. This is the right thing to do.  Just so you know, One Year Later… was composed by Onew.” SM explained.

So that’s why he knew the song. Why didn’t the staff tell me and Teukie Oppa that it was Jinki who composed the song? It seems like I cannot argue with him anymore. After all, he is the boss. Leeteuk Oppa cannot even in in our conversation. Everything doesn’t feel right anymore. How am I supposed to work with an ex-boyfriend? I know I have to be professional, but still… It’s been a year. My life is okay now. Why complicate things? Lee Sooman will never understand. This is business we are talking about. Jessica thought.

“I’m going to produce your Korean album first.  Once One Year Later is played in radio stations. Onew will earn a lot of fans and so will you. He will debut once your promotions are done.” He continued. She felt so wronged. She thought Sooman made her come back to Korea to produce an albumjust used to make someone popular. And that someone… is Onew.

…

JESSICA'S POV

                I went outside SM’s office. I cannot do anything anymore. I will never win. Onew… Why did you have to be a singer? Of all entertainment companies, why SM?

                Leeteuk Oppa talked with SM with my future schedule. Everything’s already set.

…

JESSICA'S POV

                As soon as Leeteuk Oppa and I got in the van, I slumped on the seats and heaved out a sigh. I closed my eyes and massaged my temples when Leeteuk Oppa broke the silence.

                “I know you’re really stressed right now but please bear with it for a while. It’s just one song. You are probably going to record the song with him for a day. Be professional.” He was serious.

                “I know, I know.” I half-heartedly said.

                “It is really difficult for you to work with him. I know what you feel, but this is your job. You have to do it no matter what.” He said while looking at me intently.

                ‘You have to do it no matter what.’ His last sentence echoed through my mind.

                God, please help me get through this.

…

JINKI’S POV

                Sooyoung became my manager and she knew all the hardships that I’ve been through. She helped me move on by keeping me busy with all the idol trainings.

                We were on our way to the recording studio when she suddenly spoke.

                “I hope you are just not doing this for personal reasons.” She said.

                “Doing what?” I asked innocently.

                “Did you forget that you didn’t want to become a singer before, Jinki? Huh?” She asked me sarcastically.

Of course I did not. Being a singer wasn’t my dream although I was great at singing. I did not want to become one because I knew that I won’t be spending much time with my family and friends, just like what happened to Jessica.

                “Why can’t I? I gave up my work just to be a singer. I gave up spending time with my friends. I barely even see my family. So why can’t I do what I want to do? I had reasons when I agreed to be a trainee. You know that.” I was hoping Sooyoung would understand.

                “Jinki. This is show business. You shouldn’t bring your personal problems to your work.” She sighed.

                “I know that you’re only doing this because you want to see Jessica again. You want to know why she left you. You want to know if this world was really worth it for Jessica to leave you. You want to know if she really loved you. Am I right?” She asked me while looking at me in the eyes. She knows she is right.

                “Because this is the only way for me to be happy again! If… Maybe if I knew the answers to my questions…  I’ll be able to finally let go.” I slouched as I literally felt the pain in my heart.

                Sooyoung patted my back trying to comfort me. But the pain was still there…

…

SM STUDIO

JESSICA’S POV

                All I want is to disappear right now. Today is the day where Onew… (Ugh. I’m not even used to his screen name.) and I will finally record the song he composed.  Since I CANNOT disappear, I’ve decided to just work my hardest to finish recording the song in a day so that I won’t have to work with him any longer.

…

ONEW’S POV

                I was vocalizing when the door of the studio opened. Finally, Jessica came. She bowed to our music director and finally, to me.

                “Annyeong haseyo.” She greeted everyone in the studio.

                “Okay, Jessica. Since you’re already here, we’re going to start recording in a few minutes. You may vocalize and practice with Onew a little bit.” Our music director told her.

                “Okay.” She said with a poker face.

                “Annyeong haseyo.” She unemotionally greeted me.

                “Annyeong haseyo, Jessica.” I greeted her back. She looked away when I said her name. She obviously didn’t want to see me. Jessica. Do you hate me that much that you don’t even want to see me?

                We started vocalizing and practicing together. After ten minutes, the director called our attention and signaled us to start. Jessica sang the first verse when the music started but she wasn’t even finished yet when the director told her to stop.

                “Jessica, you are singing a sad song. You need to put more emotion while singing.”

                She sang again but the director stopped the music to tell her something again.

                “Jessica, this is a great song that should touch listeners once they heard your voice. Emotion, Jessica. I need to know your feelings.” He told Jessica while grabbing his chest.

                “I’m sorry. I-I’ll be back.” She said those words and hurriedly left the studio.

                “Jessica, where are you going? Jessica!” the director shouted.

                “Leeteuk, what is wrong with Jessica?” the director asked her manager.

                “She doesn’t feel well today. We’re so sorry. I’ll get her.” Her manager left the room to look for her.

…

JESSICA’S POV

                I left the studio and went to the practice room. I just can’t stand there and fail while being watched by Onew. I am working hard. I am working as hard as I can but it still isn’t enough! What do they know about feelings!

                “They don’t know anything!” I shouted while clenching my fist, almost digging my palm with my nails.