Kihyun scrunched his nose at the page before him.  What was it about history that made everything so boring and difficult to follow?  He had been staring at the page for a good ten minutes without fully comprehending anything from it.  He looked over at the report that had been assigned to them earlier that day, and then at the two paragraphs that had been poorly scribbled in response to half of the question.  Honestly the two paragraphs were more like two sentences, but they were wordy.  He was proud that he had managed to work out that much.

                He huffed and looked to the widow next to him.  Hyungwon had enough time to show him to the library before he ran off to do what he needed to do during his free period.  Kihyun had been lucky enough to find a secluded table away from the crowded common area of the library.  He was between rows of history where he was sure no one ever ventured.  It was quiet and calming and supposed to help him focus on his task to no avail.  He was finding the window more entertaining than the minor clash of clans in Egypt in early, probably prehistoric, history.

                Kihyun pulled off one of his braces, taking care not to adjust the Velcro of the fingers of it so they wouldn’t fall off.  He flexed his hand slowly, trying to work the constant stiffness out of the fingers, eyes staring at a tree in the distance of the window.  Gentle breeze ruffling his papers.  Kihyun’s brow furrowed.  The window was slowly being opened outward, seemingly on its own.

                Now Kihyun was a logical person.  He didn’t believe in ghosts.  But demons and monsters, he had enough hardships in his life to believe in those.  His heart was hammering in his throat at the thought until he saw very human hands appearing on the sill of the window, followed by a tuff of fluffy hair.

                It was a very new occurrence to watch someone sneak into the library of all things, it was a bit concerning that someone would risk climbing through a second story window to do so.  Kihyun stared in wonderment as a boy pulled himself into the window frame, crouching low to shake his hands off and get grounding on his surroundings.  He seemed faintly surprised to see Kihyun where he was.

                “Oh, wow, I didn’t think anyone knew about this table.”  He said in a low whisper then more directly to Kihyun.  “Hey kid, I wasn’t here and you didn’t see me, okay?”

                Kihyun nodded, it wasn’t any of his business anyway, but it would be a fun conversation for Hyungwon later at lunch.

                The boy gave him a quick smile before nimbly hopping of the ledge and disappeared around the bookcase at the creeping pace.

                Kihyun shrugged his shoulders and pointed his nose back to the text he was supposed to be reading.  The report wasn’t due for another month, but it was always good to be ahead, and he wanted at least a portion of it done before therapy later.  He had about five minutes of peaceful reading before a shrill voiced boomed across the library.

                “CHANGKYUN YOU BRING THAT BOOK BACK RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN!”

                Kihyun’s only warning was a deep laugh as the boy from earlier came bounding around the corner, book in hand.

                “I’ll bring it back tomorrow ma’am!”  He called as he proceeded to jump on to Kihyun’s table, kicking all Kihyun’s work to the floor and hopping out the window.

                Kihyun’s heart practically gave out as he ran to the window.  He could barely handle people falling from great heights in movies and now some kid was determined to give him a heart attack by killing himself over a book?  Kihyun’s head was out in the fresh air for a moment when he saw the boy sauntering around the corner of the school, nose already buried deep into the book.

                “That boy, I swear.”  Kihyun jumped and turned to see an old librarian huffing.  “Did he at least make it out the window fine?”

                Kihyun stared at her and nodded his head, suddenly conscience that his brace was on the floor and his hand was bare.

                “Oh dear, look at this mess.  I hope he didn’t disrupt you with his playfulness.  He really is a sweet boy; it’s the reputation that follows him that gets him in trouble.  He was only banned for two days and he acts like it was the end of the world.”  She smiled placing her hands on her hips.  “Tell you what.  You don’t tell the head librarian I let him get away and I will allow you check your reference book out so you can head to lunch early; just our little secret, okay?”  She winked and gathered up the reference book from the floor.  It only took Kihyun a moment to give a small smile gathering his notes into his bag before pulling his brace back on with his teeth.

~

 

                He was early to the tree that Hyungwon had claimed was their groups spot.  He pulled out his packed lunch he had made himself that morning.  He was happily munching of his sandwich and flipping the pages in the history book, finding that now that he wasn’t confided to the table he was a little more focused. 

                “Kihyun!”  Hyunwoo jogged over to him with a smile.  “What are you doing out here so early?  I thought you had lunch later.”

                Kihyun nodded, setting his food down so he could sign to his brother.  Out of study early. 

                “Oh!  Well that’s nice, but why outside?  It’s a little brisk out, do you need a jacket?  I heard some bad kids sit around here.”  Hyunwoo squatted in front of him, pulling open Kihyun’s bag of fruit and helping himself to some grapes.

                Made a friend, he sits here.

                “Oh?  Well if they’re your friend then they can’t be bad.  Maybe the guys were wrong.”  Hyunwoo pursed his lips in thought.  “Oh, you’ll like them Hyunnie.  They like sports and they’re part of the swim team.  They aren’t very smart though.  Does it seem like you’re ahead in every class too?”  Kihyun nodded, popping an orange slice into his mouth.  “Anyway, I better catch up with them.  They were gonna show me the pool area.  Maybe I’ll get to join this year.”  A dark look flashed across his brother’s face and it caused Kihyun to reach out and slowly hover his hand over Hyunwoo’s arm.  “I’m okay Hyunnie, it’s just hard sometimes.  I’m used to coming home to taking care of her.  I saw you made extra this morning too.”  Hyunwoo gave him a tearful smile, “I must be hard on you too.”

                Kihyun mirrored the look, it was hard, but it wasn’t nearly as devastating to him as it had been to Hyunwoo.  He rested his hand on his brother arm lightly.  Doing his best to give what comfort he could.

                “Hyunwoo!”  A tall man jogged over to them.  “Hey, I thought I lost you around here somewhere.” 

                Kihyun flinched.  He didn’t know if the man was this loud on purpose or it was a sadly natural thing.  But the sound grated on Kihyun’s ears.

                “Yeah, I saw my brother and stopped by to say hi.”  Hyunwoo said. 

                “Brother?  Oh right, you said he was in a different class.”  The man smiled down at Kihyun, giving him a once over.  Kihyun shrunk in on himself at the look.

                “Yes, Ken this is my brother Kihyun.”  Hyunwoo said patting Ken’s shoulder.  “Kihyun this is my new friend Ken.”

                Nice to meet you?  Kihyun signed.

                “Um, hi?  Sorry did you just flick me off?”  Ken stared.

                Kihyun panicked and started waving his hands, trying his best to apologize.

                “Oh no, sorry Ken; I should have mentioned that Kihyun can’t talk.  He was saying that it was a pleasure to meet you.  His braces make it difficult for signing though.”  Hyunwoo smiled.  “It’s okay Kihyunnie, no worries.”

                “Yeah, sorry, didn’t mean to make you panic.”  Ken smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes.  “It’s nice to meet you as well.”

                “Anyway Kihyunnie, I’ll see you after class okay?”  Hyunwoo took out his phone and typed a quick message.  Kihyun didn’t jump when his phone buzzed in his pocket. 

                Kihyun nodded, sending his best fake smile at them both as they headed back into the main building of the school.  He gave a silent huff and picked his sandwich back up.  It was just like Hyunwoo to get the rude jock friends again.

                “Good to see you again, Kid.”  A deep voice said from the side.  Kihyun looked over, shocked to see the boy from the library, nose still deep into the book he stole, he also seemed to be dragging a dead body like it weighed nothing.  “Had I realized you were the new friend of Sleepy Frog here was talking about I would have just asked you to check the book out for me.”  The boy looked up and gave Kihyun a lopsided smile.  “Sorry, I must have given you a bit of a fright.  I’m Changkyun.”

                Kihyun gave a small smile in return.  He looks like a puppy.  He held up a covered finger and reached for his notebook in his bag.

                “Oh, don’t worry about that.  I taught myself how to do sign language when I was ten.”  Kihyun looked at him startled.  “I was a very bored child.  Anyway,” Changkyun tossed Hyungwon onto the ground where the lanky boy simply rolled over to cuddled a root.  “Hyungwon said Mr. Spinner was giving you some issues in class today.”  Changkyun crossed his legs as he sat in front of Kihyun and smiled.

                Kihyun shook his head, biting his lip and he signed, I’m pretty sure he just didn’t realize.

                “I’m pretty sure he knew Kihyun, something like this would have been placed in your file for all the teachers to know.” 

                Kihyun bit his lip and nodded.  He knew the information was in his file.

                “It’s also written on the attendance log as ‘can’t speak’ so that teachers know to look at you when they ask you to answer.”  Hyungwon said sleepily, rolling to face them, and then rolling closer when he realized he was still too far away.  “Mr. Spinner is just an .  But he’s still scared of Wonho after last year, so I’m glad that came in handy today.”

                “We should probably let Wonho know.”  Changkyun said` pulling out his phone.

                “You can tell him later baby.  I want to know why you startled Kihyun earlier.”

                “I was climbing through the library window.”  Changkyun said as he typed a message onto his phone.

                “Again?”  Hyungwon smiled.

                “Well if you hadn’t gotten me banned in the first placed I wouldn’t have had to.”

                “You were more than happy to be in the position that got you banned in the first place.”

                Changkyun paused, finger held in the air from where he was about to point at Hyungwon’s form and state something.  Kihyun had to stifle his smile as Changkyun’s nose twitched.

                “Alright!  To be fair, I was very happy.”

                “Oh, I know you were baby, I felt it.”

                Kihyun’s cheeks flared red as he started to gain ground on their conversation.  He waved his hands in distress and covered his ears.

                “Oh, sorry Kihyun.”  Hyungwon grinned as he pulled himself up to rest against the tree, closer to Kihyun than he had wanted.  “I should have told you, Changkyun is my boyfriend.  You will hear all sorts of things about us, but that one is true.  We are complete homo for each other.”  Hyungwon gave Changkyun a sleepy smile who could only smile and roll his eyes at Hyungwon.  “I’m sorry if the news bothers you.  Or if it makes you uncomfortable.”

                That doesn’t bother me at all.  Kihyun signed to them.

                “Oh?  You don’t mind the homo?  Just the innuendo?”  Changkyun smiled at him and Kihyun had to stifle another blush.

                “Ok, we should leave the poor boy alone.”

                “Yes, dear.” 

                They were both letting out warm laughs when it happened.  Hyungwon had shifted closer to Kihyun.  Seemingly to lean on the boy’s shoulder.  Kihyun couldn’t help the fear that bubbled up, couldn’t help the flinch that caused him to drop his food and pull his legs up.  His heart hammered and his breathing became labored.  Dark memories started to pry their way to the foreground.  Forcing him to remember chains and belts; hammers and nails; pain, all the pain that had wielded itself to his body. 

                “.”  Changkyun’s voice rose, there was a tussle and a small whimper from Hyungwon.  “Kihyun its okay.  He’s not next to you.  It’s okay.”

                “Kihyunnie, I’m so sorry.  I moved, I promise.”  Hyungwon’s voice was stressed.

                Kihyun couldn’t look.  He pressed his hands to his eyes, making himself as small as possible.  Tale old snaps sounding in his ears.  He could feel the tears getting ready to fall.

                “Look up little one, it’s okay.”  This voice was new, stronger, and more assuring.  Peppermint filled his nose.  “No one is close by.  You just need to feel around you hun.  It will be okay.”

                Kihyun took a silent shuddering breath. 

                “Deep breaths sweetie.  Deep breaths.  No one is near you.  You can look up.  It’s okay.  You’re safe.  I promise.  Show me those eyes sweetie.”  Kihyun took a deeper breath.  The deep voice kept prompting him to do so, and he could feel his heart slow.  He could hear grass crunch beneath feet and breathed deeply through his nose again.  The smell of peppermint stronger than before.  “Just look at me darling.  It would be nice to meet you face to face.  Instead of Changkyun telling me there was a cute new guy that I should meet.”  There was another crunch and the sound of a body settling in front of him.  “Deep breaths.”  Kihyun took another breath from his nose.  Calming more as peppermint filled his senses again.

                Kihyun slowly reached an arm out, pressing around the ground beside him.  Clear, in front of him was also clear.  The voice wasn’t lying, they weren’t close.  It was okay.  Kihyun slowly looked up, breathing deeply through his nose again.  He noticed boots first, not dress code boots, and next were obviously not dress code pants, the pale legs were exposed between the rips and tears.

                “There you go sweetie, it’s okay.  Look up so you can meet me.  Please?”

                “I’m so sorry, Kihyunnie.”  Hyungwon’s voice sounded broken.  And Kihyun could only shake his head.  It wasn’t Hyungwon’s fault he was broken.

                “Hey little one, look at me please.”  Kihyun brought his focus from the torn jeans to an obviously filled out torso.  His breath caught as he paused on the shirt, nothing different but panic was coming back and he patted the ground again, biting his lip when he couldn’t feel the grass on his fingers.

                He tore at his braces, feeling the Velcro tug and pull before finally giving way.  With a free hand, he trailed one through the grass, the other came up to grasp the front of his shirt.  He felt satisfaction.  His bubble was safe, he was safe, he could breath.

                Kihyun wrapped his arms around his raised knees and braved a look over them.  His breath caught from the beauty of the man before him.  He was pale, muscled; his wide brown eyes held a glint of worry as the wind pushed his brown bangs across them.

                “Hi!”  Teeth blinded Kihyun.  “I’m Hoseok, but these idiots call me Wonho every now and then.

                Kihyun waved crooked fingers at him, his shaky smile not making it to his eyes.

                “It’s okay, take your time.  Is it okay for me to scoot closer?”  The man, Hoseok, smiled again, tilting his head as he waited for Kihyun to tell him it was fine.

                Kihyun nodded, tightening his arms around his legs as he felt tears fill his eyes.  He just had a panic attack in front of his first ever friends.  He felt horrible.

                “Oh sweetie!  You can’t cry if I can’t touch you!”  Hoseok had scooted as close as he thought he could.  Kihyun was appreciative, he had left an arm’s length space between them.  “If you cry, I will cry.  And honestly, I look ugly when I cry, so I’ll cry more.  Therefore, you can’t cry.”  Hoseok said, holding his hand out to empty air as his doe eyes began to fill.  “Honestly.”  He sniffed.  “I get red eyes for hours when I cry, no one will think I’m scary then.  So, you can’t cry unless I can hold you and then we can cry together!”

                “It’s true, he is really ugly when he cries.”  Changkyun said, he was cradling Hyungwon in his lap.  The tall boy making small sniffs of his own.

                Kihyun took another stilling breath and reached out a trembling hand; memories of an alleyway and a child flashing in his mind.  Another breath and his fingers grazed Hoseok’s, but he didn’t pull back, instead he took another deep breath through his nose, allowing the peppermint smell to move through him again.  He slowly let his knees drop, and brought his other hand up to rub at his eyes. 

                Cold fingers slowly closed around his hand.  Hoseok’s thumb running small circles around the top. 

                “There you go hun, feeling better?”

                Kihyun nodded, rubbing his chest to form out an apology.

                “You don’t need to be sorry Kihyun.”  Changkyun said, he knocked his head against Hyungwon’s gently.  “It’s this idiot that should be sorry, he knows better than to think everyone can be a pillow.”

                “I am sorry Kihyun, I should have asked.”  Hyungwon said sadly from Changkyun’s lap.    

Kihyun shook his head, trying to get his free hand to sign that it was alright.  His fingers kept stuttering over the lettering though, causing the words to become a jumbled mess.  He kept trying, becoming frustrated that the simple word wouldn’t form.

“It’s okay love, we understand.”  Hoseok shushed him, his thumb running calming circles over his hand.

Kihyun huffed silently, dropping his hand and instead focusing on the other.  He watched as Hoseok’s pale thumb traced up one scar and down another.  It was calming, but watching it happen, Kihyun couldn’t help but feel self-conscious, his fingers appeared more crooked, his entire hand more scarred in comparison to Hoseok’s perfect pale hand.  Kihyun bit his lip and gently tugged his hand out of the hold.  His heart jumped as Hoseok gave him a small smile, tracing his thumb up one more scar before releasing the hand.  Kihyun didn’t think he could get his brace on fast enough, he didn’t stop adjusting the finger straps until both hands sat straight on his leg. 

“Well, that wasn’t how I wanted to meet the new kid.”  Hoseok smiled at him.  “But hi!”  Hoseok waggled his fingers at Kihyun.  It was a completely silly action, but it seemed to suit the muscly man.

Kihyun gave him a small smile in return, his head bobbing in greeting.

“What are you doing here anyway?  I thought you were visiting Min today.”  Changkyun asked, his hand running small circles over Hyungwon’s lower back.

“I was on my way there when you texted me about meeting a new guy.  I’m glad I stopped by.  Much cuter in person than in description.”  Hoseok winked at Kihyun.  The small squeak that escaped him as he ducked his head was not him. 

Oh, my god, could you be any weirder?  Kihyun thought to himself as he willed his cheeks to stop blushing so much.

“Wonho stop!  You’re making our poor little Kihyun shy!”  Hyungwon cooed and then he glared up at Changkyun.  “And where do you get off telling other guys that someone is cute?”  Changkyun only grinned at him in response.

“Alright, before that becomes disgusting, and before cranky catches me mulling around, I’m gonna head out.  Hyungwon did you grab Min’s homework?”  Hoseok stood, wiping grass from his legs.

“Yeah, it’s in my bag, he better know I love him, making me grab all this stuff cause he wants to magically be a good student now.”  Hyungwon reached over and tossed his whole bag at Hoseok.  “Tell him he owes me like fifty cuddles for taking time out of my nap for this.”

“Oh, so you can talk about cuddling another guy, but I can’t be a perfect wingman and tell my main man that there is a new cutie in town?”  Changkyun pouted.

“I am your main man, and you are all the cute I need.”  Hyungwon said simply, pressing a quick kiss to Changkyun’s pouting lips.  “Besides, you get tired of cuddling after an hour and if I turn on the television Min never moves.”

“Okay!”  Hoseok exclaimed, pulling a stack of papers from Hyungwon’s bag and tossing it at the cuddling couple.  “I think I speak for both Kihyun and I when I say, stop being ing gross.”  Kihyun nodded, pressing his hands to his cheeks to stop the blush that had risen again.

“Sorry,” Hyungwon clamored out of Changkyun’s lap, rubbing the back of his head where the bag had hit.

“Alright, so I’m going.  Please don’t scar this baby anymore.”  Hoseok said pointing at Kihyun with a smile.

Changkyun grinned up at him, clearly that wasn’t gonna be something they would follow.  “Let Min know I’ll be with him tomorrow instead of Gun.”

“I will I.M.”  Hoseok gave everyone a smile and then turned his full attention back to Kihyun.  “Hopefully you’ll get to meet all of us soon Kihyun.  But it’s nice to have someone new to meet.”  There was another blinding smile and Hoseok took off out of the school yard, nimbly leaping over the school wall like he was made to do it.

Kihyun couldn’t say he wouldn’t mind watching those strong legs make that same leap over and over.