Wordcount: ~8.6k

 

 

 

Partying.

Fun.

Freedom.

 

Ask any student and they will tell you that these things are all synonymous with summer.

Ask Lalisa Manoban and she will tell you something very different.

 

Summer?

 

Summer is synonymous with long, flowing, brown hair blowing in the wind on a hot sunny day.

 

With secret smiles and touches shared in a small bed while wrapped in crumpled, white, silk sheets.

 

With the gnawing feeling clawing at her chest every time she sees her with him.

 

With the sinking hope that she will never be able to take her heart back because she simply can’t.

 

With the realization that all she will be left with are the broken pieces of their friendship if she were to be truly honest.

 

Summer?

 

Summer is synonymous with Jennie.

Jennie is synonymous with unwanted feelings.

 

Summer is torture.

 

**

 

“So, when are you going to tell her?” Jisoo tried to shout over the booming music that emanated from the large speakers that were strategically placed around the expansive living room.

“What?” Lisa shouted back, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Jisoo leaned closer and shouted the same question into her ear then pulled back to scan the blonde’s face for a reaction. Lisa simply shook her head and gulped down the rest of the unknown alcoholic contents in her red solo cup. She leaned in to shout into Jisoo’s ear, “Just drop it, alright?”

Jisoo rolled her eyes at the expected reply, she was tired of watching one of her best friends silently pine over another one of her best friends. It was somehow so obvious to her, she didn’t know how Jennie never seemed to notice or realize that the way Lisa behaved around her was different. In fact, she was a bit baffled that she seemed to be the only person that noticed. However, she attributed that to the fact that she had known Lisa for such a long time and picked up on certain things that most people wouldn’t. Like her undeniable attraction to Jennie.

Jisoo got closer and wrapped one of her arms around Lisa’s waist to keep the younger girl from running away, “You have to tell her at some point.”

Lisa huffed and glared at her, “Can we not talk about this right now? It’s a party, for Pete’s sake.” She motioned around them then pointed over in the general direction of the kitchen, “I’m gonna get another drink, want anything?”

Jisoo shook her head and watched the blonde push through the crowd to make her way towards the kitchen.

Lisa maneuvered her way through the thick crowd of mostly drunk college students that were jumping and wildly moving about to the beat of the music that reverberated throughout the house making the walls shake and her body buzz with energy.

Once she broke through the crowd of dancing partygoers she scanned the area and spotted a familiar brunette leaning against the kitchen counter that was littered with various cups and half-empty bottles of alcohol. Lisa hastened her pace and made her way towards the brunette. Upon closer inspection, she noticed the girl rubbing at her temples with agitation then scrunching her eyes and opening them again in an attempt to better focus on her surroundings.

“Jen?” she shouted over the blaring music, her hand automatically reaching out to grab onto the shorter girl’s forearm.

“Lice,” Jennie turned and practically fell into her, Lisa’s arms automatically catching the girl and holding her close against her body.

“Lisa? I thought you went home already,” a male voice jumped in. Lisa looked up only to meet eyes with him. Alex. Jennie’s boyfriend.

“No,” she curtly answered him while looking over Jennie once more, then directed her next questions at the girl in her arms, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I think- the- my drink, someone- I don’t know. I’m dizzy and I don’t-,” she fumbled for her words.

“Hey, hey,” Lisa looked into her eyes and cupped her cheek with one hand, the other firmly wrapped around the brunette’s waist in order to keep her from falling over, “No one’s gonna do anything to you, okay?”

Jennie nodded, her eyes unfocused and gleaming with unshed tears, something unusual for her considering she didn’t like to look so vulnerable in public places.

“I thought you left.”

The sentence barely reached Lisa’s ears, the deafening music and hollering of drunk college students proving to be a great obstacle for mumbled words, but once they did she instantly reacted by pulling the shorter girl into a hug.

“Don’t be silly, I’d never leave you.”

Alex, who had been standing right behind Jennie all along, shifted his stance awkwardly and cleared his throat in an attempt to gain their attention.

“Come on, babe, I’ll drive you home.” He reached out to rub a soothing hand over Jennie’s back. Jennie flinched away by reflex then turned to face him once more.

“Actually, I--,”

Lisa felt the way Jennie had stiffened under her touch when he had reached for her. She heard the slight inflection in her voice and she could guess Jennie’s next words as if they were her own.

“I’ll drive her home, I was about to head back anyway,” she jumped in.

“Oh, uh, are you sure? I saw you drinking earlier, wouldn’t it be better if I drove her?”

“I had one drink two hours ago, we’ll be fine, thanks for the offer though.”

“Babe, are you sure?” he asked Jennie again.

“Yeah, we live together anyway, you don’t need to go out of your way,” she waved him off.

He sighed, “Just text me when you get home, okay?”

“Sure,” Jennie nodded.

Alex leaned in to give her a quick peck on the lips, his large hand reached for one of her dainty ones and he softly ran his thumb over her knuckles before kissing the back of her hand. Lisa cringed inwardly, her hands balling up at her sides, she glanced away and momentarily focused her attention elsewhere.

“I’ll see you later,” he smiled then turned to Lisa, “Drive safe, alright?”

“Yes, sir,” she mock saluted before stepping closer to the shorter girl and easily slipping her arm around her waist to keep her steady.

They made their way through the throng of dancing people and out into the cool open air, away from the booming music, away from the stench of weed and alcohol, the full moon lighting their way.

Lisa opened the front passenger’s door for Jennie and helped her settle into her seat, taking a moment to check for any odd symptoms.

“How do you feel?”

Jennie looked back at her face, unable to fully focus her eyes on her own.

“Tired. Sleepy. Mostly dizzy.”

“We’ll be home in a bit, don’t worry,” she tucked a loose strand of hair behind the brunette’s ear and gave her a soft smile before closing the passenger door and making her way around the car. Once safely buckled in she got her phone out to send a quick text to Jisoo.

 

Jen isn’t feeling well, I’m taking her home. Don’t get too wasted. Call if you need anything, k?

 

She quickly put her phone away and glanced at Jennie once more if only to placate her own racing mind.

She’s here.

She’s with me.

She’s safe.

The fact that anyone would try to drug Jennie in order to take advantage of her in any way infuriated her. Earlier on she was able to keep calm in front of the older girl but deep within she was far from it, she was angry, yes, but she was also scared. Lately she had been trying to keep a distance from the brunette, both physically and mentally. Obviously, that didn’t work out very well. Lisa couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, Jennie wouldn’t have been drugged if she hadn’t been keeping a distance from her. And then another question pops into her mind: what if Alex hadn’t been around either?

What if-

No.

She closes her eyes for a second in an attempt to get rid of that train of thought. She checks the mirrors before pulling out of her parking spot and starting on the drive back to their shared apartment. Halfway through the trip Jennie, who is dozing in the passenger seat, starts mumbling under her breath, her words barely audible.

“No…-lex...you, I…Lisa…Lice…-ve you. Don’t…stay.

Lisa frowned and braved a look in Jennie’s direction, the girl was twitching in her sleep, her eyebrows scrunched together, and her hands balled up in her lap. The blonde reached over with her free hand and took the older girl’s fist, she squeezed once in reassurance and spoke in a soft soothing voice, “Hey… wake up, it’s just a dream.”

Jennie’s eyelids fluttered open and she in a deep breath, her bleary eyes squinting at Lisa while her lower lip jutted out in a pout. Lisa looked at her then swiftly shifted her eyes back to the road ahead.

“I know,” Lisa squeezed her fist once more, “we’re almost there.”

In response, Jennie opened her fist and entwined their hands together before letting her eyes close and resting her head against the window.

A smile tugged at Lisa’s lips.

 

When they finally arrived Lisa quickly got out of the car and walked around to the passenger’s side to help Jennie up. The girl was passed out yet again so instead of going through the ordeal of waking her Lisa simply picked her up bridal-style and closed the car door behind her with her foot.

The things I do for you…

She stepped into the building and made her way to the elevator, went up to the third floor, and fumbled with her keys in front of the doorway.

“,” she cursed under her breath when she missed the keyhole for the fifth time in a row, her arms worn-out from carrying Jennie the whole distance. On the seventh try the key finally met its mark and the lock clicked out of place. Lisa hurriedly pushed the door open with her foot and made her way inside, leaving the keys in the lock, she made a beeline for Jennie’s bedroom so she could finally set the girl down.

Damn, I need to work out.

She thought as she gently settled the brunette on top of the covers, her arm muscles aching from the exertion. She took off the brunette’s shoes and pulled the covers from underneath her to cover her up. Jennie woke up with a whimper and turned to face Lisa, an adorable pout adorning her face.

“I’m hot.”

Yes, you are.

Lisa merely looked at her questioningly. Jennie threw off the covers and tugged at her shirt with much effort but little results.

“Lice,” she whined, “help me.”

Lisa’s eyes widened.

“Oh, sure.” She set one of her knees on the bed for support and leaned forward to help the older girl sit up and easily slipped off her shirt, exposing Jennie’s black lace bra, then laid her back down. Lisa tried to look elsewhere, her face lightly flushed from the contact with Jennie’s torso.

“Anything else?”

“Jeans.”

“What?”

“My jeans too,” Jennie mumbled, her eyes drooping closed.

“Right,” Lisa nodded and ducked her head in hopes that her hair would cover up the deep blush that spread over her cheeks. She had never before been more thankful that the light was still off and the room cast in shadows, illuminated by nothing but the faint moonlight streaming in through the blinds.

She shifted down a bit and deftly started ing and ping Jennie’s jeans while making sure to keep the skin contact to a minimum. She slipped her fingers under the waistband of the brunette’s jeans and started tugging them down only to be stopped.

“Je-,” her voice cracked and she cleared , “Jen?”

“Hm?” The older girl squinted up at her with drowsy eyes.

“Lift up,” Lisa lightly tapped the sides of her hips to signal what she meant. Jennie lifted her hips and Lisa made quick work of slipping the jeans down her soft tanned legs and carelessly throwing them off to the side in the same direction she threw the shirt. Of course, she noticed how goosebumps erupted all over the older girl’s skin when her hand made much more contact than was absolutely necessary while slipping the jeans off. She also heard something that sounded suspiciously like a whimper when she did so. Lisa wrote it off as nothing.

It was the air, she thought.

A sudden chill. Or something like that.

And the whimper?

Another dream maybe…

But she’s awake, another part of her brain supplied.

A daydream…who knows.

“Okay,” she shifted and stepped away from the bed, her eyes giving the older girl a full once-over, hesitating at the black lace that match her bra and going back up to her face. Lisa swallowed the lump in and took a deep breath.

“I’ll be in my room if you need anything,” she jabbed her thumb behind her, in the general direction of her room and stepped through the threshold.

“Lisa,” Jennie’s raspy voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

“Yeah?”

“Sleep with me.”

“W-what?”

“Stay,” the older girl extended a hand towards her, beckoning her to come closer.

Lisa sighed, she knew she couldn’t say no. She could never really say no to the girl, especially not when she had that face and that pout…and that look in her eyes. Somehow it was that look that always managed to convince her.

“Okay, I just have to close the front door, I’ll be right back.” She left and returned just as quickly. She stepped back into the room and closed the door behind her before kicking off her shoes and slipping under the covers of the bed.

“You don’t usually sleep with clothes on,” Jennie pointed out.

“I-,”

“It’s uncomfortable, take it off,” Jennie blindly reached over and tugged at her shirt. Lisa huffed and sat up to yank her shirt off and throw it somewhere near the bedside. The fact that Jennie just asked her to take off her clothes while she’s already lying there half and in such close proximity made her whole body overheat. She laid back down and undid her jeans, lifted her hips off the bed and slipped them off completely before throwing them aside in the near darkness.

“Come here,” Jennie whispered once she felt Lisa settle back down.

Lisa’s heart started beating erratically in her chest.

Jennie wanted to cuddle.

Half-.

With her.

Right now.

With slow movements the blonde scoot over to Jennie’s side of the bed and lay as still as a brick wall once she felt it was near enough, her arms close to her own body.

It wasn’t until she felt Jennie turn away from her in her spot and reach back to grab at Lisa’s arm to pull forward and around her own waist that Lisa loosened up a bit, unable to keep still any longer. Jennie tugged at her arm again and Lisa slipped closer, molding her front to Jennie’s back, the distance between their bodies almost non-existent. The brunette in her arms sighed and Lisa wondered if she could feel how hard and fast her heart was beating against her chest. She wondered if Jennie could hear it.

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on controlling her breathing, it wouldn’t do her any good if Jennie noticed the way her traitorous body was reacting to her.

Being around her. Near her. Touching her. Telling Jennie she loved her but not that way. Even though she did mean it that way. Every single time. Being so close yet so far away. It drove Lisa mad. But she couldn’t stay away, she didn’t want to, not really. At the end of the day, when it all came down to it, Lisa would always come back, she would always be there, a loyal and supportive friend. Jennie’s best friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Several long minutes filled with the girl’s steady breaths later a question popped into Lisa’s head, a mere curiosity that piqued her interest and she couldn’t fall asleep without getting an answer.

“Jen?”

“Hm?”

“Why didn’t you want Alex to bring you home?”

A simple question. So many possible answers.

Jennie squeezed the arm that was wrapped around her bare waist and half-mumbled the reply into her pillow.

“I feel safer when I’m with you.”

Lisa’s heart skipped a beat. Her brain stopped working, if only for a split second, and she felt something that felt, oddly, like butterflies in her stomach. A grin spread on her lips and, without thinking, she leaned forward to press a soft kiss to the brunette’s shoulder.

Jennie shivered.

The blonde reached out to pull the covers up over both their bodies and exhaled a soft, “Good night.”

 

**

 

The next morning, Jennie was the first to wake from her peaceful slumber. Her eyelids felt heavy when she opened them, the little sunlight that filtered in through the blinds of the window somehow managed to blind her. The first thing she became aware of was her splitting headache. The second thing? Well, it was fairly obvious that she wasn’t alone in the bed. She glanced down at the arm that was loosely, yet protectively, wrapped around her midsection. A smile pulled at her lips and she sunk back further into the embrace of the warm, half , body behind her once she realized who it was. She closed her eyes in contentment and let out a soft sigh. The brush of the girl’s bare skin against her own giving her much more pleasure than it really should. Inappropriately so.

She loved mornings like this. She loved waking up in the arms of the blonde girl that currently lay in bed with her. She loved Summer because with it came the promise of waking up in Lisa’s arms more often, sometimes half , and brushing it off as a spur of the moment thing, a drunken decision, a drunk Jennie being needy, as always. Sometimes Jennie wondered why Lisa always seemed to say yes to her, why she stuck around and followed her every whim. The only answer she could come up with is that Lisa was simply a good friend, her best friend, and that Lisa loved her very much…as a friend.

But then why did that night happen? A part of her brain questioned.

Jennie lightly shook her head to rid herself of such thoughts, she shouldn’t be questioning that now.

The slight movement jostled Lisa awake. Jennie knew the exact moment the blonde came into consciousness, she felt the warm body behind her immediately stiffen while the girl seemed to hold her breath. Jennie closed her eyes in disappointment, she wished Lisa’s initial reaction would be to pull her closer, hold her tighter, to turn her around and kiss her. She wishes Lisa wanted her. She wishes Lisa loved her, not like a friend, but more.

Jennie slid her hand up and down Lisa’s arm in a soothing caress and felt the blonde freeze for a second before letting her body relax against hers.

“Morning,” Jennie husked out as a way of greeting.

“When did you wake up?” The blonde questioned in her raspy morning voice.

“Couple minutes ago.”

“How do you feel?”

“Like someone bashed my head with a bat,” she grimaced, “what happened last night?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Not completely.”

“Someone drugged your drink.”

“Oh…”

Lisa gave her a light squeeze, “Don’t worry, nothing else happened, I just brought you home.”

Jennie turned around to face the younger girl and buried her face in her neck, her arms around her in a tight hug.

“You’re the best, you know that?”

Lisa chuckled and hugged her back, “So I’ve heard.”

The moment was broken when both their stomachs growled simultaneously. Jennie looked up in mild surprise while Lisa ducked her head with a sheepish smile on her face.

Jennie sniggered at the younger girl’s embarrassment, “Get me some Ibuprofen and I’ll makes us breakfast, you hungry beast.” She pushed the girl out of bed with a playful shove and one last laugh.

 

**

 

“Yo, yo, yo, Jolisa!” Came the excited voice on the other side of the line.

Lisa groaned.

“What the hell, Jisoo? It’s seven AM.”

“Exactly, it’s seven AM, that means it’s time to drag your lazy out of bed because we’re supposed to be spending the day at the beach, remember?”

“You were serious about that?”

“Yes, I was serious, now get up and get your stuff ready, we’ll be over in thirty.”

“We?”

“Chaeyoung and I.”

Lisa grumbled something unintelligible followed by a grumpy, “Fine.” Before hanging up and tossing her phone aside.

Lisa had previously specified, more than once, that she didn’t want to go to the beach, at least not to this particular outing, for personal reasons.

Those personal reasons being…well, Jennie. And Alex. Together. Probably all over each other, too. However, Jisoo had complained time and time again stating that they hadn’t been to the beach in ages, that it would be fun, and that Lisa needed her yearly tan, she was looking far too pale.

Lisa fr