“Oh my God, Yoo Jeongyeon, you’re unbelievable!”

Angrily, Nayeon stamped out of the room, her hands clenched in fists. Jeongyeon, helpless as usual, looked her best friend walk away in rage. Momo gave her a quick nudge to go after her and she did, albeit with a sigh. It had gotten awkwardly silent between the remaining eight girls, none of them exactly knowing what had caused the eldest’s outburst.

Jeongyeon stood up, her cheeks reddening slightly, as seven pairs of eyes poked in her back. She walked after Nayeon, who had slammed the door to her bedroom shut with a loud bang. A part of her wondered if it wasn’t just safer to just stay outside...

With another sigh, she opened the door, finding Nayeon laying in her bed, her knees pulled up to her belly and her arms wrapped around them. For a split second, Jeongyeon reckoned she was crying, but as soon as she lifted her head, she was proved wrong. Nayeon stared at angrily at her.

She closed the door and shut it carefully. Of course, the rest of the girls would be closely listening, but it made her feel a bit more secure. At the same time: she was now trapped in a room with her best friend who almost looked at her loathingly. Nayeon had never looked at her like that and the fact that she didn’t even know what she had done wrong was even more confusing to her.

“Honestly, Nayeon, I have no clue what’s going on-” she started, hoping to ease her friend a bit – perhaps, if she could explain what this was about, they could work it out. That backfired hard when Nayeon got up and looked with eyes burning of fury.

“Exactly, you never have an idea about what’s going on,” she hissed. Jeongyeon frowned.

“I’m trying to make it up to you here, but if I don’t know what I did wrong then I don’t know what to do,” she tried. Nayeon turned around with an annoyed huff and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Jeongyeon let out a sigh.

“You’re pretty hard to please, you know,” she eventually added with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood...

Let’s just say that Jeongyeon wasn’t the best when it came to communicating.

Nayeon turned around, her eyes filled with fire, and strode towards her with three steps so quick that Jeongyeon had no time to respond. Before she knew what was happening, Nayeon stood only half a meter away, pointing at her chest with a finger that shook of anger. In fear, she stepped backwards, but Nayeon simply closed the gap by walking forwards until Jeongyeon’s back hit the wall.

“I am hard to please? Are you kidding me?” she yelled.

“Ssssh, the others-”

“I don’t ing care! I am not hard to please, Yoo Jeongyeon! You’re just incapable of noticing things!” she went on, causing Jeongyeon to cringe at the loudness of her voice. “Do you honestly have no idea what I’m talking about? Literally, none?”

Jeongyeon opened to object, but she closed it again. She indeed had no idea what Nayeon was going on about. And normally, that would be very surprising. Nayeon was her best friend and she could read her like a book. At least, the bigger lines. Whatever Nayeon was upset about right now had probably been really subtle and in her enthusiasm, Jeongyeon often forgot to pay attention to the little details.

“Just tell me, then!” she replied, raising her voice as well. By now, she was getting annoyed as well. She just wanted to help.

“I can’t!” Nayeon bellowed back. Jeongyeon snorted.

“Then how on earth am I supposed to know what the hell is going on, hmm?” she asked sceptically. “If you can’t even tell yourself then how am I supposed to tell?”

Nayeon fell silent for a moment, obviously turning her even angrier now that Jeongyeon had her caught with one of her witty comments.

“I do know what’s going on, it’s just that I can’t talk about it out loud,” she eventually said, turning away her gaze. Jeongyeon rose one of her eyebrows.

“So, it’s embarrassing, then?” she concluded. Nayeon shot her a look that was hard to identify but her best friend knew her well enough that she had tipped the curtain.

“It’s not supposed to be. But you made it by not noticing me!” she said in defense. Jeongyeon rolled her eyes.

“Why not? Just tell me! I won’t laugh, I promise.”

“I can’t!”

“Then show me,” she suggested. Nayeon’s fierce gaze softened a bit and for a moment, all she could do was stare at the other girl in hesitation. The short-haired girl raised her eyebrows in anticipation of her reaction.

“Okay,” she eventually said slowly. With her teeth, she caught her lower lip and chewed on it for a moment. When she let it go, her gaze had turned confident. Jeongyeon had seen that type of look in her eyes a dozen times; it was her stage-look, the look that indicated that she was going to do what she wanted to do, no matter the consequences.

Nayeon stepped forwards and Jeongyeon let her, only realizing too late that that was exactly what Nayeon wanted. And with the wall pressing up against her back, there was no way to go. Their gaze locked for a split second, Jeongyeon hopelessly trying to send enough signals to express her worry when Nayeon kept coming closer. Her friend ignored her, though. Instead, her eyes were focused on her lips. Nayeon’s hands folded around her face and she brought up her face. Jeongyeon was petrified, her heart beating faster with every inch that Nayeon came closer.

The blonde was a few centimeters taller than Nayeon was, meaning that Nayeon was obliged to lift her chin a little bit. Jeongyeon could feel her breath on her lips and a shudder ran through her body, all the way from her spine to the tips of her fingers and toes. She hoped this was just one of Nayeon’s jokes to try and make her uncomfortable, but something said her that the way her friend was closing the gap between them was too intimate to be a joke.

Their lips met in a flurry of softness. Nayeon closed her eyes, but Jeongyeon was too shocked to do so. With her breath caught in , she looked down on the older girl kissing her, her hands still around her face, her lips pressed up to hers like soft pillows. The strong, sweet scent of her perfume entered her nose and made her dizzy, which didn’t at all help to make her decide whether to push Nayeon away or let her be. Her body was shaking, her arms awkwardly by her side.

Seconds passed and Jeongyeon was still too flabbergasted to respond. The kiss was one-sided and she wasn’t the only one who noticed. Nayeon’s hands moved from her face to her shoulders and she was ready to pull back; already getting the message that Jeongyeon didn’t like her.

Their lips disconnected at the moment the taller girl was finally able to respond to the situation. Nayeon was already bowing back, distancing herself from her friend emotionally as well as physically when Jeongyeon pulled her back. It felt as if an invisible force guided her body and even if she could think of any objections right now, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Jeongyeon’s arm slid around Nayeon’s waist and almost hungrily she pushed her lips back upon hers. Whilst Nayeon’s kiss had been calculated and had been so soft that Jeongyeon had wondered half of the time if she wasn’t dreaming, their lips now collided harder, causing their front teeth to bump together. For the first time, Jeongyeon’s eyes fluttered shut. Nayeon, overmastered by the sudden turn of events, had trouble adjusting. She was quick to catch up, however, and within seconds their lips slid over each other’s as if they were made to do so. Nayeon’s arms curled around her neck, pulling her closer. Jeongyeon was still a bit wary, but it didn’t take long for her to find Nayeon’s hips.

When the need of oxygen became too much, Jeongyeon pulled away. Panting, she stared confusedly at the girl who still had her arms wrapped around her neck. Nayeon’s lips had turned a slightly darker, being now perfectly pastel pink, and had swollen from the kiss. Her eyes were large as well, albeit rather in awe than confusion. Nayeon closed and swallowed audibly, not sure what to do now.

And even though Jeongyeon might seem like the person who would take the lead at moments like these, she just stood there, frozen, like a statue. Unlike Nayeon, she had barely ever acted upon her crushes like this. She didn’t have the balls to walk up to someone and confess to them, one way or another, and kiss them. And right now, she had no idea what was supposed to happen now.

In a drama, this would be the moment in which the main couple would come together. And even though their life was much like a drama, Jeongyeon didn’t feel at all confident like the male lead and right now, she just wanted to run away.

“I-I have to go,” she blurted out. The taller girl freed herself from Nayeon’s arms and rushed out of the room.

When she opened the door, she noticed Momo and Chaeyoung stir a few meters away, trying to look as innocent as possible, getting themselves something to drink and acting as if they hadn’t eavesdropped.

Jeongyeon tried to ignore the staring eyes from the members as she walked towards her roommate, dragged her away from the fridge and back into their own room. As she slammed the door shut, she saw Nayeon leave her own room with blushed cheeks.

 

“What?” Momo said, as soon as Jeongyeon had secured the door.

“Something happened,” Jeongyeon breathed, still a bit out of breath. Momo rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, duh. You had a fight with Nayeon. I gotta say, she is a feisty one but she has never gotten mad like that. You must’ve really screwed up,” she said. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Jeongyeon murmered. “I did nothing.”

“So, she got mad at you because she likes to get mad at you? Sounds like something Tzuyu would do.”

“No… She got mad at me for doing nothing, for noticing nothing,” she explained. With red cheeks, she sat down on their bed. Momo eyed her from across the room, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Explain.”

Suddenly, it felt very awkward to talk about it. It had been something intimate between the two of them and honestly, she had a feeling that Momo would start to make fun of her as soon as she admitted she had kissed Nayeon. Either that, or turn away in disgust.

Overall, they were very comfortable with skinship, but actual kissing was something else, especially because Jeongyeon hadn’t just let it happen – she had actually kissed her back.

“How do you notice someone is in love?”

“Nayeon is in love?!” her friend immediately blurted out, causing Jeongyeon to shush her immediately. “Who is it? Which man stole her heart?”

She took a deep sigh.

“I did.”

Momo stared at her for a moment, then burst out in laughter. Jeongyeon watched her best friend in annoyance as she laughed, clutching her belly, with tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Yah!” she eventually called out irritated. “What’s so funny?”

“You didn’t know?” Momo managed to get out, in between her stifled chuckles. “I thought you knew!”

“Did you know?”

“Of course I did. You don’t have to be an expert to see that she’s head over heels for you and has been trying for ages to get you to notice her!” Momo grinned. “She didn’t tell me directly but I have seen her and Jihyo whisper with each other quite a lot of times. I eventually asked Sana and she had been long on her track before I was. I suppose only the maknaes don’t know, since I told Mina about my speculations. It wouldn’t surprise me that Chaeyoung has figured it out on her own and Tzuyu eavesdropped on one of us.”

“And you didn’t bother to tell me?” Jeongyeon grimaced. Momo shrugged apologetically, although her big grin covering her face told her that she wasn’t quite sorry at all.

“I thought you knew but that you had rejected her or something. Now it makes sense why Nayeon didn’t stop trying. I know she’s persistent but even she will back off if someone tells her that they don’t feel the same way. She still has some sort of pride, you know.”

Jeongyeon sighed and rubbed with her fingers in her eyes, suddenly feeling tired. She let herself fall backwards onto the bed, facing the ceiling. Momo watched her and eventually laid down next to her.

“So, what happened, then?” her friend eventually asked.

“Well, she was angry with me for – you know – not noticing her attempts to flirt with me, but she wouldn’t tell me directly. I kind of made the mistake to tell her that she should show me if she couldn’t tell me and she kissed me…”

“Oh my God,” Momo murmured. “-that’s so Nayeon, it seems like a scene straight from a drama!”

Jeongyeon murmured in agreeance.

“And, what happened next?”

“I couldn’t kiss her back the first time, so-”

“YOU KISSED TWICE?” Momo interrupted her excitedly, causing Jeongyeon to shoot her an angry glance. Momo signed that she’d be silent.

“I don’t know, I was just terrified about what was happening. When she bowed back, I took her hand and kissed her again. After that, I freaked out and ran away. I found you and well, here we are.”

“You’re just as bad as Nayeon, you know? Y’all should stop watching so many dramas,” Momo commented. Jeongyeon rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Then why did you? If you don’t like her, why did you kiss her back?” her friend asked her, with a sharpness in her voice that made Jeongyeon look up. “You know, it’s a real douchebag move to kiss her if she’s in love with you and you don’t feel anything for her.”

“I didn’t do it because I wanted to hurt her,” she defended herself. “I don’t know why I did it.”

Momo sighed and rolled her eyes. “Better figure it out then, my friend. Knowing Nayeon, she’ll soon approach you again, either for more or for an explanation.”

Jeongyeon rolled over to her belly and buried her face in the soft, pastel pink sheets of their bed.

“I know…”

 

In fact, Nayeon came back sooner than expected.

 

The following day, something had shifted between the group. Jihyo looked at her with almost blaming eyes. Jeongyeon guessed she was well aware of the situation and how badly she ed up. She couldn’t meet their leader’s eyes that day.

On top of that, Jihyo didn’t seem to leave Nayeon alone, who wouldn’t look at her at all. She completely ignored her existence. Jeongyeon was used to Nayeon ignoring her – normally, she would’ve done that after their teasing got too intense and she had gotten a bit agitated with her, but often that only took an hour or two before she was herself again – but this time she felt really awkward under it. This wasn’t some simple teasing or a joke gone too far. It was serious and real.

Momo didn’t seem to mind it much, but she did notice Mina and Sana whispering to each other now and then. She guessed that Momo had told her girlfriend about the new situation and Sana had sensed that something was going on as well.

The only persons who didn’t seem to know what was going on were the maknaes. But then again, they were at school most of the day – except for Dahyun – and were too tired to pay much attention to the on-going silent war between Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Yet, Chaeyoung could read Jeongyeon like a book and the younger girl had given her some knowing gazes to which Jeongyeon could conclude she was aware of the situation.

 

Jeongyeon tried to connect with her best friend again, but every time she tried to get closer to her, Jihyo snatched her away, or one of the other girls unawarely caused her plan to fail.

During dinner, when Nayeon had asked someone to pass the kimchi, Jeongyeon had taken the bowl and reached it to her. The look Nayeon had given her – almost utter fear – had caused Jeongyeon to shrink with shame. Nayeon had quietly taken the bowl, muttering a ‘thank you’, avoiding her eyes.

Jeongyeon had wanted to get up from her chair and do something, just to get a reaction out of her that wasn’t awkward. But instead, they just sat at the dinner table, with heavy hearts and their lower lips caught between their teeth.

 

Jeongyeon had already decided to do something about the situation soon, but Nayeon took the matter in her own hands.

That evening, around an hour or two at night, she heard soft knocking on the door. Jeongyeon, disturbed by the sound, looked up, knowing fully well that Momo would never knock on their door and would simply barge in, just like many of the other members. On top of that, she had already texted that she’d probably crash in Mina’s bed for the night. Nowadays the two girls shared a bed quite a lot, leaving Jeongyeon with an incredible amount of space.

The only person who would knock on the door would be Nayeon – or perhaps Tzuyu but she knew their youngest went to bed early on a school day.

She got up from the bed and opened the door. Her best friend stood there, in her white-yellow bunny onesie, hopping on one foot to the other because she was cold. When Jeongyeon opened the door, she looked up almost in surprise, as if she hadn’t expected her to actually open the door.

“Can I come in?” she asked. To answer her question, the taller girl stepped aside to let her pass. Nayeon got into the room and Jeongyeon let the door fall shut. A silence settled between the two girls. Nayeon – obviously uncomfortable – averted her gaze to the ground, searching on anything that was interesting enough to keep her eyes on and therefore avoiding Jeongyeon’s look.

She expected Nayeon to make the first step, since it was her after all who had come to her room. But the other girl seemed to not be able to.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice,” the blonde eventually said, causing her friend to look up.

“I came to apologize,” she muttered. “I didn’t mean to make our friendship so awkward. I really didn’t.”

Nayeon sat down upon the bed and pulled up her knees, hugging them against her body. Jeongyeon watched her stare to the ground with an almost empty expression. She sat down next to her.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she mumbled. “You cannot control whom you like, I suppose.”

“No, you don’t, but I could’ve been more… I don’t know, I could’ve tried harder to get over you.”

Jeongyeon looked up and shook her head.

“To truly get over someone, you have to distance yourself from them. It was impossible for you. We live together, we’re best friends-”

“And now I ruined our friendship,” Nayeon added with a dark voice. “Admit it.”

“No, it just means things will change.”

“But I don’t want anything to change. I want us to be like we used to be, without us being afraid to touch each other. I want us to tease each other again and have our stupid love-hate relationship. I don’t want this, I don’t want to be in love with you and I hate myself for it because you don’t like me, even though you kissed me back. I could feel it, you know?”

Jeongyeon bit her lip. A shaky sigh escaped her lips. The silence returned, more sweltry than ever.

“How do you know how I feel?” she eventually muttered. Nayeon stirred, but didn’t look up.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t know how I feel, or what I felt like when we kissed. You’re just assuming the worst right now and you’re almost trying your best to make your predictions happen just so you can punish yourself for following your heart.”

Nayeon looked up and stared at her friend with an expression that was difficult to read. Jeongyeon stole a glance, although she had a hard time looking in those round puppy eyes. The brunette breathed louder than usual.

“Don’t give me hope, Jeongyeon,” she eventually said, her voice as soft and squeaky as a mouse’s. “That’s even worse than heartbreak.”

“I’m not giving you hope, I’m being honest,” Jeongyeon replied. “You should stop hurting yourself because of your feelings. You can’t control them.”

“But I don’t know what to do anymore,” Nayeon forced out, tears appearing in her eyes. She tore her gaze away from Jeongyeon and buried it in the crook between her knees and her body, her shoulders shaking softly. There was no sound coming from her, but Jeongyeon noticed how her nails digged into the skin of her calves, which were just a little bit exposed under her onesie.

Jeongyeon didn’t hesitate to pull her closer. Even if she hadn’t been conflicted by her own emotions, she would have done so; it was a natural reflex to seeing her friend upset. What had happened between them didn’t have anything to do with the hug.

But the recent events did play a part in her stirring emotions and even though Jeongyeon didn’t like to admit it; her heart had been shaken when they had kissed. And even though she had never thought about having romantic feelings for Nayeon, the other girl has been on her mind the whole day today. And her sudden urge to pull her back and kiss her again was suspicious and set her off to think about what was actually happening to her.

Shouldn’t she feel disgusted if she didn’t like Nayeon? Shouldn’t she feel bad about leading her on and had her trying for so long?

Because she didn’t feel that way and that was even more confusing than Nayeon telling her that she was in love with her. And now that her best friend was leaning onto her shoulder, sobbing into her neck, the urge to lift her head and make her stop crying with a single touch of her lips.

 

Eventually they laid down in the bed, the sheets pulled over their still entangled bodies. Jeongyeon had her arms wrapped around the brunette and Nayeon had curled herself up in a ball, with her face into the blonde’s pyjamas. The crying had stopped, but by the sniffling way of breathing, she still noticed that Nayeon wasn’t one hundred percent okay.

Jeongyeon was on the urge of falling asleep when Nayeon looked up.

“How do you feel about me then?” she asked, with a voice that was still shaking. “If it’s really bad, don’t tell me.”

“I don’t know,” Jeongyeon answered immediately. “I really don’t know. I’m confused.”

Nayeon looked back down and nodded. She propped herself up on her elbow. Their eyes met, hers still shiny of the tears that had fallen only moments ago. Jeongyeon caught herself shifting her gaze to her lips. Right now, she let herself do that, trying to get to gauge what was happening inside her body. And she found that as soon as her eyes had set on Nayeon’s lips, that they wouldn’t leave anymore. Her breath caught in and she had to suppress the urge to place her hand on her cheek.

“You didn't know what you felt like when you kissed me?” Nayeon specified, a frown appearing on her face. Jeongyeon shook her head. Her heart beated hard against her rib cage when their eyes met. Jeongyeon gulped, almost unable to look at her friend, hovering over her.

“I was confused. I didn’t have time to pay attention to my feelings...” she muttered, almost in defense. Nayeon’s gaze eased, but confusion had gathered in her eyes. She took her time before she spoke.

“Just say it,” she eventually breathed, her voice thick with nerves. Jeongyeon bit down on her lower lip.

“Kiss me, again.”

When the words left , it didn’t sound like her voice at all. Jeongyeon, being surprised of her own neediness, was still too overwhelmed to do anything more than to watch Nayeon bow down to her and press her lips ever so slightly upon hers. Her eyes closed automatically this time. Her heart jumped up and down, like an excited little kid, and her belly twisted and turned. She felt one of Nayeon’s hands cup her face as her soft lips worked on hers. Nayeon smelled sweet even without perfume and the scent was enough to drive her mad.

It felt like kissing clouds. They were barely present on hers but it was enough to feel it, enough to want more. It was Jeongyeon who placed her hand in Nayeon’s neck – the other girl shivered at the touch – and deepened the kiss. She opened Nayeon’s mouth more with her own, letting their lips slide over each other like they had the first time they kissed. Nayeon obliged and swung one of her legs over Jeongyeon’s body, so that she was fully hovering over her.

“Tell me… how you… feel,” Nayeon breathed against her lips, in between the kisses. The blonde was actually too busy to even think about her own feelings right now, let alone being able to speak.

It took only a millisecond to realize that enjoying the kissing so much meant so much more than just craving to be loved – by anyone. Perhaps she had always liked Nayeon too, but she had just stuffed it away, explaining her attraction as mere platonic feelings.

The last time she had had a relationship was back in high school with a boy. Falling for a boy was so much different than falling for a girl – let alone your best friend. On top of that, she wasn’t a high school student anymore and whilst she could have afforded to play around a little back then, she wasn’t able to do that now. Jeongyeon knew she needed to watch her words, but what came out felt like exactly the opposite.

“I want more-” she muttered against Nayeon’s lips. “I like… I like you… I like you too…”

The brunette pressed her lips more fiercely upon Jeongyeon’s, who replied with the same need. At a certain point, Nayeon even let out a small moan from the back of . Jeongyeon was surprised at how much she liked the sound, especially now that it was generated by her actions.

 

But in a house with seven other members to bother you, privacy didn’t last long… nor did secrets.

Whilst Jeongyeon thought that her roommate had long fallen asleep in Mina’s bed, the door was kicked in by the athletic brunette a quarter after their kissing session had started. With Nayeon on top, Jeongyeon’s hands on her hips and their lips connected, breathing hard and fast against each other’s lips, there was no denying anymore that there was something more going on. Even in the half dark, Momo could clearly see what was happening.

She froze in the doorway, watching the two girls get off each other as fast as they could. Nayeon’s cheeks had turned deeply red and she rushed out of the room immediately, not even able to say good-bye to either of them. Jeongyeon was left in the bed, her hair a bit ruffled, and a confused, shocked expression on her face.

As soon as they heard the door to the other door slam shut – Jeongyeon reckoned that Nayeon would be interrogated by Jihyo, Mina and Sana as soon as she came in – Momo started to grin. She walked to the other side of the bed and held up the covers between her index finger and her thumb, as if she held up a dirty cloth.

“Do we have to change the sheets?” she asked jokingly, causing Jeongyeon to push her teasingly. Momo started to chuckle.

“So, you like her too?” her friend asked her. Jeongyeon let out a sigh and closed her eyes for a moment. The picture of Nayeon, after their first kiss, with her pastel pink lips, appeared in front of her eyes.

She nodded, still keeping her eyes shut, wanting to enjoy the memory a little longer. When she opened them again, Momo was watching her.

“I think I always did, I simply didn’t know.”

Momo chuckled and shook her head, rolling her eyes.

“Whenever you going to call me stupid in the future, I’m going to remind you to exactly this moment. Who on earth doesn’t realize they’re in love after having spent every day with them?”

Jeongyeon chuckled. “You’re allowed to do that, because it was a pretty stupid move.”

The girls laughed for a moment.

But as Momo grew silent, falling asleep, Jeongyeon couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. Nayeon stayed on her mind that night and long after that.